Before you share an MLK quote, understand that you’re quoting a proud political radical

Every year around Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, social media feeds get flooded with memes bearing Dr. King’s face and words—snapshots of the man with a snippet of his message, wrapped neatly in a square package, easily digested by the masses. We get bombarded by the “not by the color of their skin, but by…

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ArrayPhoto credit: Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

Every year around Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, social media feeds get flooded with memes bearing Dr. King’s face and words—snapshots of the man with a snippet of his message, wrapped neatly in a square package, easily digested by the masses.

We get bombarded by the “not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” quote we all know and love. We get hit with “darkness cannot drive out darkness” memes that keep us feeling cozy in our comfort zones. We see “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear,” over and over, and nod our heads in placid agreement. People of all stripes share MLK quotes that give us all the warm fuzzies, and we think, “Wow, what an amazing, peaceful, universally beloved man.”


But there are two big problems with such memes.

1) Sharing one or two sentences drastically dilutes Dr. King’s legacy, turning his core message into a socially neutral, politically palatable, let’s-all-hold-hands-and-skip-together philosophy—one that challenges no one and betrays the radical reality of his work.

2) Such a whitewashing of King’s message enables people to share his words in a way that actually upholds or overlooks the very injustices he was trying to fight.

RELATED: Steve Bannon claimed MLK would be proud of Trump. King’s daughter shut him down.

For example, I’ve seen people say that people should be “judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” as an argument against Affirmative Action-type programs. I’ve seen people say “hate cannot drive out hate” while mischaracterizing a calling out of racial injustice as hatred. I’ve seen people quote King’s “I have a dream” speech while asserting that talking about racism just perpetuates racism—an assertion King simply didn’t abide.

People frequently twist King’s words to fit their worldview, and in doing so, dishonor the man and his fight for true justice. The radical nature of his message seems to have been watered down into what people think he was—a gentle leader who advocated a non-violent approach to fighting for equality—instead of what he actually was—a passionate disrupter who constantly pushed boundaries and pulled no punches when calling out injustices of all kinds. Many Americans today would undoubtedly call him a “race-baiter” at best, and an “extremist thug” at worst.

We mustn’t forget that King was considered a radical and a criminal, by both the U.S. government and much of mainstream America, during his lifetime. At the height of his activism, nearly two-thirds of Americans had an unfavorable opinion of King. And that disapproval didn’t just come from the openly racist South. After being hit with a rock at a desegregation march in Chicago, King remarked, “I have seen many demonstrations in the South, but I have never seen anything so hostile and so hateful as I’ve seen here today.”

King had strong words for those of us who think we’re not racist. When I first read King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail—his response to a group of clergymen who agreed with his antiracism sentiments but criticized his “extreme” methods—I was blown away. I remember thinking that my education about Dr. King had been sorely lacking, that I’d never learned how much criticism he’d faced and how frequently he was considered an extremist by white moderates, and that I had no idea how he had directly challenged white Americans of goodwill. (In other words, people like me.)

The least we can do to honor King’s life is to go beyond popular one-liners, take the time to read one of his most important works, and to meditate on the challenges he presented to us. You can read King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail in its entirety here, but I’ve included some excerpts below that highlight some of its main points.

For example, this passage explaining how peaceful activism doesn’t mean avoiding tension and crisis:

“You may well ask: ‘Why direct action? Why sit ins, marches and so forth? Isn’t negotiation a better path?’ You are quite right in calling for negotiation. Indeed, this is the very purpose of direct action. Nonviolent direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored. My citing the creation of tension as part of the work of the nonviolent resister may sound rather shocking. But I must confess that I am not afraid of the word ‘tension.’ I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth. Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood. The purpose of our direct action program is to create a situation so crisis packed that it will inevitably open the door to negotiation.”

RELATED: Ad execs probably should have read the full MLK speech before making that commercial.

Or this passage about the “timing” of taking action against injustice:

“We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was ‘well timed’ in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word ‘Wait!’ It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This ‘Wait’ has almost always meant ‘Never.’ We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that ‘justice too long delayed is justice denied.’”

Many people who praise Dr. King would have called him a criminal if he were still alive today, as he advocated breaking unjust laws:

“One may well ask: ‘How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?’ The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that ‘an unjust law is no law at all.’”

He added that a just law can sometimes be applied unjustly, and that how one violates a law matters:

“Sometimes a law is just on its face and unjust in its application. For instance, I have been arrested on a charge of parading without a permit. Now, there is nothing wrong in having an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade. But such an ordinance becomes unjust when it is used to maintain segregation and to deny citizens the First-Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and protest.

