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Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.
Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?
Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.
Courtesy of Kerry Hyde
The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).
To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.
Courtesy of Kerry Hyde
"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.
The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).
"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.
Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.
Courtesy of Kerry Hyde
The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."
"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.
Courtesy of Kerry Hyde
"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.
"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"
Kindergartener calls school impersonating dad to pull a Ferris Bueller.
Kindergarten is hard. Nowadays there's a lot less playing and many school districts have cut out naps and half-day programs in exchange for more seated, curriculum-heavy work. Sometimes the shift in workload can feel like a little too much, especially for a kindergartener named Lyric. The little girl decided to take a day to herself to reflect on the hard work she's doing in kindergarten. The only problem is she didn't her parents.
Instead, Lyric decided to call her elementary school the evening prior to her self-scheduled mini vacation and impersonate her father. She left a very clever voicemail in the attendance office informing them that she would not be attending school the following day. To disguise her voice, she spoke as deeply as possible and hoped that would do the trick. The only problem with her genius plan was that she's not in charge of taking herself to school.
Episode 7 No School GIF by South ParkGiphy
Skipping school, or in this case, attempting to skip school is nothing new. Students have been skipping out on classes since the first school house was built because, even before iPads, playing with a ball in a cup was more exciting than classwork for most students. The 1986 movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off is all about a kid who decided to skip school, though Ferris was a wee bit older than a kindergartener.
Lyric's mom had no idea her daughter attempted to get out of going to school until she was called into the office about the voicemail. Surprisingly, though, Lyric's school wasn't upset with her. The elementary school officials found the voicemail amusing and wanted to share the unbelievable impersonation with her mom.
Ferris Buellers Day Off Film GIFGiphy
"I don't know what I did to deserve a daughter like mine but let me tell y'all what just happened," Tyonda, the girl's mother, starts to explain in her video uploaded to TikTok. "I go to drop her off at school, the ladies in the front office are like, 'yeah, we we received a message last night,." Tyonda already suspected the message was from her daughter. "I'm never amazed. It's like the element of surprise with her. So, they play the message back. My daughter tried to act like her daddy and call herself out of school. What in the Ferris Bueller is going on here? Baby, you're in kindergarten."
You can listen to Lyric's attempt at her dad's voice here:
Apparently, the girl's impersonation of her father's voice is much deeper voice than his actual voice, which is pretty impressive for a six-year-old girl. People found Lyric's antics highly amusing, with some issuing warnings for the girl's teenage years, "Buckle up honey, the next 13-14 years bout to be wild."
"I’m expecting a teenager a KINDERGARTENER???!!!" one person writes.
"We need to hear daddy’s voice before we can say if it was or wasn’t him," another jokes.
Sunglasses Hiding GIF by Soul TrainGiphy
"The thing is ..... this was practiced and planned. she had the number, the voice and a mission," someone shares.
"But wait yall have to drop her off at school where was she gonna go if that worked?" another commenter asks.
Lyric was unconvinced that she did not sound exactly like her dad. In a follow up video the little girl insists that she sounds like her father and reveals she was able to get the number to the school from Apple Maps on her iPad. It also seems that Lyric has zero regrets and plans to continue her shenanigans well into high school.
@keepingupwityonda Replying to @itsshamitch💋
A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.
Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?
I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.
Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.
Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.
If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.
Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:
“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”
Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.
Traditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva
Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.
“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”
Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?
This article originally appeared in February
A man who hasn't dunked a basketball in several decades wants to see if he can still do it.
When you think of a person in their late 70s and the things they can do to stay active, you probably imagine things like walking, aqua fitness classes, or using light dumbbells or resistance bands. Easy stuff, right? The most important thing is to not push it too hard and end up getting injuries. At that age, many people are prone to falls and their bones are more brittle—which puts them at great risk of broken bones and other serious damage.
One of the highest impact and most intensive forms of exercise a person can do? Jumping. Even a lot of younger people don't like to do it too much because it's so hard on the knees and other joints. But the benefits for bone density, balance, coordination, and overall physical health are incredible, making it such a catch-22 activity for older seniors.
A 79-year-old recently decided he wanted to try to dunk a basketball. Even better, he's documenting the whole thing on YouTube.
Charlie Gross in six months.Giphy
Charlie Gross retired in 2013. He's a husband and grandfather who's always managed to stay fit. Back in his day, he was quite the athlete. "I would say for a 79-year-old I'm physically active and mentally in pretty good shape," he says.
Gross says the last time he was able to dunk a basketball on a regulation hoop, he was around 30. He remembers a volleyball game in the early '80s where he grabbed the volleyball and was able to dunk it. That was the last time he pulled it off successfully.
Gross works and volunteers as a gym teacher for homeschool students and was inspired by a vertical leap test he did with his class. He measured his vertical leap at 11 inches, which he calls "embarrassing"—the average vertical leap for most men is somewhere around 16-20 inches, but those numbers are typically for people much younger. An 11-inch vert at almost 80 years old is already impressive! Gross was teaching and training some of his students to increase their vertical leap, and he got the idea to see if any of the tips would work for him.
"Just seemed like kind of an interesting challenge to take on," he noted. And so be began his journey. He enlisted the help of his grandson, Zach, to create a mini "documentary" for YouTube.
For reference, Gross is 5' 10". He's in generally good physical health but, like anyone his age, he's been through some challenges including a partially torn rotator cuff and a bout with prostate cancer. Dunking a basketball is an enormous challenge, but Gross is up for it.
Toward the end of the first video, he runs a test to establish his baseline. With a light jogging start and after a couple of attempts, Gross can replicate his 11-inch vertical in real-world conditions.
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
In a follow-up video about two weeks later, the progress is remarkable.
Gross recounts his workout routine, which consisted of squats, standing jumps, weighted jumps with dumbbells, calf stretches, toe raises, farmers walks, and more. He's super cognizant of not pushing too hard and hurting himself. Gross is well aware that his age makes him an injury risk if he works out too strenuously or engages in too much high-impact training.
Another real-world test out in the driveway basketball court clocked Gross at about a 13-inch vertical. The update finishes up with Gross attempting to dunk on an eight-foot rim.
He's well on his way! Though the task remains daunting.
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
Gross posted his first video just two weeks ago as of this writing, and today he already has nearly 15,0000 subscribers and over 300,000 total views on his two updates. Commenters can't get enough and are so excited to root for him on his journey:
"What a LEGEND!!! So inspirational."
"The fact that you're 79 and you still have this lively and joyful mindset, and that your body is in remarkably good condition is just awesome. Kudos to you and good luck sir!"
"Yeah this man is who everyone should aspire to be like when they are older. Physically and mentally active at 79 is no easy feat. Kudos!"
"I DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU SUCCEED OR FAIL...YOU ARE ALREADY A LEGEND FOR THIS!"
The physical benefits for people Gross' age when it comes to staying active are obvious. Regular movement and exercise can do wonders for your longevity, especially in your later years, and also improve your quality of life. He's 79 and so full of life he honestly seems decades younger. But the best thing we can take from Gross' example is his willingness to try something new and set a challenging goal for himself.
According to Pacific Angels Home Care, "In some regards, goal setting is especially important for seniors. It gives seniors control over their lives and allows them to reflect on what is important to them and what interests them. They can determine what will motivate them and give them purpose." The mental boost from working to achieve a goal helps fight off the depression that's so common in seniors. And besides, trying new things and challenging ourselves is a crucial part of being alive.
In one of his videos, Gross quotes Spock from Star Trek: "Live long and prosper," he says. I'd say, whether he ends up dunking or not, he's definitely prospering already!