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'Ted Lasso' excelled at portraying platonic love. Here are the show's Top 6 'love stories.'

We all love a romantic love story, but it's just as fulfilling to witness these platonic love stories play out.

Ted and Rebecca sitting in the stands in the final episode of Ted Lasso

Ted and Rebecca's friendship is one of the best things about the "Ted Lasso" series.

"Ted Lasso" has wrapped up its third and final season, leaving people analyzing and debating and feeling all kinds of feelings about the series and its characters.

Since watching the final episode, I've been thinking about what I've loved most about the show, because seriously, there's a lot to love. Ted himself, of course. The quirky cast of characters. The humor. The triumph and redemption. Roy Kent's grumbles. Sam Obisanya's everything.

Then there are the relationships, which is where the show really shines. Not so much the romantic relationships—those were somewhat meh in the end—but the way the show portrayed genuine platonic love in its various hues. Considering how many shows (over)utilize romance and sex for dramatic effect, it was refreshing to see multiple relationships develop and deepen over three seasons without any romance involved.

Here are (in my humble opinion) the six best platonic relationships on "Ted Lasso."


via GIPHY

6. Trent Crimm and Colin (The Older Mentor Relationship)

One of the most touching scenes of the series was when Richmond player Colin and journalist Trent Crimm (Independent) sat in front of a memorial in Amsterdam that honors the LGBTQ+ people who were persecuted, imprisoned and killed during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands and talked through Colin's feelings about his double life. He was afraid to come out to his teammates, and Trent Crimm had the personal experience and wisdom Colin needed in a mentor.

Crimm offered that mentorship humbly, without being pushy or preachy. The love he showed Colin was a love born of understanding and empathy, which was exactly what Colin needed. And the love Colin had for Crimm was born of gratitude and appreciation. Some of our most valuable relationships in life are the ones we have with a mentor who helps us find the courage to bloom into our truest and best selves.

via GIPHY

5. Ted and Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (The Mutually Therapeutic Relationship)

This relationship began with Ted's disdain for psychologists and Dr. Fieldstone's expert response to his ire. As she patiently let him process his anger, the two developed a healthy therapist-client relationship.

But what was lovely about this storyline was how, despite her attempts to keep a professional distance, Sharon also let Ted into her world, which turned out to be beneficial to both of them. They formed a genuine human relationship in which they each become vulnerable in order to break through their own barriers. The love they shared was based on a reciprocal sharing of pain and fear and a mutual honoring of those feelings, which allowed them both to find healing.

via GIPHY

4. Rebecca and Keely (The Classic Girly Friendship)

At first blush, Rebecca and Keely don't seem like likely friends. Rebecca is a refined, polished, high-powered businesswoman going through a bit of a mid-life crisis, and Keely is a young start-up who wears pigtails and miniskirts and appears flighty despite actually being quite whipsmart. It's a Jaguar-meets-Volkswagon bug friendship, but somehow it works.

The love they share is based on their shared identity as women in the sports business as well as the qualities they bring out in each other. Rebecca helps give Keely the confidence she needs to find success in her PR business, and Keely gives Rebecca the dose of fun and girlish silliness she needs to stay sane in a male-dominated world. Every woman needs a "girl talk" confidant, and these two provide that for each other.

via GIPHY

3. Ted and Coach Beard (The Ride or Die Besties)

Ted and Coach Beard have been through a lot together, and the final season gave us a little insight into how their relationship came about. It should come as no surprise that Ted's unconditional love and acceptance won Beard's undying loyalty, but the love these two share is recognizable to anyone with a bestie. They read each other's thoughts. They aren't afraid to be real with each other. They know when to give each other space. The fact that the other is always beside them and behind them is just a given.

Even though Beard stays in England in the end, we know that their love for one another will remain forever strong. If either one needs something, the other will be there in a blink, no questions asked. This is rock-solid, reliable, forever friendship.

via GIPHY

2. Jamie and Roy (The Unlikely Brotherhood)

Bitter-rivals-to-best-friends is always a winning storyline, but the relationship between these two is particularly enjoyable to witness. In reality, they share a lot in common—a good heart buried beneath a big ego, an intense work ethic and similar taste in women—which is why they butt heads so much. The love they end up sharing has been hard-won through uncomfortable moments of reaching out and letting their compassion and vulnerability trump their pride.

They understand each other more than most. They've both been living on emotional islands, largely of their own making, and they're probably the only ones who could truly reach one another. And ultimately, they both become better people because of their friendship, which is exactly what friendship should do.

via GIPHY

1. Ted and Rebecca (The Proof that Men and Women Can Be Close Friends)

Over the three years that they built the Richmond team together, Ted and Rebecca became good friends. That's it. Good, close friends who love one another very much. They're both attractive and were both available much of the time, but they remained just friends. Yes, she was technically his boss, but that didn't stop her from getting involved with Sam, so it's not like it would have been completely out of bounds for the show makers to put Ted and Rebecca together. They teased us with it a few times, but I'm so glad they didn't do it.

We've really shot ourselves in the foot as a society by making it seem like women and men can never truly be friends. (Thanks a bunch, "When Harry Met Sally!") Rebecca was the last one to say goodbye to Ted at the airport, and it was an emotionally intimate moment that portrayed how pure the love between them was without romance or sex getting in the way. And it was absolutely beautiful.

One of the words people use to describe "Ted Lasso" is "wholesome," which is a bit ironic considering how many f-bombs got dropped in each episode. But much of the show's wholesomeness hinged on these platonic relationships that grew deeper and stronger without crossing the line into romantic involvement. Advertisers and executives think people want sex, when what we really want to see is genuine human connection and a full spectrum of relationships that evolve without always ending up in bed.

