upworthy
More

A restaurant owner's smooth, creamy plan to help end the Arab-Israeli conflict.

Let's talk about hummus for a second.

Yes, hummus. The smooth garlicky, lemony spread and dip that's a staple of both Middle Eastern and Greek cuisine.

Mmmmmmmmm. Photo by Joseph Eid/AFP/Getty Images.

Whether a Sabra fan or a Tribe enthusiast or a make-your-own purist, it's hard to find someone who doesn't like the delicious creamy taste of hummus.

Hummus also has a deep cultural significance. It's been bringing people together for centuries.

A group of people sitting around a bowl of hummus is a familiar sight basically anywhere in the world. There's just something about those blended chickpeas that brings people to the table — pita bread and baby carrots in hand — ready to smile and eat.

Photo by Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images.

Kobi Tzafrir, a restaurant proprietor in Israel, knows all about the power of hummus, and he decided to put it to the ultimate test.

He's offering a 50% discount at his restaurant, the Hummus Bar, in Tel Aviv, on any meal shared between a Jew and an Arab. Why?

Here's a bit of background:

For hundreds of years, Arab Muslims and Israeli Jews have been at odds in a tense political and religious conflict. It's so complex and deeply entrenched in both cultures that explaining it would probably take all week. You can actually get a master's degree in it.

The biggest thing you need to know, though, is that this conflict isn't just a quibble. It's a cultural war that has claimed thousands of lives. In fact, recent outbursts of violence are part of what sparked Kobi Tzafrir's idea.

Kobi Tzafrir at the Hummus Bar. Photo by Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images.

He thought that if he could get people together for a meal, they might realize they're not so different.

After all, pretty much everyone likes hummus.

"If you eat a good hummus, you will feel love from the person who made it," Tzafrir said in an NPR interview. "You don't want to stab him."

Can a dip solve a historic and bloody conflict? Maybe. Maybe not.

Photo by Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images.

The idea is an experiment that has, so far, granted at least 10 pairs of people a discount during the last month. It's a small start, but for Tzafrir, the important thing is demonstrating to his country and the world that things can change.

"We hear a lot of extremists on the news, on Facebook, on TV, and it seems like everything here is very bad," Tzafrir told NPR. "But I wanted to show that everything here is not so bad. Things get out of proportion."

Tzafrir has been getting praise for the idea from people as far as Japan, and he says that business is up by at least 20%.

But does "food diplomacy" even work?

Well, that depends. Have you ever sat down for a meal with someone you disagreed with? Even if you didn't come to an agreement, you probably both shut up for a second to eat, right?

Believe it or not, even that little piece of common ground can be a key factor in changing people's minds.

Photo by Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images.

In 2011, Psychology professor David Desteno wrote about the power of common ground in The Boston Globe:

"One key factor that shapes our judgment is a surprisingly simple one: how much we see the person we’re judging as similar to us. New findings are suggesting that this similarity doesn’t have to involve anything as obvious as being part of the same group or family. It can be something as subtle as wearing similar colored shirts or wristbands. In fact, in a new experiment, my colleague Piercarlo Valdesolo and I have shown that morality can be influenced even by simply tapping your hands in time with someone else’s."

We've already seen food's ability to peacefully cross cultural barriers.

When Thailand and South Korea wanted to improve their standing with other countries around the world, they started with food. Bringing their cuisine to a wider global audience helped people around the world get to know a little bit of their culture and, in turn, improved global relationships.

And remember President Obama's Beer Summit? Or the Wichita Police Department's recent BBQ with Black Lives Matter activists? Sure, these things obviously didn't solve every race problem in America, but bringing people together peacefully is a lot better than yelling, cursing, and killing.

Police Sergeant James Crowley and Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. with President Obama and Vice President Biden in 2009. Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

The Arabs and Jews who sit together at Hummus Bar will probably experience more than just a discounted meal — and that's the point.

At that table in that restaurant ... there will be peace. And there will be hummus.

Mental Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
psychology

This kindergarten class wrote a spring song, and it’s the sweetest thing you’ll hear today

When children get the chance to create, they make magic.

Photo credit: Canva

A delightful ode to creating magic.

In a heartwarming TikTok video that’s making waves across the Internet, a class of young children perform the original song they wrote to honor the beginning of spring. “This is a song we wrote together as a class,” teacher Rodney Tristan (a singer-songwriter based in Seattle, Washington), explains before strumming a few chords and leading the class in their charming performance.

It’s a delightful ode to spring, with lyrics like, "When it is spring, we'll be outside with smiles so wide" and "When it is spring, we'll be outside, we'll play in the sun." They class sings with wide-eyed enthusiasm, their faces beaming with pride.

