upworthy
Body Image

People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

Man smiling behind heart hands
via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Pop Culture

William Shatner describes the profound grief he felt when he finally went to space for real

The OG Captain Kirk's real-life space experience holds important lessons for us all.

"William Shatner" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

William Shatner's trip to space wasn't what he expected.

Statistically speaking, the number of humans who have traveled into space is insignificant. But the experience of leaving our home planet and venturing into the great beyond is incredibly significant for the individuals who have actually done it.

One of those fortunate humans is actor William Shatner, who spent three years pretending to hurtle through space in his iconic role as Captain James T. Kirk on the original "Star Trek" series. As captain of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk was dedicated to exploring "strange new worlds," seeking out "new life and new civilizations" and boldly going "where no man has gone before."

Naturally, Shatner has spent a lot of time pondering what it would be like to actually experience leaving Earth, and when he took the opportunity to join Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin trip to space in October 2021 at age 90, he was able to compare how his expectations met up with reality.

Shatner shared an excerpt from his new book with Variety, and it reveals that his initial reaction to being in space was surprisingly dark.

"I love the mystery of the universe," Shatner wrote. "I love all the questions that have come to us over thousands of years of exploration and hypotheses. Stars exploding years ago, their light traveling to us years later; black holes absorbing energy; satellites showing us entire galaxies in areas thought to be devoid of matter entirely… all of that has thrilled me for years…"

However, as he looked out the window of the spacecraft—a real one, not a screen on a film set—and looked in the direction opposite Earth, "there was no mystery, no majestic awe to behold," he wrote. "All I saw was death. I saw a cold, dark, black emptiness. It was unlike any blackness you can see or feel on Earth. It was deep, enveloping, all-encompassing."

As he turned back toward "the light of home," he saw the opposite. "I could see the curvature of Earth, the beige of the desert, the white of the clouds and the blue of the sky. It was life. Nurturing, sustaining, life. Mother Earth. Gaia. And I was leaving her."

Then he had a stunning revelation: "Everything I had thought was wrong. Everything I had expected to see was wrong."

Again, this is a man who has spent much of his life thinking about space—not as an astronaut or astronomer or astrophysicist, but as a human being stuck on the Earth's surface, struck with wonder about what's out there. He explained what he had been wrong about:

"I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film 'Contact,' when Jodie Foster’s character goes to space and looks out into the heavens, she lets out an astonished whisper, 'They should’ve sent a poet.' I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound.

"It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered. The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna . . . things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind. It filled me with dread. My trip to space was supposed to be a celebration; instead, it felt like a funeral."

Shatner explained how this "sense of the planet’s fragility takes hold in an ineffable, instinctive manner" for many astronauts when they view Earth from orbit. It's part of the "overview effect"—the profound shift in perspective that comes with seeing our collective home from a distance. With no visible borders between nations or peoples, it becomes clear that our divisions are all manmade, which can change the way we view humanity as a whole.

The experience left Shatner with renewed conviction to focus on what we share in common.

"It reinforced tenfold my own view on the power of our beautiful, mysterious collective human entanglement," he wrote, "and eventually, it returned a feeling of hope to my heart. In this insignificance we share, we have one gift that other species perhaps do not: we are aware—not only of our insignificance, but the grandeur around us that makes us insignificant. That allows us perhaps a chance to rededicate ourselves to our planet, to each other, to life and love all around us. If we seize that chance."

Just beautiful. Since most of us will never leave Earth, we can take inspiration from those who have, acknowledge our essential oneness and do everything in our power to protect our beautiful, life-giving home.

Shatner shares more of his reflections on life on this planet and beyond in his most recent book, "Boldly Go: Reflections on a Life of Awe and Wonder."


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Sadio Mané


I don't follow international football (soccer, for us Americans), but a viral Facebook post prompted me to look up pro soccer player Sadio Mané. I'm so glad I did.

In 2020, the then 28-year-old from Senegal played for Liverpool and was widely known as one of the nicest guys in the game. He often helped offload items off the team's bus, treated unsuspecting fans and ballboys with gifts, and even helped scrub toilets at a local mosque after a big game.

