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10 ways kids appear to be acting naughty but actually aren't

Many of kids' so-called 'bad' behaviors are actually normal developmental acts of growing up.

10 ways kids appear to be acting naughty but actually aren't
Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash
two toddler pillow fighting

When we recognize kids' unwelcome behaviors as reactions to environmental conditions, developmental phases, or our own actions, we can respond proactively, and with compassion.

Here are 10 ways kids may seem like they're acting "naughty" but really aren't. And what parents can do to help.

1. They can't control their impulses.

Ever say to your kid, "Don't throw that!" and they throw it anyway?

Research suggests the brain regions involved in self-control are immature at birth and don't fully mature until the end of adolescence, which explains why developing self-control is a "long, slow process."

A recent survey revealed many parents assume children can do things at earlier ages than child-development experts know to be true. For example, 56% of parents felt that children under the age of 3 should be able to resist the desire to do something forbidden whereas most children don't master this skill until age 3 and a half or 4.

What parents can do: Reminding ourselves that kids can't always manage impulses (because their brains aren't fully developed) can inspire gentler reactions to their behavior.


2. They experience overstimulation.

We take our kids to Target, the park, and their sister's play in a single morning and inevitably see meltdowns, hyperactivity, or outright resistance. Jam-packed schedules, overstimulation, and exhaustion are hallmarks of modern family life.

Research suggests that 28% of Americans "always feel rushed" and 45% report having "no excess time." Kim John Payne, author of "Simplicity Parenting," argues that children experience a "cumulative stress reaction" from too much enrichment, activity, choice, and toys. He asserts that kids need tons of "down time" to balance their "up time."

What parents can do: When we build in plenty of quiet time, playtime, and rest time, children's behavior often improves dramatically.

3. Kids' physical needs affect their mood.

Ever been "hangry" or completely out of patience because you didn't get enough sleep? Little kids are affected tenfold by such "core conditions" of being tired, hungry, thirsty, over-sugared, or sick.

Kids' ability to manage emotions and behavior is greatly diminished when they're tired. Many parents also notice a sharp change in children's behavior about an hour before meals, if they woke up in the night, or if they are coming down with an illness.

What parents can do: Kids can't always communicate or "help themselves" to a snack, a Tylenol, water, or a nap like adults can. Help them through routines and prep for when that schedule might get thrown off.

woman hugging boy on her lapPhoto by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

4. They can't tame their expression of big feelings.

As adults, we've been taught to tame and hide our big emotions, often by stuffing them, displacing them, or distracting from them. Kids can't do that yet.

What parents can do: Early-childhood educator Janet Lansbury has a great phrase for when kids display powerful feelings such as screaming, yelling, or crying. She suggests that parents "let feelings be" by not reacting or punishing kids when they express powerful emotions. (Psst: "Jane the Virgin" actor Justin Baldoni has some tips on parenting through his daughter's grocery store meltdown.)

5. Kids have a developmental need for tons of movement.

"Sit still!" "Stop chasing your brother around the table!" "Stop sword fighting with those pieces of cardboard!" "Stop jumping off the couch!"

Kids have a developmental need for tons of movement. The need to spend time outside, ride bikes and scooters, do rough-and-tumble play, crawl under things, swing from things, jump off things, and race around things.

What parents can do: Instead of calling a child "bad" when they're acting energetic, it may be better to organize a quick trip to the playground or a stroll around the block.

a young boy running through a sprinkle of waterPhoto by MI PHAM on Unsplash

6. They're defiant.

Every 40- and 50-degree day resulted in an argument at one family's home. A first-grader insisted that it was warm enough to wear shorts while mom said the temperature called for pants. Erik Erikson's model posits that toddlers try to do things for themselves and that preschoolers take initiative and carry out their own plans.

