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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision

Spoiler alert: They’re totally fine with it.

childless couples, kid-free life, regrets of seniors
via Pexels

Childless people over 50 discuss their decision.

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women who’ve decided to opt out of motherhood.

“You will regret it!” is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think they’ll have such awful regrets? Because they often say they’ll wind up “lonely and sad” when they’re older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older they’ll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never “feel complete” unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless.

Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: What’s lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they’re in the minority.

An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons they’ve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a “serious” question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked “People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?”

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children.

A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought they’d be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

1. Never had any desire.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." — IBeTrippin

2. No desire. No regrets.

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." — BornaCrone

3. Mixed feelings.

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.
But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." — ProfessorOzone

4. They never visit.

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." — joevilla1369

5. It wasn't an option.

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." — MaerakiStudioMe

6. Grandkids are cooler.

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" — Zublor

7. I'd be a bad parent.


"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." — Videoman7189

8. I'd rather be the cool aunt and uncle.

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." — laudinum

9. Loneliness is underrated.


"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" — Hermits_Truth

10. No diaper changes and no regrets.

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." — fwubglubbel

11. Zero desire.

"I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." — GrowlKitty

12. D.I.N.K.

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" — EggOntheRun

13. Some regrets

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though." — Johnny-Virgil


This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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Joy

American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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People applaud man for calling out his sister over jaw-droppingly bad baby name choice

He called the name "completely unacceptable."

via Canva/Photos

A brother and sister in a disagreement.

Like it or not, the name your parents choose for you can significantly impact your life, whether it’s how you’re treated in school by peers, your professional prospects, or how well you do in the dating arena. A name is nothing to joke about. That’s why an uncle-to-be is mad at his sister. He thinks she isn’t taking naming her unborn daughter seriously and fears it will have dire consequences for the girl in the future.

What started as a funny joke between the brother (a biology student) and his sister (a nurse) has become a bone of contention between the siblings. It all started when the brother sent his sister a humorous list of potential names for his niece based on medical terms.

“I knew she was struggling, so in addition to the $900 wooden crib on her list that I got for her, I gave her a list of (obviously) joke baby names. We have a really close relationship, and it was in line with both our senses of humor,” the brother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum.

“She's a nurse, and I'm a biology student, so all the names were medications, infections, unpleasant animals, etc., that all sound like lovely girls' names out of context,” he continued. “Some of them were a little bit obscure, sure, but I included some obvious ones like ‘Viagra’ and ‘Hernia’ for good measure.

baby, newborn, baby name, baby crib, sleeping baby, birth A newborn baby sleeping. via Canva/Photos

The problem was that the sister liked one of the names and plans on giving it to her daughter.

“Malassezia. The baby's name is Malassezia. One of the names on my joke list. Outside of the immediate issues (nearly impossible to pronounce on the first try, the ‘ass’ smack dab it the middle of it, the first syllable being mal-, literally meaning bad or evil), it's also the name of a very common fungal infection,” he wrote. “One that my sister and I are both genetically predisposed to. One that we've both had multiple times throughout our lives. Her daughter will almost certainly catch it at some time!” The brother told his sister that the name is “completely unacceptable.”

What is Malassezia?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, Malassezia occurs when “yeast that occurs as part of your skin’s natural flora multiplies and infects the hair follicles,” the website reads. “The condition causes itchy pimples to form on your face, scalp and upper body. Healthcare providers treat this fungal infection with topical and systemic antifungal medications.”

The mother completely understands the downside of the name but insists that “it's so obscure that no one will ever think twice about it.” She simply likes the sound of the name. Unsure of what to do, the brother posted the story on Reddit to see if he was in the wrong.

birth certificate, baby name, baby footprint, baby hospital, doctor A doctor taking the baby's footprint. via Canva/Photos

The vast majority of the commenters thought he was totally right to demand the baby’s name be changed.

"I share your frustration, and you're looking out for your niece. While your sis is right that it's her parental right, you're not stepping out of line -- you're family and you're cautioning her,” one commenter wrote. "Tell [the father] so he can veto it,” another commenter added. “Also, how is your sister not thinking about the embarrassment that is going to come with this name? The doctors at every baby appointment will know. I wouldn't be surprised if doctors and nurses giggle when they see her chart. And when she's in school, kids will likely find out what her name means and bully her. Tell your sister to think about her daughter's future. She's thinking too much about her feelings and not thinking about her daughter who would have to live with that name."

