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These words were meant to break these women. But the opposite happened.

They are bravely putting the names they've been called out there for all to see.

You probably see women like them all the time.

Self-assured. Making waves. Moving and shaking out in the world, trying to make a difference and succeeding. There are women doing this everywhere you turn. You might work with some of them. You might be one.

I bet you would never guess by looking at such strong women that they likely endured some really vile put-downs throughout the course of their lives (and probably still do).


You may not guess that they struggled with internalizing those names and phrases, taking years before they could sort out what was true about themselves from what wasn't — that somewhere in the recesses of their psyche, there is still a small voice asking them if they're sure these names aren't true.

Every day, these women wake up and decide to give the middle finger to that voice in their head and whoever first planted those nasty names.

This happens to men sometimes, too.

To be sure, there are men who endure bullying and terrible names, and also have to find internal fortitude to succeed in spite of someone trying to take them down a peg. That happens. It seems for women, however, that it's not a crapshoot of whether they'll endure such abuse but rather a foregone conclusion of a lifetime of it. A bonus gift that comes with the package, if you will.

Maranda Pleasant, founding editor of Mantra magazine, started collecting stories from women who are ready to put these names to rest.

When I asked her why her new ongoing feature "What Have You Been Called?" is so important to her, she put it perfectly:

"We can't heal things that we don't talk about. Shame and silence are so linked. We are rising together, and this is going to happen very very quickly. We're ready. The sisterhood is powerful."

Meet these five brave women (featured in this month's Mantra magazine, along with 13 more) willing to put the names they've been called out there for all to see and to officially label them what they are: bullsh*t.

(Trigger warning: These aren't nice words. Some are cruel and threatening. But they're important for people to see.)

1. Laura Dawn

All images property of Mantra magazine and used with permission.

Things she's been called/told: vain; you walk like a whore; aggressive; bitch; bossy; the Mozart of pushy; awfully smart for such a gorgeous girl; difficult; you work for me so I'll f*ck you if I want to.

She says:

"That's just a small sample. I used to take this kind of thing to heart. I used to ask myself, over and over again, what I could have done differently? Could I dress differently? Not wear makeup? What was it about ME that invited these kinds of comments? Street harassment and these kinds of digs, plus more subtle forms of intimidation, were just part of my life as a young woman who has worked across several industries.

Learning to speak up for myself, learning to advocate for myself and to set acceptable limits has been one of the most empowering aspects of aging as a woman... as an activist and filmmaker, spreading the message that how we treat women in a society actually affects the health of the entire society, is one of my top priorities."

2. Yulady Saluti

Things she's been called/told: good for nothing; lazy; ugly.

She says:

"These are words that rang in my ears many times over the course of my life. When I was younger, such invectives would really hurt me. Sometimes making me feel horrible about myself or how I looked. I actually questioned whether they were true, spending time examining my looks or actions for shreds of validity. I have learned two important lessons from this name calling. First, the only way another person can make me feel bad about myself is if I let them. Second, almost always, the person that called me the name didn’t really believe I was in fact ugly, lazy, or good for nothing. Generally the person projected the qualities in me that they least liked about themselves. Learn to love yourself unconditionally by loving others unconditionally."

3. Sara Agah

Things she's been called/told: brown cow; Miss Piggy; loud; flirty; impulsive; overly emotional.

She says:

"These are a few of the names that have stung since childhood. I wish I could tell you that I've risen above all of them, but truthfully, I'm still a work in progress. They are still empowering mantras for the woman I am today. Being called 'Brown Cow' in school for being Persian made me want to stand taller and proud of my heritage. Body shaming sucks and being called 'Miss Piggy' led me to question my body image. I still have times when I love my curvy body and times when I don't. ... I live life to the fullest. I laugh, play, and love hard and I'm not ashamed of any of it. I'm grateful that each of these words has given me the chance to reflect on my true self."

4. Maranda Pleasant

Things she's been called/told: cougar; f*cking bitch; difficult; worthless; too sexual; too direct; bossy cunt; domineering.

She says:

"I’ve lived my life believing labels, and carrying them like commands, living them out since I was a child. I was ridiculed for not having a father by other kids and beaten, leaving scars on my body and deep fear in my bones, by my caretaker. I carried the worthless label most of my life, attracting partners that would validate it. The importance of this piece was recognizing and embracing the words and beliefs that bring us shame, and taking them back, along with our power. They stopped owning me. This released me from a lifetime spent in shame."