I hope you are able to see the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.”

In addition, he pointed out that some of history’s most unjust acts were legal, while some of the most righteous acts were illegal:

“We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was ‘legal’ and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was ‘illegal.’ It was ‘illegal’ to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany. Even so, I am sure that, had I lived in Germany at the time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers. If today I lived in a Communist country where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I would openly advocate disobeying that country’s antireligious laws.”

One of the most important points King makes in this letter is how white moderates who put law and order over justice do as much, if not more, harm to the cause of justice as outright racists:

“I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: ‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action’; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a ‘more convenient season.’ Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.”

How about this bit about “the appalling silence of the good people”?

“We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”

And finally, some words about law and order and the role of the police in “preventing violence”:

“Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police force for keeping ‘order’ and ‘preventing violence.’ I doubt that you would have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen its dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I doubt that you would so quickly commend the policemen if you were to observe their ugly and inhumane treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you were to watch them push and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you were to see them slap and kick old Negro men and young boys; if you were to observe them, as they did on two occasions, refuse to give us food because we wanted to sing our grace together. I cannot join you in your praise of the Birmingham police department…

I wish you had commended the Negro sit inners and demonstrators of Birmingham for their sublime courage, their willingness to suffer and their amazing discipline in the midst of great provocation. One day the South will recognize its real heroes.”

As King’s daughter, Bernice, pointed out on his birthday, January 15, “The authentic, comprehensive King makes power uneasy & privilege unhinged.” Such a description makes one wonder how Dr. King would be regarded today if he had lived and continued to directly call out the racial injustice that still exists in our society.

  • Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits and, just like that, early 2000s pouf hairstyles are everywhere again
    Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits.Photo credit: TikTok/@katie.org (with permission)
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    Gen Z has fallen in love with Bumpits and, just like that, early 2000s pouf hairstyles are everywhere again

    Gen Z is obsessed with the 2000s and 2010s, which they’ve labeled the “last era of sweet delusion.” They’ve also latched onto a number of Millennial fashion trends, including low-rise jeans. There’s no doubt that Gen Z has established plenty of its own fashion trends, from suits with shorts to barrel jeans. But the generation…

    Gen Z is obsessed with the 2000s and 2010s, which they’ve labeled the “last era of sweet delusion.” They’ve also latched onto a number of Millennial fashion trends, including low-rise jeans.

    There’s no doubt that Gen Z has established plenty of its own fashion trends, from suits with shorts to barrel jeans. But the generation is also embracing a ’00s hair trend that has Millennials shook: the hair pouf, a bubbly bouffant style popularized by celebrities like Laguna Beach star Lauren Conrad and Jersey Shore standout Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.

    Now, Gen Z is getting a little extra help from one iconic volumizing hair accessory: Bumpits.

    Gen Z is bringing back Bumpits

    On TikTok, many Gen Zers are showing off the results of their 2000s hair transformations using Bumpits. Inspired by French actress Brigitte Bardot’s legendary bouffant style, Gen Z is also putting its own twist on how it uses Bumpits.

    Hairstylist Stephanie Angelone told Bustle that Bumpits are coming back with Gen Z in a “more lax way.”

    @katie.org

    Replying to @emma liz this was a great way to start off the series and we should bring these back #fyp #hair #bumpit #asseenontv

    ♬ Yacht Club – MusicBox

    “Millennials used dozens of bobby pins to pin their pouf into place, which made it very defined, almost like an updo,” she said. “Gen Z prefers micro claw clips so it’s easy and effortless.”

    Gen Zers are documenting themselves trying out Bumpits in different styles, from half-up, half-down ‘dos to simple hair-down looks. Many note that it takes multiple tries to get it right, but once they do, they love the results.

    @abbimae_

    Bringing back the Bump It Take 2!! 🥲 any help would be greatly appreciated, I never had one as a child so I’m still learning 😂 #bumpit #bumpitup

    ♬ original sound – Abbi-Mae💌

    TikToker @blackhairedbrat noted, “While figuring out how to secure everything, I realized it’s essential to tease all the hair up to hide the Bump-It properly. Otherwise, it might lead to an embarrassing peek-a-boo of the hidden accessory!”

    Once she figured it out, she was a happy camper: “So far, I’d give this a solid 7 out of 10. It’s definitely something I would use, especially for those blessed with thick hair.”

    The history of Bumpits

    Bumpits were invented by Kelly Fitzpatrick-Bennett and made their debut in 2009 on the now-defunct As Seen on TV channel. Fitzpatrick-Bennett claims that more than 10 million units were sold.

