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Pop Culture

'Ted Lasso' star Hannah Waddingham learns how to be a rock star and people are gobsmacked

If you think her air guitar skills are something wait till she hits that high note.

hannah waddingham, eurovision
en.wikipedia.org

Waddingham knows how to put on a show.

If, like many people, you came to really know and love Hannah Waddingham from her role on “Ted Lasso,” you might be surprised to learn that she is not only a gifted actress but a talented singer. (Well, those few times on the show when her character, Rebecca, busted out a few notes might have been a clear indicator.)

She has an extensive musical theatre background, with one of her most notable performances being The Lady of the Lake in “Spamalot,” a role she originated and which won her an Olivier Award for Best Actress in a Musical.

Still, even the biggest Waddingham fans who have been following her career since day one were not prepared for her night of co-hosting 2023’s Eurovision, an annual international song competition that features music mainly from European countries.

From her stunning rainbow dress that perfectly mimicked the stage lights to flawlessly presenting in French, Waddingham completely stole the show.

But without a doubt, the most epic moment of the night came when Waddingham was being taught how to “rock out” by co-host and Ukrainian singer Julia Sanina. In just 90 seconds, she not only showed off some impressive air guitar skills but also unleashed an unbelievably high-pitched note that would even make Axl Rose swoon.

Check it out below:

Needless to say, Twitter was all aflutter about it.

“Hannah Waddingham not only flexing her insane air guitar skills but her unreal singing voice.”

“This is Hannah Waddingham’s world. We’re just living in it..”

“Just when I think I couldn't love her more…”

“Hannah is so badass. Thank you Ted Lasso for introducing her to us yanks. On a sidenote, my daughter dressed as Ted Lasso for Halloween two years ago when she was 17. Both Jason and Hannah liked the picture of her that I tweeted out. She was over the moon for a month.”

“Hannah Waddingham, restoring peace between the realms.”

“I loved her hosting, effortless, easy to watch and very engaging. She’s got charm and brings the fun. Well done Hannah!”

Yeah…Waddingham technically might have not been competing, but I think we can all agree she pretty much won the whole damn thing.

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5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a dad joke so epic you'll hurt your eyes from rolling them so hard. These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress—and this week, in honor of Father's Day, it's dad-themed.

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1.The "soulmated so hard" trend

@breezeb3a

I’ll never recover from losing you 💓

♬ The Winner Is... Version - DeVotchKa

This is a TikTok trend that’s both wholesome and, at times, actually jaw-dropping. The premise is this: Pets can be our soulmates, and sometimes we “soulmate” so hard that our pets leave a lifelong impression on us. This trend has people showing how big of an impression their pets have made on them, even after they’ve crossed the rainbow bridge. In one video, user Brianna Kay shares an ultrasound of her baby with what looks like the outline of her dog kissing the baby on the forehead. In another video, an owner asks her soulmate cat to send her a sign from beyond the grave that she is at peace. The response (here) will shock you.

2. Dudes getting flowers

Why is it that men (traditionally speaking) are the ones who give flowers, and not usually the ones who get them? We don’t have a good answer for that, but it’s clearly time to flip the script. This week, our friends from All In are hitting the streets of New York and delivering bouquets to men, and they are absolutely loving it. Let’s make this a regular thing.

3. A new grandpa gets good news  

@ellelauricella In my feels today remembering my dad’s reaction to meeting my baby ❤️ We named his middle name after my father and kept it a surprise my whole pregnancy. This was one of the happiest moments of my whole life. #postpartum #dad #dadsoftiktok #dadanddaughter #grandson #firstgrandbaby #birthvlog #hospitalbirth #momsoftiktok #fyp #firsttimemom ♬ Stuff We Did (from 'Up') - Piano Version - your movie soundtrack

Just in time for Father's Day! There’s almost no better way to honor your dad than naming a new baby after him, which is exactly what happens in this video. It’s almost impossible not to cry (happy tears!) seeing this new grandpa learn the good news from his daughter, who’s already weepy from postpartum hormones. (We’re not crying, you’re crying.)

4. Dad's loving dogs

@aubree.avery I had to make a PowerPoint to convice my parents to let me get her & now she is four years old and my parents beg me everyday to let them keep her. #dogmom #doodle #doodlesoftiktok #dogs ♬ Kiss me Sixpence None The Richer - whitelinesprettybabyy

Speaking of adorable dads: It seems like there’s this universal experience where when someone brings a pet into a household, the dad of the household will refuse to bond with it (at least at first). TikTok has latched on to this truth and is now flipping the script, showcasing dads who initially refused to accept the family pet and are now treating it like their precious firstborn. Search “dads and the dog they didn’t want” on TikTok and you’ll find some hilarious examples (like this dad, testing every couch inside a furniture store to make sure he’s able to adequately rub the dog’s belly from his seat on the sofa).