5. Zoƫ Kors

Things she's been called/told: crazy; slut; too much; not enough; f*cking bitch; cunt.

She says:

"When people call me names, the sting is always accompanied by a certain satisfaction. It means I am doing a good job of waking them up. The only reason someone would feel the need to diminish me is if what I am presenting is powerful enough to threaten their sleepy complacency. And that is exactly why I do what I do, to shift paradigms. A wildly-expressed woman cannot be a good girl. The point is not to be liked, but to serve."

This happens to nearly every woman you see.

After seeing such horrible names met with unrelenting determination and grace, we can start talking about it and sorting out the vitriol that we might have internalized, too.

Later this month, Pleasant is plastering all 18 of the images from Mantra in over 200 locations around Paris. Shortly after, she plans to do the same in New York and Los Angeles. She wants women to have the experience of knowing that they aren't alone in being told some pretty nasty things about themselves. She's on a mission to heal the women of the world so we can keep moving forward to reach our individual and collective potential!

So let's start right now with ourselves. If you saw a piece of yourself in these images and stories, let's share this on Facebook and talk about the kinds of names we ourselves have been called. It's time to let them go.

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Three women, three MS journeys: How multiple sclerosis looks different for everyone

Gina, Nathalie and Helga share their reactions to being diagnosed with MS and how they stay informed and positive in the face of ever-changing symptoms.

Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga, Nathalie and Gina all have MS, and their experiences show how differently the disease can manifest.

True

It’s been 155 years since neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot gave the first lecture on a mysterious progressive illness he called ā€œmultiple sclerosis.ā€ Since then, we’ve learned a lot. We know MS causes the immune system to attack healthy tissue, including damaging the brain and spinal cord. Resulting symptoms can be debilitating and include fatigue, blurred vision, memory problems and weakness. Huge advancements in our understanding of MS and its underlying causes, as well as treatment advances, have been made in the past few decades, but MS remains a complex and unpredictable reality for the 2.8 million+ people diagnosed around the world.

Ironically, the only real constant for people living with MS is change. There’s no set pattern or standard progression of the disease, so each person’s experience is unique. Some people with MS have mild symptoms that worsen slowly but sometimes improve, while others can have severe symptoms that drastically alter their daily lives.

All people with MS share some things in common, however, such as the need to stay informed on the ever-evolving research, find various lines of support and try to remain hopeful as they continue living with the disease.

To better understand what navigating life with MS really looks like, three women shared their MS stories with us. Their journeys demonstrate how MS can look different for different people and interestingly, how the language used to talk about the disease can greatly impact how people understand their realities.

woman with horse, woman riding horseGina loves riding her horse, Benita.Courtesy of Sanofi

Gina—Hamburg, Germany (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2017)

When her youngest son was 4 months old, Gina started having problems with her eye. She’d soon learn she was experiencing optic neuritis—her first symptom of MS.

ā€œImmediately after the diagnosis, I looked up facts on MS because I didn’t know anything about it,ā€ Gina says. ā€œAnd as soon as I knew what could really happen with this disease, I actually got scared.ā€

As her family’s primary income provider, she worried about how MS would impact her ability to work as a writer and editor. Her family was afraid she was going to end up in a wheelchair. However, for now, Gina’s MS is managed well enough that she still works full-time and is able to be active.

ā€œWhen I tell somebody that I have MS, they often don't believe me the first time because I don't fulfill any stereotypes,ā€ she says.

Overwhelmed by negative perspectives on living with MS, Gina sought support in the online MS community, which she found to be much more positive.

ā€œI think it’s important to use as many positive words as you can when talking about MS.ā€ It’s important to be realistic while also conveying hope, she says. ā€œMS is an insidious disease that can cause many bad symptoms…that can be frightening, and you can't gloss over it, either.ā€

To give back to the online community that helped her so much, Gina started a blog to share her story and help others trying to learn about their diagnosis.

Though she deals with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction sometimes, Gina stays active swimming, biking, riding horses and playing with her sons, who are now 11 and 6.

Cognitive dysfunction is common in MS, with over half of people affected. It can impact memory, attention, planning, and word-finding. As with many aspects of MS, some people experience mild changes, while others face more challenges.

