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Sarah Silverman's answer to this question about 'political correctness' was totally unexpected.

A textbook once listed her as the definition of the word 'offensive.'

Microphone on stage with colorful spotlights and smoke.

Photo by Matthew Jungling on Unsplash

black and silver microphone on stand

Free speech is under attack! Or at least that's what some comedians would have us believe.

It seems like every few weeks, a new comic pops up to go all "kids these days" and decry what they call a culture of political correctness. Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Patton Oswalt are all outspoken critics of this culture, especially when it comes to a comic's haven: the college campus.

That's why when I heard that comedian Sarah Silverman, who has never shied away from being politically incorrect herself, had weighed in on the debate over whether or not political correctness was destroying comedy, I figured it was more of the same.

I was dead wrong.

In an interview with Vanity Fair, Silverman tackled the question with amazing nuance.

She began by stating a simple truth: You can't please everyone.

Comedy, like any sort of creative media, is a subjective field. It's inevitable that you'll encounter some people who find your work offensive in ways.

This is a point often raised by comedians who push back against being politically correct. Which is why I was so surprised, and delighted, by where she took the answer next.

Silverman is calling on comedians to "change with the times, to change with new information."

Whaaaaat? She's siding with Team Be A Good Human? Yes! Join us, Sarah! We have cookies!

Silverman touched on one of her own comedy crutches and the evolution that led her away from it: her habit of calling things "gay."

Clinging to that single word to describe something she found boring, annoying, exhausting, or otherwise not her cup of tea is ridiculous, to say the least.

Why was she clinging to that word so tightly, she wondered. And how would it sound years from now?

So she scrubbed that use of "gay" from her vocabulary, and it turns out it wasn't really all that inconvenient.

If calling things "gay" was hurtful to people, why do it? As a comedian, isn't her job to bring joy to others? She knew for sure it wasn't her job to reinforce negative stereotypes about the existence of an entire group of people.

And she decided to make sure her comedy reflected that.

And as for that P.C. college crowd so many comedians seem to fear?

She made a great point there, too:

She's right. Comedians can yell at kids to get off their metaphorical lawns or they can try to understand why the kids are there in the first place. And it's a lesson for all of us: As we grow older, it's important we continue to become aware of the world around us and change with it accordingly.

A static life isn't really much of a life at all.

So what makes this all so surprising coming from Silverman?

Well...

Silverman's career has consisted of riding (and frequently overstepping) the line between edgy and offensive.

She's managed to upset just about every minority and oppressed group to walk the earth. Perhaps her most infamous joke involved the time she did blackface on her Comedy Central show, which was probably (definitely!) ill advised.

I mean, a textbook once listed her as the actual definition of "offensive" (seriously).

Does this mean the world will see a less edgy, gentler Sarah Silverman?

Believe it or not, I kind of hope not, and hear me out.

There are ways to be funny and edgy without being hurtful. I trust Silverman can find that balance if she wants to. One of the things I've always appreciated about her work is her fearlessness. When the risks she takes pay off, they pay off big. Now that she's giving more thought to the effect her words can make (both good and bad), I'm excited to see her prove that you can be an edgy, funny, and yes, politically correct all at once.

Check out her interview with Vanity Fair below:

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I thought I knew my pal Nikki Glaser. Then she told me her ‘humiliating’ story about Dave Matthews - Upworthy ›

A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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conversation tips

History (Education)

Ancient Roman men plucked their armpit hair and other fun historical grooming facts

Wait until you see what they brushed their teeth with.

Photo credit: Canva

Did Julius Caesar have his armpits plucked? Probably.

Modern life may have us shaving, waxing, microblading, laser treating, Botoxing, and altering our natural appearance in all manner of ways in the name of beauty, but the idea of grooming to specific societal standards is nothing new. In cultures all around the world and throughout history, humans have found countless creative ways to make ourselves (ostensibly) look better.

Of course, what looks better is subjective and always has been. Take, for example, the ancient Romans. If you wanted to be seen as a studly man 2,000 years ago in the Roman Empire, you'd remove as much of your body hair as possible. That meant tweezing—or being tweezed by someone else, most likely an enslaved person.

armpit hair, grooming, hair removal, hairless, beauty standard Armpit hair wasn't cook in ancient Rome. Giphy

The Romans, in general, weren't big on body hair for men or women.

"You had to have the look,” Cameron Moffett, English Heritage’s curator at the Wroxeter Roman City museum in Shropshire, U.K., told The Times. “And the look was hairlessness, particularly the underarms.” A collection of 50 tweezers on display at the museum, recovered from the archeological site that was once the Roman city of Viriconium, speaks to Roman tweezing habits, but that's not the only evidence we have.

Stoic philosopher Seneca once wrote in a letter lamenting how the noise from the Roman baths was disrupting his work: "Besides those who just have loud voices, imagine the skinny armpit-hair plucker whose cries are shrill to draw people's attention and never stop except when he's doing his job and making someone else shriek for him."