The power of creative jamming

The heartwarming performance isn’t the only thing that makes this video special. It’s the collaborative process behind it, the fact that this piece of art could happen with input from everyone in the class. When children create together, whether that’s song, story, acting, painting, dance, or other art, they develop crucial life skills and lay the groundwork for a fulfilling adult life later on.

Soviet psychologist Lev Vygotsky (1896-1934) researched children’s learning in social and cultural contexts, particularly the importance of social interactions in a child’s cognitive development. According to Vygotsky’s 2004 paper, “Imagination and Creativity in Childhood,” he believed that creativity comes alive whenever human activity produces something new—from something as grand as a symphony, to a rock with googly eyes glued onto it. He also believed that creativity is a gift that exists in all people—not just adults, but very young children, too.

"Creativity is scientifically linked to cognitive, emotional, and social development in children. Creativity arises from accumulating diverse experiences, enabling children to synthesize ideas and make novel discoveries." - Lev Vygotsky

Vygotsky would have absolutely loved the children’s song to spring since it exemplifies the collaborative creativity he championed. By working together on the lyrics and then performing it for an audience, these kids were having more than fun: without even knowing it, they were building neural pathways for critical thinking and adaptability.

Brain, neurons, synapses, firing, creativityCreating leads to neural pathways for critical thinking. Photo by Hal Gatewood on Unsplash


It’s about the journey, not final product

Another thing that's absolutely beautiful about this video is the fact that teacher Tristan highlights that this song was a collective effort—a project whose joys lie not with the performance itself, but with writing, practicing, and collaborating on the song as active creators.

This highlights the difference between "process art" and "product art." While "product art" is all about skill development (adults give step-by-step instructions with the expectation that they will be followed directly), "process art" centers around the creative experience. This type of creativity allows the child to create with little to no direction and allows space for self-discovery and freedom. The process becomes relaxed and free of pressure, giving the child the opportunity to enjoy creating and to feel proud of their efforts no matter how the final piece turns out.


Music, children, creativity, process, growing upIt's all about enjoying the process. Photo credit: Canva

Creative expression and its early childhood power

When kids create art together, the limits are boundless. A cardboard box becomes a rocket ship. The inside of a family home can turn into a prestigious art gallery with just enough imagination. What sounds like gibberish to adults could be an entirely new language for kids. When children engage their brains and practice creativity, they:

  • Develop problem-learning skills through experimentation
  • Learn to express their complex emotions in healthy ways
  • Practice collaboration and negotiation
  • Start to build confidence in their skills, abilities, and ideas
  • Experience the universal joy of creating something unique and original

The Learning Through Play initiative notes, "Creativity is instinctive in children—and just as essential in adults. Children flex it instinctively: everything is new to them and they spend every waking second working—and playing—hard at connecting the dots between their experiences, ideas, and imagination."

Nurturing creativity at home

Child, art, creating, creativity, artwork. Fostering a creative space starts at home. Photo credit: Canva

Are you inspired by this delightful classroom collaboration? According to the Kids Care Club, here are ways that parents, teachers, and others can encourage creativity in the young ones around them:

  1. Ask open-ended questions that prompt them to think deeply and imaginatively.
    1. “What do you think would happen if…?”
    2. “How else could we solve this problem?”
    3. “Can you think of a different way to use this object?”
  2. Create an environment that encourages exploration
    1. Open-ended play areas with diverse, fun materials
    2. Displaying their art and creative projects with pride
    3. Making art supplies, building blocks, and dress-up clothes readily available
    4. Creating cozy spaces for reading and imaginative play
    5. Allow for unstructured playtime
  3. Encourage process over product
    1. Praise effort and innovative thinking rather than just the final product
    2. Encourage children to explain their creative choices
    3. Provide opportunities for children to revisit and refine their creations
  4. Add in music and movement
    1. Daily music sessions with singing and dancing
    2. Providing instruments for exploration and creation
    3. Encouraging children to create their own songs or dance routines
  5. Think outside of the box
    1. Use storytelling and dramatic play
    2. Limit screen time
    3. Embrace nature.

The creative process is messy with children and adults. So the next time you’re tempted to remind your child to “color inside the lines” or “play the correct way,” try taking a step back. It might be time to present them with the gift of creating something truly their own, or collaboratively, like this inspiring classroom so beautifully did. The results might surprise you.

Kid, children, pointing, having fun, kids Who knows? Your kid might surprise you.Giphy

Family

Woman who traveled abroad for 2 weeks realizes why she can't marry an American man

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this."

via Canva/Photos

A woman holding back her laughter.