    In an interview on Fran Drescher’s talk show, she explained that her career as a hairdresser inspired her to create Bumpits after clients came in wanting hair like Jennifer Aniston’s on Friends—but didn’t have the volume for it.

    Bumpits featured an over-the-top commercial with dramatic clips of women struggling to achieve volumized looks that seem to be cemented in Millennial memories.

    “Are you exhausted from dealing with flat, lifeless hairstyles? Do you find yourself using an entire can of hairspray just to achieve that voluminous look? It’s time to ‘bump it up’ with the iconic Bumpit!” the commercial said.

    Millennials react

    On Reddit, Millennials shared their personal experiences and funny stories wearing Bumpits back in the day:

    “Ooof, I totally used to use these 😬To be fair, I was in cosmetology school and that hairstyle was popular at the time. One Saturday a bunch of my classmates and I went out to a bar after school and I ran into a guy I had a HUGE crush on. He is extremely tall and when he bent down to give me a hug, his chin hit the bump-it HARD, it scratched his chin and rammed the bump-it into my scalp. Embarrassing and painful and I’m sure the reason we never dated. I stopped wearing them shortly after that, but I still have them around here somewhere.”

    “I felt indignant at the time that they didn’t make them for red hair…My perspective has changed somewhat in hindsight.”

    “I had one, didn’t work.”

    “Used these RELIGIOUSLY during the time ‘Jersey Shore’ was coming out. Even used one for my prom hair 😭😭😂😂.”

    “I could never get mine to not be visible. I have fine hair and had lots of it at the time, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get the blessed thing hidden completely.”

    “I still have mine 🤣🤣🤣.”

    “Being a HS cheerleader in 2008-2010 in the Midwest, these were EVERYTHING.”

    “This trend was so awful. It brings back hilarious memories.”

  • 12 times people completely misunderstood what an acronym or emoji actually means
    Online communication can result in some hilarious misunderstandings.Photo credit: Canva
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    12 times people completely misunderstood what an acronym or emoji actually means

    Communication has always been a hit-or-miss reality, even before the Internet. Misunderstandings, misreadings, and misinterpretations happen. But the age of emojis and online-only acronyms has opened up even more opportunities for miscommunication, sometimes resulting in mortifying hilarity. A thread on X highlights misuses of modern acronyms and emojis, largely revolving around the letter “F.” (Fair…

    Communication has always been a hit-or-miss reality, even before the Internet. Misunderstandings, misreadings, and misinterpretations happen. But the age of emojis and online-only acronyms has opened up even more opportunities for miscommunication, sometimes resulting in mortifying hilarity.

    A thread on X highlights misuses of modern acronyms and emojis, largely revolving around the letter “F.” (Fair warning here that many of these contain f-bombs.) It starts with someone who thought “JFC” stood for “just for clarification.”

    JFC ≠ Just For Clarification

    Imagine putting JFC in a professional email without knowing that the common meaning is “Jesus F____ing Christ.” As in, “JFC, we’ll go over that at our meeting next week.” Has a whole different feel, doesn’t it?

    LOL no longer means Lots of Love

    A super common acronym confusion is LOL. In modern online usage, it means “laugh out loud.” However, the acronym predates texting and social media. Traditionally, LOL was used to say “lots of love” at the end of a letter.

    Those two different usages create some very awkward interchanges, such as when a person responds with condolences: “So sorry for your loss. LOL”

    Hard Pass ≠ Hard to Pass on

    This one isn’t an acronym or emoji, but it has become a common slang term. In modern usage, “hard pass” means “Nope, nope, nopity nope. I immediately and absolutely do NOT want to do that thing.” So imagine how embarrassing it would be if you used “hard pass” to respond to a party invitation, thinking it meant, “It’s hard for me to pass on this, but I’m afraid I have to, so sorry.”

    Hopefully, the person receiving the “hard pass” RSVP knew the person well enough to know they may be confused about the phrase, because ouch.

    FTW = several things

    Sometimes an acronym takes hold in a specific time period or subgroup of people, then later takes hold with a whole different meaning.

    Enter “FTW.” Apparently, the punk rockers of the 80s and 90s would use FTW to mean “F___ The World.” But the acronym gained traction among online gamers to mean “For The Win.” The latter has since spilled over into popular culture, but for some folks, the older meaning still comes to mind first.

    However, there’s another FTW (usually written as F.T.W.) for bikers. Even that has more than one meaning, as some use it to mean “Forever Two Wheels” and others use it for “Forever Together Wherever.”

