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Helping the elderly doesn't have to be hard. Here are 5 ideas you may not have considered.

seniors, volunteer, time, kindness, joy

Sharing your time with the elderly doesn't have to be hard.

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Dignity Health

Being a caretaker for an elderly loved one is a full-time job. It's tough. It's rewarding. It's life-changing.

So let's take a second to give it up for all the people who are taking care of their elderly loved ones and friends today.

The happiness and love these caregivers bring to the lives of the elderly can't be overstated. But it's not just transformative for the senior who's getting the help that they need — it impacts the caregiver's lives in a big way as well.


Unfortunately, however, there are many seniors who aren't lucky enough to have that compassion in their lives.

As life expectancy continues to rise, many of us can look forward to living well into our 80s, but that can also lead to new stresses, especially for those who don't have loved ones around to help when everyday tasks become difficult.

For example, what happens to the senior who doesn't have children to take care of them? Or perhaps their spouse who carried out most of the day-to-day chores suddenly passes away? That's why it's important for community members not to forget the senior citizens who might need a little help, kindness, compassion and emotional support.

You may have already thought about wanting to lend a hand to the aging population, but perhaps you don't know where to start. You might also be familiar with the hard work caregivers do, and feel like you're not exactly cut out for something like that.

Here's some good news though: despite what you might think, you do have what it takes to help. And you don't have to be a full-time caregiver in order to make a real change in a senior's life.

Here are just five ways that you can give back to your elders and enrich your own life as well.

volunteer, groceries, elderly, struggle, help

You can help the elderly with their groceries.

Photo from Pixabay

1. Volunteer in your community, even if it's unstructured.

No matter where you live, there are senior citizens who need your help. A great way to get started giving back is to simply be mindful of opportunities that appear in the moment. Do you see an elderly person struggling to get their groceries to the door? Ask if you can help. Is there someone in your building who may be delighted by a short visit or an invitation for a walk? Spend some time with them. Offer to mow their lawn or water their plants. See if they need some help washing the car. Make and share a meal with them.

It's often hard for older people to ask for help themselves. But if you just show up and say, "I'm here if you need me," it takes the onus off of them. Even something as small as giving an elderly person a ride to the store or bringing a them their mail makes an impact.

seniors, technology, care home, tutorial

Volunteers share time and tutor how to use technology.

Photo from Burst taken by Nicole De Khors

2. Spend time at a senior center or a care home.

Did you know that many folks who live in senior care facilities have very few visitors? In fact, recent research suggests that approximately 6o percent of residents may have no visitors at all. The reasons why are far too many to enumerate here, but the reality is that the seniors who live in such residences may feel lonely or out of place, which can certainly take a toll on both their mental and physical health.

That's where you come in.

Most senior living facilities welcome volunteers. And there are so many things you can do, though just spending time with residents is an excellent first step.

Do you have a skill that you could teach or a service you could offer? You can turn a few hours a week into an experience that both you and the seniors you bond with will remember forever. In Raleigh, North Carolina, for example, a group called Senior TechEd teaches the elderly how to master the latest technology.

If you're frustrated by the fact that your own grandparents didn't get how to use a smartphone before you came along with a tutorial, consider reaching out to a care facility to see if you can provide the same service to other seniors in the area. Not only will they thank you for it, they'll probably stop using "lol" to mean "lots of love."

3. Support your elders by listening to them. You might learn a thing or two.

It may feel like people who are older don't have to worry about the same things you do. But once you hit retirement, life isn't just a pleasant existence of taking walks, watching TV, and getting the best deals at restaurants. Older folks worry about the same things anyone under the age of 65 do — money, friendships, the stress of day-to-day life. They just might not have anyone to discuss their concerns with.

One way to help is by looking for opportunities to be that obliging ear for them. Believe it or not, there are actually organizations, like The Friendship Line at The Institute on Aging in San Francisco, that help you do just that. The program connects volunteers with seniors who need someone to talk to. In some cases, these volunteers may be the senior's only point of social contact, so the service they provide is invaluable.

You don't have to live in San Francisco or even be a member of an organization like The Friendship Line to help, though. Consider doing your own outreach. There's likely a senior in your community who would love to hear from you. Pick up the phone, dial their number, and ask how they're really doing. You might be surprised by the bond that forms out of it.

social interactions, volunteers, nature walk, seniors

Taking a senior out for a nice nature walk.