What parents can do: Even though it's annoying when a child picks your tomatoes while they're still green, cuts their own hair, or makes a fort with eight freshly-washed sheets, they're doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing — trying to carry out their own plans, make their own decisions, and become their own little independent people. Understanding this and letting them try is key.

7. Sometimes even their best traits can trip them up.

It happens to all of us — our biggest strengths often reflect our weaknesses. Maybe we're incredibly focused, but can't transition very easily. Maybe we're intuitive and sensitive but take on other people's negative moods like a sponge.

Kids are similar: They may be driven in school but have difficulty coping when they mess up (e.g., yelling when they make a mistake). They may be cautious and safe but resistant to new activities (e.g., refusing to go to baseball practice). They may live in the moment but aren't that organized (e.g., letting their bedroom floor become covered with toys).

What parents can do: Recognizing when a child's unwelcome behaviors are really the flip side of their strengths — just like ours — can help us react with more understanding.

8. Kids have a fierce need for play.

Your kid paints her face with yogurt, wants you to chase her and "catch her" when you're trying to brush her teeth, or puts on daddy's shoes instead of her own when you're racing out the door. Some of kids' seemingly "bad" behaviors are what John Gottman calls "bids" for you to play with them.

Kids love to be silly and goofy. They delight in the connection that comes from shared laughter and love the elements of novelty, surprise, and excitement.

What parents can do: Play often takes extra time and therefore gets in the way of parents' own timelines and agendas, which may look like resistance and naughtiness even when it's not. When parents build lots of playtime into the day, kids don't need to beg for it so hard when you're trying to get them out the door.

9. They are hyperaware and react to parents' moods.

Multiple research studies on emotional contagion have found that it only takes milliseconds for emotions like enthusiasm and joy, as well as sadness, fear, and anger, to pass from person to person, and this often occurs without either person realizing it. Kids especially pick up on their parents' moods. If we are stressed, distracted, down, or always on the verge of frustrated, kids emulate these moods. When we are peaceful and grounded, kids model off that instead.

What parents can do: Check in with yourself before getting frustrated with your child for feeling what they're feeling. Their behavior could be modeled after your own tone and emotion.

10. They struggle to respond to inconsistent limits.

At one baseball game, you buy your kid M&Ms. At the next, you say, "No, it'll ruin your dinner," and your kid screams and whines. One night you read your kids five books, but the next you insist you only have time to read one, and they beg for more. One night you ask your child, "What do you want for dinner?" and the next night you say, "We're having lasagna, you can't have anything different," and your kids protest the incongruence.

When parents are inconsistent with limits, it naturally sets off kids' frustration and invites whining, crying, or yelling.

What parents can do: Just like adults, kids want (and need) to know what to expect. Any effort toward being 100% consistent with boundaries, limits, and routines will seriously improve children's behavior.


This story first appeared on Psychology Today and was reprinted here 7.20.21 with permission.

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Pets support us, let's support them.

In honor of Pet Wellness Month, here are three small ways to fuel your furry friends.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
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There are few things that boost our mental health more than owning a pet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, pets offer unconditional love, the ability to lower stress, and the opportunity to build a community with other pet lovers. Pets support our mental health in dozens of ways, every single day. But how do we care for them in return?

In partnership with Nulo, we’re celebrating Pet Wellness Month this October by highlighting the small, meaningful ways pet parents fuel their fur babies’ happiness and health. We asked readers: “What’s one small thing you do that makes a big difference for your pet?” The best answers win a custom pet portrait, a wellness care package courtesy of Nulo, and a donation to their local pet shelter.

Of all the hilarious and heartfelt answers we got, three of them stood out. Here are the winning responses and three examples of how you, too, can make a huge difference for your pet in small, simple ways.

Keeping their bodies strong

Meet Tee: He’s a loyal, playful ball of energy that helps his owner, Jailon, by bringing joy and calm to his life every day. To show Tee love, Jailon prioritizes physical health and emotional wellness. For exercise, Jailon makes sure Tee has daily walks, playtime, and making sure his diet is balanced with high-quality, nutritious food (Nulo being one of his favorites).

