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Joy

'SNL' cast can't keep it together during a sketch where Ego Nwodim battles her steak dinner

Bowen Yang had to cover his face.

screenshots of Pedro Pascal, Ego Nwodim, and Bowen Yang

Pedro Pascal and Bowen Yang can't keep a straight face as Ego Nwodim tries to cut her steak.

Most episodes of Saturday Night Live are scheduled so the funnier bits go first and the riskier, oddball sketches appear towards the end in case they have to be cut for time. But on the February 4, 2023 episode featuring host Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian, The Last of Us), the final sketch, “Lisa from Temecula,” was probably the most memorable of the night.

That’s high praise because it was a strong episode with a funny “Last of Us” parody featuring the Super Mario Brothers and a sketch where Pascal played a protective mother.


In “Lisa from Temecula,” Paul, played by Pascal, takes a few friends out for dinner played by Punkie Johnson, newcomer Molly Kearney, and breakout star Bowen Yang. The trouble comes when Johnson’s sister Lisa, played by Ego Nwodim, orders her steak “extra, extra well done.”

The sketch is a play on the notion that it’s a faux pas to order well-done steak, especially in a fancy restaurant. However, Lisa doesn’t care and won’t tolerate “one speck of red” on her steak.

The sketch is one of the rare moments on SNL where things are so funny that the cast breaks character. Pascal has difficulty getting through his lines and Yang has to cover his face because he can’t stop laughing. But Nwodim only has one small break in the scene and keeps it together as the sketch’s comedy core.

Lisa from Temecula” got a lot of attention online, sparking articles, posts, and lots of praise. Shout out the sketch's writers Alex English, Gary Richardson, and Michael Che.


This article originally appeared last year.

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I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases that we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words — a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.

The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated, or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean — but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.

1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog

dog typing on laptopGiphy

Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.

Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit — sounds pretty sick to me.

What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon, and before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.

2. Sweating like a pig

This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it. Pigs don't sweat!

So... what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.

According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron'. As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs'. 'Sweating like a pig' indicates that the "pig" (ie iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a "pig" you wouldn't want to eat."

3. Bite the bullet

Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?

There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in moving biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it.

4. Healthy as a horse

This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!

The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out — they're really powerful, majestic creatures.

5. Slept like a baby

To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!

Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them — after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot — around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.

6. Happy as a clam

Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.

The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."

At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!

7. The proof is in the pudding

Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates — but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.

This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."

8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

smiling horseGiphy

I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.

But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.

9. Clean as a whistle

Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.

So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.

First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness — as in the sharp sound a whistle makes — and that inference has been lost over time.

10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

This phrase is commonly use to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.

The only problem is... that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement... was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.

11. Have your cake and eat it too

cartoon cake sliceGiphy

Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")

The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it.

12. Head over heels

Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.

The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. Originally, it went "heels over head", implying upside down. Some say it may also reference certain sexual positions...

13. Pushing the envelope

When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.

"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!

Education

Workers who do 'nothing' at the office share how they actually spend their time

"I don't know for how long I will be able to keep going, but I'm gonna exploit the situation the best I can"

People who do "nothing" at work break down what they do all day.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have been guilty of twiddling our thumbs while on the clock. (Back in college, when I worked at a library, that was basically part of the job description.) But in a recent viral post, strangers are swapping stories about gigs where they did "literally nothing" work-related—and sharing how they actually spent their time.

The OP opens the conversation by detailing a typical "boring" day at their current (and first) job—an entry-level role they've held for seven months. "I get to work, I open my PC, and I stare at my screen for 8 hours straight," they write. "Most days I have absolutely nothing to do, and the days there’s some work it takes at most a couple [hours] of my time. I work in an open space, but nobody has noticed, so I guess I’m really good at [seeming] busy. My bosses respect me and even thank me for my work. I don’t know how long I will be able to keep going, but I’m gonna exploit the situation the best I can."

Bored Julia Louis Dreyfus GIFGiphy

From there, fellow Redditors weighed in with their own stories—from cruising through short-term jobs to milking the downtime at longterm employment. The range in tone varied wildly: Some people encouraged the OP savor every slow day, while others recommended staying busy in other ways.