When we picture the ancient Romans, "skinny armpit-hair plucker" may not be the image that comes to mind, yet here we are.

teeth brushing, toothbrush, oral hygiene, toothpaste, dental hygiene They brushed with what now? Giphy

While we fret over fluoride, the Romans brushed their teeth with pee and mouse brains.

Toothpastes of the past were made with all kinds of things—herbs, spices, salts, crushed bone, and more. For the ancient Romans, that "more" included mouse brains and human urine, according to Decisions in Dentistry. Mouse brains were believed to enhance the effectiveness of toothpaste, and urine, imported in large quantities from Portugal, was utilized for its ammonia content and whitening properties. A standard Roman toothpaste would be a mixture of herbs, mouse brains, urine, and a binder such as honey. Oddly enough, it appeared to be somewhat effective, with archeological findings showing a relatively low number of cavities and tooth decay.

@charissekenion
Sailorr has everyone talking about her sound - and her teeth. Here’s my super short history lesson on the practice of ohaguro #ohaguro #geisha #japanese #japantok #aapi #history #japan #historytok #sailorr #japanesebeauty

Meanwhile, in ancient Japan, women tried to blacken their teeth

Teeth whitening is all the rage in modern times, but in the distant past in parts of Asia, making your teeth black was considered beautiful. The practice known as ohaguro was a traditional Japanese practice that, ironically, was intended to prevent tooth decay.

According to a letter in the British Dental Journal, women in ancient Japan would paint a solution of ferric acetate (from iron filings), vinegar, and tannin from tea or vegetables. It was called kanemizuonto and made the teeth appear black. The practice has made a comeback among some rural areas of Southeast Asia, and the Vietnamese-American singer Sailorr has made waves with her blackened teeth as well.

ear picker, history, artifact, grooming, beauty An ornate ear picker.The Swedish History Museum, Stockholm/Wikimedia Commons

Ear pickers were much prettier than Q-tips. In fact, they were an accessory.

The old saying, "Don't put anything in your ear except your elbow," may not be as old as it seems, as people have been inserting objects into their ears to remove wax for a long time.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, it was common to see beautiful, ornate "ear pickers"—small metal tools with a small scoop at the end for cleaning ears as well as teeth and fingernails. According to Jamestown Rediscovery, it was fashionable to wear gold and silver toiletry tools, such as ear pickers or toothpicks, as accessories. It's hard to imagine wearing Q-tips and toothpicks around. Also, ew. But if you look up "ear pickers," you'll find ornate examples from various parts of the world.

At the very least, it's nice to know that modern humans are not the first ones to go to great—and sometimes interesting—lengths to meet an arbitrary social standard of beauty. (And three cheers for modern toothpaste. Seriously.)

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

— (@)

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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Education & Information

Marketing professor says there's one key secret to landing jobs you apply for

Scott Galloway says it's all about being social.

Image via Canva/fizkes

The key to landing a job through networking, according to a marketing professor.

Finding a new job is a nightmare scenario these days. With most people blindly applying for jobs online and submitting them into the ether, there is no guarantee of hearing a "yes" or "no" answer—and even less probability of actually landing the ones applied for.

But according to Scott Galloway, a marketing professor at New York University's Stern School of Business, there is one key thing that has been proven to help people obtain employment.

"Google puts out a job opening, they get 200 CVs within like eight minutes," Galloway said during an interview on Shane Smith’s Vice News podcast. "They limit it down to the 20 most qualified. Seventy percent of the time, the person they pick is someone who has an internal advocate."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Galloway explains that it comes down to networking and making connections with people (i.e. being social in and outside the workplace) that ultimately can help you land a job.

"The way you [achieve professional success] as a young person is you go out, you make friends, you drink, and at every possible opportunity, you help that person out," he said. "You want to be placed in rooms of opportunities when you’re not physically there."

Although it may not lead to instant payoff, maintaining strong social connections and continuing to foster relationships before, during, and after your job search can ultimately pay off. Galloway also explained why it works with an example from high school days.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"The most successful people in high school aren’t the best looking [or] the best athletes, they’re the ones that like other people the most," he said. "The kid who says, 'Hey, you know, great game, Brett,' or 'Wow, way to go on the basketball team, Lisa.' The person who shows the most goodwill and like toward other people is the most popular, successful person in high school.”

Ultimately, being referred to a job by a current employee is a more successful strategy than applying to a role without any connection. Nearly 40 percent of hires actually come from employee referrals, despite only 7 percent of applicants coming from referrals, a study from Jobvite found.