He was also known for donating much of his $14 million a year salary as a professional footballer, especially toward helping his home village in Senegal.

The viral post that caught my eye showed Mané carrying a cracked iPhone and included a quote from him explaining his approach to wealth. (The quote was not in response to being asked about the cracked iPhone, but it makes a nice visual).

In a 2019 interview Ghanian newspaper Nsemwoha, Mané said:

"Why would I want ten Ferraris, 20 diamond watches, or two planes? What will these objects do for me and for the world? I was hungry, and I had to work in the field; I survived hard times, played football barefooted, I did not have an education and many other things, but today with what I earn thanks to football, I can help my people. I built schools, a stadium, we provide clothes, shoes, food for people who are in extreme poverty. In addition, I give 70 euros per month to all people in a very poor region of Senegal which contributes to their family economy. I do not need to display luxury cars, luxury homes, trips and even planes. I prefer that my people receive a little of what life has given me"

He's sincere about that. Mané paid for a hospital to be built as well—a project he funded because his father died when Mané was a child because there was no hospital in their village. In the summer of 2019, he also returned to Senegal on vacation to check up on a school he is building in his home village of Bambali.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Mané's attitude toward his wealth and his choice to spend his money to help others are so refreshing. People are free to do what they want with their money, of course, and it's not like Mané never splurges. But he tries to stay humble. In a world with such extremes of poverty and wealth, seeing someone attempt to balance the scales voluntarily does a heart good. Imagine a society where every millionaire or billionaire were as detached from material things and as generous with what they have as Sadio Mané. While individuals aren't responsible for public welfare, imagine the wide range of good they could do nonetheless.

Nearly five years later, Mané's philosophy of sharing his wealth hasn't changed. Now 32, Mané left Liverpool in 2022 to play for Munich, and as of 2024, Mané now plays In Saudi Arabia for Al-Nassr. He was considered one of the world's highest-paid soccer players in 2024 by Forbes, and according to a July 2024 Business Insider profile, Mané continues to give back to his Senegalese community by funding Universal Basic Income in a region affected by extreme poverty.

Thank you, Sadio Mané, for continuing to be such an excellent role model!


This story originally appeared five years ago.

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.




People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year.

Pop Culture

Frugal gamers share their tips for video gaming on a budget

Get hundreds of hours of video game entertainment for cheap or free

Beat the level, not your wallet

If you’ve been a video game fan that hasn’t really touched a game system since the Playstation 3 or earlier and want to get back into it, or if you’re a parent that’s unfamiliar with current gaming today that has kids that want to play, it can look very expensive. Seeing new video game titles averaging around $60 for the base game plus more money for additional downloadable content can give everyone a case of sticker shock. Per the Entertainment Software Association, Americans spent $57.2 billion on video games in 2023. However, gaming veterans have some tips for newbies that can save you big money in the long term while providing hours of entertainment. As brought up on Reddit and other social media, there are ways to start or continue your gaming habit during these more difficult economic times.

First is gaming hardware. Many longtime games recommend getting or using a PC for gaming over gaming consoles like an X-Box or Playstation. First, the vast majority of games, especially third party or independently made games, are typically readily available for personal computers to download through electronic shops such as Steam. Buying games digitally is typically cheaper since there is no packaging, shipping, and other costs that usually drive up the price of a physical copy of a game. Along with that, if you learn some know-how through YouTube tutorials, you can upgrade your PC every few years yourself so you can play the latest games at a fraction of the cost of the latest gaming console. If you want a throwback experience or show off games you grew up with to your kids, there are downloadable emulators that will bring your favorite past games to 2025.

However, if you prefer a current game console such as a Sony Playstation, Microsoft X-Box, or Nintendo Switch, you can still save some money if you have patience. New consoles will have the latest games but will be at the highest price. Even then, there will only be a handful of games. If you wait six months to a year, the console will likely be cheaper and there will be more games for it to choose from at a better price.

