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A mom of a kid with autism wants you to know why she's exhausted.

Can I tell you something? I’m tired of autism.

I’m tired of talking about it and writing about it and thinking about it and scrutinizing it. I am especially tired of listening to it.

I’m tired of wanting answers no one will ever be able to give me.

These are my kids. And while I love them, I also get tired sometimes.  Photo by Carrie Cariello.

I’m tired of hearing people tell me how good my son Jack looks and how well he seems and then for some weird reason I feel the need to correct them and say things like, "He really isn’t doing that good, and he barely sleeps, and I cannot even handle the stimming for one more second!"

I’m tired of hearing people tell me how rigid he can be and how he seems out of sorts, and then for some weird reason I feel the need to correct them and say things like, "He isn’t always rigid; just the other day he suggested we go to a different movie theater, which is a really big deal for him!"

I’m tired of autism’s constant contradictions.

I’m tired of my own constant contradictions.

I’m tired of second-guessing him.

I’m tired of second-guessing myself.

I’m tired of never knowing what to do.

Like this week, when he was invited to a birthday party for a boy named Ben.

I didn’t know what to do because Joe and I were going out of town for the night, and even though we go out together all the time — more than most married people get to go out — we hardly ever get to go away for the night alone, and I really wanted to sleep in a hotel and order room service and watch cable television.

(Joe canceled cable last month. He said the kids were watching too much TV. Turns out that I miss it more than they do.)

So, I told Jack he couldn’t go to Ben’s because it was a long party with laser tag and swimming and fireworks and cake and I wouldn’t be home to pick him up if he needed me.

I reminded him that we had what’s called a precedence for this sort of thing: It was the one single drop-off birthday party he has gone to in his entire 12 years on this Earth, and after an hour, he was asking when I was going to pick him up because, in his own words, he didn’t want to talk to people anymore.

He screamed at me that precedence was the stupidest word ever and his older brother Joey was going to a birthday party the same day even though I wasn’t going to be home. I said, "Well, that’s Joey; that’s different," and he screamed back, "I am like Joey too!"

I called Ben’s mom, and she was so sweet and soft-spoken.

She has a background in special education and promised me she would love to have Jack over and that she could manage him with no problem, but I still said no.

And I felt like a selfish toad of a mother because I wanted to go away to a nice hotel and maybe lie by the pool and read magazines and deny my son with autism the chance to go to a birthday party.

He hardly ever gets invited to parties. And by hardly ever, I mean this was his second invitation. Ever.

But I just knew, I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle such a long day and that I wouldn’t be around to help him, and I didn’t want to cancel my plans, but I didn’t want to leave him either.

This is how my autism mother’s brain works, all day, all the time. I want so much to believe in the best, but I have come to expect the worst. Constantly, I taste the bittersweet flavor of hope and guilt, remorse and false bravado.

I am tired of false bravado.

So I told him no. I was very terribly sorry, but no, he definitely could not go to Ben’s party. Some other time maybe. Or we could have Ben over this summer, wouldn’t that be fun, we could even play laser tag and make cheeseburgers on the grill and get his favorite pickles, la la la.

Jack wasn’t buying it. He wasn’t buying the pickles or the cheeseburgers or the precedence or my fake, bright, sparkling voice. He started whirling and screeching all around me.

I sat down at my desk, and I listened to him scream that all he wants is to be like everybody else and it wasn’t fair and pickles are dumb and if I don’t drive him, he will walk there, and I thought to myself, "Nothing should be this hard." I’m tired of everything being hard.

And at the exact same second — literally, factually, actually the exact same second — I thought to myself: "Everything should be this hard."

The truth is, it’s always going to be this hard. Forever and ever and always. But when it’s hard, I have to listen. I have to listen and talk and write and think and scrutinize.

And then it’s like I have to take an invisible dustpan out and clear away all the debris, all the detritus and garbage and falseness, and I have to concentrate on what I really want.

What do I want?

I want to go away for the night and watch "The Real Housewives of New York City" on cable television in a quiet hotel room.

I want to nudge autism aside and stop framing everything within its distorted, biased lens.

I want my son to feel like everyone else for once.

I want to say yes.

I want to say, "Why, yes, Jack, you can go to Ben’s birthday party. Go and play laser tag and swim in the lake and watch fireworks and eat cake. Go and enjoy a party just like your big brother Joey."

So even though I knew in my heart he could not handle this party, I said yes anyway.

I said yes, and then I packed my bag, and I drove away with Joe to a beautiful hotel with cable television.

