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What comes to mind when you think of undocumented immigrants? Probably not Julissa Arce.

This young woman proves there are no barriers — physical or otherwise — when it comes to achieving your dreams.

When you first meet Julissa Arce, you might assume she's like lots of other ambitious young women just looking for her own slice of humble American pie.

And she is. But she also lived with a huge secret for years.

Image by Julissa Arce, featured with permission.


Julissa was an undocumented immigrant who became a citizen two years ago.

She came to Texas from Taxco, Mexico, when she was 11, in 1994. Her parents got her a tourist visa, but when it expired three years later, she didn't go back to Mexico. Instead, her parents enrolled her in school. As Julissa notes in her book, her parents never addressed the expiration of her visa until it was too late.

Today, Julissa is 33 years old. She became an executive at Goldman Sachs before age 30, which might make her seem like a 100% success story. And she is. But her fight to get to where she is today shows us a lot about living as an illegal immigrant, too.

Her life story will hit home for anyone who says undocumented immigrants are only here to steal U.S. jobs.

(Just tell them to read her new book, "My (Underground) American Dream.")

"There’s so much that hasn’t been told ... and I really need to tell the whole story," she said about writing her book."I need to tell not just the victories, but also people need to understand the suffering and all the pain that went into getting to where I wanted to get and I couldn’t think of a more timely time to tell the story."

Julissa first realized the severity of her position while in college.

Julissa was a strong student in high school, but she still experienced a roller coaster of emotions when it came to attending college. Because she was an illegal immigrant, it was entirely possible that she wouldn't be able to attend at all.

Then she read about House Bill 1403 and was told to call then Sen. Rick Noriega's office. Her grades earned her a signed letter from the senator to the University of Texas in Austin asking them to consider Julissa's application. She was in.

But it wasn't smooth sailing from there.

She had purchased fraudulent papers with a fake Social Security number because she was so nervous about staying in America without correct documentation. Her parents and younger brother had decided when she was 18 that it made more financial sense for them to go back to Mexico, but because she wanted to go to college, she stayed, alone. How would she pay for her apartment or her tuition or her books? Julissa got a job and got to work. She manned a funnel cake stand, and she worked at a call center, taking any job that would pay the bills.

In her book, Julissa explains her heightened anxiety during college. She couldn't risk presenting any sort of ID at a bar or club, so she rarely went out. Driving meant risking a traffic stop that could potentially lead to deportation because she didn't have a driver's license.

Julissa speaking at The Berkeley Forum. Image by Julissa Arce, featured with permission.

There were also the more obvious sacrifices, like the comfort of family. Julissa couldn't visit her family once they went back to Mexico. She couldn't risk attempting to come back into the U.S. with fake papers. There was too much at stake. That also meant she had to spend holidays (including Christmas) alone.

This is one of my favorite pictures that I share in "My (Underground) American Dream". I dedicated the book to my mom, Luisa, and my dad, Julio. Today marks the 9th anniversary of my dad's passing and not a day does by that I don't wish I had been by his side in his last hours. It hurts just as much as it did on day one. In his honor, in his memory, I share my journey. My biggest wish is that not a single daughter, father, son, mother would have to be separated. The cost of my American Dream was too high. I share some painful moments about my relationship with my dad in the book, but the way I will always remember him is by his smile, his laugh, his jokes, his silliness! He used to call me Juliana. So today call me Juliana.

A photo posted by julissaarce (@julissaarce) on

Julissa's grades in college were stellar, and she also became involved in the Hispanic Business Student Association, serving as president in her final year. Her work ethic and grades were so impressive, she managed to land one of a few coveted internships at Goldman Sachs before her senior year. She left such a positive impression with them that she secured a job as an analyst with the financial firm before graduation.  

She met a guy in Manhattan, and they got married. That's what got the ball rolling on her path to becoming a U.S. citizen. But when it came time to take the oath in August 2014, it was an understandably emotional moment for Julissa.

In her book, Julissa writes that as she looked around the courtroom, she knew every person in there had worked hard for this moment. "America is still the shining beacon of the world. I kept wiping away my tears, simply overwhelmed to think that this day was finally here, and that never again would I have to live in fear of being deported from the country I loved. Never again would anyone be able to question that I was American."

What does this once-undocumented immigrant think about immigration reform?