One commenter broke the name into chunks and found it has multiple meanings. “Mal = bad + ass = bad ass. So we have the nickname. Now Ezia - Hebrew for elegance? e-Zia as in electronic aunt (Italian?) or electric cottage/home/campervan (Pueblo?),” they wrote.

The only people who thought the brother was wrong were those who believed his sister was pulling a fast one on him. “You gave a joke name list and seem unable to tell she's joking back,” they wrote.

joke, siblings, gotcha, gif, family Understand Schitts Creek GIF by CBC Giphy

Ultimately, just about everyone agrees that the brother was right to speak up. Names matter, and kids have to live with them their entire lives. Hopefully, his sister takes the hint before her daughter has a name better suited to a microscope slide than a birth certificate.

This article originally appeared in May. It has been updated.

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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Toddler impressively drums and sings 'Pocketful of Sunshine' with surgical precision

"Can’t poop in the potty but can perfectly replicate a song 😭"

Representative photo credit: Canva

Toddlers drumming are cute. Toddlers who can actually play drums are something else.

People can learn most things if they really put their minds to it, but there's no question some humans are born with innate abilities that defy expectations and explanation. We call those people prodigies, and while toddlerhood might be too early to definitively use that label, a tiny tot with a stick, a shovel, and a song in his heart has people tossing around the term. When you see the video of little Remi performing Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine," you'll see why.

Toddlers often "sing" along to songs, but rarely do they sing with anything close to perfect pitch and even more rarely do they keep perfect time. Not only does Remi do both, but he keeps separate rhythms with each hand—plastic sandbox shovel in one, stick in the other—all while singing gibberish lyrics to the identifiable tune.

Watch:

@rockinremi

can't blame him, it stays in your head once you hear it. 🤣☀️ also how fitting of a song for someone who is always so happy & a ray of sunshine 🥰 @Natasha Bedingfield #pocketfullofsunshine #toddlerdrummer #toddlersings #musicaltoddler #heartwarrior #chdawareness #sweetboy #toddlermom #fyp #foryoupage #proudmama

Not a discernible word uttered, yet so very impressive. People had thoughts:

"He’s singing in Simlish lmao so cute 😭 also more talent than me"

"The gibberish in perfect melody is killing meeee I love smart babies 😭"

"Mee me may mayyyyy!"

"Forget about the singing, he’s playing two different rhythms with each hand. Mind blown seriously."

"Holding down a beat and singing at that age is insane!!!!!"

"I am literally astonished. memorizing melody, singing it back with the correct notes on key?! While drumming??? Literal prodigy in the making."

"When they say some people are just born with it- this is what that looks like. Absolutely amazing."

"Can’t poop in the potty but can perfectly replicate a song 😭"

"It’s actually so hard to sing and drum."

"I think he's a prodigy. Very impressive!"

Even trained musicians weighed in on this little pocketful of sunshine's talents.

"I am a highly trained musician. He is…a natural percussionist. He also sings incredibly well for his age. This kid has music pouring out of him. He can pattern phrases and complicated rhythms."

"I’ve been drumming for 26 years. Dude is a natural and has exquisite dynamic control. And he can sing on top? Brilliant! ✨"

"Vocal coach here—he can even hear vocal dynamics (the volume increases and decreases in his singing) and is able to actively apply them WHILE keeping a complicated rhythm for his age...you guys might have a prodigy. Mozart at 7 years old left Handel's messiah and was able to rewrite it all FROM MEMORY. your son is remembering the beat, Melody and dynamics...you guys might want to get him a coach!!"

"I'm a music teacher, and his natural ability to figure out the beat and keep it, is something I struggle teaching kids who have been playing for years. little prodigy in the making friends, get him into lessons!!"

Many people suggested getting him a drum set and a coach. The drum set is already taken care of—Santa brought him one for Christmas—and he plays it a lot.

@rockinremi

late night jam sesh before bedtime 🤘🏼 🥁 🎶 #toddlerdrummer #toddlersings #musicaltoddler #heartwarrior #chdawareness #drummer #chdwarrior #proudmama #musickid #toddlermom #heartmom

Remi's mom Jessica writes in a comment that Remi started showing signs that he loved drumming and was able to carry a beat at around age 2 1/2. (In the drumset video above, he's 3 years and 4 months.)

Jessica also shares that Remi has a special affinity for Elvis Presley. He even told her, "Mama, Remi the real Elvis!" He may very well be.