    WTF can be a minefield of misunderstanding

    Rearrange the letters of FTW and we have WTF, which has been a great source of confusion. The commonly understood (and most vulgar) usage is “What The F___.” But people have misread it or misunderstood it to mean various things, including:

    Why The Face?

    Welcome To Facebook!

    Where’s The Food?

    Well That’s Fantastic!

    WOW That’s Fantastic!

    One person shared a hilarious tale about that last one:

    “My kid told his 8th grade science teacher that WTF! written on his notebook was for ‘WOW! That’s Fantastic!’ The teacher was so excited to finally learn what it meant he was using it all the time! I swear this is the truth: he shouted ‘WTF!’ at a class tour at the Smithsonian. He graded tests & if kids got an A, he wrote WTF! At the top of their paper. He finally found out the other meaning and had to apologize to the whole school. My kid got a week detention.”

    F/U ≠ follow up (though it could)

    In a professional email, you can be pretty sure f/u stands for “follow-up.” But you can never be 100% sure…

    FFS is not the same as FCFS

    Sometimes, one letter makes a world of difference. FFS is generally understood to mean “For F___’s Sake.” Add a C to make FCFS, and you have “First Come First Served.”

    So yeah, using FFS instead of FCFS gives a Facebook Marketplace listing a whole different vibe.

    GFY ≠ Good For You (unfortunately)

    It’s the “F” that really gets people in trouble with the acronyms, isn’t it? At this point, it’s probably best to assume that any acronym that uses an F is potentially vulgar to avoid something embarrassing.

    For instance, it’s understandable that one might interpret GFY as “Good For YOU.” Wholesome and sweet and totally the opposite of the more commonly understood “Go F___ Yourself.” (Is there someone we can petition to change this one? Good For You is so much better.)

    Oh, the emojis

    People also shared ways emojis have been misunderstood and misused. For instance, the poop emoji looks an awful lot like chocolate softserve ice cream. Apparently, more than a few people have thought that’s what it was and used it in texts accordingly. Imagine the possibilities there.

    The tearful emojis have also been a source of confusion, with some people thinking the cry-laughing emoji is just crying. Imagine sending the cry-laugh emoji in a text expressing sorrow for someone’s loss.

    The size of emojis can make deciphering them a little tricky, which is why a couple of people thought the middle finger emoji was simply a pointer finger. Woops.

    And some emojis are simply confusing, period. No one seems to agree whether the two hands together emoji means praying hands or high five. And unfortunately, the search function doesn’t help because it comes up when you search “pray” and also when you search “high five.”

    Considering that entire wars have begun over miscommunications, it’s kind of important that we are generally on the same page about what things mean. But at least in the fast-changing era of online communications, we understand such confusion is bound to occur on occasion and are able to laugh about it.

  • Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don’t miss from the ’80s and ’90s
    Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.Photo credit: Images via Canva
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    Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don’t miss from the ’80s and ’90s

    Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the “gold old days.” But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don’t miss from the 1980s and 1990s. Over on Reddit,…

    Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the “gold old days.” But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don’t miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

    Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: “What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?”

    Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don’t miss about the ’80s and ’90s.

    landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone
    Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF Giphy

    “Long distance phone bill.” —gohdnuorg

    “Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that.” —raz0rbl4d3

    “Answering the landline and having no idea who’s calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety.” —Fit-Interview-3886

    “Not having GPS.” —recrysis

    “Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section.” —Less-Lengthiness4863

    smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s

    mothers day smoking GIF Giphy

    “Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too.” —poizon_elff

    “Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time.” —timmayd

    “Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter’s hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp.” —Honey-Badger-90

    “Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners.” —JLMTIK88

    “Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free.” —Joshawott27

    internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet

    Girl 90S GIF Giphy

    “Satanic panic.” —Historical_Spot_4051

    “Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two.” —11B-E5

    “Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda ‘last forever’. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren’t developing that tech.” —snoozieboi

    “Shoulder pads.” —Thin_Apartment_8076

    shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style

    Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints Giphy

    “Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never.” —Imaginary-List-4945

    “Terrible contact lenses.” —MandatoryMatchmaker

    “To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn’t do anything else.” —rena-vee

    “Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time.” —Aggravating-Iron9804

    pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone

    Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

    “Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn’t teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn’t teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn’t know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun.” —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

    “The ‘heroin chic’ body type.” —Heartbreak_Star

    “Panty hose.” —Kitty-haha

    “Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles .” — IAmTheBlackStar1979

    “Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job.” -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

    vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding

    Animated GIF Giphy

    “Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape.” —mycrml

    “Serial killers. They just can’t exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%.” —PrimeNumbersby2

    “Manual roll up/down windows in cars.” —Human-Average-2222

    “Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone .” —GoblinHeart1334

    “Busy signal on the phone.” —crjconsulting

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Gen X has been designated the ‘worst grandparents.’ Sadly, their explanation makes sense.
    Gen X designated the 'worst grandparents' by MillennialsPhoto credit: Canva
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    Gen X has been designated the ‘worst grandparents.’ Sadly, their explanation makes sense.

    Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years,…

    Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years, Gen Xers have been dubbed the “worst grandparents” by social media users.

    This multi-year conversation started when a video went viral calling Gen X out for being “terrible” grandparents, claiming that they never want to help with grandchildren. It didn’t take long before other Millennials piled on to air their own grievances about Gen X grandparents. Most people criticizing the “new grandparents” were genuinely perplexed as to how they did not want to be more involved in the lives of their grandchildren.

    Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z
    Family baking fun in the kitchen. Photo credit: Canva

    Kylie Muse reveals in a video that she felt neglected by her Gen X parents growing up, saying, “It’s quite a common theme for Gen X parents to be neglectful in some capacity and it’s just crazy to me how more of them haven’t learned from the past 20 to 30 years, instead of these grandparents seeing their kids having kids as an opportunity to restore the health in their relationships with their kids by showing up and helping them during the hardest transition of their lives, they would rather double down and compromise their relationship with that next generation. All for the sake of hyper-individualism and pride.”

    @kylies.muse

    Gen x grandparents and their beloved empty nest ? just say you hate having a family ? #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok

    ♬ original sound – Kylie | Wellness + Lifestyle

    The critique coming from the younger generation is not lost on Gen X, and they started coming out in force to respond with such vigor you’d think John Hughes had just announced the re-release of The Breakfast Club. It would seem that some of the people complaining of the lack of involvement have not considered that Gen X could have valid reasons for not immediately jumping in to take on grandparenting in the way some expect. A man by the name of John S. Blake gives a candid look into why Gen X was neglected as children and, in turn, became hype-independent at an early age.

    “As a Gen X who’s been on this earth long enough to have some hindsight I can tell you this, being independent at a young age is not a flex, what it actually means is capitalism is so brutal that our parents were forced to neglect their own children to stay alive. My generation was struggling so much that we had to leave our children unattended in order to produce enough so that we could afford to exist,” Blake says.

    But perhaps one of the most heart wrenching explanations comes from an elder Millennial who goes by the name Amazing Dea. In response to another Millennial who asks about Gen X being let off the hook, Dea shares, “Being as though you look like you might be a younger Millennial, let me go ahead and enlighten you. Generation X and older Millennials had to live through more than just this pandemic. We had the crack epidemic, we had the AIDS epidemic and let me tell you something, it was scary as f***.”

    Dea went on to explain that there were apartment complexes burned due to high populations of people with AIDS living in them and how they would witness people go from being completely normal to being addicted to crack in a matter of weeks. It seems that depending on socioeconomic status, Gen Xers lived wildly different lives with the common theme being growing up entirely too fast at an extremely young age.

    Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z
    Three generations smiling by the sea. Photo credit: Canva

    Another person kindly breaks down the confusion over why Gen X isn’t rising to the occasion of being award-winning grandparents. In response to the criticism she replies, “We grew up in a different time, first of all. A lot of us, meaning me, Gen X, I was raised by boomers. A lot of us did not get raised by our grandparents. We were like the feral kids, like by 7 and 9 years old we were actually babysitting our brothers and sisters, alright.”

    The woman explains further in the video that Gen X doesn’t want to raise their grandchildren or simply be babysitters, that there’s a difference between expecting grandparents to be involved and expecting them to be babysitters.

    @that1crazy72

    Let’s take it a step further. You share DNA with your grandkids they are part of you not everyone gets the privilege of being a grandparent so if you are one take that as a blessing #genxgrandparents

    ♬ original sound – That1crazy72

    In many of the response videos shared by Gen Xers, they certainly seem to love their grandchildren and children alike, but there’s a discrepancy in expectation. The consensus of the forgotten generation seems to be that they had adult responsibilities much too early, were exposed to adult life experiences at a young age, and were often left to their own devices for long periods of time while also being told that their voices didn’t matter.