I said yes because sometimes I just have to say to heck with autism and selfishness and worry.

And so I gave the nice mom all my numbers, and I drove away and all afternoon I checked my phone for texts. At around 4:30, she sent me a picture.

Ben (right) hangs out with a friend. Image courtesy of Carrie Cariello.

I looked at the picture, and I looked back at the TV, and I looked at the picture again. I thought about how handsome he was and the way he was looking right at the camera, and look at his smile — he almost never smiles that way, only when he’s really happy and calm.

I thought about how he broke the precedence. He defied convention; he exceeded expectation. He lasted through it all — the laser tag and the swimming and the fireworks and the cake.

I thought about how I almost didn’t let him go, and I would have robbed him of this chance to be successful and spend time with his friends and look at the camera and run around with laser tag.

I thought about the very last thing he said to me before I put my sunglasses on and we drove down the long driveway:

"Mom. For me. I know I can do this."

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Education

Unearthed BBC interview features two Victorian-era women discussing being teens in the 1800s

Frances 'Effy' Jones, one of the first women to be trained to use a typewriter and to take up cycling as a hobby, recalls life as a young working woman in London.

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Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. As time marches on, we're moving further and further away from the Victorian era and what life was like for the people living through it. Thankfully, though, relics have survived that are not just historical treasures, but connections our human family now since passed. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

While cars were just around the corner from being the common mode of transportation toward the end of the 19th century, it's pretty wild to imagine what these women experienced. Frances "Effy" Jones explained how, at age 17, she was encouraged by her brother to check out this new machine in a storefront window. Turns out that machine was a typewriter and, after being trained on how to use it, Jones would sit in the store window typing while people outside gathered to watch. Before long, classes began popping up for women to learn how to use a typewriter, starting a new movement for women of that era.

The second woman, Berta Ruck, told the BBC that she would get into a bit of trouble at boarding school for drawing instead of completing school work. This talent took Ruck to art school in London where she rode buses around town, attempting to avoid mud getting on her long skirt. But Ruck explained that it never worked and she would spend hours brushing the mud from her skirt before wearing it out again. I'm sure you're thinking, buses? They weren't the buses we would see nowadays. These were double-decker horse-pulled carriages. It may be hard to imagine, but life was just as vibrant and bustling then as it is now. Check out the video below to learn more:


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Conservation

Danish city put out vending machines for people to return their coffee cups and get paid

Only one year later, and the results speak for themselves.

Reusable/Instagram

Would you use this?

Over 1 billion people worldwide drink coffee every day. That's about 12.6% of the world's population. And of course, there are a bajillion different ways people conjure up their cup of joe, but many opt for swinging by their local café. Problem is, those single-use cups, as we know, create a ton of waste.

Many heavy hitter coffee companies like Starbucks and McDonald’s have made attempts to tackle this issue by incentivizing customers to use reusable cups in exchange for a discount, but one city has a different approach…and it seems to be making a big impact.

One year ago, Aarhus, Denmark’s second-largest city, launched a three-year, first-of-its-kind trial project, where customers can return their reusable coffee cups to automated deposit machines placed throughout town and in return they'll receive a €70-cent rebate back to their debit card.

Once those to-go cups are returned, they’re transported to the TOMRA cleaning/recycling facility, and, barring any damage, will be sent back to participating cafés. According to Euro News, 45 different businesses signed up for the innovative program.

"All of us, we want to have some kind of impact on the amount of trash that's lying around and especially us coffee shops,” said Joe Hougaard, a manager for one of the participating shops.

This scheme is similar to methods introduced by other European countries like Romania, Denmark, and Belgium, which involve deposit systems for returning plastic or glass bottles and cans in exchange for a small refund. However, those machines are only located within supermarkets. The Aarhus system, however, is open air, meaning the machines are located on main shopping streets with a lot of through traffic.

As reported by Daniela De Lorenzo, the project wasn’t an overnight success. Over the initial few weeks after the launch, the return rate was only around 25 per cent, and unfortunately a return rate of 82 per cent would be needed in order for the reusable cups to actually be a better alternative.


However, things turned around in September 2024, when the city held a week-long festival and the reusable cups were exclusively offered. “Many more citizens were exposed to them and around 100,000 cups were returned, an amount which would have filled 1,200 trash bins,” she wrote.

This became a catalyst for change, one that Simon Smedegaard Rossau, project manager for circular packaging at Aarhus Municipality, signaled a noticeable “shift in behavior.”

