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8 gay things we were taught as '90s kids

There was a time, not that long ago, when gay marriage was unthinkable. Gay people were not trying to get married ... they were trying to be treated as human beings. That change did not happen by itself. Here are eight people who made those changes happen.

Before we get this party started, let one of the patron saints from the '90s get you in the mood for our trip back in time.

The '90s were the awkward kid of the 20 century...

...and those of us who lived them know what I'm talking about because most of us were busy being awkward kids too.

But we grew up.

And I think we turned out preeeeetty effing sexy.

The '90s were really important for some social movements, and we got to be part of them.

Gays were in the media, celebrities were coming out of the closet, politicians were starting to fight the good fight, and the freedoms and rights that LGBTQ communities enjoy today were planted in the '90s.

Like Edward Scissorhands sculpting the topiaries of our hearts, these eight people were busy sculpting our understanding of an emerging movement.

8) Bill Clinton chipped away at discrimination for gay people.

Today, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is seen as a dated, bigoted piece of American history. However, it was a really progressive move in 1994 that started a huge conversation about gay rights. Before DADT, members of the armed services were being dishonorably discharged because of their sexual orientations. Clinton put a stop to that by saying "sex is none of the government's business," a bold move that was one of his first acts when he took office.

7) Pedro changed the stigma of HIV/AIDS.

Pedro Zamora was the first openly gay man with AIDS to be portrayed in popular media. This is a true story of one man who lived in a house with six people who did not fear his disease. Before MTV's "The Real World" in San Francisco, many of us had only seen the devastating side of HIV/AIDS. Keep in mind that in the '90s, people still thought you could contract the disease by sitting on a toilet seat. Pedro showed us that we were wrong and made us think differently. He showed us that living with or around someone with HIV is nothing we should fear.

After filming "The Real World," Pedro continued to work as an activist until he died a year later. Thanks for your work, Pedro.

6) Ellen made gay OK on the networks.

Before her talk show, Ellen had her own sitcom with male love interests.

But after a few seasons, she decided to come out of the closet on the show. She announced her sexuality to a cheering, live studio audience, which was unheard of at the time. Although by 1997 there were 22 lesbian or gay characters in supporting roles, this was the first time we had ever seen a leading prime-time character come out.

5) Judy Shepard made us safer.

The '90s brought us happy times, but there were sad times too. In 1997, Matthew Shepard was beaten, tied to a fence post, and left to die in Wyoming ... all because he was gay. His mom, Judy Shepard, made it her life's work to fight for the rights of the LGBTQ community. She spoke at fundraisers and lobbied politicians. Judy Shepard fought for justice. Obama sighed the Matthew Shepard Act into law in 2009, 12 years after the murder of her son. Here's Judy reading her impact statement:

And here's Ellen interviewing Judy just after the act was signed into law.

4) Michael Stipe was normalizing.

By the time Michael Stipe came out as bisexual, everyone was sorta, "Meh, sing something else for us, you handsome singing god." Stipe had reached the peak of commercial success with hit albums in 1991 and 1992. Before the release of "Monster," Stipe decided it was time for his fans to know who he really was. He gave many of us the courage to step out with him. Stipe, if you read this, you did it for me. Thanks.

3) Melissa Etheridge showed us love is love.

There was a time that we did not know the raspy-voiced folk singer was gay, which seems sorta strange since she's been a crusader for gay rights for so many years. By 1993, Etheridge had achieved much success with melodies and words about love that straight and gay people were relating with. She shocked the world (even K.D. Lang) at Bill Clinton's inauguration ball when she came out. Her lyrics suddenly had slightly different meanings to the world, and we began to realize the storytelling of love in music could transcend the divide between straight people and gay people. She taught us love feels like love. Check out her epic coming-out moment:

2) RuPaul chipped away at having to be apologetic.

RuPaul took being a drag queen mainstream. After her hit song "Supermodel," we started to see straight clubs filled with dudes shaking their heads, dancing, and singing to a drag queen while trying to pick up women. Everything was different.

1) Madonna is our sprit animal, our unicorn of the '90s.