Photo from Burst taken by Avelino Calvary Martinez

4. Seniors love having fun. Join them.

Kindness is important, but so is fun. Sometimes, we forget that older people like doing fun things just as much as anyone else. Sure, they may not be able to ride as many roller coasters (so maybe put the Six Flags excursion on hold), but if you're thinking of volunteering, don't mistake "helping" for "just sitting there quietly and doing nothing except drinking tea."

Here are some other, less traditional ideas: organize a nature walk for the seniors at a local center, lead a 45-minute-dance club for seniors once a week, teach a craft class, or start a drama group or book club. Whatever your passion is in life, why not see if you could turn it into an opportunity to brighten the lives of the seniors in your community? (Except if your passion is riding rollercoasters. The inner ear isn't what it used to be at 70!)

dog, cat, safe animals, animal organizers

Opportunity to bring in the right kind of chill and safe pets.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

5. Send in the animals (but only the chill, safe ones)!

Did you know that animals can help reduce stress? Just stroking the soft fur of a dog, cat or even guinea pig can make people feel a little bit better. Not every senior citizen can take care of a pet full-time, but that doesn't mean that they can't or shouldn't enjoy the benefits that being with one provides. In fact, some care facilities have joined forces with local animal organizations to connect seniors with valuable animal time. Not only can this help seniors feel more connected, it allows those who have a hard time interacting with people experience an important bond.

If this sounds up your ally, see if you can bring some animals to seniors who live in a local facility. Do you have an chill animal of your own? Call up one of the local organizations that help seniors and arrange for some time for your pet to visit (but make sure it's okay with the facility first).

Many of us believe that for kindness to be effective, it has to be all sacrifice and grand gestures.

But that's not true at all. Spend a few minutes a day or an hour a week helping the people around you. It can be as little a gesture as just say "hi," to your elderly neighbor when they go out to water their garden. The act may be small — the difference you'll be making won't be.

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet

A woman zipping up her lips.

There are times to speak up, moments when it’s best to say nothing, and opportunities be very considerate in your response. But when you’re on the receiving end of a back-handed compliment, a foolish remark, or a coworker takes you down a peg, and your emotions are up, it can be hard to have a thoughtful response. Often, we say something we shouldn’t.

How is it that some folks fly off the handle and say things they’ll later regret, while others can stay calm and remove themselves from the situation or take the high ground? One way to be less impulsive with your words is to use the ā€œname it to tame itā€ neuroscience hack, originally coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel. When used properly, it allows you to step back from the moment and choose the best response in a challenging situation.


shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A man saying "be quiet."via Canva/Photos

How to use the ā€˜name it to tame it’ hack

When someone upsets you, the first thing to do is to go inside yourself and describe the emotion that you feel in your body. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you afraid? Do you feel rejected? Are you disappointed? The moment you name the emotion, it will begin to subside and give you the emotional and mental room to respond to the person who caused the negative emotion, rather than impulsively reacting.

How to respond to a reactive emotion so you don’t fly off the handle:

Event happens:

1. Your body stiffens up

2. You feel an intense emotion

3. You examine the emotion and give it a name: ā€œMy body is telling me I am angry.ā€

4. You should feel the emotion beginning to subside

5. Choose your response instead of being impulsive

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A woman zipping up her mouth.via Canva/Photos

Why does ā€˜name it to tame it’ work?

ā€œName it to tame itā€ works because, when we have a strong emotional reaction, our lizard brain kicks in, and we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The lizard brain is not known for giving thoughtful and strategic responses to challenging situations. When we name the emotion, our prefrontal cortex, or the thinking brain, kicks in. The thinking brain looks at the situation and says, ā€œAlright, we don’t need to run or fight here. It's best to give a strategic response.ā€

When we tune into the negative emotions by naming them, they relax because they feel heard, like when a child has hurt their knee or a loved one has real concern and you gives them undivided attention. Once the emotions are named, they are tamed. Then, you are more likely to respond to the negative person with grace and speak from the best part of yourself.

Dr. Dan Siegel, who coined the phrase ā€œName it to tame it,ā€ explains the brain science behind the technique in the video below. He does a great job of explaining how it allows us to transfer our thoughts from the downstairs brain (the lizard brain) to the upstairs brain (the thinking brain), so we can calm down and respond appropriately to the situation.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Joy

A man tried to fix a female golfer's swing. He didn't know she was a PGA pro.