5. A dog who just cannot handle a prank 

@haleyandthepets spoiler bro got mad instantly #foryou #foryoupage #dogs #fyp #dunkindadawg #viral ♬ snoopy von - joro.mixes

We can never share enough dog content, right? (That was a rhetorical question, because the answer is of course not.) Dogs are adorable. They’re hilarious. And they have some very strong feelings. In this video, one easygoing dog gets his “nose stolen” as a prank, and every time he finds out, he shows his owner that he is absolutely not having it. Give that baby her nose back!

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors can't do an English accent

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American."

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones"?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Holmes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady"). Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British. Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.


@benedicttown The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent
♬ original sound - Benedict Townsend

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.


What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added. "I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.


What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or "There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.” For example, a person from New Jersey would pronounce cot and catch it as "caht" and "cawt," while someone from Los Angeles may pronounce them as "caht" and "caht."

To get a better idea of the big difference in how "caught" and "cot" are pronounced in the U.S., you can take a look at the educational video below, produced for a college course on linguistics.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. For some actors, it could mean the difference between a great performance and one that has people scratching their heads. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

actors
Pop Culture

Garage door falls on truck, forcing single mom to give 9-yr-old an impromptu driving lesson

You never know where parenting is going to take you.

Photo credit: Canva

Bet this was not on her bingo card for the day.

Parenting often means using whatever resources you’ve got around you—and that goes double for single moms and dads. For a Tennessee-based single mom named Taylor, being resourceful meant giving her nine-year-old daughter Sophie an impromptu driving lesson.

From a clip posted to Taylor’s TikTok, we can deduce that she had been pulling her truck out from the garage at 6 a.m. when the garage door FELL ONTO THE CAR (how’s that for new nightmare fuel?). Luckily, the rails on top of the truck protected it and the passengers from any blows, but it was nonetheless stuck.

Having no one to come help in time, Taylor taught Sophie how to reverse the car while she stood on her tip toes to hold up the door, and her younger child recorded the whole thing.

@taylorctn423 BEING A SINGLE MOM IS NOT FOR THE WEAK! This morning my garage door came down on my truck. My dad is 5hrs away and I had nobody but myself and my girls. So what did I do? I taught my 9yo how to back up my truck while I held the garage door up. Thank goodness my truck has the rails on top or it could’ve been worse. My days are never boring. On a side note.. I need a new garage door. Where are my garage contractors at? #redvelvet #ginga #girlmom #singlemom ♬ Thunderstruck - AC/DC

While the video has AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" overshadowing any conversation, Taylor recalled her instruction in an interview with Newsweek:

"I told her, 'Your left foot is useless, leave it to the side. Put your right foot on the brake and ease your foot off when I tell you to.'” she said. "Once I got the garage lifted off my truck I said, 'OK, now gently ease your foot off the brake. Easy. Now brake!'"

Honestly, that’s solid advice right there.

The video quickly racked up 7.5 million views and tons of praise for the way Taylor handled the less-than-ideal situation. Not to mention there were quite a few folks who recognized how cool this moment must have been for Sophie.

"Strong women raising strong women"

"With a sundress and tiptoes?! You win the day.”

“You kid waited their whole life for this moment.”

“Oh I just know her lunchtime debrief with her friends is going to be amazing.”

“It will be a core memory for her life”

“You- irritated, overstimulated, annoyed, etc. Your 9yo- OMG THIS WAS SO COOL. Your younger one recording- mom can I do it next time.”

Thanks to multiple requests, Taylor did end up sharing another video, this time without the background music, so that the entire conversation could be witnessed. Let’s just say it paints a very different picture.

@taylorctn423 Replying to @Starbinder the highly requested video without the audio😅 Our 6yo camera girl was supportive towards the end #singlemom #girlmom #trending #garage #ford #girlmom ♬ original sound - Taylor

“Okay, without the music, I can feel mama’s stress,” one person wrote. And they’re not wrong. What the first clip didn’t depict is Taylor having to navigate this while her little one is screaming with anxiety. Fun times. But on the flip side, we get to hear the younger child being very proud of her big sis. So there's that.

As one person quipped, “camera girl was going through so many emotions.”