We all love a romantic love story, but it's just as fulfilling to witness platonic love stories play out. Thank you, "Ted Lasso," for showing us how it's done.

Watch the cast talk about the real friendships they developed on set while filming the show:

Modern Families

Do you have a "living room family" or a "bedroom family"?

This 'debate' is all the rage on TikTok. But one is not better than the other.

alexxx1915/TikTok

TikTok user alexxx1915 recently posted a short video with the caption: "I just learned the term 'living room family' and I never understood why my kids never played in their rooms when I always did as a kid."

She briefly shows her kids hanging out in the living room with their pet dog and some toys scattered around the floor, before panning to her own face and giving a sort of sentimental look. The simple, ten-second clip struck a huge nerve with parents, racking up over 25 million views and thousands of heartfelt comments.






@alexxx1915

#livingroomfamily #fypシ

What are "living room families" and "bedroom families"?

This idea has been going around for a while on social media.

Simply put, a living room family is a family that congregates in the living room, or any common space in the household. Kids play in the same space where the adults relax — and things are often messy, as a result. Everyone interacts with each other and spends lots of time together. Bedrooms are reserved mostly for sleeping and dressing.

A bedroom family, on the other hand, is where the kids spend more time in their rooms. They play there, watch TV, and maybe even eat meals. Typically, the main rooms of the house are kept neat and tidy — you won't find a lot of toys scattered about — and family time spent together is more structured and planned ahead rather than casual.

"Living room families" has become the latest aspirational term on TikTok. Everyone wants to be a living room family!

The implication of being a bedroom family, or having 'room kids', is that perhaps they don't feel safe or comfortable or even allowed to take up room in the rest of the house, or to be around the adults.

"I remember my brother coming round once and he just sat in silence while watching my kids play in livingroom. After a while he looked at me and said 'It's so nice that your kids want to be around you'" one commenter said on alexxx1915's video.

"I thought my kids hated their rooms 🥺 turns out they like me more" said another.

"You broke a generational curse. Good job mama!" said yet another.

There's so much that's great about having a family that lives out in the open — especially if you were raised feeling like you had to hide in your room.

In my own household, we're definitely a living room family. We're around each other constantly, and the house is often a mess because of it. Learning about this term makes me feel a little better that my kids want to be around us and feel comfortable enough to get their 'play mess' all over the living room.

The mess is a sign of the love and comfort we all share together.

But the big twist is that it's also perfectly fine if your kids — and you! — like a little more solitary time.

boy playing with toys on the floorGavyn Alejandro/Unsplash

Being a 'bedroom family' is actually perfectly OK.

There's a similar discourse that took place last year about living room parents vs bedroom parents. The general consensus seemed to be that it was better to be a living room parent, who relaxed out in the open versus taking alone time behind closed doors.

But it really doesn't have to be one or the other, and neither is necessarily better.

Making your kids feel relegated to their room is, obviously, not great. It's not a good thing if they feel like they're not allowed to exist in and play in the rest of the house.

But if they just like hanging out in their room? Nothing wrong with that at all! And same goes for parents.

Alone time is important for parents and kids alike, and everyone needs different amounts of it to thrive.

Kids with certain special needs, like being on the autism spectrum, may be absolutely thrilled to spend lots of time in their rooms, for example.

So are you a living room family or a bedroom family? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, as long as your family loves each other and allows everyone to be exactly who they are.

via Imgur

Memories of testing like this gets people fired up.

It doesn't take much to cause everyone on the internet to go a little crazy, so it's not completely surprising that an incorrect answer on a child's math test is the latest event to get people fired up.

The test in question asked kids to solve "5 x 3" using repeated addition. Under this method, the correct answer is "5 groups of 3," not "3 groups of 5." The question is typical of Common Core but has many questioning this type of standardized testing and how it affects learning.


After an image of the test was uploaded to Imgur, many took to voicing their opinions on both sides of the argument. One commenter took up the side of the student, saying, "As an instructor: fuck it. I am actually happy when I see people finding alternative ways to solve the problems." Another said, "Actually the teacher is correct. 5*3 means 5 times the number 3, or 3+3+3+3+3. Understand, we are not in the room when it was TAUGHT."

One thing we can all agree on is about "5+5+5" is that it equals another example of how much people on the internet love to argue.

school system, internet, school

Did you get it wrong too?

Imgur

This article originally appeared on 9.9.21

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.


How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

Photo from YouTube video.

Photo of Skylar.

Even though he was born "Katherine Elizabeth," Skylar lived like a regular little boy for most of his childhood.

He was happy.


This is Skylar.

A photo collection of a young Skylar.

Photo from YouTube video.

Little Skylar.

Photo from YouTube video.

But when puberty hit, he started feeling intense pressure to be "normal" and fit in. So he tried to present as more traditionally "feminine."

Puberty happens.

Photo from YouTube video.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was denying a huge part of himself. Late in high school, he started taking testosterone.

Eating and feeling more comfortable.

Photo from YouTube video.

Skylar started feeling more comfortable immediately. And before he knew it, he was at his "dream school," having the time of his life. And taking lots and lots of pictures of himself.

A person and their dog.

Photo from YouTube video.

Access to medical care played a big part in Skylar becoming the person he is today, but that wasn't all.

Check out his story and walk five years in his shoes. It's definitely a perspective we don't see often enough:

This article originally appeared on 08.30.14

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree.

Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.


Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial.

"The bottom line is that mental health is health," she says over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

work emails, depression, office emails, community

Madalyn Parker was honest with her colleagues about her situation.

Photo courtesy Madalyn Parker.

She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."

Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."

Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.

Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."


This article originally appeared on 07.11.17