Actor Kelvin Moon Loh was performing in a matinee of "The King and I" on Broadway when he heard a commotion in the audience.
Photo by Rob DiCaterino/Flickr.
During a particularly intense moment in the show, a young boy in the crowd started yelling and screaming. According to Loh, the boy's mother tried to lead him quietly out to the lobby, but the boy refused to go. A few members of the audience, frustrated by the disruption, started sniping at the mother.
“A few people just got upset," Loh told Upworthy. Even though the boy's cries had made it difficult to keep the show going, Loh couldn't fathom how anyone could give the boy and his mother grief.
It was clear to him that the child had autism.
“I was just emotional when I got off the stage." Loh said.
Kelvin Moon Loh. Photo via Kelvin Moon Loh, used with permission.
Loh felt terrible that a woman had worked up the courage to bring her son with autism to his show, only to have other audience members treat him like he had no right to be there.
“I thought that what was happening wasn't right," Loh said.
Later that day, he posted about the incident on Facebook (emphasis mine) and pulled no punches:
"I am angry and sad.
Just got off stage from today's matinee and yes, something happened. Someone brought their autistic child to the theater.
That being said- this post won't go the way you think it will.
You think I will admonish that mother for bringing a child who yelped during a quiet moment in the show. You think I will herald an audience that yelled at this mother for bringing their child to the theater. You think that I will have sympathy for my own company whose performances were disturbed from a foreign sound coming from in front of them.
No."
He proceeded to ask his fellow performers and audience members a very tough question:
"Instead, I ask you- when did we as theater people, performers and audience members become so concerned with our own experience that we lose compassion for others?
The theater to me has always been a way to examine/dissect the human experience and present it back to ourselves. Today, something very real was happening in the seats and, yes, it interrupted the fantasy that was supposed to be this matinee but ultimately theater is created to bring people together, not just for entertainment, but to enhance our lives when we walk out the door again.
It so happened that during 'the whipping scene', a rather intense moment in the second act, a child was heard yelping in the audience. It sounded like terror. Not more than one week earlier, during the same scene, a young girl in the front row- seemingly not autistic screamed and cried loudly and no one said anything then.
How is this any different?"
He then described the moment it all happened, as he experienced it from the stage:
"His voice pierced the theater. The audience started to rally against the mother and her child to be removed.
I heard murmurs of 'why would you bring a child like that to the theater?'. This is wrong. Plainly wrong.
Because what you didn't see was a mother desperately trying to do just that. But her son was not compliant. What they didn't see was a mother desperately pleading with her child as he gripped the railing refusing- yelping more out of defiance. I could not look away. I wanted to scream and stop the show and say- 'EVERYONE RELAX. SHE IS TRYING. CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT SHE IS TRYING???!!!!' I will gladly do the entire performance over again. Refund any ticket because-
For her to bring her child to the theater is brave. You don't know what her life is like. Perhaps, they have great days where he can sit still and not make much noise because this is a rare occurrence. Perhaps she chooses to no longer live in fear, and refuses to compromise the experience of her child. Maybe she scouted the aisle seat for a very popular show in case such an episode would occur. She paid the same price to see the show as you did for her family. Her plan, as was yours, was to have an enjoyable afternoon at the theater and slowly her worst fears came true.
I leave you with this- Shows that have special performances for autistic audiences should be commended for their efforts to make theater inclusive for all audiences. I believe like Joseph Papp that theater is created for all people. I stand by that and also for once,
I am in a show that is completely FAMILY FRIENDLY. The King and I on Broadway is just that- FAMILY FRIENDLY- and that means entire families- with disabilities or not. Not only for special performances but for all performances. A night at the theater is special on any night you get to go.
And no, I don't care how much you spent on the tickets."
Like so many Facebook posts, Loh's message was intended just for his family and close friends. Instead, it traveled around the world.
According to Loh, soon after the post went up, he began receiving messages of support from across the U.S., and as far away as Malaysia — not just from parents of children with autism, but from parents of children with disabilities and others who were moved by his call to include people who so often find themselves left out.
For Loh, providing that place of safety is why he and so many of his colleagues got into acting in the first place: to find refuge from a world that doesn't always understand.
“People who love the theater and people who work in the theater, they all came to it because in some way they felt different," Loh said. "They felt in some way they didn't belong, that they were of the outside. And so many people have that background."
His bottom line? A theater is a place where everyone should feel welcome.
Photo by Bahman Farzad/Flickr.
Theater is democratic. It's communal, and no one deserves to be kept away or told they don't belong. And if that means working through the occasional disruption, then so be it.
Compassion is what matters most.
“It's a difficult choice to lead with love first, but at the end of the day, that's what life is about," Loh said.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."