Madonna bounded through the '90s like a gay whisperer. She made great music and made out with other women (even though she dated men). She taught us to bend the sexuality rules without apologizing to anyone. She was sorta like our "celebrity-mom-for-gays" who explained things our real moms wouldn't want to talk about, like HIV, sex, and human rights. Her words "Don't be silly, wrap your willie" brought many people (gay and straight) through the one-night stands of our 20s. She loved her gay fans and used her voice to fight for gay rights. No one did it like her. And as an added Madonna bonus, I could hang her poster up in my room to fool my friends and family into thinking I was straight until she contributed enough courage to help me come out. Madonna forever.

I know there are more — these are only the top eight who helped me. Tweet me at @DtnMatt and let me know the important people of your adolescence!

Joy

Hunger in affluent communities: How a Silicon Valley food bank is fighting food insecurity

We can all help fight hunger nationwide with one simple shift in the way we grocery shop.

Photo credit: Canva

Food insecurity is an issue in communities across the United States.

When people hear “Silicon Valley,” hunger isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind. Instead, most think “global tech hub” and “wealth.” Named after the silicon used in computer chips, this renowned region is home to nearly 3 million residents and is famous for offering some of the highest salaries in the United States.

Given Silicon Valley’s association with wealth, it’s easy to overlook that not everyone living there is affluent. The high cost of living in the area makes it challenging for those without high-paying jobs to make ends meet. Many residents, including those who work full-time, struggle with basic living expenses.

That’s why Second Harvest of Silicon Valley helps provide food to more than 500,000 people across Santa Clara and San Mateo counties. The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent inflation have prevented many families from getting ahead, making the food bank’s role crucial in providing access to nutritious food.

However, the high cost of living in Silicon Valley is also affecting Second Harvest. Despite the evident need in the community, the food bank had to close its largest warehouse in June 2024 due to rising rent costs.

donationsVolunteers help sort food bank donations.Photo credit: Canva

"Every single week, we receive more than 85 tractor-trailer loads of food. All of that food gets handled at our warehouses and goes back into the community," Second Harvest of Silicon Valley CEO Leslie Bacho told NBC. "Unfortunately, this is our largest facility that we are closing, so we're having to just figure out how we can have that work get done other places."

To help maintain the flow of food, the Albertsons Companies Foundation Nourishing Neighbors Program and O Organics gave Second Harvest of Silicon Valley a $200,000 grant. And they weren’t the only organization to receive funding. Thirty nonprofits received a total of $30,000 in grants during the O Organics $30K in 30 days campaign this past summer to help ease food insecurity. Hunger is an ongoing issue that requires continuous funding, and initiatives like these help ensure that food reaches those in need.

How can we all help make sure people get the food they need?

There are so many worthy organizations that need support to fight hunger, and there are numerous ways to help, from making direct donations and organizing food drives to volunteering. Enhancing these efforts, O Organics provides an easy way for everyone to contribute consistently by simply changing how we grocery shop.

Every time you choose an O Organics product, you not only provide nutritious food for your own family but also help someone facing food insecurity. Through the “Fight Hunger. Serve Hope” program, O Organics has contributed nearly $14 million over the past two years to reduce food insecurity, enabling 56M meals and counting to help fight hunger in local communities.

O Organics helps fight food insecurity.images.albertsons-media.com

Doesn’t organic food cost more than non-organic?

People often assume that organic food is more expensive, but that’s not always true. Many organic products cost the same or even lower than their non-organic equivalents, especially when comparing private label brands like O Organics to national products.

O Organics has products in every aisle of the store, making it easier than ever to find organic products that suit your family’s needs. Purchasing O Organics products also helps support organic agriculture. Small changes that benefit both the planet and its people can add up, and simply choosing one product instead of another can make a significant difference.

No matter where people face food insecurity, whether in Silicon Valley or communities across the U.S., we can all find ways to help. Learn more about how O Organics is helping fight hunger here and look for the O Organics brand at your local Albertsons Companies grocery store, including Albertsons, Safeway, Vons, ACME, Shaw’s, Jewel-Osco and Tom Thumb.
Health

Hospice nurse shares the 'one sign' that someone is going to die 'in a few weeks'

Most people don't believe it happens.

via Canva

A nurse and a man in hospice care.

Death is the final mystery that we all must face and it’s natural to be scared about going through the process. However, a new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown.

