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Capital One Impact Initiative

He was young and homeless. The Ali Forney Center gave him⁠—and other LGBTQ youth⁠—hope.

He was young and homeless. The Ali Forney Center gave him⁠—and other LGBTQ youth⁠—hope.
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Capital One

In 2015, Skye Adrian became homeless. 19-years-old, gay and a recent New York City immigrant, he had no one to count on for support.

Skye AdrianCapital One

Until four years ago, Skye lived on the Caribbean island nation of Jamaica, which began to feel less and less safe for him due to the anti-LGBTQ laws that govern the country. Being a gay man in Jamaica is criminalized and can carry a jail sentence. For Skye, that was no way to live.

"I was tired of trying to be who I wasn't," he says. "I was tired of trying to change myself. I was tired of having to always watch my back just because of how I am—how I walk, how I talk, how I dress."

So Skye moved to New York City. He'd expected to live with family, but that quickly became a challenging situation. When he found himself homeless, he didn't want to go to a shelter because of the stigmas and stereotypes associated with living in one. Skye tried couch-surfing with a friend, but that arrangement became impossible quickly.

"Maybe a week or two of staying with my friend, he texted me that if I don't have sex with him or his friend, then I wouldn't be able to stay there," Skye says.

Unfortunately, this type of exploitation isn't uncommon. According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, LGBTQ homeless youth are more likely than their straight counterparts to be forced to exchange sex for a place to sleep. More than 58% of homeless LGBTQ youth have been sexually victimized.

Skye knew he had to get out of his situation, but his worries about a shelter weren't unfounded. Many homeless youth who identify as LGBTQ have been mistreated at traditional homeless shelters—especially if those shelters are primarily geared towards adults.

Skye needed help, and the Ali Forney Center (AFC) was there for him.

The Ali Forney CenterCapital One

AFC is a different type of shelter system. Founded in 2002 in memory of a homeless gender non-conforming youth who sought justice for his peers, AFC was created to keep LGBTQ kids on the street safe, give them the tools they needed to thrive, and provide medical, psychological, and case management services. It's now the largest organization in the country dedicated to helping homeless LGBTQ youth.

"The idea was to open a shelter that was LGBTQ supportive," says Alex Roque, AFC's Director of Development. "We opened in the basement of a church with six cots. Our first night, we had 20 young people waiting for those six beds, and within a very short period of time, it became 100 young people waiting for those six beds. Within about six months we'd seen about 1,000 young people trying to get into those six beds."

Today, AFC has 19 locations throughout New York City. It helps more than 1,400 teens a year, and operates a drop-in shelter that's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year that serves as a point of entry for any LGBTQ youth looking for support. For teens that don't have a safe place to sleep, the center isn't just a beacon—it's a lifesaver.

"LGBTQ young people are eight times more likely to be homeless than non-LGBTQ young people," Roque says. "Once homeless, LGBTQ youth are also eight times more likely to experience violence in the streets. They are also more likely to experience substance abuse and HIV infection as well as suicidal ideation."

When Skye came in for an intake interview at AFC, his fears lessened.

The Ali Forney CenterCapital One

From his first moments at AFC in Harlem, he knew he would be taken care of. He was immediately put at ease by AFC's commitment to justice for LGBTQ youth, and the services he was offered quickly made him feel safer than he had felt in a long time. "It was a beautiful experience," he says.

During his first visit, Skye was connected to a case manager who assessed his needs. His case manager also worked with Skye to help him find housing, legal aid, and work. There was also a medical clinic on-site, so Skye knew exactly where he could go if he needed to see a doctor or speak to a counselor about his mental health.

When Skye needed support concerning his rights as an immigrant, AFC had a representative from the Urban Justice Center come in to help. And through his involvement with AFC's Learning, Employment, Advancement, and Placement program (LEAP), Skye gained valuable job and networking skills, all while being paid for his participation.

"One of the major issues for an immigrant is a consistent or steady source of income," Skye says. "That's not necessarily a reality for most immigrants. The center made that a reality for me."

AFC's partnership with Capital One is helping create that reality for more and more of its clients.

An event at The Ali Forney CenterCapital One

LEAP is made possible through AFC's work with several state agencies and Capital One's Future Edge initiative, which bridges the gaps between underserved communities and technology—helping people master the skills they need to succeed in the 21st century economy. The LEAP program, Alex Roque says, is perhaps AFC's most concrete response to homelessness.

He adds: "A lot of the work that we do is stabilizing, helping to heal, addressing trauma, addressing substance abuse; but no other program that we offer is really focusing directly on building skills towards [helping clients gain] the independence they would like for themselves."

Capital One provides financial support for LEAP and their associates volunteer directly with AFC clients. "The Capital One partnership specifically supports the financial literacy, financial mobility, financial engagement and financial development of our young people," Roque says.

"The program includes helping our young people understand what opening a bank account means, helping young people understand what budgeting means, and what establishing credit means and why it's important."

These are things that a parent or other caregiver might teach a child. For the clients who may not have any connection to their parents or the community they left behind, AFC takes on that responsibility.