But emotional wellness is equally important. “One small thing I do that makes a big difference for my pet is setting aside dedicated connection time every day,” Jailon says. “No phones, no distractions, just us. The time helps us bond and keeps Tee’s mind active and healthy.”

Communication is key

Mary Ann’s dog Aiden was rescued from her local Humane Society, and as a former stray, the beginning of their relationship wasn’t always easy.

“Aiden was so scared that he would sleep in a corner or under a bed. My husband and I had to sleep with him on the floor until we gained his trust,” Mary Ann said. To soothe his separation anxiety, Mary Ann started talking to him regularly.

“I started telling him, ‘mommy is going to work,’ or ‘mommy will be back’ and he started to understand,” she said.

Amazingly, Aiden responded. Now, his anxiety has improved and their bond is stronger than ever. Aiden still relishes the gentle words of affirmation that Mary Ann continues to give him.

“His face is so expressive and his smile melts our hearts,” she said. “We get him to fall asleep by repeatedly telling him, ‘I love you, Aiden.’”

Building them a place to call home

Our feline friends need love, too. That’s why Amber created a cozy habitat for her longhair tuxedo cat, Precious, on the nights where she likes to roam. Adopted from a local shelter eight years ago, Precious is now 16—and not fond of staying indoors.

“In her old age, Precious has become very anxious being inside,” Amber said. Even in the cold winter months, Precious prefers staying outside on their back deck or exploring their 10-acre property. “She usually refuses to come inside, even on cold nights,” Amber said.

After many failed attempts to get her inside for the evening, Amber and her family realized it would be unfair to keep her confined when she wasn’t comfortable. As a compromise, Amber’s handy husband built a safe haven for her outside.

“She couldn't just have a tiny little box. Our girl was too good for that,” Amber said. “Now we can rest easy at night knowing she is safe, warm, and secure in her own private bungalow.”

Showing love for your pets—especially in the form of regular exercise, safe surroundings and good nutrition—is the best way to keep them happy and healthy for as long as possible. And when we help our pets live longer, we’re nurturing the connection that makes our lives richer, too.


Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a happy pet. Fuel your pet and help them reach their individual incredible with help from Nulo.

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Mental Health

15 hard truths that people swear made their lives so much better

You might be the bad guy in someone else's story.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks
via Liza Summer/Pexels
A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder. However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest, and good. A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.

The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Research shows we have a tendency to compare ourselves to highly visible and highly skilled people, which makes us feel worse. We wonder why we can't cook as well as our foodie friend or why we're not as organized and put-together as our Type A neighbor. No wonder comparisons make us feel like crap!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Comparison is the thief of joy. Giphy

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

Worrying too much about making everyone like you is a quick path to becoming a people pleaser, an impossible task that takes a serious toll on your mental health.

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Things don't care if you throw them away. Giphy

4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

It's natural and OK to outgrow friendships. If you've put in a solid effort and it's not working the way it used to, being comfortable with letting the relationship go will do wonders for your guilt and stress levels.

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

The truth is we're all just people doing our best, even the people who have wronged you.


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks You might be the villain in someone's story. Giphy

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

Expecting others to change is bound to lead to disappointment. There's a saying that goes, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Hoping and wishing and working to make them somewhere else, more often than not, gets you nowhere.

7. How we judge ourselves and others

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We judge others differently than how we judge ourselves. Giphy

8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

Perhaps one of the harshest truths of all, but once you accept it, the path forward becomes extremely clear. It's up to you to make everything happen, and there's really no one else to blame if you don't.

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

Niceness can even be toxic when it's not coming from a place of genuine authenticity. Sometimes hard conversations and conflict are necessary, and avoiding them is not healthy.

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."