Julie McFadden, aka Hospice Nurse Julie on YouTube, has witnessed over a hundred deaths, says that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days. She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie began the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Juie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is always comforting for those who are nearing the end. It often involves relatives who come from the other side to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

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Shopping

4 Best hair growth products to help with thinning hair

Discover the top hair growth products designed to combat thinning and promote healthier, fuller hair.

Discover the best products designed to combat hair thinning and promote regrowth.

Upworthy may receive a percentage of revenue from products purchased through this article.


Whether due to androgenetic alopecia, stress, or other factors, experiencing hair loss or thinning can be distressing. Fortunately, innovative hair loss treatment plans can help rejuvenate hair follicles and promote fuller, healthy-looking hair. Join us as we explore the top four products designed to combat hair loss, shedding, and dry scalps and stimulate hair growth.


Summary of the Best Hair Growth Products

  1. Best Overall: Hers Hair Blends
  2. Most Customized: Happy Head Custom Hair Regrowth Plan
  3. Best for Hair Growth: Unveil The Essentials Kit
  4. Best for Men: Keeps Hair Loss Treatment for Men

What Causes Hair Loss?

There are many possible causes of hair loss, including:

  • Androgenetic alopecia (male- or female-pattern baldness)
  • Pregnancy, menopause, or thyroid issues
  • Alopecia areata and other medical conditions
  • Scalp infections, flaky scalp, and other scalp conditions
  • Chemotherapy and certain medications
  • Physical/emotional stress
  • Heated tools and chemical styling products
  • Nutrient deficiencies

Best Hair Products for Treating Hair Loss

1. Best Overall: Hers Hair Blends


Hers Hair Blends product, a top choice for combating hair thinning and promoting growth.Hers Hair Blends - Best overall hair growth product for fuller, healthier hair.Hers

What we love:

Hers Hair Blends are a game-changer for women with all hair types seeking effective hair growth solutions. One of the key ingredients, minoxidil, stimulates blood circulation to the hair follicles, promoting healthy hair growth*. From topical solutions to oral treatment options, Hers offers access to a variety of reliable choices for combating hair thinning and hair loss.

Pros:

  • For all hair types
  • Dermatologist trusted ingredients
  • Includes hair vitamins to support healthy hair
  • Proven to show hair regrowth in just 3-6 months.*

Cons:

  • Consistent use required

Specs:

  • Size: 2 ounces (scalp serum)
  • Key ingredients: Minoxidil

Learn more about Hers Hair Blends today!

*Results vary. Based on separate individual studies of oral minoxidil and oral finasteride.

Hers Hair Blends are compounded products and have not been approved by the FDA. The FDA does not verify the safety, effectiveness, or quality of compounded drugs.

Prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information

2. Most Customized: Happy Head Custom Hair Regrowth Plan


Happy Head Custom Hair Regrowth Plan, offering personalized treatment for hair loss.Happy Head - Most customized hair regrowth plan tailored to individual needs.Happy Head

What we love:

Happy Head Custom Hair Regrowth Plan takes a personalized approach to tackling hair loss. Its powerful ingredients include finasteride, spironolactone, minoxidil, retinoic acid, and hydrocortisone. The combination of expert formulation and ongoing support from a board-certified dermatologist makes it a top choice for those seeking healthy hair growth.

Pros:

  • Suitable for men and women
  • Topical and oral treatment options
  • Consultations with a board-certified dermatologist

Cons:

  • Prescription required

Specs:

  • Size: 2 ounces (scalp serum)
  • Key ingredients: Finasteride, spironolactone, minoxidil, retinoic acid, hydrocortisone

Learn more about Happy Head Custom Hair Regrowth Plan today!

3. Best for Hair Growth: Unveil The Essentials Kit


Unveil The Essentials Kit, a top product for promoting hair regrowth.Unveil The Essentials Kit - Best for promoting strong and healthy hair growth.Unveil

What we love:

The Essentials Kit by Unveil offers a comprehensive approach to hair loss treatment, using natural ingredients to promote hair growth and scalp health. The No.3 Thicker Hair Serum enhances density and vitality. The No.0 Scalp Renewal Brush stimulates blood flow to hair follicles, boosting hair growth. Lastly, the No.5 Hair Nutrition Supplements provide essential vitamins to support healthy hair, skin, and nails.