And according to data from Pinpoint ATS (applicant tracking software), candidates that are referred are seven times more likely to be hired than ones applying via job boards.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How to make connections while job hunting

Galloway has three tips to help you connect with people during your job search:

Tip #1: Be as social as possible

"When you're hunting for a job in general, is to be as social as possible," he said. "Go out. Meet as many people as possible. Have fun. Make as many contacts as possible and let people know that you're looking. Most hiring managers have figured out, interviews are f***ing useless. So it's about reference hiring. To a certain extent, networking and looking for a job is a popularity contest. And how do you become most popular and put yourself in a room of opportunities even when you're not physically in it? You like as many other people as possible, you're as social as possible."

Tip #2: Don't be afraid to ask for help

Galloway also adds that it's important to not let your ego get in the way of asking for help. Reaching out will only help you, and is not a sign of weakness.

Tip #3: Be proactive and disciplined

"Make a list of what you're going to do," he said. "Make a list of this many emails, go on LinkedIn, contact this many people. Success in anything is a small series of disciplined efforts everyday."

From Your Site Articles

Man sends colleague a 'bizarre, abusive' email. The reason for it is actually heartwarming.

"Very strong contender for email of the year."

Photo Credit: Canva

A cell phone sticks out of a back pocket. A grumpy baby.

The accidental text. The mistaken email. The butt dial. All of these words, for many, create a modern-day panic about which those in the 1800s didn't have to worry. (Unless one sent a letter by a horse who went rogue.)

This particular mishap was shared on LinkedIn by a man named George Sanders, a self-described branding content manager. He begins his post with the following: "Sorry, I have to share this ABUSIVE and BIZARRE email I received from a colleague last night. NO ONE should be spoken to like this in the workplace. And NO ONE should tell you what to eat or threaten you like this.

'What the hell is this?' Correct. I couldn't understand it at first either."

Near the bottom of the post is a transcribed voice email which reads: "Sit down and eat your dinner, no, eat your pork and eat your vegetables or you'll be in big trouble. Eat it or you'll be in trouble."

George Sanders, LinkedIn, butt dial, funny story A man on LinkedIn shares an unfortunate mishap.Photo Credit: George Sanders, LinkedIn

After some digging, they add the following: "The truth is just utterly enchanting. Turns out my colleague accidentally butt-dialed me on Teams when he and his partner were trying to feed their young child. Gloriously, it took a recording and transcript of the conversation and sent it to me in an email, along with an audio attachment. It wasn't until I listened to the audio I actually realized what had happened.

The fact it captured just that perfectly contained snippet—and how strange it was to receive as a work email—is some delightful serendipity.

Veeeery strong contender for Email of the Year™ right here."

There are well over 100 comments and counting. Many focused on the parenting aspect of it all, with one asking, "In the end, did his son get into big trouble?" Another notes how happy they're not in that "no" phase with their child. "So glad I am past this parenting phase. In related news, I discovered my teenager eating a bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows for breakfast recently—only the marshmallows—so there’s that."

lucky charms, cereal, phases, parenting Man eats a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. Giphy, GIF by 60 Second Docs

Others point out how much they appreciate the lightheartedness of the tech world we live in. "The best part of this post was that you didn’t turn it into a manifesto against technology irreparably changing the world we live in. I was expecting a re-hook saying ‘here’s what butt-dialing revealed about leveraging GenAI…’ and was happy it wasn’t there. Great story!"

And this person was merely pleased by the distraction. "Sometimes an update like this pops into your feed unexpectedly. It's not work. But it reminds us all that human interactions are random, possible, and welcome whenever and however they make their way into our lives. Thank you to all who helped to make this happen for me today. giggles"

Butt dials and accidental texts are a very popular subject on Reddit. Some of them are on pretty old threads, as butt-dialing was easier to do on earlier versions of smartphones. In on thread, someone asks, "Any pocket dialing horror stories?" They're met with nearly 2000 answers, so yes…indeed there are.

butt dial, accidental call, mishap, wrong text, phones A woman picks up to realize it's a butt dial. Giphy, GIF by Offline Granny!

One Redditor creates a strong image: "My husband works with heavy machinery. Every pocket dial sounds like some kind of epic battle between lumberjacks and a Velociraptor/blender hybrid."

Sometimes it happens at the absolute worst times. "I pocket dialed a girl that I was semi-involved with while I was taking a piss. And it was the longest piss of my life. I didn't realize it while I was doing it. She called me later that night and was like, 'Did you really just call me to piss?' It was extremely embarrassing, but we still laugh about it."

My own personal pocket dial story is truly out of a horror film. At around 2:15 a.m., I received a call from my friend Gary. Concerned, I picked up and heard voices screaming, "Give me all your cash," followed by swear words. I called Gary's landline (we all still had them at the time), and he answered, thankfully. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been robbed at gunpoint earlier in the evening—and the ROBBERS must have pocket-dialed me.

Not as sweet as feeding a baby, but nonetheless. Time to put those smartphones on password protected locks...just in case.

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