Worried about something small like how the sleeves on your shirt fit you? It's OK if you care, but no one else will. People are far too consumed with their own lives and problems to remember the minutiae of some stranger they saw in passing. Accepting this is incredibly freeing!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Nobody is paying attention to you (and that's a good thing). Giphy

12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

This realization could help cure your Imposter Syndrome. Most people are just making it up as they go along and so you shouldn't feel ashamed of doing the same.

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."


harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We accept the love we think we deserve. Giphy

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

These are called harsh or hard truths for a reason. It's human nature to feel self-conscious, feel like an imposter, try to change people, or worry if other people like us. But the more of these you can free yourself from, the better you'll feel.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Thousands of women are still sharing the image of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh with a powerful message

'De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.'

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational
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Jamie Lee Curtis celebrating Michelle Yeoh's Golden Globes win was an empowering moment for all women.

The 2023 Golden Globe Awards was an incredible night for Michelle Yeoh. The 60-year-old actress had waited 40 years to play the lead in a Hollywood film, and winning the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy for her starring role in "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was a dream come true. Yeoh's moment in the spotlight made headlines that night as her award speech went viral. But following the ceremony, another moment went viral—the split second Yeoh's name was called as the winner and the reaction of her co-star, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Curtis herself had been nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in the film but didn't win. (That award went to Angela Bassett in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.") But whatever disappointment Curtis may have felt about not winning her own award did not diminish her response to Yeoh's win, which was immediate, intense and immensely joyful.

A screenshot of Curtis' triumphant celebration of Yeoh's win was shared on LinkedIn by Erin Gallagher, CEO and founder of gender equity company Ella, along with a powerful message that's resonating with women everywhere.

Screenshot of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh at the 2023 Golden Globes Erin Gallagher via LinkedIn

Gallagher wrote:

"Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023: unabashed hype woman.

Full on. Full out. Full force.

This photo was taken last night at the Golden Globes when Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress for her role in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once.'

Look at Jamie Lee Curtis.

Look. At. Her."


Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational Jamie Lee Curtis at the 41st Emmy Awards in 2006Alan Light (alan.light) via Wikimedia Commons

Gallagher continued:

"You can feel her energy, her fire, her power.

Her excitement, joy and passion for Michelle is palpable. The photo moves. It vibrates.

If you saw this photo without context, you may think that it was actually *Jamie* who won.

Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023.

Hype. Other. Women.

When she wins, fight the urge to question…

…who does she think she is?
…why is she getting attention?
…did she really deserve it?
…is she really that good?
...what about me?

Guess what? The world has sold you a lie.

Her success doesn’t detract from yours.
Her wins don’t create your losses.
Her joy can’t steal the joy that’s meant for you.

De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.

It's a trap. Meant to distract us. And to keep us keeping each other down.

Find your Jamie.
Hype their Jamie.
Be her Jamie."

The message hit home, and hard. Reposts on Facebook have circulated thousands of times as women share the message with an enthusiastic, "Yes, this!"

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirationalGif of Jamie Lee Curtis clapping via Giphy


The sense of competition between women is often unspoken and not overtly encouraged, yet it exists. Research indicates that women have had complex relationships with one another, marked by both competition and cooperation, throughout human history. Throw in the uphill battle for social and political power in the modern era and it's perhaps unsurprising that women can sometimes see other women's success as threatening to their own.

That isn't really how it works, though. It's not like there's a finite amount of female good fortune to go around. Success is not pie. As Gallagher points out, another woman's success does not detract from our own, and there's ample awesomeness out there for all of us.

Plenty of forces will try to pull women down and hold them back—do we really want to add to that? Be a force that lifts women up. Hype those you know who are crushing it. Celebrate their successes. Be their Jamie. There's nothing but winning in it for us all.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits

"Should grandmas be the ones on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her?"

baby boomers, grandparents, travel, airport, senior woman traveling, luggage
via Canva/Photos

An older woman holding a suitcase.

When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.

However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.

