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People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors are doing an English accent

There's one word they never get right.

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown
The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.

What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.

What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Guy shares what happened when he accidentally 'sexted' his boss at work

This gives performance reports a whole new meaning.

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

woman holding iPhone during daytime

Write text. Hit send. Heart sinks because WHOOPS, actually sent that text to the wrong person. Most of us have had some version of this. Maybe you're sharing shady memes about a buddy and accidentally text it to that buddy. Perhaps you send a "Please pick up some wine after work" note to your kid's kindergarten teacher.

But one guy on Reddit took the cringe-level up a notch when he, completely by mistake, sexted his boss. One minute, he's chilling on his couch, thinking he's crafted the perfect sexy text to the woman he recently started seeing. The next moment, upon realization that his boss was the recipient, he describes his "soul leave his body."

The million dollar question is, what did he write? Here it is: "I can't stop thinking about you. I swear if I was there, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

Giphy

Now we all know it could have been a lot worse. But he explains, "I freaked out so hard, I almost threw my phone across the room." Panic set in. Of course, he tried to recall the message, but it was too late. Then he thought his next logical step was obviously, "Well, I guess I have to quit my job!"

Ten endless minutes goes by and DING. His boss texts back. Will he be mocked? Worse, will he be fired? But instead, his boss writes (somewhat mercifully) "Uh…I don't think this was meant for me."

This doesn't totally quell his anxiety. He messages back, " OMG sorry, wrong number, haha, you know how it is, LOL!" But after no further communication, he's a bit unsure about his job security.

burt lancaster GIFGiphy

Many in the comment section try to put him at ease. One person suggests, " Just laugh it off when you see them, assuming they have some kind of sense of humor. 'Oh hey, sorry about the message thing. Hope I didn't get your hopes up' or 'last time I take advice online about how to get a promotion."

Another Redditor suggests he take it more seriously. " Eh. I'd say offer a sincere apology first, take it seriously because it is indeed a serious slip in today's culture. Going straight to 'laughing it off' can give the appearance that you're reckless. Offer a genuine apology, and he will most likely let you off the hook."

man iphone GIF by NRK P3Giphy

Another agrees with this approach, "Don’t make a joke about it, just say sorry it was meant for someone else and you made a mistake. Making a joke about it is taking a gamble. You don’t need to save face, it was just a mistake."

Still, most of the comments encourage him not to stress, with the hopes that his supervisor has the wit to handle it. One adds the positive spin, "You gave him a funny story to tell his friends this weekend. You’re fine, try not to stress about it. It might even open up an avenue for you and your boss to bond a little bit over a hilarious mix-up and the dating scene."

The best piece of advice comes from someone who actually was the boss in a similar scenario. He writes, " I have had an employee do this to me. My name has a female counterpart that's pretty close, got the text at 2:00 a.m. something along the lines of 'I miss you. I happen to be up', I replied with, 'wrong person, drink some water. We'll see you in the morning.' Point is I wouldn't worry about it."

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Pets

Research shows why you should always pet your dog before leaving the house

via Pixabay

One of the most wonderful things about having a dog is how attached they become to their owners. I work from home and my Jack Russel terrier, Scout, lies next to me on his bed for most of the day. The only time he leaves my office is for a sip of water or to go outside and sun his belly on the porch.

That's why whenever I leave the house and can't take Scout with me, I wonder, "Does he miss me? Is he sad that he's alone?" Studies show that our dogs miss us the moment we leave the house and that feeling slowly intensifies until we are gone for about four hours and they have a "plateau of melancholy." That's why the longer you're away, the more excited your dog is when you return home.

The moment I pull up in my car Scout begins to howl like a wolf trying to contact someone who's miles away. It's like, "Dude, I'm 30 feet away. Give me a second to grab the groceries out of the trunk."

Researchers from the Universities of Pisa and Perugia, Italy have found that if you give your dog some affection before you leave the house they'll have less anxiety while you're away.

They conducted experiments with 10 dogs between the ages of one and 11 without attachment issues. The group was composed of seven mixed-breed dogs, one Labrador retriever, one Hovawart, and one Chihuahua.

Participants in the study walked their leashed dogs into a fenced area where they were greeted by a researcher who took their dog's heart rate. In the first test, after the owners walked their dogs into the area, they talked with a researcher for one minute then left without giving the dog any special attention.

In the second test, the dog owners petted the dog during their interaction with the researcher.

In both tests, the owners left the fenced area and hid far enough away so that the dog couldn't smell them.

After the owners left, the dogs looked for them for about three minutes on average. After the owners returned, the researchers measured the dogs' levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as their heart rates.