Pros:

  • Comprehensive hair and scalp care
  • Gluten-, soy-, and gelatin-free
  • Formulated with natural ingredients

Cons:

  • Consistent use required

Specs:

  • Size: 1 ounce (scalp serum); 60 count (capsules)
  • Key ingredients: Niacin, ashwagandha, saw palmetto, biotin

Learn more about Unveil The Essentials Kit today!

4. Best for Men: Keeps Hair Loss Treatment for Men


Keeps Hair Loss Treatment for Men, specifically designed to combat male-pattern baldness.Keeps Hair Loss Treatment - Best hair loss treatment plan for men experiencing thinning hair.Keeps

What we love:

Keeps Hair Loss Treatment for Men provides a streamlined, effective solution for hair loss and thinning with clinically proven treatment plans and expert support. Its FDA-approved formulas include finasteride and minoxidil and boast a 90% effectiveness rate. Keeps ensures personalized care through a free consultation with a board-certified dermatologist and treatment plan adjustments.

Pros:

  • High effectiveness rate
  • Unlimited provider access for one year
  • Flexible delivery options

Cons:

  • Requires ongoing commitment

Specs:

  • Size: 90 count (capsules); 2.11 ounces (foam)
  • Key ingredients: Finasteride, minoxidil

Learn more about Keeps Hair Loss Treatment for Men today!

Finding the Best Hair Growth Products for Your Hair Loss

Finding the right scalp serum or treatment for your hair loss can be challenging. Here’s what to look for:

Price

The best hair growth serum is affordable without compromising quality.

Customer Reviews

Customer reviews give insight into a product's effectiveness and ease of use. Avoid options with many reported side effects and unfavorable reviews.

Active Ingredients

The best hair growth serum products are physician-formulated with nourishing ingredients that support new hair growth.

Ingredients Good for Hair Growth

Choosing the right ingredients is crucial for effective hair loss treatment. Here are some key ingredients to look for:

Minoxidil

Found in many of the best hair growth serums, minoxidil helps protect hair follicles and add volume by extending the growth phase of the hair cycle.

Biotin

Used in many hair loss treatments,Biotin reduces hair shedding and strengthens the hair shaft.

Saw Palmetto

Saw palmetto blocks DHT, a hormone linked to hair loss, and can help reduce hair thinning and loss.

Potential Benefits of Using Hair Growth Products

Using hair growth products can yield several benefits, helping to combat hair loss and improve overall scalp and hair health:

Reverse Hair Loss

The best hair growth serum products include powerful ingredients that target the root causes of hair loss and hair thinning to promote new growth.

Enhanced Hair Strength

Hair growth products strengthen hair, resulting in less breakage and shedding, making your hair look fuller and healthier.

Improved Confidence

Using hair growth treatments can significantly boost your confidence after hair loss. Seeing improvements in hair density can make you feel better about your appearance.

Potential Side Effects of Using Hair Growth Products

While hair growth products can be highly effective, they may also come with potential side effects for both men and women, including:

  • Skin/scalp irritation
  • Allergic reactions
  • Hormonal changes
  • Interactions with other medications/supplements

FAQ

How do hair growth products work?

Most supplements and scalp serums stimulate follicular circulation, promoting hair growth and improving hair density.

Are hair growth products safe?

Most are safe when used as directed. However, men and women must choose products formulated for their hair loss needs and be aware of potential side effects.

How long do results take after using hair growth products?

Results typically start to appear after three to six months of consistent use. The exact timeframe can vary based on hair loss severity and individual factors.

Conclusion

Choosing the right hair growth product is essential for addressing thinning hair and hair loss. The products above offer effective hair follicle stimulation to promote healthy growth. By incorporating these treatments into your hair care routine, you can achieve thicker, fuller hair.

Related Content

    From Your Site Articles
    Internet

    Do we ever really die? One woman's immortality theory is blowing people's minds

    Forget the Matrix. This theory is next level.

    www.youtube.com

    Quantum immortality?