@grandmacampplanner

Is it Grandma’s job to travel to the kids, or should the family come to her? 👀 Let’s hear it—#GrandmaCamp #FamilyDebate #momsoftiktok #GrandmaLife #HolidayTravel

“Okay, so, here's the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don't you come visit us?’ But let's be honest, Grandma's house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it's time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.

“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.

Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.

@grandmacampplanner

Disclaimer: My last post was meant to spark conversation, not advice. It came from what I witnessed as an OT — older grandmas struggling to travel alone. Every family is different ❤️ #GrandmaCampByGrandmaJan #FamilyDecisions #GrandmaLife #OTperspective #momsoftiktok

The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle."

Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it's about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.

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Her daughter said she doesn't want to be 'big' like her. She responded with perfect composure.

People are supporting her for her heartfelt honesty.

body image, parenting, TikTok, Target trip, self-esteem, tween feelings, positive parenting, media literacy, kid confidence, mom advice, gentle parenting, viral video, healthy habits, body positivity, tough conversations, school age, parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting
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TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.

A tough question in the fitting room

“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔
♬ original sound - missmommymack

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting The changing room brought out a painful revelation. Photo credit: Canva

How Mom chose compassion over criticism

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

What the internet said and why it matters

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," she added.

Teaching kids about health without harm

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthily. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but she avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack Replying to @user3838812846970 ♬ original sound - missmommymack

This article originally appeared last year.

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Gen Z woman who went viral for being burned out after one day at 'grown-up' job gets laid off

Getting laid off wound up proving her point.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting
via @brielleybelly123/TikTok and @brielleybelly123/TikTok
Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

Every year, a new generation of adults realizes how hard it is to actually be an adult. Not many things can properly prepare you for the responsibilities and problems you face being an independent human being in the work force.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.

Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting A woman appears stressed while working on laptop. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

“I don’t have the time to do anything,” she continued. “I want to shower, eat my dinner, and go to sleep. I don’t have the time or energy to cook my dinner either. I don’t have energy to work out, like, that’s out of the window. I’m so upset, oh my god.”

@brielleybelly123

im also getting sick leave me alone im emotional ok i feel 12 and im scared of not having time to live

On December 16, 2023 Asero gave an update on her professional life, and sadly, things aren’t going too well.

After just 2 months on the job, she was laid off. It had taken her 5 months to find the job and she had recently relocated to New York City to be near the office.

"I worked for a startup, and they didn't have the workload or the bandwidth they needed to train me and to give me work to do," she said. Being laid off during the holidays makes Asero's situation even more difficult because most employers are closed for business in late December and early January.

Remember, laid off does not mean fired. Asero had some stern words for those who would blame her for losing her job.

"I know that I'm a hard worker, and my boss literally said that I'm one of the smartest people he's ever had working under him, and he knows that I'm going to land on my feet, and he will give me a great referral to anybody, so don't start," she warned.

@brielleybelly123

can someone tell me im going to be okay !!!! feels like the world is ending i need a job immediatley i am feeling so lost rn like i moved for this...!?

"I have done everything I possibly could have, and it's still not enough," she said. To supplement her income while looking for her next big break, Asero says she will look for work as a server or nanny.

Even though Asero took a lot of criticism for crying after her first day at work, the comments on the new video were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. There were also a lot of people who shared how they had recently been laid off, too.

Her first experience in the workforce was a hard one, but her reaction to it was completely valid and something we've all felt before.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Just want to note that there’s no shame in taking a service job while you’re still looking. You’re going to be okay, you got this," Baby bel wrote. "It happened to me, seems like ur life is ending, but I promise it's just getting started. You’ll laugh about it at some point," Rachie added.

These days, Brielle is doing alright for herself as a 23-year-old living in New York City. Among other things, she has a thriving career as a content creator with over 700k followers on TikTok.

That job and the heartbreaking experience of getting laid off, it seems, was good for something after all.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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