“We see people going with bags full of cups, which means they recycle in bulk, like for cans and bottles. Now we can see the return rate is 88 per cent, which means a cup is reused 44 times.”

We are only in year one of a three year trial period, but if things continue like this, there are plans to extend the program to plates, pizza boxes and more throughout the city. All of which could be promising for other cities looking for more sustainable systems.

As Tove Andersen, TOMRA CEO, said in a press release, "Aarhus shows the way to one more sustainable future, and we hope that many more cities will be inspired to do the same.”

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Joy

Dedicated pizza guy got a $2 tip delivering on a snowstorm. A cop noticed and changed his life.

He was delivering in an affluent neighborhood, too.

via GoFundMe

A heroic pizza delivery man.

A story out of Indiana shows a point that we often prove on Upworthy: even though some people out there do wrong, there are far more folks out there willing to do what’s right. Connor Stephanoff, an employee for Rock Star Pizza in Indiana, braved his way a half mile through a snowstorm wearing sneakers and sweatpants to deliver $40 worth of pizza to a home in an affluent neighborhood. All he got for a tip was $2.

Officer Richard Craig, who goes by Officer Craig on TikTok, saw the delivery man’s incredible effort to get the pizza to the right home, recorded it on video and posted it to TikTok. His dedication astounded the officer, but he couldn’t believe how the young man was treated. “Look at this man. This man walked through hell and high water to deliver a pizza,” Craig said in the video. But he was shocked to learn how cheap the tip was. “Absolutely insane. Do better folks,” he said.



@officercraig $2 TIP SHOULD BE A CRIME! Whoever did this: #SHAMEFUL ROCKSTAR PIZZA HAS A ROCKSTAR DRIVER. (Brownsburg, IN.) This guy is a RARE breed. During today’s all day snowstorm, crashes and slideoffs were coming in near 30 calls an hour. This school bus had a minor crash. The bus slid backwards and sideways down a hill and gets stuck, blocking this neighborhood street, and making it completely impassable. The roads were so bad, it took us 20 min. to get 3-4 miles. THIS #DELIVERYDRIVER pulled up before officers arrived. The delivery was about 1/4 mile past where the bus was blocking the street. This young man did not allow this to discourage him. He didn’t call his manager to complain, he didn’t call the customer and tell them their $40 pizza order could not be delivered. Oh no. THIS MAN IS BUILT DIFFERENT. He would not be discouraged by the obstacles he was encountering, which included a 1/2 mile hike round trip in the cold, wet snow. He parked his vehicle at the top of the hill, got out, wearing grey sweats, Nikes, and NO COAT nor GLOVES. He grabbed this #RockstarPizza, and took off hiking thru the very cold, and wet snow with the pizza in tow. It was the beginning of his shift at 4:30p on a Friday afternoon, BUT he was determined this family got their pizza. This is in a more affluent neighborhood, and I’m sure he thought he would be rewarded properly for his RARE display of PRIDE and DEDICATION to his work- that is often times not seen by some of his generation. But more so, he wanted to ensure this family got their pizza to their door! So they did not have to leave the confines of their warm, comfortable, AND VERY NICE home. He got my attention as I see him walking in the middle of street after he made the delivery. I said outloud “what does this guy think he is doing?” As I initially thought he was a neighbor coming to “rubberneck” the crash. The bus driver told me he walked by once and was delivering a pizza. I didn’t believe that fully because what young pizza delivery guy in 2025 would do this??? None that I know! Not believing it completely, I hit RECORD and ask this young man. I was dumbfounded and in disbelief when he confirmed. But most of all - I was impressed- AND STILL AM! I’m proud to witness this firsthand. But my excitement and pride quickly turned to frustration when I asked him about his tip. WHO TIPS A GUY WHO RISKS EVERYTHING TO DRIVE FOOD TO YOUR DOOR LIKE THIS?? Let alone, gets out to hike it to you while every road was nearly impassable! I REALLY HOPE this algorithm is good enough that whomever DID THIS, SEES THIS! You should be ashamed of yourself whoever u are!! SHAME ON YOU. A $40 pizza delivered and a $2 tip! EVERYONE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD CAN AFFORD IT. AND IF THEY CANT, STOP ORDERING PIZZA YOU CANT AFFORD! After processing he only received $2, and what I just witnessed, I reached for my own wallet. To PAY THE TIP FOR SOMEONE THAT PROBABLY MAKES DOUBLE MY SALARY. But I did not want this young man discouraged. Unfortunately my wallet was in my Tahoe, which was at the top of the big hill. I quickly as I could chased him down up the hill giving him the little cash I had in my wallet. (About $15) HE DESERVED MUCH MORE. Not sure who this guy is, BUT IF YOU DO, PLZ TAG HIM, SHOW HIM SOME ❤️❤️❤️ AND GIVE HIM THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES! Well done sir.🫡#IncredibleWork #Rockstar #Brownsburg #Indiana #delivery #Driver #snow #PizzaGuy #pizza @Dave Portnoy #LifeLawAndFootball #dedicated #workethic @Pat McAfee Show Clips ♬ original sound - Officer Craig




How much should I tip for a pizza?