The researchers found that whether the dogs were petted or not, their cortisol levels were unchanged. But their heart rate showed a marked decrease if the owners petted them before leaving. Researchers later watched videos of the dogs and found that the ones that were petted showed " behaviors indicative of calmness for a longer period while waiting for the owner's return."

Next time I'm ready to leave the house and Scout follows me to the front door after saying, "Sorry bud, you can't go with me on this trip," I'll kneel down and give him a little extra love and attention.

Maybe that way he won't howl like the house is on fire when I pull up in my car after a trip to the grocery store.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Politics

People are shared the one American non-president they’d add to Mount Rushmore

Who would you choose?

via Wikimedia Commons

Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota.

Sculptor Gutzon Borglum designed the Mount Rushmore National Memorial and oversaw the project's execution from 1927 to 1941. The sculptor also chose the four presidents who are carved into granite on the mountain’s face. He selected the four presidents to represent the nation's birth (George Washington), growth (Thomas Jefferson), development (Theodore Roosevelt) and preservation (Abraham Lincoln).

Since the faces on Mount Rushmore were first chiseled into granite there have been debates over which presidents also deserve to be on the monument. Two years ago, then-President Donald Trump floated the idea that he deserved to have his face carved in granite.

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the online forum about the famous monument and it sparked a great conversation. “You get to add another American to Mt. Rushmore but it can’t be a president. Who do you choose?”

That’s a tough question to answer but a fun one to ponder. What criteria does one use to choose the greatest American that ever lived who wasn’t a president? More than 545 million people have lived in the country over the past 244 years. How do we choose one?

Do you select someone from the world of sports, science, the arts, literature, civil rights, religion, military or healthcare? What about someone who performed a heroic deed?

To rank the responses on the Reddit post, I looked at the number of upvotes each suggestion received and then ranked them. It’s not the most scientific way of doing things but it gives us a pretty good idea about who people think should make it to the monument.

Here are the top 20 most popular responses to the burning question: “Which non-president should be added to Mount Rushmore?”

1.

"Dr. Jonas Salk. Saved us all from polio." — Barefoot_Alvin

2.

"There is already a non-president on Mt. Rushmore. John Cena." — zoqforpik

The Reddit user is clearly referencing the wrestler's catchphrase.

3.

"Dolly Parton." — Airos42

4.

"Mr. Rogers." — PitchforkJoe

5.

"Mark Twain. The quintessential American writer. We always put up statues of military and politicians across this country. It would be nice to see more of our creative side get honored. Put up Poe on the mountain. Attract goths to the site." — inksmudgedhands

6.

"Martin Luther King Jr." — bahamuto

7.

"How is Nicolas Cage not here yet?" — deus_vult

8.

"John Wilkes Booth but he's further back behind Lincoln." — Jakovosol0

9.

"Benjamin Franklin." — FinnbarMcBride

10.

"Sacagawea." — bivalve_connisseur

11.

"Homer Simpson." — EonClaw

12.

"Bob Ross." — j-oats

13.

"Weird Al." — OntarioLakeside

14.

"Frederick Douglass." — kade22

15.

"Betty White." — Diatrial

16.

The person who started the thread chimed in with their nominee.

"Neil Armstrong would be my number one." — taint_licking_clown

17.

"Harriet Tubman." — 44cksSake

18.

"Ronnie James Dio!" — kevinthegeek21

19.

"Maria Darlene Pearson or Hai-Mecha Eunka (lit. 'Running Moccasins') (July 12, 1932 – May 23, 2003) was an activist who successfully challenged the legal treatment of Native American human remains. A member of the Turtle Clan of the Yankton Sioux which is a federally recognized tribe of Yankton Dakota, she was one of the primary catalysts for the creation of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act (NAGPRA). Her actions led to her being called 'the Founding Mother of the modern Indian repatriation movement' and 'the Rosa Parks of NAGPRA." — CTeam19

20.

"Danny DeVito." — distantshadow

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Science

An old male bald eagle who adopted a rock as an egg has just been given a real foster baby

People are totally invested in Murphy becoming a real dad after he spent weeks nurturing his "RockBaby."

World Bird Sanctuary/Facebook

Murphy meets a rescued eaglet—his new foster baby.

On March 8, 2023, a keeper at World Bird Sanctuary in St. Louis County, Missouri, noticed something odd. A male bald eagle named Murphy was guarding what appeared to be a large depression in the ground. “The spot was sparsely but carefully decorated with leaves and branches, and featured a simple rock right in the center,” the nature preserve shared on its Facebook page.

