Before you share an MLK quote, understand that you’re quoting a proud political radical

Every year around Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, social media feeds get flooded with memes bearing Dr. King’s face and words—snapshots of the man with a snippet of his message, wrapped neatly in a square package, easily digested by the masses. We get bombarded by the “not by the color of their skin, but by…

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Photo credit: Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on UnsplashArray

Every year around Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, social media feeds get flooded with memes bearing Dr. King’s face and words—snapshots of the man with a snippet of his message, wrapped neatly in a square package, easily digested by the masses.

We get bombarded by the “not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” quote we all know and love. We get hit with “darkness cannot drive out darkness” memes that keep us feeling cozy in our comfort zones. We see “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear,” over and over, and nod our heads in placid agreement. People of all stripes share MLK quotes that give us all the warm fuzzies, and we think, “Wow, what an amazing, peaceful, universally beloved man.”


But there are two big problems with such memes.

1) Sharing one or two sentences drastically dilutes Dr. King’s legacy, turning his core message into a socially neutral, politically palatable, let’s-all-hold-hands-and-skip-together philosophy—one that challenges no one and betrays the radical reality of his work.

2) Such a whitewashing of King’s message enables people to share his words in a way that actually upholds or overlooks the very injustices he was trying to fight.

RELATED: Steve Bannon claimed MLK would be proud of Trump. King’s daughter shut him down.

For example, I’ve seen people say that people should be “judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” as an argument against Affirmative Action-type programs. I’ve seen people say “hate cannot drive out hate” while mischaracterizing a calling out of racial injustice as hatred. I’ve seen people quote King’s “I have a dream” speech while asserting that talking about racism just perpetuates racism—an assertion King simply didn’t abide.

People frequently twist King’s words to fit their worldview, and in doing so, dishonor the man and his fight for true justice. The radical nature of his message seems to have been watered down into what people think he was—a gentle leader who advocated a non-violent approach to fighting for equality—instead of what he actually was—a passionate disrupter who constantly pushed boundaries and pulled no punches when calling out injustices of all kinds. Many Americans today would undoubtedly call him a “race-baiter” at best, and an “extremist thug” at worst.

We mustn’t forget that King was considered a radical and a criminal, by both the U.S. government and much of mainstream America, during his lifetime. At the height of his activism, nearly two-thirds of Americans had an unfavorable opinion of King. And that disapproval didn’t just come from the openly racist South. After being hit with a rock at a desegregation march in Chicago, King remarked, “I have seen many demonstrations in the South, but I have never seen anything so hostile and so hateful as I’ve seen here today.”

King had strong words for those of us who think we’re not racist. When I first read King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail—his response to a group of clergymen who agreed with his antiracism sentiments but criticized his “extreme” methods—I was blown away. I remember thinking that my education about Dr. King had been sorely lacking, that I’d never learned how much criticism he’d faced and how frequently he was considered an extremist by white moderates, and that I had no idea how he had directly challenged white Americans of goodwill. (In other words, people like me.)

The least we can do to honor King’s life is to go beyond popular one-liners, take the time to read one of his most important works, and to meditate on the challenges he presented to us. You can read King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail in its entirety here, but I’ve included some excerpts below that highlight some of its main points.

For example, this passage explaining how peaceful activism doesn’t mean avoiding tension and crisis:

“You may well ask: ‘Why direct action? Why sit ins, marches and so forth? Isn’t negotiation a better path?’ You are quite right in calling for negotiation. Indeed, this is the very purpose of direct action. Nonviolent direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored. My citing the creation of tension as part of the work of the nonviolent resister may sound rather shocking. But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word ‘tension.’ I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth. Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood. The purpose of our direct action program is to create a situation so crisis packed that it will inevitably open the door to negotiation.”

RELATED: Ad execs probably should have read the full MLK speech before making that commercial.

Or this passage about the “timing” of taking action against injustice:

“We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was ‘well timed’ in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word ‘Wait!’ It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This ‘Wait’ has almost always meant ‘Never.’ We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that ‘justice too long delayed is justice denied.’”

Many people who praise Dr. King would have called him a criminal if he were still alive today, as he advocated breaking unjust laws:

“One may well ask: ‘How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?’ The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that ‘an unjust law is no law at all.’”

He added that a just law can sometimes be applied unjustly, and that how one violates a law matters:

“Sometimes a law is just on its face and unjust in its application. For instance, I have been arrested on a charge of parading without a permit. Now, there is nothing wrong in having an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade. But such an ordinance becomes unjust when it is used to maintain segregation and to deny citizens the First-Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and protest.