    Might we never really pass on into nothingness? Has the world ended many times before? Are we in fact doomed to spend eternity unknowingly jumping from one dimension to the next? According to one TikTok theory, the answer is yes. And it's blowing millions of minds worldwide.

    Joli Moli (@joli.artist) is quite used to spooking and perplexing viewers with conspiracy theories and alternative hot takes. In her video titled "Apocalypse...again," Joli introduced the concept of Hugh Everett's quantum immortality.


    @joli.artist ##mandelaeffect ##apocalypse ##atworldsend ##quantumphysics ##quantumimmortality ##ChimeHasYourBack ##manyworlds
    ♬ Horror, suspense, weirdness, ghost, UFO - Zassh


    Fans of the Marvel "multiverse," are quite familiar with this concept, where instead of experiencing death, "your consciousness just gets transferred to a parallel universe where you survived," the TikTokker explained.

    Joli admits that this might burst the bubbles of those seeking the "sweet relief" of a widespread apocalypse. "If the quantum immortality theory is correct," she deduced, "you're just going to wake up in a parallel universe with no memory of the fact that you just survived an apocalyptic event."

    According to Joli, the only sort of clue or hint you'd get that you might have woken up in a parallel world would be "new Mandela effects." You know, the strange phenomenon where all of a sudden there are two completely opposing memories of historical events? Yeah, quantum theory says that if you remember Curious George having a tail, you probably died in another universe.

    Driving her point home, Joli added: "What I'm basically implying here is that in our reality, apocalypses happen every day … after the inevitable apocalypse occurs, you're going to wake up the next day in a new reality, and the next thing you know, you're going to find yourself on Reddit talking about 'since when did Pizza Hut have two Ts?!' Arguing with people who are native of this new reality, talking about 'it's always had two Ts'."

    I for one would never want to live in a Pizza Hutt universe. Blech.

    Still not sold on the theory? Joli has further arguments: "You don't believe me? Okay, it's been about 65 million years since the asteroids allegedly took out the dinosaurs. ... So you mean to tell me that in the last 65 million years, no other asteroids have come through the neighborhood, taken us out? You think we're just that lucky, huh? No other super volcanic events in 65 million years? We're just out there in space just dodging asteroids by luck, right? Earth doesn't have a steering wheel."

    Hmmm. That's a good point.

    Joli concluded with the upbeat sentiment that "Earth is probably always being taken out, and our consciousness just keeps getting transferred to another parallel universe, and another one, and another one. For all you know, the apocalypse maybe already happened last night…"

    So far, in this reality anyway, the video has 4.9 million views. And—as to be expected—the video left many feeling uneasy.

    One user commented, "Ok, I'm actually kind of freaking out right now coz I'm not the conspiracy typa guy, but you're like eerily making sense."

    A few resorted to sarcasm as a defense mechanism (understandably), like this Twitterer: "Thanks I was overdue for another existential crisis."

    The discourse got so intense, people were reporting physical side effects from the stress. One person wrote: "The thought of never being able to actually die is extremely depressing, and it's giving me a headache."

    Another added, "Bruh, I'm just done with this anxiety. My body [is] emotionally [and] physically TIREDDD."

    One commenter, who clearly had their priorities straight, wrote: "You're over here talking about extinction level events and I'm having to check on the two Ts in Pizza Hut."

    It wasn't all gloom and doom though. According to indy100, some saw the potential of eternal life as a comfort against the loss of loved ones, while others finally got to make sense of their "world-ending" dreams.

    If you have watched the original TikTok and are filled with burning questions, Joli posted a follow up Q&A video. A small disclaimer: You might be left with even more questions.

    Though we may never really know what awaits us on the other side, it is interesting to think that we might live in a multiverse with infinite second chances. And whether or not this theory floats your metaphysical boat, it's fun to contemplate on one of life's biggest mysteries.


    This article originally appeared on 10.18.21

    From Your Site Articles
    Internet

    Nail tech admits she has no idea what people are talking about when they want nail trends

    "Can we please stop making things up on the internet?"

    Photo credit: Canva

    Nail tech shares frustration over made up viral nail trends

    There are so many things that come across social media news feeds that look really cool. It can be anything from a DIY project that looks really easy to a beautiful painting that was done by someone pouring paint on a taped canvas. The possibilities are endless but sometimes what we see online is hard to explain when talking to a professional about replicating it.