ā€œWhat you are doing there … you shouldn’t be doing that.ā€

mansplaining, golf, swing change golf, humor, golfing, sports, athletes, female athletes, womens sports, sexism
Representative Image from Canva

A man tried to tell a pro golfer she was swing too slow.

We’re all probably familiar with the term ā€œmansplaining,ā€ when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing way. Often, this takes the form of a man explaining a subject to a woman who already knows it at an expert level. The female neuroscientist who was told by a man that she should read a research paper she actually wrote comes to mind.

Often, mansplaining can show up in small interactions that minimize or infantilize a woman's knowledge and expertise. It can be a man spouting off facts because he thinks it makes him seem interesting, or giving unsolicited fitness advice at the gym in a poorly disguised flirting attempt. But sometimes the irony at play is just too much to bear. Frankly, it's often delicious.


In 2024, some next-level mansplaining was caught in the wild. Georgia Ball, a professional golfer and coach who’s racked up over 3 million likes on TikTok for all her tips and tricks of the sport, was minding her own business while practicing a swing change at the driving range.


golf, practice tee, driving range, range balls, golf clubs People practicing on the driving range. via Canva/Photos

A man tries to give a female PGA pro golf tips

It takes all of two seconds on Google to see that when it comes to incorporating a swing change, golfers need to swing slower, at 50-75% their normal speed…which is what Ball was doing. And this is what prompted some man to insert his ā€œadvice.ā€

In the clip, we hear the man say ā€œWhat you are doing there … you shouldn’t be doing that.ā€ Exhibiting the patience of a nun, Ball simply tells him that she’s going through a swing change. But her attempts at reason are unfortunately interrupted, multiple times, when the man repeatedly assures her that, since he’s been playing golf for 20 years, he knows what he’s talking about.

He then insists, repeatedly cutting her off, that she’s going too slow on her swing and should be following through. Cue Ball’s incredulous look to the camera.

Watch the whole, cringe-inducing interaction here:

@georgiagolfcoach

Can you believe he said this? šŸ˜³ā›³ļøšŸ‘€ #golf #golfswing #golflife #golftok #golftiktok #golfer #golfing #golfgirl #golfpro #golftips #golfclub #drivingrange


Hoping to appease him, Ball finally gives a hearty swing, writing ā€œI knew I had to make this a good oneā€ on the onscreen text. As the ball sails through the air, the man says, ā€œSee how much better that was?" completely taking credit for her swing. Which is hilarious because she didn't change a thing she was doing.

Poor Ball then tries to tell him that even the ā€œbest players in the worldā€ slow down their swing when going through a swing change. And she'd know. Not only is she a golf coach, but she's also a certified PGA professional. ā€œNo, I understand what you’re saying, but I’ve been playing golf for 20 years,ā€ the man repeats. At this point, Ball is just ā€œtrying to keep it together.ā€

golf group, fiarway, co-ed golf group, tee time, links A group of people playing golf. via Canva/Photos

People in the comments couldn't handle the mansplaining

Sure, this guy might not have known who Ball was, but it’s pretty evident that the last thing she needed was this guy’s ā€œadvice.ā€ And thus, the ā€œmansplainingā€ jokes commenced in the comments section.

Here’s a small sampling:

ā€œAs a guy, this is the first time I’ve ever seen ā€˜mansplaining’ happen.ā€

ā€œThe way he took credit for your next swing.ā€

ā€œBut did you consider that he’s been playing golf for 20 years?ā€

ā€œ*implement nothing he says* ā€˜See how much better that was’ HAHAHAHAH.ā€

ā€œMy hope is that he comes across this video and it keeps him up at night."

Others couldn’t help but praise Ball for keeping her cool.

ā€œHe doesn’t even give you a chance to explain, just forces his opinion and advice onto you. Goon on you for staying calm and polite,ā€ one person wrote. Of course, others felt Ball was being ā€œtoo niceā€ to the man. One even exclaimed, ā€œthere’s no reason to be so polite!ā€

Ball told BBC that it wouldn't be in her nature to shut the man down harshly, even if that's what he deserved. "I wouldn't interrupt and say that," she says. "I suppose it's just the humble side of me."