I hope you are able to see the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.”

In addition, he pointed out that some of history’s most unjust acts were legal, while some of the most righteous acts were illegal:

“We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was ‘legal’ and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was ‘illegal.’ It was ‘illegal’ to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany. Even so, I am sure that, had I lived in Germany at the time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers. If today I lived in a Communist country where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I would openly advocate disobeying that country’s antireligious laws.”

One of the most important points King makes in this letter is how white moderates who put law and order over justice do as much, if not more, harm to the cause of justice as outright racists:

“I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: ‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action’; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a ‘more convenient season.’ Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.”

How about this bit about “the appalling silence of the good people”?

“We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”

And finally, some words about law and order and the role of the police in “preventing violence”:

“Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police force for keeping ‘order’ and ‘preventing violence.’ I doubt that you would have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen its dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I doubt that you would so quickly commend the policemen if you were to observe their ugly and inhumane treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you were to watch them push and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you were to see them slap and kick old Negro men and young boys; if you were to observe them, as they did on two occasions, refuse to give us food because we wanted to sing our grace together. I cannot join you in your praise of the Birmingham police department…

I wish you had commended the Negro sit inners and demonstrators of Birmingham for their sublime courage, their willingness to suffer and their amazing discipline in the midst of great provocation. One day the South will recognize its real heroes.”

As King’s daughter, Bernice, pointed out on his birthday, January 15, “The authentic, comprehensive King makes power uneasy & privilege unhinged.” Such a description makes one wonder how Dr. King would be regarded today if he had lived and continued to directly call out the racial injustice that still exists in our society.

  • French toast isn’t actually French. How the ancient frugal meal got its contradictory name.
    Photo credit: CanvaFrench toast, left, and a man wearing a beret and striped shirt.

    We all know and love the fluffy, sweet, decadent taste of French toast. But what many of us don’t know is that it’s about as authentic to French cuisine as chicken parm is to Italian cuisine. In fact, the dish predates the country entirely. 

    From ancient Rome to your breakfast plate

    The earliest known recipe goes all the way back to ancient Rome. In a fourth-/fifth-century cookbook titled Apicius, you’ll find instructions for making Aliter Dulcia (“another sweet dish”), as it was called back then, which involved soaking white bread in a milk-and-egg mixture, frying it, then covering it with honey.

    According to some sources, this iteration of French toast was considered a luxury food intended for the wealthy. Only “fine white bread” with the “crusts removed” would be used. 

    However, fast-forward to Medieval Europe, and the dish served slightly more practical purposes. It not only revived otherwise stale and useless bread in a time when food really couldn’t go to waste, but the eggs used in the dish also provided necessary protein. 

    During this time period, the dish went by many names, but French toast wasn’t one of them. Germans called it “eggy bread,” the Irish called it “gypsy toast,” and the English called it “poor knights,” referring to its economical ingredients. Even the French called it pain perdu, or “lost bread.”

    Below, Max Miller of Tasting History recreated Suppa Dorata (often translated as “Golden Soup” or “Golden Sippets”), essentially the 15th-century Italian version of French toast, featuring a rich, crispy texture flavored with saffron and rose water rather than maple syrup or honey.

    The accidental birth of “French toast”

    Astoundingly, the term French toast actually refers to an American…an American who could have benefited from autocorrect. 

    As legend has it, in 1724, New York innkeeper Joseph French advertised it as “French toast” when he meant to call it “French’s toast.” A simple grammatical error became immortalized forever. 

    It seems, though, that French toast wouldn’t become America’s go-to name until World War I. Before then, it was called “German toast.” But when all things German became taboo, a name attributed to an Allied country seemed more befitting.

    Sidenote: Some might recall that in 2003, the United States was trying to rebrand French toast as “freedom toast,” similar to “freedom fries” instead of “French fries.” It did not catch on. 

    Breakfast, dessert, or something else entirely?

    Even after the name French toast stuck, people couldn’t agree on which meal it belonged to. As Miller explained, some felt it was best suited for lunch, while others thought it should be an after-dinner dessert. It wasn’t until 1866, when Godey’s Magazine (which brought us “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and that little holiday known as Thanksgiving) dubbed it an “excellent” breakfast choice, “equal to waffles.” Bold statement, indeed!

    Today, French toast still goes by countless other names and variations. In several countries, it’s a savory dish. In India, it’s served with spices, green chilis, onions, and even ketchup. Similarly, Italy places mozzarella between the bread slices before dipping them in eggs and frying them. Meanwhile, in places like Brazil and Spain, where it’s called “rabanadas” and “torrijas,” respectively, it’s served on special holidays like Christmas or Lent.