She thinks we need a path to citizenship for the millions of undocumented immigrants who already live in America. But she also points out that much can be done at a state and local level, too. Local governments can give people access to driver's licenses, and they can allow for in-state tuition costs for undocumented students as well.

When it comes to 2016 Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, Julissa admits she's disappointed that we've given him a platform: "The problem is that whether he wins or loses — the damage has already been done, and we have a lot of work to do to repair the damage that he has done over the last 18 months that he’s been running his campaign."

Julissa's future isn't slowing down either, which excites her.

Her father died nine years ago, in 2007. She was climbing her way to the top at Goldman Sachs at the time. She recalls in her book slipping into a conference room to cry before composing herself and walking back out to face her coworkers.

Now that Julissa is a citizen, she can visit her family in Mexico whenever she wants to. But she also says she's found her true calling — and it's not on Wall Street. She wants to help other people like her looking for a path to citizenship. She has come out the other side of her incredible struggles a successful woman and wants to share the wealth of her knowledge with those who need it the most — undocumented immigrants who want to earn their way into the country.

During one week in October 2016, Julissa was in New Orleans on Monday, hosted a talk at Berkeley on Tuesday, was invited to the White House on Wednesday, and pitched a TV show on Friday. She's currently working on a TV show inspired by her book, too. America Ferrera is producing the series, making the rounds with Julissa in L.A. as they pitch the show.

Julissa with America Ferrera. Image by Julissa Arce, featured with permission.

Julissa says talking about her story is cathartic, but it's also incredibly important for other immigrants.

In fact, she has a simple yet powerful message to all the young, undocumented immigrants living here now: There's always a way.

"You can’t give up and that the road is tough but, at the end of the road, is your goals and your dreams," Julissa said. "You just can’t give up. You’ve gotta be really strong in your convictions and you gotta know that all of your sacrifices are … your dreams are worth your sacrifices."

I can't wait to see what Julissa does next, and as a fellow Latina, I'm thankful for her perseverance in chasing her dream in spite of the unimaginable obstacles, for the way she's reached such impressive heights at such a young age, and — most importantly — for how she is coming forward to share her powerful story to help others obtain their American dream. Every story matters.

Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

assets.rebelmouse.io

Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

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In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

@wackowinston/TikTok, used with permission

May we all find something that makes us as happy as this dog bed makes Winston.

Dogs of every breed tend to get excited over the littlest things, but Golden Retrievers are just a bit extra whether its with their favorite toys, snacks, or in this case, their beds.

One proud goldie named Winston is winning hearts online thanks to his adorable reaction to a dog bed upgrade. It's honestly understandable—the bed is more of a mini couch. Who wouldn’t be excited?

Winston’s mom, Ashley Jance, not only manages to capture the wholesome moment, but provides the perfect narration.


"This is my old bed... and THIS is my new bed!" Jance says as, indeed, we see Winston jump on one bed then bound to the other as though he were a kid on Christmas showing off his new toys.

And, just like a kid, Winston doesn’t love the idea of sharing as indicated by his playful growls when Dad tries to sit on his new plush throne.

“He’s like, ‘get up!’” Jance says through giggles.

Down in the comments, viewers seemed to catch Winston’s enthusiasm.

“I love this for you Winston!” one person exclaimed.

Another added, “that is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

@wackowinston

im very proud and excited

♬ original sound - Winston The Golden

Of course, not all dogs might take to dog beds as happily as Winston did. A 2012 survey by the American Pet Products Association found that 62% of small dogs, 41% of medium-sized dogs, and 32% of large dogs sleep with their owners.

It's a trend not soon to break. In 2022, Psychology Today reported that 76% of American dog owners allows their dogs to sleep with them.

Still, even for pups who don’t take to their own bed immediately, there are certain steps to take to make their beds seem a bit more appealing. Mostly, it takes establishing routine and safety along with some patience as a pet owner.

Of course, if traditional training doesn't work, pet owners could just show their furry friends this video of Winston because boy is his energy contagious!

If you're interested in getting your own pup a bed like Winston's, they're available on Amazon.


This article originally appeared March.

Health

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults. The symptoms may be surprising.

"75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety."