@georgiagolfcoach

Play a hole with me ā›³ļøšŸŒšŸ½ā€ā™‚ļø25mph wind 🤯🤣 #golf #golftiktok #golftok #golfer #golfswing #golfing #golflife #golftips #golfcourse #golfclub #golfgirl #golfdrills #playaholewithme #golfpro


Perhaps worst of all, this kind of behavior is pretty common, especially for female athletes. A fellow female golfer even commented, ā€œSo glad you posted this because it is my BIGGEST frustration when I’m at the driving range. Unfortunately, men always feel the need to comment on my swing or want to coach me. Guys take note: Please don’t.ā€

On the bright side: as annoying as it is that Ball had to endure that (not to mention what it says about the very real b.s. that women in general have to put up with on the regular), she laughed it off and just went on about her life being awesome at what she does. Just like the other smart, capable women of the world. It’s almost like…maybe women don’t need advice, so much as they need

Ball isn't holding onto any grudges over the incident

"I have a lot of interaction with males and females every single day [on the course]. And I'd say it's mostly always positive," she says. "I'm just glad I can look back at it now and laugh about it because the majority of people and golfers are all just out to help each other."

Even though her time on the golf tee with the mansplainer was uncomfortable, the reaction to her discomfort has been positive. "The reaction has been so positive," she told the BBC. "All the support, the comments, the messages, it's just been so good. And I'm just so grateful for everything that's come through."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.


arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

maikon alves, maykon alves, agt, dance, robot dance, dance tutorials, tiktok dance, agt dance
Maikon Alves | Instagram

Maikon Alves has people shook over is robotic style dancing.

"The Robot" is a classic dance move that's been seen on dance floors since the early 1900s, according to Vox. The mechanical move was also mastered and brought to the mainstream by dance legend Michael Jackson.

And a dancer from Brazil has put his own modern (and humorous) twist on the dance technique. Maikon Alves has been turning heads on social media with moves so fluid and robotic that people around question if he's human.


Alves got a big break after a dance to to "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas went viral back in 2024—to say his moves are impressive would be an understatement. Alves popped his chest to the beat while slowly stepping in place making it look like he was gliding from move to move. Some movements were crisp and sharp like a robot while others were so fluid it was nearly unbelievable that it could be coming from a human.

Viewers respond to Maikon's moves

Comments on the video ranged between being in awe of his abilities to questioning if he was truly part robot.

"Loved. I like how everything is in sync - from the music to the moves to face expressions. šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘ and your cool personal style," one person writes.

"Doesn’t even look real it’s that good..!! Love this," someone says.

"You will be the dance instructor for the children of our AI overlords someday," a commenter thinks.

"Nah, this is God-level pop-locking," someone compliments.

"You are a legend!" Nicole Scherzinger, actress, singer and former member of the pop group and dance ensemble, Pussycat Dolls, wrote.

@maykonreplay

Minha apresentacao no AGT para vocĆŖs com as musicas originais… heheh. šŸ¤–ā¤ļø #agt #robot #talent

Alves' uncanny robot dance even made its way to Season 19 of America's Got Talent in 2024. His audition routine included pretending to play the violin and a fun moonwalk to robotic themed music.

During a June 2024 interview with Chupim Metropolitana, he shared about his experience on the show. "It was a dream come true because since I was a child I watched videos of the dancers I used as inspiration from there," he said. "It was magical."

Where is Maikon Alves now?

Since then, Alves has continued to display his unique robot dances on social media. Another robot dance he posted in July 2025 garnered over 60 million views on TikTok (@maykonreplay), where he has grown a strong following of fans in awe of his moves.

@maykonreplay

Hahahahahahaha

"I know it's talent but it low-key scares me," one viewer commented. And another added, "this gives me uncanny valley vibes. like great job, but I'm uncomfortable šŸ˜…."

How did Maikon Alves start dancing?

Alves shared more about how he got into dancing during his interview with Chupim Metropolitana.

"Since I was a kid I watched Michael Jackson videos in the living room. My mom would put them on," he said. "I watched the Michael Jackson videos and I took them as a reference. As I grew up, I saw other dancers too, like Chris Brown and Usher. And then I mixed everything, adding humor too. And I just kept growing."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Alves also explained that his style of robotic dancing has taken lots of "dedication", and it started by learning Michael Jackson's classic Moonwalk dance.