    @daenskitchen

    Torrijas (Spanish French toast). Full recipe over on my website!

    ♬ sonido original – Vibes by Ley

    No matter what you call it, this enduring dish is far more magical than it appears at first glance, carrying not only delicious comfort but also centuries of history in every bite.

  • An American in Paris explains European ‘bridge holidays’ and people are fascinated

    Photo credit: Canva Photos

    The Eiffel Tower, left, and a family at the beach.

    It’s no secret that work culture in Europe is a lot different from what it is in the United States. Europeans often get more time off and work fewer hours overall. Even so, you have to really live there to understand just how different things are.

    Justyn Lee is doing exactly that. He is an American living and working in Paris, and even he was surprised after moving there to discover a few new things about the work culture. One major takeaway? In France, the month of May barely exists.

    American living in Paris explains “le pont”

    In a LinkedIn post, Lee explains that France has four official holidays in the month of May. That’s kind of a lot, but not totally unusual compared to what Americans are used to. In November, we have Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, while in January there’s New Year’s Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day. In France, there’s Labour Day, Victory in Europe Day, Ascension Thursday, and Whit Monday.

    However, he notes that “France does not operate on days. It operates on proximity.”

    Lee then explains something called “le pont,” which means “the bridge.” Whenever a holiday, or a day off from work, lands in the middle of the week, most companies just go ahead and make “the days in between disappear.”

    Americans are familiar with “the bridge” in a few scenarios. Most businesses are closed the Friday after Thanksgiving, for example. But in France, while it’s not legally mandated, it’s culturally accepted that most holidays turn into a four-day weekend.

    Lee says people take this opportunity to travel, go on vacation, or rest, only occasionally checking in on work. “Let’s circle back in June” is a common refrain.

    “May is not a month,” he writes. “C’est la vie.”

    It’s not just France that likes to stretch its holiday weekends

    The concept of “bridge holidays” is almost universal across European and Latin American work cultures. It exists under different names in France, Germany (Brückentage), Spain (hacer puente), Brazil (imprensar/emendar/enforcar), and more.

    There are tons of reasons for this extremely liberal vacation policy. European and Latin American countries have strong labor unions that protect workers’ rights, and most have universal healthcare, which lowers the economic pressures associated with working.

    Though bridge holidays and large amounts of paid time off are not completely universal, the U.S. does seem to be in the minority by not participating.

    How do countries like France keep the “trains running,” so to speak, in the month of May and other months full of holidays? Essential services are often still open, as are shops and small businesses in big cities like Paris. Tourism workers may not get such an extended break at the same time, since everyone is vacationing. But otherwise, typical office workers have a cultural agreement that non-urgent emails and meetings can simply…wait.

    Europeans chime in with a knowing nod

    Lee’s post struck a chord on LinkedIn, where dozens of commenters were eager to share their thoughts.

    “Love this post!” Marta Pastoriza Ares commented. “Haha Something veeery similar happens in Spain as well, and we also call it ‘hacer puente’ (bridging those bank holidays with the days ‘in between’). A culture trait I refuse to leave behind. Not ever!”

    “Very similar approach in Brazil when it comes to holidays,” Carolina O. Fraiel said. “We call it ‘imprensar’ (to squeeze), ’emendar’ (to connect) and ‘enforcar’ (to choke). And all it means is that people hope for holidays on Tuesdays and Thursdays to make the most of it.”

    “Very, very similar in Germany, we even also call those days between holidays and weekends ‘Brückentage’ (bridge days),” Alexander Lichanow said. “I would love to see US hustlebros froth and fume over this blatant disregard for grind culture.”

    Shahana Shaikh was fascinated by the unwritten rules in action: “Interesting how work culture isn’t just rules it’s the unwritten norms people quietly follow. Sometimes, without anything being formally announced, everyone just aligns around a shared rhythm. It shows that culture isn’t what’s written in policy, but what people actually practice every day.”

    And finally, Tim McNerney drew a humorous parallel to life in the U.S.: “European AE: Right guys, it’s July 31st. I’ll see you in September. Out of office is on. Leaving my work laptop at home. Don’t try and contact me. American AE: kidney surgery is tomorrow. Bring the docusigns by my bed, and I’ll make sure we get the red lines covered before they put me under. I should be good for the on-site the next morning too.”

    Americans in the comments were a bit flabbergasted to learn the meaning behind “le pont.” But would bridge holidays even work in America?