    In some cases, it turns out that things trending on social media don't always exist in the professional world so asking for it is essentially like asking for a unicorn if you don't have a picture. Sure, the thing may have a name on whatever app you originally noticed it, but those names don't always translate to the person providing the service.

    According to a nail technician, people continue to come into the nail salon asking for nails that don't exist. This can be an issue that will likely cause frustration for all parties involved for obvious reasons.

    Nikki, who runs the TikTok account Nails by Nikki took the the internet to confess that she has no idea what some customers are asking for when they come in after seeing trending nails. The trending nail names don't really mean anything, it's just hashtag worthy but the average person seeing them online doesn't know that's not the actual name of the style in many cases.

    woman doing manicure Photo by rashid khreiss on Unsplash

    For a while "coffin nails" were big. Everyone wanted them and as the name suggests, the nails are shaped like coffins. Some people were all about "stiletto nails" which, even if you didn't know what they were, you could gather that this means sharp pointed nails. But somewhere along the lines, "duck nails" became a thing, which seems to be part of the confusing nail requests that are sending nail technicians like Nikki into a bit of tizzy.


    @sulysnailography Finally did some duck nails 🦆 #ducknails #y2knails #acrylicnails #nailtok #fyp #y2kducknails #elegancenailsupply ♬ original sound - SulysNailography

    "I have a confession as a nail tech," Nikki starts off. "I don't know...I don't know what these nail trends that you're saying to me are and I really...I really wish I do. I really wish I knew what cherry cola nails were. I wish I knew what butter nails are but I don't and I'm so confused how it's my job and I'm not seeing these things. So many people have been coming to me and calling a certain color with a chrome a random name and I just don't...I don't know what this is and I'm so sorry, I don't know what butter nails are."

    She pleads with people to stop making things up on the internet and then telling people to tell their nail techs that's what they want. Other service industry professionals chimed in to share their own experiences with made up names people learned on the internet.


    @nailsbynikki.813 Like how am i not seeing any of these trends but everyone else in tampa apparently is??? #tampanailtech #florida #fyp ♬ original sound - Nikki

    One person writes, "it’s the same for hair, as a stylist it’s so annoying like wtf is tiramisu hair."

    A bartender says it happens with drinks too, "bartender here- SAME. "You know what a Ranch Water isss??" Tequila soda, JUST SAY THAT."

    One nail tech admits to telling a little white lie, "as a nail tech…i tell them it’s AI."


    @disseynails Cherry cola fall nails 🍒 #velvetnails #fallnails #aestheticnails #nailart #gelnails #rednails #cateyenails #nailsoftiktok ♬ Bed Chem - Sabrina Carpenter

    "This reminds me of the “secret menu” starbucks drinks on tumblr and the baristas would get mad because that doesn't exist," someone laughs.

    One exhausted nail tech shares, "omg someone asked me today for Hailey Bieber nails...like girl I'm so sorry but what does that mean?? That could mean so many different things."

    It seems as though the best thing to do to fix the confusion is to bring in a picture of exactly what you're hoping for when it comes to nails or hair. According to the professionals in the comments, doing this will reduce confusion and frustration for both people. A key takeaway is, people make up names for things on social media so if it's a drink, write down the ingredients, if it's hair or nails, bring a picture–it'll save you a headache.

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    Motherhood

    New mom shamed for having 17 dirty diapers sparks raw conversation on postpartum period

    17 dirty diapers shows her baby was fed and clean.

    Photo credit: Canva

    Why "17 diapers" is the most important trend for moms right now

    The first few months after having a baby can feel like you're living in a fog. You're running off of little to not sleep, barely any food and almost no direct natural light. Sometimes opening the curtain in those first couple of weeks makes you feel like you've turned into a vampire who'll burst into flames because suddenly the sun seems overly aggressive.

    But while in that haze of new parent survival, you're also overloaded with love chemicals from your baby as all of your hormones dive off of a cliff. It's really quite uncanny in so many ways, yet there doesn't seem to be enough appreciation for the hormonal, chemical, emotional and physical changes people go through to bring life into this world.