One of the biggest topics in parenting these days is the mental and physical drain that comes with being the default parent in a family. The default parent is the one who is first in line when it comes to taking responsibility for parenting duties, whether that means making doctor’s appointments, ensuring the homework is done, or making sure the child has enough socks to make it through the week.

Being the default parent can lead to fatigue and burnout, and the parent can experience incredible anxiety when their attention turns away from the household or family. The situation is even worse when the default parent’s partner only does the bare minimum. Unfortunately, in American society, fathers are often the parents who do just enough to get by and are praised for it.

The notion that men don’t have to pull their equal weight in American family life is so ingrained that when Emma Hughes, a travel nanny with over one year of experience in childcare and family support, visited Sweden for two weeks, she experienced extreme culture shock.


"I've been in Sweden now and I think I've been ruined for American men," the 24-year-old said in a viral Instagram video. "Specifically raising a child with an American man in America, because these Scandinavian dads? Chef's kiss …"

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this because all of the observations that I've made have really revealed to me how deeply ingrained [expletive] dads have become like in my brain, and it's just like the default,” she continued.

The notion that fathers only have to do the bare minimum was so ingrained in Hughes’ psyche that she couldn’t understand seeing so many involved fathers in Sweden.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, soccer, swedish childA dad playing soccer with his child.via Canva/Photos

"When I see more dads pushing their strollers in the park on a Saturday morning than moms, what does my brain think … That's weird, there is something abnormal about that,” Hughes said. “When I see dads at the grocery store with their kids. When I see dads out at restaurants or in public. It is so deeply telling of a lot of subconscious stuff that I have going on in my brain after working with so many families."

She said that even the best dads she's worked with in America would be considered the "Scandinavian bare minimum." She applauded one Swedish father who purchased a new size of diapers for his baby without being told to do so by his partner.

swedes, swedish couple, scandanavia, swedish flag, happy swedesA couple holding up the Swedish flag.via Canva/Photos

"Like I watched a Swedish dad go to the grocery store and come home with like four bags of groceries and in that trip he had bought size two diapers for a baby that had previously been wearing size one and was ready to move into size two but that conversation had not happened between the mom and the dad,” she said.

Given Swedish dads' dedication towards their parenting responsibilities, it’s fair to assume that their partners are much happier and stress-free than those in the States. But what about their kids? Researchers at the United Nations who studied “child well-being in rich countries” found that Swedish fathers also ranked high by their children. The survey asked children in 28 countries if it was easy to talk to their dads, and while 67% of children in the study said their parents were easy to talk to, Swedish fathers scored higher at 72.4%. Meanwhile, the U.S ranked 25, out of 28, at just 59.7%.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, swedish child, dad reading note, A Swedish dad reading a note. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Hughes makes an important point that Scandinavian men have set a high bar for being fathers and that American men need to step up. The positive sign is that in America, the discussion around default parenting has been getting louder and louder, and hopefully, that will prompt more American men and women to set higher expectations so that one day, American men can catch Sweden’s.

From Your Site Articles
sweden
Joy

Woman having a terrible day asks the universe for help. It responded with baby goats.

Here's why they were precisely what she needed.

via Canva/Photos

A woman having a bad day and a baby goat.

Some days, you feel like you shouldn’t even get out of bed. They happen to everyone, but no matter how bad things get, we can’t let them ruin the rest of the day. Eliza Lieberman, a therapist from North Carolina, was having a challenging day recently, and her openness to letting everything go paved the way for a magical experience.

“I cannot believe what just happened. I was having a pretty shi**y day, and I just, like, needed a win,” she said in a TikTok video with over 300,000 views. “And I'm driving to my workout class, this guy pulls up next to me, and I have this bumper sticker,” she says before cutting to a photo of her car with a "I STOP FOR GOATS" bumper sticker. Katherine cared for goats on a farm as a teenager, so she has a special place in her heart for them.

“So this guy pulls up next to me, and he's like, ‘I saw your bumper sticker. And I actually have baby goats in the back of my truck right now. And I'm taking them to my office to let my co-workers meet them if you wanna come see them,” she recalled.

@elizalieberman

the universe is looking out for me fr !!!! I got his contact info so I can go play with them :,) 💘🫂🐐💕 #goats #goat #goatsoftiktok #kismet #storytime #fate

At this point, Lieberman had a conundrum: Should she follow a random stranger who promises her he has baby goats or turn down the offer? His offer sounded a lot like the adult version of a predator asking a child to come with him to find a lost puppy. However, Lieberman felt she had nothing to lose and followed his truck to his office.