    Without federally mandated paid time off and some major changes to the cultural infrastructure, probably not. Americans also tend to get higher salaries than their European counterparts, and they like it that way.

    But that’s not to say that it’s all doom and gloom for overworked Americans.

    After COVID-19 and the work-from-home boom, many workers have found themselves with more flexibility than their office jobs previously allowed. In addition to formal “bridges” around Thanksgiving and Christmas, it’s become more normal for workplaces to be “quiet” around the holidays or during certain stretches of the summer.

    This understanding could become even more normalized in the coming years.

    The key thing that makes it work in France, though, is the social contract. There’s an unspoken agreement that life is more important than work, and things that aren’t urgent are sometimes going to have to wait. It’s an approach that we could, and probably should, adopt a little more of here at home.

  • Young woman surprises 87-year-old neighbor who lives alone by paying off his hearing aid bill
    https://www.tiktok.com/@julissa.and.delmar/photo/7600874367303634189Julissa Gomez and husband Anthony befriended neighbor Delmar Harter.
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    Young woman surprises 87-year-old neighbor who lives alone by paying off his hearing aid bill

    “He’s definitely not just our neighbor anymore, he’s family,” Julissa Gomez tells Upworthy.

    Julissa Gomez, 28, and Delmar Harter, 87, are unlikely best friends, but it’s a bond that’s been building for a decade.

    “We met Delmar over 10 years ago when my parents bought their home in 2015,” Julissa tells Upworthy. “At first, our relationship was taking him to church and sharing meals here and there. But over time, we noticed that he was often alone during holidays and birthdays.”

    Over the years, Julissa and Delmar have been through many ups and downs of life together that has made their friendship stronger.

    “Delmar showed up for us in one of the hardest moments of our lives when my father passed away [in 2020], and that kind of kindness says everything about who he is. He’s definitely not just our neighbor anymore, he’s family,” she adds.

    Delmar’s hearing aids are paid off

    Gomez was able to surprise Delmar with the good news. Thanks to the success of the children’s book they wrote together called The Friendship Next Door with Delmar (published in 2025), was able to pay off his costly hearing aids. Gomez shared an emotional video on social media, with Delmar wiping tears from his eyes.

    “His reaction was very emotional,” she tells Upworthy. “He was so grateful and honestly a bit overwhelmed. Seeing that joy and relief on his face reminded us exactly why we started all of this. It was a really special moment for all of us.”

    With years of friendship under their belt, the pair wanted to share their story in a book that “encourages kids and people of all ages to be kinder and try to get to know your neighbors,” Julissa adds. 

    The goal was to help raise money to support Delmar’s living expenses and health needs.

    “We are so happy to now say that the book is now helping with his living expenses and things like his hearing aids,” she says. “Before he would just rely on his social security check, but now because of the power of the Internet his bills are all paid for.”

    How Julissa and Delmar became family

    When they first met in 2015, Julissa and her family embraced Delmar entirely.

    “We made it a point to start celebrating those days with him. After so many years of holidays, birthdays, and any special occasion that we celebrated together we then welcomed him into our family, and he truly became a part of it.” she shares.

    Julissa also notes that, “Delmar never married and his family live in other states, so we are the closest family he has now.”

    Julissa’s husband, Anthony, has also become close with Delmar.

    “After my dad passed away in 2020, my husband Anthony stepped in and took on a big role in continuing the love and care we had built as a family. Since then, my husband and Delmar have formed such a special bond. They are best of friends.”

    Julissa hopes that her friendship with Delmar can inspire others.

    “If there’s one thing we want people to take away, it’s that kindness doesn’t have to be big to make an impact,” she says. “Simply showing up for someone, especially during the times they feel most alone, can truly change a life.”

    Viewers respond

    Many people were touched by Julissa and Delmar’s friendship, as well as the good news of Delmar’s hearing aids being paid off:

    “I love him so so so much truly your story is the BEST.”

    “As a millennial grown woman that never saw any of my grandparents maternal or paternal this is a gem. You’re so blessed to have found a soul needing of love and attention.”

    “Oh now I’m cryingggg.”

    “I know his mama looking down on you with so much love for taking care of her baby boy ❤️.”

    “Something about an older man tearing up 🥹.”

    “😭😭😭 I can’t stop crying. I’m happy that Grandpa Delmar is happy. Damn I’m just thankful he found the both of you.”

  • The real inspiration for ‘Beauty and the Beast’ is far more heartbreaking than the fairytale
    Photo credit: Wikimedia CommonsPetrus Gonsalvus and his wife, Catherine, left, and a solo portrait of Petrus Gonsalvus.
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    The real inspiration for ‘Beauty and the Beast’ is far more heartbreaking than the fairytale

    Beneath the legend was a family navigating lives shaped by exploitation.