"This has been my life since early last year," one user wrote. "Laterally moved within my company and now have significant downtime, like I’m in my office at 8 and I’m done with everything by 8:45. I decided to study for the LSAT and just got into law school a few weeks ago. My advice: don’t waste this opportunity."

Someone else said they were in a similar position for eight years, working as a designer at a small agency, where they "only needed to perform on one day each week." Most of the time, they "just needed to be there in case something happened." But instead of doing nothing, they "made great use" of their free time: reading books, learning to code, doing freelance work, and learning enough "to get much better jobs" in the future. "Don’t waste this time staring at the screen," they wrote. "There are plenty of things you can do with a computer, internet access, and free time. Use it. You won't regret it."

Bored Season 3 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Another user wrote that, in the OP’s shoes, they’d "never be able to go home feeling accomplished." They recommended soaking in as much experience as possible and then seeking out a better job. "Don’t waste your time not expanding your knowledge," they wrote. Someone else said they had a low-work job for four years, and it sent them into a depression. "My advice[:] Ask for project work a few times a week," they wrote. "if you don't get anything, use the time to learn something [you’re] interested in and plan for the next job."

Also, you know someone in the thread had to quote Mike Judge’s 1999 black comedy Office Space, which takes a satirical look at office jobs of that era. “I’d say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual work," one user wrote, quoting Ron Livingston’s disgruntled protagonist, Peter Gibbons.

i hate my job bored at work GIFGiphy

Anyway, if you find yourself bored at work and find productive ways to stay busy, check out Indeed’s list of 16 options, like listening to podcasts, creating a networking group, and mentoring a junior employee.

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared last year.

Men's Health

Counterintuitive study sheds light on why men take breakups so much harder than women

4 key findings show a lot of what we believe about relationships is wrong.

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There are a few commonly held beliefs our society has about how men and women approach relationships differently. However, a new study set to be published in the journal Behavioral & Brain Sciences challenges these beliefs. The big headline? In general, men are shown to value relationships more, be more intentional about seeking them out, and take it much harder when a relationship ends.

We know they're generalizations, stereotypes even, and that they don't apply to everyone. But nevertheless, they somehow feel true.

  • Women want marriage, men don't want to commit
  • Women want relationships and romance, men just want sex
  • Men are happy to be single, women actively seek a partner
  • Women are devastated by breakups while men are happy to be 'free'
And so on and so on. To be frank, the findings don't jive with the common stereotypes of men's attitudes towards sex and relationships. At all!


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The study — which consisted of a comprehensive analysis of decades of research across fields like psychology, sociology, and evolutionary biology — uncovered 4 key findings.

Keep in mind that the study primarily looked at data from heterosexual couples and Western, educated, industrialized, rich, and democratic (WEIRD) populations. With that said, the findings were super interesting.

1. Single men are more likely to be actively seeking a partner than single women

This is definitely a surprise. It goes against the mental image of the free-wheeling bachelor who's happy to date and sleep around with no particular rush to settle down (thanks TV and film for constantly reinforcing this one!). It also indicates that, in general, women are far less antsy about being single than the cultural stereotype would suggest.

2. Men benefit more from relationships when it comes to their physical and mental health

To be fair, relationships are usually good for everyone's health... when they're supportive and satisfactory. (Abusive or toxic relationships are far worse.) But the data suggest a bigger gap between single and partnered men, who can experience less depression, stress, hypertension, inflammation, and more.

3. Men are less likely to initiate breakups

This definitely tracks with available data, which shows that a whopping 70% of divorces are initiated by women. That's not even close to being an even split! So it suggests there might be reason for such a big imbalance.

4. Men take breakups harder and display more psychological distress afterwards


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Another study showed that women may feel the effects of a break up more strongly at first, but are much quicker to recover and move on, while guys struggle to fully get over old relationships and even view their exes more positively overall. "They also experience more severe physical health consequences, including an increased risk of suicide and mortality after losing a partner through separation or death," writes PsyPost.

When you put it all together it paints a really interesting and counterintuitive picture of what's really going on before, during, and after relationships between men and women.

So are men just not getting credit for secretly being a bunch of hopeless romantics? Not so fast.