“Goats randomly became a big part of my personality,” she told People. “I asked if I could follow him, and he said yes. My partner stayed on the phone the whole time, joking, ‘Don’t get kidnapped!’ But honestly, baby goats seemed like a pretty extreme kidnapping tactic.”

baby goats, goats, farm animals, hay goats eating, tiny goatsTwo baby goats eating. via Jonathan Mast/Unsplash

When they arrived at the man’s office, his co-workers were waiting to meet the baby goats. “And I watch him open his trunk and baby goats come out,” she says in the video. “I feel like this is the kind of story that no one would believe if I didn't have evidence.”

"The universe is looking out for me!" she captioned her video.

Folks in the comments agreed that the promise of seeing baby goats seemed more than a little bit sketchy, but they supported Lieberman’s decision to follow her bliss. “A man telling me he has baby goats in the back of his truck is how I’d be kidnapped,” one viewer wrote. “I mean, parents always warned us about strangers with candy, not goats, so fair game,” Another added.

baby goats, goats, farm animals, hay goats eating, tiny goatsTwo goats relaxing.via Neil Daftary/Unsplash

The story is a great reminder that a day that starts as terrible, no-good, and horrible could turn on a dime into something extraordinary. For Lieberman, the story is a wonderful reminder to keep yourself open to joy because it could happen at any minute.

“There were so many reasons why I could’ve said no or stayed cautious, but letting go of control and being open to unplanned events led to one of the best things that’s happened to me,” she told People. “It’s proof that good things can come when you least expect them.”

From Your Site Articles
goats
Kids

Selfless kid spends his birthday gift cards on his little brother. Sibling wholesomeness ensues.

"If you strike out, you're paying me back!"

nickyf511/Instagram

Older brother spends his birthday gift cards to buy younger brother dream baseball bat.

Big brothers are like heroes to little brothers. Everything they do and say, they look up to. For Instagrammer Nicole F (@nickyf511), her son Sebastian showed exactly why he deserves the title in his little brother Lucas' eyes.

In a sweet video shared on social media, Nicole captured a heartwarming moment between the two brothers while out shopping. Nicole shares that it is Sebastian's birthday, and he's received a few gift cards to the sports store they are shopping at. But instead of buying himself something for his big day, he chooses to do something selfless and generous. Sebastian decides to spend his birthday gift cards on Lucas for a baseball bat that he has been dreaming of getting for a long time.

"Using his birthday gift cards ON his own bday to buy his brother the bat he has wanted for a long time," she captioned the post.

In the video, Sebastian walks towards Lucas, who is holding a baseball bat that has a cool wooden pencil design, to reveal his surprise. "Yo Lucas! I'm buying it for you," he tells his little brother, who replies, "Are you for real?" And Sebastian absolutely is. "Yeah, pinky promise!" he says to Lucas as the brothers link pinkies.

Lucas is ecstatic and hugs his brother. Sebastian has got jokes, and ribs his brother with, "You better hit though! You strike out, you're paying me back," he says with a big smile. Lucas is totally overjoyed, and says, "Thank you so much!" to which Sebastian responds, "No problem, buddy."

In another clip, Lucas is talking to his mom and can't contain his excitement. He tells her, "I'm so happy! I'll do anything to get him something if he wants something," he says, acknowledging Sebastian's generosity.

Nicole is an extremely proud parents and turns the camera to Sebastian to say, "You're a good brother, buddy." Lucas continues to freak out over his new baseball bat, saying, "It's so beautiful! I can't wait to go to practice. Final decision. It's so beautiful."

In the next clip, they go up to the store's register where Sebastian starts to pay for the baseball bat using a few different gift cards. When he's finished, Lucas gives him another big hug and thanks him once again.

baseball, brothers, birthday gift, brotherly love, older brother, little brotherWheelingu GIF by WU CardinalsGiphy

The brothers, who both share a love for baseball, clearly have a special bond. Viewers on social media are touched by Sebastian's sweet gesture:

"I’m crying. 🥹 the look in big bro’s eyes says it all. He’ll be his number one fan for life.💙 good job mom + dad 🫶🏻."

"Big bro standing a little taller after that move. 💙💙"

"Good job young man.. Good job... Little brother will remember that moment for the rest of his life!!! And I bet even hits a couple dingers!!!"

"😭 this is more beautiful than the bat!!! What kind hearted little dudes. My mom heart is bursting over here."

From Your Site Articles
brothers
Trending Stories