"It goes beyond a company or a corporate identity, it's representing humanity in a very human way," Roque says. "Volunteers from all walks of life connect with our young people, talk to our young people, are part of their lives, and don't want anything from them except to help them succeed."

For Skye, the support he received has been life-changing. Now 23, he's devoting his career to ensuring that future generations of LGBTQ youth don't have to fight for help the way that he did.

Skye Adrian and Alex RoqueCapital One

Today, Skye is a policy consultant with New York City's Youth Action Board, a position he was appointed to based on the advocacy work he began at AFC. This position has allowed him to speak about his experience as a homeless youth, fight for the rights of his peers, and work on creating policies that will alleviate the strife that homeless youth face.

This year, Skye has also started his training in aircraft operations. It's something he says would never have been possible if he hadn't worked with AFC.

As he looks toward his future, he's committed to making the world a safer place for all LGBTQ youth, especially those who are experiencing homelessness.

"Homelessness doesn't define someone's capability," Skye says.

Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.


The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

Should babysitters be expected to clean?

When it comes to babysitting, you can hit the jackpot with someone who not only enjoys hanging out with your kiddos but also cleans out of boredom. The only babysitter I've had that experience with is my mom, but I do hear they do exist. While walking into a spotless house after a much-needed night out would be amazing, it's not really part of a standard babysitting package.

Typically, whoever babysits for you is solely there to focus on the well-being of your children. They feed them snacks, play games with them, and follow their bedtime routine to the letter. Then they hang out on your couch reminding Netflix that they're still watching and wait for you to return. Sure, they clean up dishes from dinner and whatever toys were pulled out during their time with your kids, but they don't typically clean your house.

But in a private parenting group I belong to, a long debate was started when a mom asked a group of 260k of her closest friends if it would be appropriate for a parent to ask a babysitter to clean their home.


The anonymous mom explained that her college-aged daughter had recently started babysitting for a family, but on the second day, her duties suddenly changed. There was a list of chores waiting for the babysitter that included cleaning the family's dishes and cleaning up messes that were there before the sitter arrived.

This revelation set off a firestorm of comments with many agreeing that anything outside of cleaning up after the children while they're in your care is a separate job. But not everyone was on the same page and it was clear that this was a topic that was going to cause some intense debate. Since summer months are here, there's no wonder this topic is coming up and views are split.

woman holding kid in the street

Should babysitters be expected to clean, one mom asks.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Scary Mommy recently published an article posing a similar question, only this was coming from a parent who wanted her babysitter to clean while her children slept. Elizabeth Narins explains that she and her husband are stretched thin and have an active toddler she jokingly calls a "toy tornado."

"Given the amount of housework that clearly needs to be done, paying someone to sit on our toy-covered couch during naps or after bedtime just seems... inefficient," Narins wrote before posing the question. "Is it completely out of line for me to ask her to declutter when my kids are in bed?"

Whether it's the expert interviewed for the Scary Mommy article or the parents in the private group, there does seem to be one common theme among the discourse: Any additional chores should be clarified in the original job description, and if it wasn't, then it should be directly brought up in a conversation with the babysitter.

Many parents in the comments believed that a housekeeper should be hired in addition to the babysitter, while others thought the babysitter should be offered more money for the additional work. But there were several people who thought it was just common courtesy for a babysitter to clean the house while the kids were asleep.

It may seem that you're paying a babysitter to do nothing while your children sleep, but you're paying them to be there in the event of an emergency. No matter which side of the debate you're on, it seems proper communication about expectations will save everyone a headache in the future.

Do you think cleaning should be expected from a babysitter?


This article originally appeared on 6.8.23

CBS Mornings|YouTube

Video shows group of strangers trying to free man from burning car

Getting into a car crash is not something people hope they experience in their lifetimes, and if it does happen you hope it's just a minor fender bender. Unfortunately not all car accidents are minor. One man found himself in a pretty major accident on a Minnesota highway becoming trapped in his car.

According to eye witnesses, the man struck a light pole on the highway, landing with the driver's side of the car pinned against the guardrail. The car quickly becomes engulfed in flames as other drivers rush to the man's side in an attempt to free him from the fiery vehicle. Kadir Tolla caught the whole thing on his dash-cam accidentally when he jumped out of his running car to help.

Multiple people fought flames trying desperately to pull the car door open to let the driver out, but the guardrail thwarts their efforts repeatedly. At some point, Tolla runs to grab a large piece of hard plastic he found on the road and attempts to break the window. Nothing seems to be going in favor of the civilian rescuers.


"He was saying, 'pull me out, pull me out, pull me out,'" Tolla tells Fox News. "We could crack the door a little bit, you know, give him a little air. It [the flames] was actually smacking us in our face but we was just jumping back."

Eventually a "highway helper" arrived and breaks the glass on the driver's side window, which allows the other drivers to pull the man through the window, carrying him to safety. They got him out just in the knick of time because before they could get the unidentified man away from the car, the flames began to dance right where the driver was sitting seconds before.

The entire video is heart stopping, and shows the power of everyday people working together to save a stranger. Watch the heroic rescue below.