Murphy began sitting on the rock, nudging it and becoming fiercely protective of it, as it if were an egg. People visiting the sanctuary would inquire about the bald eagle just sitting there, wondering if he was okay. The keepers finally put up a sign that read:

“If you see an eagle lying down in the back left corner under a perch, that’s Murphy! Murphy is not hurt, sick, or otherwise in distress. He has built a nest on the ground, and is very carefully incubating a rock! We wish him the best of luck!”

In case you’re wondering if this is unusual behavior for a 31-year-old male bald eagle, the answer is "not really, but…." Male bald eagles do share equally in nesting and baby-raising, so the paternal instinct part is normal. Murphy's channeling of that instinct onto a rock…maybe not so much. And at 31, he's more like a great-granddad than dad, as bald eagles usually live 20 to 30 years in the wild (though they do live longer in captivity).

Murphy takes fatherhood seriously, though. Soon he began screaming and charging at the four other eagles in the aviary if they came anywhere near RockBaby. (That's the official name the keepers gave Murphy’s…well, rock baby.) Naturally, the screaming and charging caused a fair amount of stress for all involved, so Murphy and RockBaby were moved to their own enclosure for everyone's protection.

People who saw this unfold started suggesting sanctuary staff replace Murphy’s rock with a real egg or get him a mate, but 1) Eagle eggs aren’t just lying around waiting to be given to wanna-be dads, 2) hatching a different kind of bird's egg would be potentially dangerous for it, and 3) Murphy had two females right there in the aviary, and none of them were interested in each other. Alas, the heart cannot be forced.

However, a different opportunity presented itself in late March when an aerie with two chicks in it was blown down by high winds. One chick didn’t survive the fall, but the other was brought to World Bird Sanctuary’s Wildlife Hospital.

A bit bruised, but otherwise healthy, the chick was given a good prognosis. Staff began feeding it while wearing a camouflage suit and holding an eagle stuffy to prevent the eaglet from imprinting on humans. What the baby really needed was a foster parent—an adult eagle who would feed and care for it.

“Murphy’s dad instincts were already in high gear,” the sanctuary wrote on April 11, “but at 31 years old, he had never raised a chick before. It’s definitely a gamble, but also the chick’s best chance.”

Introducing an eaglet to an adult eagle isn’t as simple as dropping it in the enclosure. First, the eaglet is put into what the sanctuary refers to as a “baby jail," which is a heated, comfy cage made of wood and wire that protects the eaglet but still allows some interaction between the birds so they can get used to one another. Once the desired bonding behavior is observed, then they try out some direct one-on-one interaction without the cage.

On April 12, World Bird Sanctuary announced, "IT'S HAPPENING!!!!"

The eaglet (referred to as Bald Eaglet 23-126—they don't name foster babies at the sanctuary for superstitious reasons) was released from baby jail, and after an hour or so Murphy approached it with curiosity. Was he wondering if his RockBaby had hatched? Maybe. Would he be the nurturing dad everyone hoped he would be? It appears so.

As the sanctuary shared:

"This morning, Murphy got his chance to be a full parent as 23-126 left the nest to go be closer to Murphy. The food is being dropped through a blind drop tube into the nest and baby appears unable to be able to get over the lip to get back into the nest to get the chopped food. When we checked back, we found that baby was still out of the nest and all the chopped food was still in the nest. However, Murphy’s whole fish had been removed from the nest and baby had a full crop. 23-126 is not yet old enough to tear food which means MURPHY FED THE BABY!!!!"

The comments on the update, of course, are pure gold as people have become fully invested in this story:

"I can’t believe I’m crying over eagles!"

"Murphy’s going to be giving a TedTalk: Manifest The Eaglet You Need In Your Life."

"So happy for Murphy & eaglet Dwayne (the rock Johnson)."

"'Rock, I am your Father.'"

"Omg I’m crying! Murphy never gave up on his rock and now has a baby of his very ownThe wonders of nature never cease. Ty, WBS, for making this possible. These two are saving each other."

Many people have lamented that there is not a live cam so we can all watch this pair as their relationship develops, but staff reminded everyone that the sanctuary is out in the middle of the woods and they don't have a strong enough signal for a live stream.

But WBS staff has been posting updates on social media and will share the story as it continues to unfold. Follow World Bird Sanctuary on Facebook here. And if you feel compelled to donate to help feed little Dwayne or 23-126 or whatever you'd like to call Murphy's new baby—who apparently eats a ridiculous amount—you can donate here or check out their Amazon baby registry (yes, seriously!) here.

Congratulations, Papa Murphy!

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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