If you can’t wait, you can buy the previous generation console since it will definitely be cheaper, new or used, and its much bigger library of games will be cheaper, too. There are also plenty of second-hand gaming stores or Facebook groups to buy gently used games. You can also research to see if your local library offers video games to check out, too.



Much like PCs, many of these consoles have a digital store that offer downloadable versions of games that are often on sale. It’s not unheard of for a same to be $60 or more when it is first released, but gets put on sale at 90% off after six months. If you see a gaming title you like but doesn’t fit your budget, put it on your wishlist and check every once in a while to see if it’s on sale. It’s worth spending more money on adding digital storage space for your system, as you can potentially download hundreds of games at deep discounts over time. There are also subscription services such as Playstation Plus or X-Box Gamepass that add on new games each month that you can play for as long as you want at a fraction of the cost. Following social media accounts that keep track and alert followers of sales can also help you find great deals.

If you do want to upgrade to a current system, it may still be worth waiting to purchase it until the price goes down and more games are playable. But if you are willing to invest in a new system, it’ll be worthwhile to make sure that it is backwards compatible or that you’re able to redownload the games you previously purchased. Many companies are seeing this as a must-have feature, like Nintendo reassuring consumers that they’ll be able to play most of their original Switch games on the Switch 2.

It’s also worth looking into online and in-person gaming communities in order to learn about lesser known game titles to check out, trade with new friends, and find out about new deals to stay ahead of the curve.

Video games can be a great way to decompress and entertain yourself or your children. But with a little bit of research and chatting with other friendly folks in the video gaming community, you can enjoy this pastime by running through loop-de-loops like Sonic the Hedgehog rather than running through credit card debt.

Photo courtesy of Beth Crosby

Beth Crosby (who goes by the name @thegarbagemom on social media) asked her 8-year-old daughter, Grace, to write personal notes to firefighters in her community. She had no idea she'd be so moved by what her daughter said. As one of the many Los Angeles residents near the devastating wildfires, Beth and her family feared they had to evacuate their home. Preparing go-bags was understandably confusing and scary for their child, but Beth reassured her that firefighters were working hard to keep them safe.

Beth decided the best thing she could do for Grace was to teach her about giving back. Their local YMCA (the Anderson Munger YMCA in Koreatown) began collecting donations for fire stations and people who have been displaced. Beth shared, "They've worked non-stop and are just amazing! I wanted to help my daughter feel a tiny bit better about this horrible tragedy and show her we need to be helpers in any way that we can."

When Beth saw that the YMCA was asking for handmade notes to include in their care packages, she knew this was a perfect family activity. So they got to work.

Beth shared, "We talked about what we thought would make the firefighters feel supported, and what we could say that would make them know that the entire city is grateful for them." Grace's answer was to the point, which was merely that we need to tell them: "We are here for you."

Photo courtesy of Beth Crosby

Her first letter said "Hi my name is Grace and I am thinking about you. It makes me feel sad to hear what you are going through. But we are here for you! I'm 8 years old and I live in L.A. I hope to meet you one day. My friends and family and the whole city loves you!" She included a hopeful hand-drawn picture of a bird sitting perched by its nest, looking up at fire clouds with a rainbow on the horizon.

But it was their conversation after that really put things into perspective for Beth. When Grace was asked how she was feeling, she said she just hopes they can "keep going." She also relayed she felt just a little better knowing that maybe, just maybe, the cards and drawings would help firefighters and victims "not give up."

Other children sent over their letters/pictures, as well. @amfymca_ktown on Instagram shared notes from young kids like "Thank you for risking your own lives to save people from the fire." And "I appreciate your hard work. You are amazing," accompanied by their own heartfelt drawings.

On a pinned Instagram post, this YMCA noted that they're looking for more comforting and uplifting notes. They wrote: "Special project for ALL. You can do at home, with friends, school groups, companies, etc. These will be placed inside our care packages and delivered to many LAFD firehouses."

At the end of the day, Beth and so many others, just wanted to teach her kids that there are ways to feel less powerless in times of tragedy. She says, "I wanted to help my kid feel like she's contributing."