Dad and productivity expert shares why he and his wife give each other 'family PTO'
The gift of time is the best thing you can give to your spouse.

A father cooking with his son
Any manager knows that giving people time off isn’t just good for the employee, but for the company as well, because it increases productivity when they’re back at work. “The productivity, creativity, bringing new ideas forward isn’t the person who’s working crazy hours,” said Katie Denis, VP and lead researcher at Project: Time Off tells LinkedIn. “It’s someone who’s getting outside of their day-to-day.”
Much like a battery, people need time to recharge.
“There is a lot of research that says we have a limited pool of cognitive resources,” says Allison Gabriel, an assistant professor of management at Virginia Commonwealth University, according to Inc.com. “When you are constantly draining your resources, you are not being as productive as you can be. If you get depleted, we see performance decline. You’re able to persist less and have trouble solving tasks.”
If people need time off to be effective at work, then it should be the same for parents. A parent at wit’s end can’t be effective without a substantial break from their kids. Without getting some downtime, parents are at risk of having a serious case of burnout.
Matt Ragland, an expert in productivity and the creator economy, agrees. That’s why he’s taken his professional know-how and carried it over to his life as a father. In a viral tweet he sent on July 23, Ragland explains how he and his wife will start giving each other PTO or paid time off.
“My wife and I are working on a family PTO (parent’s time off) plan,” he wrote on Twitter. “Here’s what we are starting with: 1 night per week, Half day weekend per month, One full weekend day per quarter.”
With Ragland’s plan, one parent watches the kids solo while the other recharges, and then they switch.
“Parenting little kids is one of the most meaningful parts of life, but the gift of time is one of the best ways to support your spouse,” he continued. “We use these times to meet friends, sleep in, go camping, play golf (me), long runs (her), read and journal, or just chill. It’s hard to run life’s race on an empty tank, and these times are great ways to refuel and recharge.”
This arrangement is excellent because it mutually benefits both people in the marriage. Plus, they should have no problem letting the other person enjoy their time off because they want to enjoy theirs, too. It’ll also provide some relief on super stressful days when they have a day off just around the corner and know they have time off coming soon.
The kids will probably enjoy having parents with recharged batteries, too.
The plan was a hit with Ragland’s followers, many of whom say they want to implement it in their families.
Love this! I think as parents, we often sacrifice our happiness, our time, and our priorities for our kids. And rightfully so. But sometimes it's important to refuel the tank so we can be even better parents (and partners) when it's that time. Kudos to you Matt!
— Craig Hewitt (@TheCraigHewitt) July 23, 2023
Love this idea. Gonna pitch this idea to wifey for us
— Cathryn (@cathrynlavery) July 23, 2023
Excellent sentiment here. People need to realize that having little moments like these MAKE you better parents. It really matters.
— TheIndustrialGuy (@Indus_Guy) July 23, 2023
One of the hardest things about being a parent is waking up and wondering who you are because you gave so much time and attention to your family that you forgot about yourself. Ragland’s plan is great because it gives parents back not only some of their time, but a sense of themselves as well.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."