It's not just about inclusivity — here are six other benefits to boys and girls playing.
It's not just the trendy thing to do.
Have you ever walked past a playground and seen groups of girls playing separately from groups of boys?
Sure, really young kids may not be very discerning in their choice of play partners, but once kids become aware of their gender, they often silo off into their respective gendered groups. Girls may start gathering in a group that plays with dolls or puzzles, while boys may prefer to get dirty and play fight.
Photo via Pixabay.
And while there's nothing wrong with some separation, if it becomes the norm, over time it could end up working against kids as they come into their teen years. If they aren't encouraged to play with kids of the opposite sex, they might eventually feel like they aren't meant to, or that they aren't welcome in those groups.
Even though the 'boys only' clubhouse from "The Little Rascals" might sound like an extreme example, it's not a far cry from what women still experience in certain professions that remain more male-dominated — these women end up feeling like they aren't welcome.
Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem/Unsplash
Thankfully, however, more and more youth programs are encouraging boys and girls to play together in order to help break down the barrier before it develops.
And this style of play isn't just helping kids feel included. There are many other benefits to inclusivity. Here are 6 of them:
1. It can help kids work together more effectively later in life.
Since boys and girls' brains and bodies are somewhat different, how they interact with the world also tends to diverge. But, if they're allowed to play together from an early age, they'll learn to adapt to each other's styles of interacting, which should help them communicate better as adults.
Photo by Mi Pham/Unsplash.
Dr. Gail Saltz, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of medicine and the author of Amazing You, elaborates:
"Children learn from being exposed to new ideas. They learn coping skills from being exposed to and having to manage compromising with others who play differently, they learn tools regarding collaboration, disagreement, compromise, resolving conflict, delayed gratification and frustration tolerance."
2. When boys play with girls, they may be more well-behaved
Both a 2001 study of preschoolers and a 2011 study of adolescents found that regular interaction between the sexes both during and after school leads to an overall decrease in aggression in boys. So if you have a boy who's prone to outbursts, it might be helpful to set up some playdates with girls in his class.
3. Making all toys fair game helps build confidence in both genders.
Photo by Unsplash/Sandy Millar.
If there's no separation between toys and activities, both boys and girls will feel more confident to explore the things they're drawn to, regardless of the gender it might've originally been associated with.
"By allowing boys and girls to play together with a variety of toys, including trucks, cars, play dough, musical instruments, dolls, puppets, and legos, you’re teaching that both genders are equal and okay," explains Katie Ziskind, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), in an email. "Puppets and music are great gender neutral toys for expressive and creative play. "
4. Inclusivity can help promote creative thinking.
Photo via Pixabay.
Piggy-backing on that idea from the first point above, when boys and girls get comfortable interacting with each other, they learn to be more accepting and sensitive to behaviors that are a bit different from their own. They also pick up new ways of relating, thinking and feeling, which can ultimately help them develop into more well-rounded people.
"Some of our most innovative thinking comes from exploring the area of overlap in thinking between two disparate minds," notes Dr. Saltz.
5. Parents can personally benefit too.
Kids certainly learn behaviors from their parents, but it goes both ways. If kids start being more accepting and positive towards the opposite sex, it may encourage their parents to be more mindful about their behavior as well.
This is also an important lesson for parents who want to show their kids why it's important to be accepting of everyone. When you show your kids what that looks like, they'll be more inclined to follow suit.
6. It helps emphasize the importance of the individual.
Photo via Pixabay.
When kids are free to play any way they want with whomever they want, it helps them feel less inhibited by stereotypes that still exist in the world around them. It also encourages them to express who they are or want to be, and embrace all their eccentricities rather than shy away from them.
Encouraging kids to try different things, even if they're the only girl or boy doing it, will ultimately help them find their way in life, and realize that there's nothing wrong with taking the road less traveled. In fact, they'll probably better off for it.
All this is not to say that boys and girls should never play separately. However, since that's more often the default, it's important to realize the benefits of a neutral play zone, too.
"Playing together as children teaches females that they can be strong, physically active, and have a career one day while being a leader in the workplace," writes Ziskind. "Men are taught that it’s okay to cry, that being emotional is a sign of deeper strength and wisdom, and to nurture themselves."
There are so many wonderful things about us that can help us be happier and more comfortable in our own skin. Knowing that, it only makes sense to inspire inclusivity in kids from the moment they start to play with others.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."