    While the argument seems to be around their lack of involvement as grandparents, they appear to be saying that they want to enjoy the freedom they didn’t have as children, while being valued as a person and not a babysitter. In many follow up videos, Gen Xers gushed over their grandchildren and how they loved when they were around. It’s just that they draw the line at raising them. Maybe for some, their experiences with their own childhood isn’t enough to move Gen X out of the “worst grandparents” category, but for others it provides much needed context.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.
    Two hands of different ages grasp one another.Photo credit: Canva
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    I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded…

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

    The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

    Know someone before you marry them.

    A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone’s “true nature” to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, “A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year.”

    So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. “Slow down,” she said. “Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don’t get stuck.”

    elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase
    A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

    Some research shows that the “honeymoon phase” can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, “The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple’s relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.”

    No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

    Listen to your doctors

    elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure

    A doctor examining a patient’s wristu00a0with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

    I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, “Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they’re doing.”

    We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, “No. Really.” She added, “Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it’s too late.”

    Understand that time is precious

    elderly, aging, friendship, time,

    Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

    One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

    “No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You’re never prepared.”

    If you don’t want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don’t have to.

    On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn’t mean you can’t put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn’t mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

    One man noted, “Just because we all live in one place doesn’t mean we all become one person. We’ve got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It’s still your life.”

    His friend added, “If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge
    Columbus Metropolitan Library CEO Lauren Hagan "eats" a book. Photo credit: Columbus Metropolitan Library/X
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    Ohio library pokes fun at McDonald’s CEO by taking the ‘eat a book’ challenge

    McDonald’s President and CEO Chris Kempczinski went viral recently after taste-testing the new Big Arch burger. Kempczinski, dressed in a light blue sweater, refers to the burger as “product” (not a burger, mind you) and takes a very timid bite, looking uncomfortable eating his own food. The video inspired the CEOs of Burger King, Wendy’s,…

    McDonald’s President and CEO Chris Kempczinski went viral recently after taste-testing the new Big Arch burger. Kempczinski, dressed in a light blue sweater, refers to the burger as “product” (not a burger, mind you) and takes a very timid bite, looking uncomfortable eating his own food.

    The video inspired the CEOs of Burger King, Wendy’s, and Kentucky Fried Chicken to take confident bites of their burgers, while Jack in the Box’s mascot, Jack, warned against timid eaters. Just when it looked like the burger wars were flaming out, the Columbus Metropolitan Library in Ohio stepped up with a challenge of its own: make the CEO “eat a book like it’s a hamburger.”

    The library’s X feed is known for sharing interesting local history while also having fun.

    On March 5, the library issued a challenge to its X followers: If the post reached 10,000 likes, CEO Lauren Hagan would eat a book. The tweet did much better than that, receiving more than 60,000 likes.

    After the post took off, the social media manager began to regret his decision. 

    The CEO of the Columbus Metropolitan Library was challenged to eat a book “like a hamburger”

    In a follow-up video in which the social media admin promised the CEO would eat a book, he explained to Hagan how the library got caught up in the burger wars. After a quick cut, Hagan gets into character. “Hi, I’m Lauren Hagan, CEO of Columbus Metropolitan Library,” she says. “Last week, more than 50,000 of you made your voice clear. You’d like me to eat my words. More accurately, the words of our social media admin, who did not tell me about this.” She then grabs a book from the top of a pile and, after a very obvious edit, chomps into something resembling the book, which was probably a block of fondant or compressed cotton candy. Hagan ends the video with a pitch for libraries everywhere: “Check out your library, but remember, read them, don’t eat them.”

    The video was perfectly acted

    The video was funny and well acted, and Hagan and the social media admin looked like they could have been cast in The Office. Commenters overwhelmingly thought the social media admin deserved a raise.

    The video brought a satisfying end to the burger wars and reminded people how much they love libraries.

    The most popular commenter on a Reddit thread about the video wrote:

    “Libraries are consistently great when allowed to be by their local governments and properly funded. I have never met a librarian who wasn’t an absolute gem of a person as long as they were treated respectfully. I feel like it’s the perfect example of letting people do what they love. Every librarian I’ve encountered had such a genuine love of reading and helping people find a book that it was hard not to get excited.”

  • Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.
    How well did Gen X teens predict what life would be like today?Photo credit: BBC Archive/YouTube
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    Gen X teens in 1986 predicted what life would be like today. Here’s what they got right.

    Can kids predict the future? In 1966, the BBC’s Tomorrow’s World asked a group of 13-year-olds to share their predictions about what life in the year 2000 would be like. As you might expect, it was fascinating. Two decades later, the showrunners did the same thing again. Only this time, they asked the young teens…

    Can kids predict the future? In 1966, the BBC’s Tomorrow’s World asked a group of 13-year-olds to share their predictions about what life in the year 2000 would be like. As you might expect, it was fascinating.