    Beauty and the Beast is a fairytale-turned-Disney movie that virtually everyone on the planet is familiar with. But very few know that it was said to be based on a true—and deeply tragic—story.

    A boy taken from his home

    In 1537, at just 10 years old, a boy named Pedro Gonzalez was taken from his home in the Canary Islands and presented to King Henry II of France as a novelty gift because of his genetic condition, known today as congenital hypertrichosis, which causes the entire body to be covered in hair.

    Despite his “wild” appearance, Gonzalez seemed docile, inspiring the king to experiment with turning the supposed savage into a gentleman under the revised Latin name Petrus Gonsalvus.

    Gonsalvus grew up to be an educated, respected member of the court. At least, as respected as a man with his condition could be. However, there would be one more experiment awaiting him.

    Petrus Gonsalvus. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

    That moment would arrive in his twenties, after his protector, Henry II, died in a jousting accident on July 10, 1559. Ownership of him now belonged to the infamously cruel Catherine de Medici.

    Medici arranged a marriage between Gonsalvus and another Catherine without ever mentioning her soon-to-be husband’s condition to the bride.

    Petrus Gonsalvus and his wife Catherine by Joris Hoefnagel. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

    The family that became a spectacle

    Hypertrichosis has dominant traits and therefore easily passes down to children, which the Gonsalvus family soon discovered. The pair had seven children, four of whom were covered in hair.

    It wasn’t long before the “wild family” became a traveling sideshow of sorts, fascinating onlookers, painters, scientists, and nobles throughout Europe. Portraits of the family circulated among royal courts, where they were studied less as people and more as curiosities. Sadly, the Gonsalvuses would eventually be separated as, much like their father, several of the children were sold or gifted away as oddities.

    Children of Petrus Gonsalvus by Joris Hoefnagel. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

    Gonsalvus and his wife died within six years of each other, in 1618 and 1623, respectively, in Italy, though their graves were never located.

    How their story may have shaped a classic fairytale

    Fast forward to 1740, when a French author by the name of Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve published La Belle et la Bête (French for Beauty and the Beast) in a collection of stories titled La Jeune Américaine et les contes marins (The Young American and Marine Tales).

    While Villeneuve never explicitly confirmed Gonsalvus as an inspiration, historians have pointed out striking similarities between the real-life family and the famous tale: a gentle, intelligent man judged almost entirely for his appearance; a woman unexpectedly placed into a marriage she did not choose; and a relationship that slowly grew through familiarity and understanding.

    The Disney version then transformed the story into one filled with singing teacups, enchanted castles, and a hopeful ending. As we now know, the real history behind it paints a far sadder picture of how society once treated people who looked outside the norm.

    Centuries later, the story of Petrus Gonsalvus continues to fascinate people because it reveals just how easily humanity can blur the line between curiosity and cruelty. Beneath the legend, the paintings, and the fairytale comparisons was simply a family navigating lives shaped by exploitation they never asked for.

  • Fashion expert explains why ‘survival bias’ makes it seem like 19th century Victorian gowns were much smaller than they were
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman in the 19th century.


    It’s often fascinating how history is written. Perhaps it’s not for nefarious reasons, but it can lead to misconceptions about the reality of the past. From history to art to fashion, we see through certain filters often applied without us knowing.

    Fashion historian Dr. Serena Dyer has become popular online for sharing what clothing trends looked like decade by decade through the centuries. In a recent clip posted to social media, she shares a video of a 19th century gown with a thirty-nine inch waist. She points out that despite often seeing much smaller garments from this time period, larger ones were actually quite as common.

    Thirty-nine inch waist

    Dyer explains why this phenomenon happens. “This Victorian gown has a thirty-nine inch waist,” she begins. “And in the 19th century, this was not uncommon. Survival bias means that garments with enough fabric to be remade were recycled or worn as fancy dress. But tiny garments that were too small to be re-worn were disproportionately preserved in our attics and museum collections.”

    We zoom in on the exquisite brown silk garment. “This chocolate brown silk gown from 1864 in the collection of Bankfield Museum is a rare, glorious exception. Its large skirt, supported by a crinoline, and curvy bust supported the Victorian emphasis on proportion over tininess. So let’s stop pretending that the eighteen-inch waist was the standard and start accepting that bodies of all shapes and sizes have always existed.”

    The clip delighted some of the commenters. One Facebooker wrote, “Love this!! I adore the dresses from the era and have always thought, thank goodness I did not live back then, those dresses would look awful on me. Now I see they are just as beautiful in normal sizes!!”

