After 57 years, Barbie finally gets the makeover that really matters.
She still can't bend her arms, but it's a start.
If you're one of the millions of people who've bought Barbie dolls and wished for them to look a bit more like you do, today is your lucky day.
For the first time in her 57-year history, Barbie comes in different body shapes: petite, tall, curvy, and original.
Meet Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, and Barbie. Image Image from Mattel.
The new dolls are part of Barbie's Fashionista 2016 line. In total there are four body types, seven skin tones and 18 eye colors and hairstyles available — plus some dolls who can wear flat shoes! You can pre-order the new Barbies online or find them in stores everywhere starting in March.
This is a really big deal, and it happened because consumers made it happen.
Consumers have long been asking Mattel to offer Barbie dolls with realistic measurements and received little response. So, they started spending their money elsewhere. In 2014, Barbie doll sales dropped a record 16%. The same year, Barbie lost her title as the world's best-selling doll to Hasbro's Queen Elsa doll. It seems it was finally time for Mattel (Barbie's parent company) to listen to consumers and give them the realistically-shaped dolls they'd been asking for since the last century. After two years of development, we're meeting them for the first time.
They're all still named Barbie, though, which is definitely going to create confusion at the next toy family reunion. Image Image from Mattel.
This isn't the first time Barbie's had a big makeover.
For the first nine years she was on sale, Barbie was only available in one color: white. Christie, a black doll, debuted in 1968, but the first black doll named Barbie wouldn't appear on store shelves until 1980.
Even then, the black, Latina, and Asian dolls weren't really accurate — just Caucasian Barbie dolls in new colors with new hair. It would take Mattel another 20 years to better embrace diversity and release different facial styles.
Celebrate, but not too much, 'kay, girl?
Over the past few decades, Barbie has run for president several times, broken up with Ken, experimented with temporary tattoos, and even renovated her dream house after it turned out her wheelchair-using friend "Share a Smile Becky" couldn't fit in the elevator. Last year Mattel ran their first commercial featuring a boy (gasp! but not really) playing with Barbies and loving every second of it.
All of these, no matter how long they've taken to materialize, are good changes. But none of them addressed the biggest issue people have had with Barbie for decades: her body shape.
The silhouette of the original Barbie doll and Barbie's new curvy body type couldn't be more different. Image from Composite/Time Magazine.
Barbie's body shape isn't just an unrealistic stereotype — it's also physically impossible. If you were shaped like that; you'd die.
In 2013, Rehabs.com decided to show what Barbie's quality of life would be like if she were a real human. The results were ... unsettling.
You can see the full infographic here, but be warned, it's going to make you feel really bad for a plastic doll. Image from Rehabs.com.
Here's what Barbie would be like if she were real:
- She'd be 5 feet, 9 inches tall, weigh about 110 pounds, and have measurements of 32-16-29.
- She'd only have half a liver and a few inches of intestine, making digesting food pretty much impossible.
- Her size-3 feet and little ankles would be unable to support her frame, forcing her to walk on all fours.
- Her tiny neck is too spindly to hold up her giant head, so she'd be forever staring at the ground.
So, instead of being an aspirational symbol of femininity with a great career and a handsome boyfriend ... she'd be a weird demon creature that people take blurry night vision photos of in the woods and make horror movies about.
Can you imagine a skinny, bobble-headed creature shambling out of the woods on all fours? That's IRL Barbie, and she's terrifying.
Today's announcement is a step forward, but it's not the end of the road.
Now don't get me wrong. Growing up, I loved my Barbies. Some of them still live in an old naugahyde suitcase in my parent's garage. I'm delighted to see Barbie starting to look more like a person, like me, like you, and like the people we love. And I'm hopeful that with these changes, we'll see even more inclusivity from Mattel in the future — like trans Barbie, or elder Barbie, or veteran amputee Barbie, or pierced punk Barbie with a shaved head, among so many others. But most of all, this announcement reminded me that no mass-produced doll, in whatever shape and with whatever ethnicity, can be fully representative of the multitudes in all of us.
And I'm pretty sure Barbie would give me a high-five for that. You know, if she could bend her arms.



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 



An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.