NerdWallet suggests that people tip a pizza delivery person the amount they'd pay for a regular sit-down dinner, 15% to 20%. However, it notes that you should add more if the pizza is delivered in poor weather conditions. So, in this situation, the people who received the pizza should have at least tipped $7, which is still cheap considering the weather.

The officer then posted a follow-up video in which he gave a better look at the icy terrain Stephanoff had to walk through. He noted that he was in an affluent neighborhood where most people should be able to afford a decent tip, especially for a guy who went above and beyond.



@officercraig Replying to @Brooklyn Johnson-Waterman Luckily I had a little cash in my wallet that was in the truck! BUT HE DESERVES MUCH MORE. I just started his GoFundMe! Please share and encourage others to throw in if they can!! I want to try to get him a tip he deserves -if we can!! Let’s go! https://gofund.me/2d6f19ec. #OfficerCraig #RockStarPizzaBrownsburg #PizzaDeliveryDriver #RockstarDriver #GoFundMe #fyp #foryou #LifeLawAndFootball ♬ original sound - Officer Craig



After the videos went viral, Craig started a GoFundMe campaign for the delivery man to reward him for his efforts and prevent him from becoming discouraged. “I witnessed firsthand the work ethic, dedication, and determination by this young man while I was on the scene of a crash during Friday's snowstorm here in Indiana," he wrote on the GoFundMe page. "He received just a $2 tip - from a home in a very affluent neighborhood."

“I ran to my police vehicle to grab my wallet to give him the little cash that I had (about $15) which I didn’t feel is enough," he added. "I would LOVE to raise at least $500 for this guy!" As of January 23, the fundraiser has earned over $31,000.

Stephanoff’s heroic effort to deliver a pizza earned him praise from his boss, Rock Star Pizza manager Ron Mathews. "He wasn't here in the restaurant; he had no idea people were watching him. But he got out, walked it to the house, and came back without any expectations,” Mathews told WRTZ.

Matthews told NBC affiliate WSAZ that Stepahnoff’s story is a reminder that many folks have it rough these days and to look out for one another. “Everyone is going through it tough. Everyone has it. It could be you. It could be the delivery driver. But at the end of the day, we’re all people," he said. "Just be nice to the next person."

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Joy

Enjoy the scaly sweetness of a little girl hanging out with her beloved pet snake

Their bond is undeniable.

Reddit

Brb, going out to buy a pet snake.

Kids and pets is a recipe for adorableness no matter what, but the fact that the video below features a kid with a pet snake…that just takes things to a whole new level. After all, it’s not like snakes are widely considered a great match for any pet owners, let alone children. But after seeing the pure love these two beings share for one another, it’s hard to not be won over.

In the clip posted online, we at first see the onscreen text (presumably from mom or dad) read “no one warned us that having a snake could look like this” as a little girl, smiling ear to ear, holds her snake—which appears to be a piebald ball python—in both hands.

From there, we’re taken on a lovely thirty second journey of snuggles while watching TV together, snakey helping with homework, and just lots of cuddles in general. The two are undeniably inseparable.

Watch:

The Bond between her and her snake 💖💖
byu/Both-Ant4433 inBeAmazed

So stinking sweet, right? And it was not only an entertaining watch, but an educational one as well, as it stirred up conversation about how snakes experience television.

“The snake is low-key tripping watching the TV,” one viewer commented. “You see the holes round its mouth? They're called heat pits and from what I understand they react to the heat coming of the TV…So his little brain is getting absolutely blasted with stimulation. Thus the interest in it. He's having fun.”

To that, someone quipped, “TIL that TV is like psychedelics for snakes,” while another echoed, “Wow, I came here to have fun, but I learned something and it was fun.”

For a little more context, the website ReptileCraze.comhttps://reptilecraze.com/can-snakes-watch-tv/

explains that while snakes only see greens and blues, they perceive ultraviolet light, which is invisible to the human eye, as well as heat—all of which a TV gives off. So just because they might not be following along on who’s getting booted from your favorite reality show, they are probably nonetheless enjoying it.