    Survival bias

    In the piece, “Understanding Survival Bias in Vintage Plus-Size Clothing”, licensed aesthetician, makeup artist, massage therapist, and fashion expert who goes by Christine “The Glambassador,” explains what survival bias is and gives an example, unrelated to fashion. “Survival bias occurs when we form conclusions based only on what has lasted over time while overlooking everything that didn’t survive. A classic example of this comes from WWII, when statistician Abraham Wald analyzed bullet holes on returning planes. The military initially thought they should reinforce the areas that had been hit, but Wald realized they were only looking at the planes that made it back—meaning the planes that didn’t return were likely hit in the areas without visible damage.”

    She then reiterates what Dyer posted in her clip: “How does this relate to vintage plus-size fashion? The reality is that plus-size garments were often worn more frequently, handed down to younger family members, or altered over time, meaning they simply didn’t survive as well as their smaller counterparts. Unlike smaller garments, which were often stored away and preserved, larger garments had a higher likelihood of being used until they were unwearable.”

    1930s

    On “The Glambassador”‘s YouTube page one person shared a similar bias from the 1930s in the comments, writing, “I have a quilt made in the 1930s by my great-grandmother from the scraps of clothing during the 1930s. She told us that it was cheaper to cut down outgrown childrens’ clothing and make quilt than it was to buy a new blanket at the time. So, yeah, that was also something that happened to clothing at the time – remaking garments into quilts, throws, or even toweling.”

    “Curation is an art form”

    In a 2024 paper for New York University Gallatin School of Individualized Study, one student writer explains that relics of fashion or art in general are not only selection-biased, but often at the whim of the curators. “The priorities within museum curatorship dangerously contribute to our connection with the past by utilizing a limited selection of women’s garments to represent a general population. Curation is an art form. A curator’s choices can shape how visitors understand a topic or time period. Deciding what to display and where to place it creates a narrative of the topic the exhibition delves into, all for visitors to interpret as they explore each piece of art.”

  • Millennial asks Gen Zers what they do for fun, and the answers are surprisingly different
    Every generation has it's own flavor of fun.

    The coming-of-age era known as your twenties are a time for experimentation, branching out, learning about different aspects of yourself, and of course, having stupid fun.

    Of course, every generation‘s definition of fun varies. Just what might Gen Zers, those who navigated their teenhood through TikTok and basically came of drinking age during a global pandemic, do to elicit feelings of fun?

    Millennial content creator Ashley Tea wondered this very thing. In a video that went viral on TikTok in late 2023, she shared “I genuinely think millennials got to have a way better time than Gen Z does.”

    Millennials are already nostalgic about their glory days

    Tea then reminisced about her own experience of being “an emo kid in 2005,” going out to clubs, bars, and restaurants with her friends having a “fun, great, trashy” time.

    That simply wouldn’t be financially feasible in today’s economic landscape, Tea noted, leaving her “mystified” as to how today’s college-age adults might enjoy themselves.

    So again, Tea posed the question: “it’s a Friday night, a Saturday night…What do you do? Where do you go?”

    Gen Z’s answers to this question were eye-opening

    The responses to Tea’s question were illuminating, to say the least, and certainly different than how she spent her early 20s.

    For starters, Tea’s joke about “Gen Zers not having any fun at all” rang true for many people of that age group.

    “As a 23 year old: I don’t have any fun, hope that helps!” quipped one person.

    Another joked, “sometimes I sit outside if I’m feeling extra.”

    gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials

    One obvious factor behind this is finances. With everything being far more expensive, many Gen Zers simply cannot afford to have a social life that resembles earlier generations.

    “As a 21 year old, the economy makes it difficult to have fun that way, I work 40 hours weekly and I’m either too tired or can’t afford it,” one person wrote.

    Another reason, which isn’t maybe as obvious, is surveillance. Tea noted that a lot of young people said that since either of their “parents can track their phones everywhere,” they are deterred from doing things that could get them into trouble. Perhaps that’s a win for safety, but there is something to be said about excessive levels of control.

    Then of course there’s the pandemic, which sucked the fun out of everything big time

    “I got ROBBED of my early 20s bs COVID started when I was 22 Nwo things are normal but all the good bars and clubs in my area didn’t survive the lockdown,” one person wrote.

    Plus, there’s a lack of third places to gather, leaving very little options beside staying home and scrolling on TikTok.

    So what does Gen Z actually do for fun?

    However, it’s not all gloom and doom, Tea discovered.