Gina says that while there’s still a lot of education about MS needed, she feels positive about the future of MS because there’s so much research being done.

woman in wheelchair holding medal, woman rowingNathalie is an award-winning rower with multiple international titles.Courtesy of Sanofi

Nathalie — Pennes Mirabeau, France (diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2002)

Nathalie was a teenager and a competitive athlete when she noticed her first symptoms of MS, but it would take four years of ā€œlimboā€ before she was diagnosed.

ā€œUltimately, the diagnosis was more of a relief, than a shock,ā€ she says. ā€œBecause when you have signs and you don’t know why, it’s worse than knowing, in the end, what you have.ā€

However, learning more about the disease—and the realities of disease progression—scared her.

ā€œThat glimpse of the future was direct and traumatic,ā€ she says. Her neurologist explained that the disease evolves differently for everyone, and her situation might end up being serious or very mild. So, she decided to stop comparing herself to others with MS.

She said to herself, ā€œWe’ll see what happens, and you’ll manage it bit by bit.ā€

By 2005, Nathalie’s MS had progressed to the point of needing a wheelchair. However, that has not dampened her competitive spirit.

Nathalie began her international rowing career in 2009 and has won multiple world titles, including two Paralympic medals—silver in London and bronze in Tokyo. Now, at 42, she still trains 11 times a week. Fatigue can be a problem, and sometimes hard workouts leave her with muscle stiffness and shaking, but she credits her ongoing sports career for helping her feel in tune with her body’s signals.

ā€œOver the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body, letting my body guide when I need to stop and take breaks,ā€ she says.

Nathalie explains that she used to only look backwards because of the initial shock of her diagnosis. In time, she stopped thinking about what she couldn’t do anymore and focused on her future. She now lives in the following mindset: ā€œEven when doors close, don’t miss out on those that open.ā€ Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she focuses on the opportunities she still has. Right now, this includes her training for the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, where she will compete for another rowing medal.

ā€œI only go forward,ā€ she says. ā€œWell, I try, anyway…It’s easy to say, it’s not always easy to do. But that’s what I try to do.ā€

woman exiting water after swimming, woman with great daneHelga's Great Dane has become a helpful and beloved companion.Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga—Johannesburg, South Africa (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2010)

When Helga first started having balance issues and numbness in her feet, she chalked it up to her training as a runner. But when the numbness moved to her face, she knew something was wrong. She never guessed it was MS.

ā€œWhen I was diagnosed, I felt completely overwhelmed and clueless,ā€ Helga says. ā€œI felt that I had nowhere near enough information. I did not know anything about the disease…I had no idea that it was going to be a process of continually monitoring and adjusting your lifestyle.ā€

In the beginning, Helga’s symptoms developed slowly, and she didn’t appear ill to others. She was even able to run for a few years after her diagnosis, but she couldn’t do marathons anymore, and she began to fall frequently due to balance issues and right-foot dragging. Then her cognition issues became more problematic, especially in her job as a trainer in a printing company.

ā€œMy executive function, decision-making and short-term memory were affected to the point that I was eventually medically unfit for work,ā€ she says. She stopped working in 2017.

However, she didn’t stop living life. Even though she could no longer run, she continued to swim competitively. She got a Great Dane puppy and trained him as a service dog to help her walk. She also serves as vice chair of the patient support organization Multiple Sclerosis South Africa, and she advises others who have been diagnosed to join a patient advocacy group as soon as possible to get reliable information and meet others with MS.

Helga says she is ā€œhopefulā€ about the future of MS. ā€œI must say that I am so grateful that we have all the new medications available, because my life would not be the same if it wasn't for that,ā€ she adds.

Part of how she manages her MS is by looking at the positives.

ā€œIf I could tell the world one thing about MS, it would be that MS is an incurable disease of the nervous system, but it's also the greatest teacher of valuing your health, family, friends, and managing change in your life,ā€ she says. ā€œMy life is diversified in a way that I never, ever thought it would, and MS has been honestly the greatest teacher.ā€

Each MS journey is unique – with each person impacted experiencing different struggles, successes, and feelings as they manage this unpredictable disease. But the common thread is clear – there is a critical need for information, support, and hope. We are proud to participate in World MS Day and share these incredible stories of living life while living with MS. To learn more about MS, go to https://www.sanofi.com/why-words-really-matter-when-it-comes-to-multiple-sclerosis.

MAT-GLB-2301642-v1.0-05/2023

This article was sponsored by Sanofi. Participants were compensated when applicable.

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