    Two decades later, the showrunners did the same thing again. Only this time, they asked the young teens of 1986 what they thought life in 2020 would be like. How did Gen X’s answers about the future differ from those of their Baby Boomer predecessors?

    The 1966 cohort’s predictions dealt with space travel, robots, and computers. They were concerned about overpopulation and nuclear war.

    “That was before the manned moon landings, the microprocessor, strategic arms limitation talks, or test-tube babies,” the feather-haired host shared. “So have the hopes and fears of today’s 13-year-olds changed as they look forward to the year 2020?”

    The kids from 1986 offered their predictions:

    “Perhaps brain waves to convert into radio waves, sent to someone else, convert back into brain waves. And it’d be like, what would you call it, like a telepathy thing.”

    Cassette tapes from the 1980s neatly laid out on a table
    Kids who listened to music on cassette tapes had no concept of the Internet. Photo credit: Canva

    “Well, instead of a channel tunnel, you could have something like a space tunnel, where you could go [from] one planet to the other, like bypasses.”

    “Obviously, nuclear war worries me, but I don’t think that’ll happen unless they’ve got computers that press the button for them. Because no, I don’t think any human being is capable of actually pressing some button that releases all nuclear arms cuz it just means destruction of the world.”

    “I don’t think they’ll be living on Mars yet, but I think they’ll still be living around here.”

    “I think they may, unless they have another planet to go to, just there’ll be loads of tower blocks. Or people will be restricted to a certain amount of kids.”

    “Probably be computers running the country.”

    “But when it comes to wars and things like that, nuclear bombs, and then they’re designing these different gases that can kill people within seconds and things like that. I think that aspect of technology should be wiped out completely.”

    It’s interesting how similar many of the issues were between 1966 and 1986. Some of the worries these kids had are still major concerns 40 years later. But how accurate were their predictions of what 2020 would hold?

    The kid talking about not living on Mars yet was right. One could make an argument that computers do run the country, but not necessarily in the way a 13-year-old in 1986 would have imagined. They had no concept of the Internet at that point, which made imagining the reality of 2020 impossible. But the threat of nuclear war and questions about whether a person would ever actually “push the button”? That still feels relevant.

    However, it’s 2026, and there’s nary a space tunnel in sight, so that one was a bust. It’s wild to remember how we assumed things like flying cars and easy space travel would be common in adulthood. (And yet somehow Google Maps still feels like a miracle every time we use it.) It feels like we’re farther from actual telepathy than we imagined in the ’80s, but who knows? With advancements in nanotechnology and the Wild West of AI, even the near future feels entirely unpredictable.

    In 1985, wild-haired scientist “Doc” asked a philosophical question in Back to the Future: “Since when can weathermen predict the weather, much less the future?” Thankfully, we’ve drastically improved our ability to predict the weather since then. Predicting the future, however, remains as impossible as it has always been.

  • Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans
    Evan Edinger shares how the meanings of certain words are opposite in the U.K. and the U.S.Photo credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube
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    Expatriate reveals 8 words and phrases that mean the opposite to Brits and Americans

    The English language is full of idiosyncrasies and inconsistencies that can drive English learners batty. But even for native English speakers, some words and phrases can cause confusion in ways they may not expect. For instance, not only are there English words that mean opposite things depending on how they are used (called contronyms), but…

    The English language is full of idiosyncrasies and inconsistencies that can drive English learners batty. But even for native English speakers, some words and phrases can cause confusion in ways they may not expect.

    For instance, not only are there English words that mean opposite things depending on how they are used (called contronyms), but there are also words and phrases that have opposite meanings depending on where they are used.

    A person holding an American flag and a person holding a British flag
    A person holding an American flag and a person holding a British flag. Photo credit: Canva.

    Evan Edinger moved to the United Kingdom 13 years ago. He shares videos on YouTube about his experience as an American living in the U.K., including linguistic differences. For instance, saying the food in London is “quite good” may sound like a compliment, but it would likely be received as a bit of an insult by Londoners.

    “English is full of words that quietly flip meaning when you cross the Atlantic,” he says. “Words that you think sound polite or a compliment, like this one, can really land you in hot water if you use them across the pond.”

    “Quite”

    That’s because Americans generally use “quite” as an intensifier. If something is “quite good,” we see it as better than just “good.” For Brits, “quite” is often used as a dampener, so “quite good” can mean less good than simply “good.”