    For one thing, Gen Zers don’t “glorify binge drinking” nearly as much as Millennials and Gen Xers. According to recent research, Gen Z is drinking significantly less than previous generations, with nearly two-thirds planning to cut back or abstain entirely.Part of this comes down to Gen Z prioritizing health and wellness more than previous generations, and another part is the cost.

    When Gen Zers do actually have fun, it tends to lean towards more wholesome activities, like house parties (sometimes even themed house parties) and crocheting. Lots and lots crocheting apparently.

    Grocery stores are the new clubs.

    gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials

    Then there’s self care, which genuinely is fun:

    gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials

    Love that self care is considered entertainment these days.

    As promised, crocheting and taking care of one’s body are really all the rage with Gen Z:

    gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials

    Fitness groups are a new way people are finding friends.

    And who doesn’t love a good coffee shop?

    gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials

    Though of course, hanging out in coffee shops isn’t exactly anything new.

    Gen Z will be just fine

    So maybe things look quite a bit different for Gen Z than Millennials or other generations.

    That’s not entirely a good or bad thing, and it’s definitely to be expected in some ways. The struggle of rising costs and limited opportunities to form connections and have fun are undeniably issues that must be addressed. But the fact that Gen Zers are leaning into their creativity is worth noting too. If nothing else, it makes it clear that even though it might not look like it, there is still fun to be had.

    Now, I wonder what Gen Alpha’s young adult fun will look like in a few year’s time? If their slang is any indicator, it’s going to be weird.

    @damonsharpe

    Gen Alpha Slang the complete guide 🤓 all our viral videos in one! The latest slang at the end! #genalpha #genalphaslang @Charlie Belle

    ♬ Gucci Lemonade – Damon Sharpe & AXON & Kirsten Collins

    We’ll get back to you on that. But, honestly, more power to them.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Mister Rogers’ crew once pranked him during his opening song. His reaction was so very him.
    Mr. Rogers went to put on his shoes and found they didn't fit.

    Fred Rogers was truly one of humanity’s greats, in every sense that counts most. He wasn’t a titan of industry or a builder of empires. He wasn’t a man of great means or a wielder of political power. He was humble, gentle, and kind. He was a teacher, a learner, and a leader in his own way.

    For generations of children, he was a consistent voice of compassion, curiosity, and caring. He was a calm haven in our television set, a safe space where we always knew we were loved just the way we are.

    And yet he was strong, too, just not in the way we often think of strength. He was a fierce defender of children and a champion of justice. His testimony before Congress about public television totally turned around the sentiments of a senator who was extremely skeptical before Rogers started speaking. He wasn’t forceful and he didn’t yell or cry; he just shared his feelings, indicated his trust in the senator’s conscience, and explained the value of quality children’s television programming in a way that was impossible to disregard.

    Watch:


    No one could deny the wholesome awesomeness of Rogers. He was the real thing, tried and true, through and through and the world misses him greatly.

    He was exactly the same off camera

    It’s quite well known that Rogers was the same man off-screen as he was on his show, and a video of his cast and crew pranking him once during his opening song offers a bit of delightful proof.

    Watch:


    Seriously, he was the most delightful human. His laugh when he sticks his foot in the second shoe. Priceless. His “Thanks ever so much” was epic.

    The internet can’t get enough of this clip

    People have responded to the video on Reddit with gushing praise.

    “Mr. Rogers thanking that man for a delightful practical joke just changed something in me for the better,” wrote one commenter. “Off to go thank my husband for some stuff.”

    “What a magical person that just a clip of him having a laugh is making me well up,” wrote another.

    “My childhood was a scary place but when I turned on Mr. Roger’s, it all disappeared for awhile,” shared another. “Thank you for being a light to so many children. May you Rest In Peace.”

    “An amazing human being and an utterly sweet person,” wrote another. “We should all aspire to be the person Mr. Rogers knew we could be.”

    Indeed, we should.

    Even Candid Camera couldn’t rattle him

    Fred Rogers’ response to the prank was not only a look into his kind and gentle character, but his consistency as well. In a 1998 episode of the prank show, Candid Camera, host Peter Funt played a prank on Rogers and he responded just as kindly and wholesomely as he did before. Rogers is staying in a hotel while attending a PBS conference where he will be the keynote speaker. Hoping to frustrate him, Funt (as a bellhop) relays to Rogers that his room has no TV (that’s the gag!). Instead of responding with annoyance, however, Rogers surprises Funt and viewers by kindly saying he “doesn’t use the television anyway” and has “enough TV in [his] life.”