Giphy

Did you know that men usually score higher than women on a test called the Romantic Beliefs Scale? Guys are more likely to believe in things like love at first sight, soul mates, or working through any problem in a relationship. So it's safe to say they're a little more romantic than we give them credit for. (Just because men have romantic notions and may place a lot of value in relationships, doesn't automatically make them good partners... but that's another story.)

But that doesn't explain all the findings here. The more likely explanation lies in the way that men are raised and socialized.


Men have notoriously few intimate relationships outside of romance so it would make sense that they'd struggle when losing the one person they can open up to.

It could also explain why they might not initiate a break up even in a relationship that's not working and why they'd seek a partner out more aggressively. In general, women have a much larger network from which they can find intimacy and emotional support and are less reliant on romantic relationships.

Men's general state of loneliness could also explain why they benefit so much physically and mentally from being partnered. It's truly amazing that having strong social bonds with other people can be so good for your health, to the point where loneliness and isolation can actually hurt your longevity.

It's nice to think that guys might be more romantic than we give them credit for. But taking a breakup really hard is not necessarily a good thing. Men might be more likely to distract themselves from their pain with potentially harmful activities like overworking, drinking/drugs, or seeking rebound relationships or sex. Men are also more likely than women to stalk or otherwise harm their exes.

The 'male loneliness epidemic' has almost become a meme at this point, but it continues to rear its head in new and surprising ways. Being the sole outlet for a man's emotional support and intimacy is a lot of pressure to put on any woman in a relationship. We've got to raise the next generation of boys to feel comfortable seeking closeness in other arenas in life.

Pop Culture

Watch Lucille Ball repeatedly tell a host to take his hands off female audience members

People laughed every time she told him 'hands off,' but she was stone cold serious.

Lucille Ball was a powerhouse both on screen and off.

According to her daughter, Lucille Ball never considered herself a feminist, but there's no question she blazed many a trail for women. A working mother in real life, she depicted issues facing housewives with her brilliant television comedy and became the first female studio head in Hollywood. She broke glass ceilings but wasn't particularly outspoken about women's rights. In fact, in a 1980 interview with "People," she said, “They can use my name for equal rights, but I don’t get out there and raise hell because I’ve been so liberated, I have nothing to squawk about.”

Ball empowered women by example—and by speaking her mind. Carol Burnett shared a story on PBS about how Ball was unhappy with a script for her new show, but women at that time didn't raise concerns about such things. Men could express criticism and demand changes, but women simply didn't. Ball did—and firmly—despite being non-confrontational by nature. Later she told Burnett, "Kid, that's when they put the 's' at the end of my name."

A video has been circulating on social media showing Ball's no-nonsense way of speaking up when she felt the need to, and people are gushing over it.

In 1978, Ball participated in a Q & A session with UCLA theater arts students on the television program "America Alive!" The viral clip shows Ball repeatedly telling one of the hosts, David Sheehan, to take his hands off of female audience members when they were asking a question.

Watch:

@femalequotient

We love Lucy ❤️

People laughed every time, but Ball didn't so much as crack a smile during her clear, simple, repeated "hands off" admonitions. For 1978 especially, her advocacy for the women in the audience was extraordinary. Sheehan wasn't touching these women in a lewd or sexual manner, but he was touching them in a way that he wouldn't have touched a man who was asking a question. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it at the time, but Lucille Ball immediately noted it and didn't let it stand.

"I love that she didn't even laugh when the room was," shared one commenter. "She was not joking."

"'Take your hands off her, David,' should be a sound AND a t-shirt," wrote another.

"He kept trying. She kept telling him. Love her," shared another.

"Lucille Ball always reminds me of my grandma," offered another. "She hated to be seen as delicate, and she hated men that would touch her even more. She would say, stone-faced, 'Get your paws off.'"

Even if Sheehan was casually touching those women out of habit and not ill intent, it's laudable that Ball made a point of making him aware of it. Unfortunately, women are still having to deal with men touching them without being invited to, but seeing Lucille Ball's serious face while calling it out is a good reminder that women have been fighting this battle for a long time. Good for her for using her microphone and the respect afforded her to speak up for the young women in her audience.


This article originally appeared last year.