"I was very shy, so dancing with humor helped me a lot," he shared. "I watched his videos and practiced a lot. In the beginning it was very difficult. I did a lot of mime."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

letter, secret letter, love letter, fatherhood, secret child
via SHVETS production/Pexels and Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels

A letter found after his wife's death changed Tony Trapani's life.

Handwritten letters were a standard feature of human civilization for centuries, but the art of letter-writing has been lost in the digital age. Gone are the days when you would write down something important, send it off, and wait for a reply that may or may not ever come. Unlike modern-day "ghosting" or being "left on read," if someone didn't respond to a letter, it might mean they never even received it.

Such was the case of a letter sent to Tony Trapani in 1959 that his wife never showed him. Tony and his wife were married for 50 years despite the heartache of being unable to have children. "She wanted children,ā€ Trapani told Fox 17. "She couldn't have any. She tried and tried." Even though they endured the pain of infertility, Tony's love for his wife never wavered, and he cherished every moment they spent together.


When Tony was 81 years old, his wife passed away. He undertook the heartbreaking task of sorting out all of her belongings, including a mountain of papers stuffed into filing cabinets. Trapani diligently went through every single one.

pile of letters, old letters, handwritten letters, secret letter, fatherhood People used to save letters they received. Photo credit: Canva

That’s when he stumbled upon a carefully concealed letter in a filing cabinet, hidden for over half a century.

The letter was addressed to Tony and dated March 1959, but this was the first time he had seen it. His wife must have opened it, read it and hid it from him. The letter came from Shirley Childress, a woman Tony had once been close with before his marriage. She had reached out, reminiscing about their past and revealing a secret that would change Tony's world forever.

"Dear Tony, I bet you are surprised to hear from me after so many years. I was just thinking about you tonight like so many other nights. But I thought I would write you and find out how you are," the letter reads. "Tony, please don't be angry or surprised to hear this. I have a little boy. He is five years old now—grey eyes and beautiful black hair. What I am trying to say Tony is he is your son."

handwriting, writing a letter, secret letter, love letter, secret child Tony Trapani found a letter saying he had a son decades after it was sent.Photo credit: Canva

"Please, Tony if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please come and see him," Shirley wrote in the letter. "Every day he asks me where is his daddy and believe me Tony I can't even answer him anymore. I would be forever grateful to you if you would just see him. ... I'll close now hoping and praying you will answer. P.S. His name is Samuel Duane."

Now, Tony faced the fact that he had a son that would be around 60 years old and he set out to find him.

For over a year, Trapani’s sister tried to track down the mysterious Samuel Duane Childress, until she finally contacted his wife, Donna.

Tony and Samuel met in January 2015 and he felt like a new dad. After meeting his father, Samuel said his mother told him she sent the letter, but Tony never responded. "Why my wife didn't tell me," said Trapani, "I don't know. She wanted children. She couldn't have any. She tried and tried."

It's easy to understand why it may have been hard for Trapani's late wife, Dolly, to pass along that sort of news. Though we'll never know what exactly must have been in her heart and mind when she hid the letter all those years ago.

"I always asked my mom, I said, 'Well what does he look like?'' Samuel said. "She said, 'Well, go look in the mirror."

The two met and caught up on a lifetime of memories with the understanding that they could never change the past. "Just to know him now is so important to me. It's going to fill that void," Samuel said.

But just to be sure, Tony took a paternity test to ensure they were father and son. Stunning everyone involved, the test came back negative. Tony was not the father after all.

The news upset Tony and Samuel, but they still had a unique bond. They shared a relationship with Samuel’s mother and both have been on an incredibly wild ride after Tony found the mysterious letter.

handwriting, writing a letter, secret letter, love letter, secret child Letter-writing is a lost art in the digital age.Photo credit: Canva

ā€œThey're keeping that bond,ā€ Donna said. ā€œThat paper doesn't mean anything to him. That bond has been made—and we're going to move on from here.ā€

Tony Trapani passed away in 2017, leaving him just two short years to connect with the man he once believed to be his son. If he'd seen the letter earlier, maybe they would have had more time. But that's all in the past, and by all accounts, the men treasured the time they got together and the relationship that they did have — even if it was not the one they wished for.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.