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults

If it seems that everyone is being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), there may be a reason and it's likely not the reason people think. Diagnostic criteria were initially based off of how ADHD presented in white children who were mostly male, so if you fell outside of that box your diagnosis was often overlooked. This is especially true in girls who then turned into undiagnosed or misdiagnosed women.

But it's not just women who were undiagnosed since the criteria mostly included ways in which hyperactivity showed up—you know, the "H" in ADHD. But not everyone with ADHD presents with the stereotypical hyperactivity bit. Dr. Heather Brannon breaks down ways in which ADHD is missed and how to identify it in adults.

In the first few minutes of the video, Brannon drops a statistic that feels mind-boggling: "75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety." Even though I fit into that category, consider my mind completely boggled because I thought I was a rarity and my psychiatrist was a magician. Turns out, he was probably just up to date on his continuing education credits.

Brannon talks about how people who may express feelings of overwhelm, anxiousness, and tiredness and who are easily frustrated may actually have undiagnosed ADHD.

It's pretty easy to overlook ADHD that presents with more of the attention deficit part of the diagnosis than the hyperactivity part. When someone is having difficulty sitting still, talking so fast that you can barely keep up and is constantly on the go, it's pretty easy to pinpoint there may be an issue.

But when the person is quiet, sits still but misses large chunks of conversations or is chronically forgetful and sleepy, it's much easier to miss the signs, according to Brannon.

Brannon says many people feel bad about themselves without knowing why, so having an answer for why you're feeling this way can be helpful.

The video is really fascinating and may help others recognize signs within themselves or with loved ones.

Give it a gander below:

This article originally appeared last year.

Internet

TikTok 'no-buy quarter' trend is inspiring some brilliant ideas to save money in 2025

Viral 'no-buy quarter' hacks show how to avoid spending money for months at a time

Photo by Nina Uhlikova

Going outside is free, and in April your wallet will feel the gains.

As we move into the middle of December and hopefully start winding down the annual holiday spend-a-palooza, many are already looking ahead to their 2025 savings goals. In the spirit of Movember or Dry January — those feel-good challenges that mix self-improvement with a bit of group accountability — TikTok has given us a viral phenomenon: the “no-buy quarter.”

But, as the name implies, this time the challenge goes beyond a single month. Participants commit to three months of reduced spending, with some hardcore enthusiasts even extending it for a whole year! If you went a little too hard on spending during the holiday season, think of this as the perfect detox for your battered finances.

What is a no-buy quarter?

At its core, the no-buy quarter isn't about cutting out essential purchases. Groceries, medical expenses, and other necessities remain untouched. Instead, the goal is to reduce or eliminate non-essential spending. Think fewer splurges on coffee, takeout, home decor, or trendy gadgets.

@MckenzieMack

For TikTok creator @stephen_spann, a no-buy plan begins with making the most of what you already have. “Use up the food we already have before buying more,” Spann advises, noting the often-forgotten freezer items many households accumulate. He also emphasizes tackling beauty and health products stockpiled in bathroom cabinets before succumbing to the allure of the latest trends.

"If I see something new in the store, I get sucked into that... I need to use up what I already have first."

— @stephen_spann

Save with intention

For TikTok creator Mckenzie Mack, the no-buy quarter is a powerful tool for meeting ambitious financial goals. Mack plans to use the first three months of the year to frontload contributions to her 401(k).

@MckenzieMack

Her method? Increasing contributions to 26% during January through March to take advantage of a large bonus and reduce her contribution rate to 6-7% for the rest of the year.

“To max out your 401(k) in 2025, you need to contribute $23,500,” Mack explains. “By committing to a no-buy quarter, I’m ensuring a large chunk of my bonus goes directly toward my 401k.”

"This is a use-it-or-lose-it situation... I’m leaving a little extra in my fun money bucket, but once it’s gone, it’s gone."

— @MckenzieMack

Break free from spending cycles

Both Mack and Spann point out the emotional and behavioral shifts that come with embracing a no-buy lifestyle. Mack recommends cutting down on streaming services and finding joy in low-cost hobbies like hiking or game nights.

@stephen_spann

Spann, on the other hand, calls attention to the subtle temptations of shopping apps and notifications. “Remove shopping apps from your phone,” he says. “They’re just tempting me.”

"Just because I can get it on sale doesn’t mean I should buy it."

— @stephen_spann

Both creators agree that breaking the consumerist cycle is about appreciating what you already own. By doing so, they say, you save money and cultivate contentment.