@rockinremi

Replying to @Jessica Steinert @Elvis Official has gotten this boy through major things in his life, like his open heart surgery. He literally calls himself Elvis ⚡️❤️‍🩹 #toddlerdrummer #toddlersings #musicaltoddler #heartwarrior #chdawareness #toddlermom #fyp #foryoupage #musickid #proudmom #elvispresley

Musical prodigies usually arise from some combination of nature and nurture, possessing an inherent musical capacity and being raised in an environment that feeds that ability. Some have tried to argue that anyone can become a "prodigy" with enough early exposure and systematic practice, but that doesn't really explain kids like Remi. You can't teach the average two or three-year-old to drum with both hands playing different beats while keeping steady time, and while singing in tune with inflections—at least not without a ton of work.

When an ability appears without much effort, that sure seems to be an indicator of innate talent. Any talent has to be nurtured and practice is necessary, of course, but there are lots of kids who start music lessons and practice at a young age who don't become Mozarts by age seven.

One 2020 study found that what differentiated musical prodigies from other young musicians was a propensity to report "flow" during practice, the intensity of their practice before adolescence, and the source of their motivation when they began to play.

Perhaps it's just a matter of all the elements coming together—innate capacity, internal motivation, intense practice, and some intangible thing that makes the musical magic happen. Whatever it is, since the original video went viral, Remi has gotten older, and even better.

@rockinremi

🎶 Spooky, scary, Remington 🎶 Like I said, he puts the "jam" in pajamas 🤪🎃 happy October! Remi has been so excited for Halloween season to be here!! 👻 #heartwarrior #fyp #foryou #drummer #halloweenmusic

Wherever musical prodigy comes from, it's sure fun to see it emerging in such a tiny little human. Can't wait to see what Remi's future holds.

You can follow Remi's musical adventures on TikTok.

This article originally appeared in June. It has been updated.

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Singer Benson Boone surprised hundreds of elementary school kids by joining their 'bike bus'

"This is what you get when you combine good music, movement & community!!"

Image courtesy of David Benhaim/Ready Go Pictures

Benson Boone surprised students in Portland with Bike Bus World.

Biking home from school got a lot better for a group of students in Portland, Oregon, thanks to pop singer Benson Boone. Boone joined a fully-packed bike bus on October 3, 2025, during a tour stop in the city after he was asked by Sam Balto, co-founder of Bike Bus World.

Before his show, Boone showed up for the kids and the Portland community with the biking collaboration made possible thanks to social media.

"Two weeks before the ride we posted a video inviting Benson to join our Bike Bus," Balto tells Upworthy. "Thanks to thousands of people tagging him and sharing the video a week later his manager reached out to get more details. Four hours before the school day ended I got a call saying they wanted to ride, so we surprised the kids after school with an amazing Bike Bus ride home."

Boone hopped on a bike and rode home with students, who blasted his music from a speaker as they rode. They went absolutely wild and sang along to some of his biggest hits. Families and more kids lined the streets along the route to say hello and join in on the fun.

"Benson Boone is the kindest, most genuine individual I have ever met. He was chatting with the kids, asking their name, answering questions, taking selfies and singing along with them," says Balto. "At the end of the ride he stayed and signed hundreds of autographs for the kids. He really gave our children and community such an amazing gift."

benson boone, singer benson boone, benson boone bike, bike bus, bike bus students Benson Boone poses with students on Portland bike bus.Image courtesy of David Benhaim/Ready Go Pictures

Boone's willingness to join the ride and sacrifice his time and energy meant the world to students and parents, and people around the world shared their praises in the comment section.

"Did anyone else get emotional? Especially when their little voices started to sing!!" one wrote. Another added, "Core memories in the making 🥹." One viewer shared, "I love this for all of you!! So awesome that he could join in on the awesomeness of your bike bus!!" And another added, "I'd say Benson's heart grew even more than it already has.....Oohhh boy now I'm crying because those beautiful voices 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛"

Balto, also a physical education teacher, started Bike Bus World in 2020 to encourage kids to get active by biking to and from school together. The organization provides "organizers with the tools and guidance to create bike buses, helping them advocate for active transportation infrastructure and policy, as well as securing funding both locally and nationally."

The movement has gained massive momentum, and back in January 2025, singer Justin Timberlake also joined Balto and students on a bike bus ride.

As one of the parents who rode commented on a video: 'This was so fun! It took a lot to unseat K-pop demon hunters in our house but you did it Benson Boone? Thanks for riding home from school with our kiddos last week!! If your play counts go up in the 97211, this is why!!'"

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