Really the only thing snake owners should be aware of regarding TV is disrupting their natural sleep cycle. But I mean, we as humans should also be aware of that with our own sleep cycles. So if you’re keeping that in mind, TV time can actually be a great bonding opportunity. Which is clearly what these two in the video are doing.

In general piebald ball pythons like this one are considered great pets for their docile nature, but apparently carpet pythons, gopher snakes, milk snakes, garter snakes, rosy boas, western hognoses, California kingsnakes, and corn snakes are also good considerations—most of which can live for decades.

There’s even a breed called the children's python, which got its name not because its safe for children (though it is) but because of the scientist who covered them, John George Children. What a name.

But if you aren’t in the market for a new reptile friend, you can always just peruse the internet to find sweet videos of them, just like this one.

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Pop Culture

Man with schizophrenia shares a video from Batman actor Kevin Conroy that saved his life

"It's saved me from suicide countless times."

Photo credit: Cameo/Warner Bros. Entertainment

Pictured: A true hero and Batman

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.


It’s not often that the person who portrays a hero in movies, TV, or video games is an even greater hero in real life. A man on Reddit shared an experience of that rare exception when he posted a Cameo he purchased in 2020 from Kevin Conroy, a voice actor best known for his portrayal of Batman, saying that “It's saved me from suicide countless times.”

"I paid for a Cameo video from Mr. Conroy. In the introductory text I believe I simply explained how my name is pronounced, that I had schizophrenia and had been extremely moved and inspired to face my fears as Batman did in Arkham Knight. I ended with 'THANK YOU.'"

He only had enough money for 30 second Cameo, but Conroy instead gave him a heartfelt six minute long response.


Kevin Conroy has saved me from suicide more times than I can count. In 2020 I paid $100 for a 30 sec video. I got back over 6 minutes.
byu/MaliciousMe87 inbatman

In the video, Conroy not only did some classic Batman dialogue in the voice but shared about how his brother struggled with schizophrenia. He got personal and touched upon the struggles of life, and how the fan was not alone in his fight and in his treatment. Conroy ended his message with "I believe in you. Batman believes in you, and Batman is on your side."

The fan held onto his video, wanting to keep it private since Conroy was so vulnerable and personal in his response, but felt it was okay to share since Conroy touched upon his brother's schizophrenia in "Finding Batman", an autobiographical comic story in the DC Pride 2022 anthology. In "Finding Batman," Conroy discusses helping his brother with his treatment along with how his life as a young gay man in the 1950s through the 1990s required him to have a "public face" and a "private face" much like Batman and his secret identity of Bruce Wayne. Conroy would portray the character on and off in various animated shows, movies, and video games for over 30 years, with his last posthumous performance as Batman in 2024's Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three.


"His reply, this video, is my most prized possession," said the fan. "It's saved me from suicide countless times. Batman telling me he believes in me is extremely powerful... but over time, it's become Kevin believing in me that is equally powerful."

Commenters shared their feelings about Conroy:

"This high key had me blinking back tears. Mr. Conroy was as important to me as the Batman character - something that became clear after his passing."

"Kevin is one of the people that I'd have loved to spend a day with. A true kind human."

"Bittersweet to know Kevin Conroy was exactly the hero we grew up watching. I miss him."

The commenters also threw in their thanks and support to the fan, too:

"You’ve got this, brother 👊🏽 You’re not alone."

"Your struggles don’t define you, it’s your perseverance against them that does, so fight. Fight tooth and nail."

"Giving this to the world made you a superhero."

Conroy understood that being the voice behind such a beloved character for an entire generation had some weight and responsibility to it, and used that bit of fame and power to grow a supportive community. Another such example is when he did the Batman voice for a bunch of 9/11 first responders as he helped cook meals for them between shifts of moving debris from the attack.

- YouTubeyoutu.be


Kevin used his position to encourage people, help people, and if nothing else made their lives a little brighter. That's something we can all learn from him. If he can be Batman in those ways, we can be Batman, too. Offer a hand to your family members. If someone needs help, help them. You don't need to be a millionaire playboy with an awesome dark costume to make a difference.

Also, if you're struggling with schizophrenia, you aren't alone, like Kevin said. If you could use some support, you can investigate Schizophrenia Alliance to find a support group near you, or a Zoom group if you prefer. Do your best to remember that we believe in you and Batman believes in you.

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