    The interaction is as sweet and kind as Fred Rogers always was.

    Watch:

    The shoe prank outtake can be found on the Mister Rogers Neighborhood website, which also houses tons of content about the show, the neighbors, the puppets, and Fred Rogers himself. They also upload five full, new episodes every other Monday for fans to enjoy. The first Monday of the month features episodes from the early years (1968-1975), and the third Monday of the month features episodes from the “Theme Weeks” (1979-2001). Fans can also watch Mister Rogers Neighborhood on PBS Kids,Pluto TV, and Prime Video.

    There may be many wonderful people who walk this earth, but there will never be another Fred Rogers. What a precious gift that we have so many hours of him on film to enjoy and share with generations to come.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

  • Wisconsin teen delivers on lifelong promise to take his grandma to prom
    Photo credit: WQAD News 8 on YouTubeAvant Williams kept a promise he made back when he was a toddler.

    When Avant Williams was just a toddler, he made a promise to his grandma, Svala Heller. While sweet, promises from kids around age two aren’t expected to be kept. But now in his junior year of high school, Williams kept his 14-year-old promise and took his grandmother to his prom.

    “Since I was like a little kid, my grandma’s been telling me she wanted to go to prom. It’s her dream, and then today I just feel like I should make that come true,” Williams said to KBTX News through WXWO. 

    Grandma’s first prom experience

    “She didn’t have a prom, so then my junior year of prom she told me I have to take her, so that’s why we’re here,” Williams said with a big smile.

    Heller grew up in Iceland where high school proms aren’t common. However, she was intrigued and loved the idea from years of watching American television. Many shows she watched featured the extravagance of the high school dance.

    “I’ve always wanted to go to a prom,” said Heller. “Watching American TV and all that glamour that goes with it, and you know, for 14 years he’s been saying, ‘Yeah, one day I will take you to prom.’”

    Williams enjoyed having his grandma as his prom date alongside his best friend, Ruben Smith. After having dinner together, all suited and dressed to the nines, they went to the La Crosse Central High School prom in Wisconsin. 

    “I was definitely excited,” said Williams. “I mean, I’ve only been looking up to this moment since I was like two years old. So, like it’s a big deal for my grandma, and it’s like I feel very special that I can take her to this prom.”

    Grandson and grandmother’s big dance

    Heller got to have everything about prom she dreamed about. Posing for pictures with Williams and his friends, dancing, and everything else the American teens she saw on television experienced. Only for Heller, it was even better enjoying it with her loving grandson.

    “It’s so special,” said Heller. “We have such a special bond. I’m just taking every, every inch in and just enjoying every moment.”

    Being her grandson’s prom date won’t just be a wonderful memory for Heller, but a lasting one for Williams.

    “It means the world to me. Like, I love my grandma. She’s been there for me like my whole life. I’m just happy I can make her dream come true,” he said.

    @jos1ahg

    She dident go when she was younger 💔💔❤️‍🩹#TopGunMode #greenscreenvideo #fyp #LIKEABOMBSHELL

    ♬ Grillz – Nelly

    Other grandson/grandmother prom pairings

    Over the years, there have been other grandsons who have taken their grandmothers to the big high school dance. In 2014,  Ohio teen Austin Dennison took his 89-year-old great-grandmother “Granny DD” to his prom because she couldn’t afford to go when she was a high schooler. South Carolina student Connor Campbell took his 93-year-old grandmother to his prom in 2017. In 2022, North Dakota student Dakota Wollen took his great-grandmother to what was both his and her first prom.

    @calov.1

    in 2014, Austin Dennison made a choice most wouldn’t think of. instead of a typical prom date— he invited someone special. his great-grandmother, Delores Dennison. at her age, it wasn’t just another night out. it was her first prom. something she never had in the 1940s, when life—and its limitations— took that moment away from her. but that night, everything changed. they shared dinner. laughed. stepped onto the dance floor together. and as the music played— a song her late husband once sang— it became more than just a dance. it became a memory, a bridge between past and present. a moment she had waited a lifetime for. and when the room saw them… they stood. a standing ovation. because sometimes, the most beautiful gestures aren’t about grand plans— they’re about giving someone a moment they thought they’d never have. dm to share your story with us ❤️ #calov #wholesome #family #love #storytelling

    ♬ suono originale – sardiniaworld

    Traditionally, prom is a ritual to celebrate that current generation before they get into adulthood. It can create lasting fond memories as that teen grows into adulthood. However, based on Williams, Heller, and other grandson-grandmother prom pairings, it can also create wonderful family memories, too.

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