    If you've ever had a baby then you completely understand why certain household tasks get dropped, especially if you're without a village. Hannah, a mom of two littles, one just barely 3 weeks and the other is almost two years old. She is overwhelmed as evidenced by a recent video that went viral, which also unfortunately opened her up to mom shaming.

    Hannah wanted to show the realities of parenting two babies under two while her partner was out of town. The freshly postpartum mom shares that she wasn't really feeling well so diapers around her house piled up so she decided to collect them after the kids were asleep.

    person wearing gray shirt putting baby on scale Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

    "Let's clean up all of the dirty diapers I have around my house right now. I kid you not, my guess is probably 15. I don't own a diaper pail or a Diaper Genie or whatever they're called. They just kinda get thrown around my house [the diapers] and then we just collect them in a bag at the end of the day and take them out to the dumpster, so I've been solo parenting for the last 24 hours so we're going to see how many dirty diapers we have lying around with just two kids," Hannah says.


    @nursehannahbh OMG seriously so gross #mom #momtok #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnantlife #baby #birth #labor #babvannouncement #momlife #youngmom #momtiktok #toddler #momof2#motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodunfiltered ♬ original sound - Hannah 🤍

    She then gets a plastic shopping bag and collects the neatly rolled diapers. This seemed to trigger some people, specifically women who decided to tell her in the comments as well as make multiple videos shaming her for having diapers around her house. It was surprising to see so many women pile on with more than one saying she someone should call child protective services. But the shock from the unfortunate discourse caused a deeper conversation about the postpartum period.

    Moms who weren't afraid to share the reality of the season of hard that is the postpartum period, also known as the 4th trimester, came out in droves to support the young mom. The ugly mom shaming turned into a beautifully raw expression from moms who are still in the trenches and those who remember what it was like in the trenches, with the trend, "My 17 Diapers." Under that hashtag videos of moms being vulnerable about their experience are drowning out the negative, causing some moms to apologize for their original judgmental stance.

    @lifeintheashlane #17diapers #postpartum #fyp ♬ original sound - LifeintheAshlaneLLC

    One mom shares her experience saying, "I had all the luxuries and amenities that I thought I would need to take care of this baby. Two to three weeks after having this baby I felt like I was having a out of body experience. I was here, but I'm just here. I didn't feel connected to this baby, I didn't feel like myself and I didn't want to say anything because people are going to think that I'm crazy."

    The woman explains that this went on for several weeks until she asked a neighbor for help while in tears because she couldn't bring herself to care for her child. She shares that the neighbor called her husband at work who came home and helped get her into the doctor, who then prescribed medication.


    @hillaryhelennn 17 diapers comes in all different forms and my hope is to continue to create a community where people support others when they share their 17 diapers instead of shaming them because remember — we’re all in this together 🫶🏽 #postpartum #postpartumrecovery #postpartumjourney #firsttimemom #momsoftiktok #17diapers ♬ original sound - Hillary Wichlin

    Another mother uploads a video sharing her postpartum experience, "I'm 10 weeks postpartum and I don't have 17 diapers but I don't remember the last time I showered. I don't have 17 diapers but I forget to take out my contacts every single night from exhaustion. I don't have 17 diapers but I cry in my car alone so my mom and my husband can't see."

    Other moms shared that Hannah collecting 17 diapers around the house meant that her children were eating and clean, which is the most important part of the video. While one mom's video explains that 17 diapers around the house isn't necessarily normal but postpartum anxiety and depression can lead to situations like Hannah's which causes her to ask where is the village when someone notices this.


    @aliunfiltered_ What does “17 dirty diapers” symbolize for you? Post partum me is the scariest version of myself. It’s dark and isolating, yet you’re “supposed” to be hapy and overjoyed. Things like this need to be discussed and normalized, but we also need people in our lives to call it out and say “hey, this isn’t normal- let me help you/get you help” 🫶🏼 #momsoftiktok #momtok #17diapers #momchat #postpartum ♬ I Love You, I'm Sorry - Gracie Abrams

    Overall the theme in every response video is that the struggles that happen during the postpartum period should be normalized and discussed so people can get the help that they need without feeling shame. While some of the responses are absolutely heartbreaking, it solidifies the need for this conversation which will hopefully continue on and off social media.

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