How to start your own no-buy quarter

If the idea of a no-buy quarter appeals to you, here are some steps to get started:

  • Identify your essentials: Separate necessary expenses (groceries, rent) from discretionary ones.
  • Set clear rules: Decide what’s off-limits — dining out, clothing purchases, or subscription services.
  • Create a goal: Link your savings to something tangible, like paying down debt or increasing your emergency fund.
  • Track progress: Monitor your spending and celebrate milestones, no matter how small.
  • Find support: Share your plan on social media or with friends. Accountability can help you stay motivated.
  • Choose a cheat: Research shows that making a new routine too difficult is a recipe for bailing on it. Choose one spend to keep you sane.

From clearing out freezers and unsubscribing from services to making coffee at home, the no-buy quarter trend is more than a fleeting challenge. It’s a chance to rethink your relationship with money and discover the joys of intentional living.

Whether you take it on for three months or use it as a launchpad for a year of mindful spending, it could be the reset you need to make 2025 your best financial year yet.

A Christmas song parody for the women of Gen X.

Most of us grow up hearing enough about menopause to understand the very basics of it. Periods stop. Hot flashes happen. Hormones are involved. For most of us, that's about the extent of what we ever learn about what happens during that transitional period of a woman's life. The details of what exactly menopause entails go largely unspoken and unacknowledged, leaving women in their 40s unprepared for years of wondering what the heck is happening to their bodies and minds as they careen toward their 50s.

Perimenopause, the period of time preceding actual menopause, is when all the fun starts. A random sprinkling of symptoms you had no idea were coming suddenly show up, throwing your whole world into disarray—and the chaos lasts for years. Women going through it know that if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry. So, thankfully the chaos has been accurately and hilariously captured by Penn and Kim Holderness in a parody Christmas song medley.

With parodies of "Here Comes Santa Claus," "Sleigh Ride," "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town," "Little Drummer Boy," and "O Christmas Tree," the Holdernesses tackle the forgetfulness, sleeplessness, moodiness, hair thinning, doctor gaslighting and more that comes with perimenopause.

Merry Perimenopause 🎅🏼

Oh HRT, oh HRT. Hormone replacement therapy 🎶

Watch:

@theholdernessfamily

Oh HRT, oh HRT. Hormone replacement therapy 🎶 #perimenopause #christmas

As they so often do, the Holdernesses hit the nail on the head with this parody, and it has Gen X women everywhere cheering.

"The new Gen X female anthem."

"As someone that works in an OBGYN office, I have officially requested this to be added to the waiting room playlist 😂"

"I nearly dropped my coffee-😂-he’s gaslighting you! Love it🤣 I’m rolling!"

"Omg love this! One thing you didn’t mention, the weight gain that comes out of nowhere and will not come off!!!"

"I’m impressed that no one was hurt in the recording of this video. 🤣🤣🤣"

"I have never felt more seen. 💜"

"This is an excellent contribution to society in all the ways 👏👏👏"

"I am so grateful to be going through this hell in a time where we are free to talk/sing about it!'

And there's the one upside to going through perimenopause in the 2020s—people are finally actually talking about it openly, honestly and publicly. Sure, women have always shared their experiences with one another in private conversations, but when you don't have a large enough sampling, it's hard to know what to expect. Doctors are often no help, either dismissing or diminishing your symptoms, telling you they are some version of "normal" or just giving an unhelpful, "Huh, that's weird" and leaving it at that.

To be fair, the symptoms that can come along with perimenopause are vast and varied. We expect the hot flashes and the moodiness, perhaps, but there are super off-the-wall things like dry eyes and ears, shoulder pain, itching all over that no one would logically associate with menopause. So it's understandable that doctors might not know what to do with all the perimenopausal possibilities. And since estrogen levels fluctuate unevenly during perimenopause, it's not always as simple as "get your hormones checked." Some women have a clear hormonal drop and find hormone replacement therapy a lifesaver. Some women experience all kinds of perimenopausal symptoms while never having an abnormal hormone test. A lot of perimenopausal management feels like shooting in the dark.

But hey, at least we have more information than our mothers and grandmothers did and a culture where we can make fun of our mid-life woes with parody videos like this one.

You can follow The Holderness Family on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.