    “With all due respect…”

    Other opposite meanings are less subtle, like the phrase “with all due respect.”

    “I’ve lived in this country for over 13 years, and I’ve only found out this year, Brits do not mean this when they say it,” shares Edinger. “When an American says, ‘With all due respect,’ it’s usually just a polite way to pad out some criticism. ‘With all due respect, I think we should do it this way instead.’ Basically, ‘I respect you. I do. But I do disagree with you in this instance.’ In Britain, they say the same words, ‘with all due respect,’ but the implication is that they actually don’t respect you or your opinion at all. The amount of respect that you’re due? That’s in question. ‘With the respect you’re due,’ which, of course, is nothing.”

    “I’ll bear that in mind…”

    It’s a bit similar with “I’ll bear that in mind.” In the U.S., that usually means you’ll consider it and might actually do it. In the U.K., it more often means you have no intention of doing it and have probably already forgotten it.

    “Though diving deeper into the data, it would appear that Americans in the Northeast are significantly more likely to share the British stance,” Edinger adds. “I think that makes sense, actually. But overall, American culture prioritizes direct communication. If they like your idea, an American will probably tell you. Same as if they dislike it, you’ll know. As a lot of British culture emphasizes indirectness and not causing offense, expressions like, ‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ act as a polite way of refusing an idea without outright saying it to soften the blow.”

    To “table” something

    If you’re an American and you hear “let’s table that discussion,” it means, “Let’s not talk about this now. We’ll come back to it later, if we have time.” For Brits, it means, “Let’s talk about this right now.”

    “This is one expression that causes a lot of confusion in international meetings,” says Edinger. “In British English, to table a motion or an issue means to bring it forward for discussion. For instance, if an item is tabled in parliament, well, it has been figuratively put on the table to be addressed immediately.”

    In the U.S., it’s the opposite.

    “In both houses of the United States Congress, the motion to table is used to kill a motion without debate or further discussion,” he says. “Quite interesting that both countries’ political bodies have the same word that means quite literally the very opposite. It’s quite literally the difference between, ‘Well let’s talk about this immediately. It’s really important,’ and ‘Let’s never speak of this again.’”

    A “moot point”

    For Brits, a “moot point” is a point that’s debatable—something that can be argued either way, which aligns with its original meaning. A moot was an Anglo-Saxon assembly or court, so a moot point is one that would be argued there.

    For Americans, a moot point isn’t debatable—it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter. There’s no point in debating it at all anymore. (Or, as Joey on Friends would say, “Like a cow’s opinion.”)

    How did we end up with such an opposite meaning? Edinger explains:

    “Often, an important part of law school is arguing hypothetical cases in a moot court for practice. It’s similar to a mock trial. So, a moot point would be a point brought up in a moot court. During the 19th century in America specifically, this evolved more to focus on the hypothetical nature of the moot point.”

    Edinger points out that even the Supreme Court of the United States uses the term “moot question” to refer to a question that has no bearing on an issue.

    Solicitor

    In the U.S., when we hear the word “solicitor,” we usually think of a door-to-door salesperson or someone who knocks on the door trying to persuade us to buy something or believe something. People often hang “No Solicitors” signs on their front porches to deter them.

    A “No Solicitors” sign hangs on a door. Photo credit: Canva

    A “No Solicitors” sign in the U.K. might be confusing, as a solicitor is not a salesperson but “a qualified legal professional who provides specialist legal advice on different areas of law and is responsible for representing a client’s legal interests.” Americans would call them lawyers, but in the U.K., a lawyer could be anyone working in a law-related role.

    Public school

    A solicitor in the U.S. probably went to public school, and a highly regarded solicitor in the U.K. also probably went to public school, but the term means something completely different in each country.

    In the U.S., a public school is a free school funded by the government that anyone has the right to attend. In the U.K., a public school is one of the prestigious, selective, and expensive private boarding schools attended by the children of wealthy families. The famous Eton College is a public school in the British sense, but not at all in the American sense.

    To make matters even more confusing, what Americans call public schools, Brits call state schools. In the U.S., we usually use “state school” to refer to public universities.

    Momentarily

    If a pilot announces, “We’ll be landing momentarily,” Americans understand that to mean “very soon.” But for Brits, that sentence might be confusing, since “momentarily” means “just for a moment.” As in, maybe the plane will touch down and then immediately take off again.

    It’s the difference between “in a moment” and “for a moment,” which may not seem huge but could lead to big misunderstandings.

    It just goes to show that even when we speak the same language, there’s plenty of room for miscommunication.

    You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more.

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