@taylorctn423 Replying to @Lv2Laf 🤗🇺🇸 my 6yo who took the video! I have been reading the comments to the girls are they are so excited about all of it! #singlemom #girlmom #trending #garage #ford #ginga #redvelvet #ginger #daughter #redhead #taylorswift ♬ NO MUSIC - Sok Baraby

In her video's caption, Taylor wrote, “BEING A SINGLE MOM IS NOT FOR THE WEAK,” and if this video is any indication, truer words were never written. But she’s doing a great job at raising two more strong gals, just like her.

And in case anyone is wondering—Taylor's dad, who lives six hours away and couldn’t help with the emergency promptly at the time, will be replacing that faulty garage door. Huzzah.

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Movies

The real-life love story of Maria and Georg Von Trapp we didn't see in 'The Sound of Music'

"I really and truly was not in love."

Photo credit: Public domain

Maria Von Trapp was not in love with Georg when they got married, but that changed.

The Sound of Music has been beloved for generations, partially for the music (and Julie Andrews' angelic voice), partially for the historical storyline, and partially for the love story between Maria and Georg Von Trapp. The idea of a nun-in-training softening the heart of a curmudgeonly widower, falling in love with him, and ultimately becoming a big, happy family is just an irresistible love story.

But it turns out the real love story behind their union is even more fascinating.

maria von trapp, georg von trapp, the sound of music, love story, historyMaria Von Trapp (left) was played by Julie Andrews and her husband Georg was played by Christopher Plummer in "The Sound of Music."Photo credit: Public domain

The National Archives has collected information about what's fact and what's fiction in The Sound of Music, which is based on a real family in Austria named Von Trapp. The film was generally based on the first section of Maria Von Trapp's 1949 autobiography, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, with some of the details being true and others fictionalized for a movie audience.

For instance, Maria was actually hired on as a tutor for just one of Georg's children, not as a governess for all of them. The children, whose names, ages and sexes were changed, were already musically inclined before Maria arrived. Georg was not the cold, grumpy dad he was portrayed as in the beginning of the film, but rather a warm and involved parent who enjoyed making music with his kids. Maria and Georg were married 11 years before leaving Austria, not right before the Nazi takeover. The Von Trapps left by train, not in a secret excursion over the mountains.

But perhaps the most intriguing detail? Maria was not in love with Georg at all when they got married.

gif, the sound of music, von trapp family, movie, true eventsSound Of Music Flag GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy

It doesn't initially make for a great Hollywood romance, but the Von Trapp love story began with marriage for other reasons and evolved into a genuine love story. Maria wrote that she fell in love with Georg's children at first sight, but she wasn't sure about leaving her religious calling when Georg asked her to marry him. The nuns urged her to do God's will and marry him, but for Maria it was all about the children, not him. When Georg proposed, he asked her to stay with him and become a second mother to his children. "God must have made him word it that way," Maria wrote, "because if he had only asked me to marry him I might not have said yes."

"I really and truly was not in love," she wrote. "I liked him but didn't love him. However, I loved the children, so in a way I really married the children."

However, she shared that her feelings for Georg changed over time. "…[B]y and by I learned to love him more than I have ever loved before or after."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The idea of marrying someone you don't love is antithetical to every romantic notion our society celebrates, yet the evolution of Maria's love for Georg has been a common occurrence across many cultures throughout history. Romantic love was not always the primary impetus for marriage. It was more often an economic proposition and communal arrangement that united families and peoples, formed the basis of alliances, and enabled individuals to rise through social ranks. Some cultures still practice arranged marriage, which limited research has found has outcomes identical to love-first marriage in reports of passionate love, companionate love, satisfaction, and commitment. The idea of marrying someone you don't already love is anathema to modern Western sensibilities, but the reality is that people have married over the centuries for many reasons, only one of which is falling in love.

Maria's marriage to Georg actually was about falling in love, but not with him. She loved his children and wanted to be with them. It definitely helped that she liked the guy, but she wasn't swept off her feet by him, there were no moonlit confessions of love a la "Something Good," and their happily ever after love story didn't come until much later.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Ultimately, Maria and Georg's love story was one for the ages, just not one that fits the Hollywood film trope. And it's a compelling reminder that our unwritten rules and social norms determining what love and marriage should look like aren't set in stone. Do marriages for reasons other than love always evolve into genuine love? No. Do marriages based on falling in love first always last? Also no. Should a marriage that starts with "like" and develops into to a genuine, deep love over years be considered "true love" in the way we usually think of it? Who can say? Lots to ponder over in this love story.

But Maria's description of learning "to love him more than I have ever loved before or after" is a pretty high bar, so clearly it worked for them. The Von Trapps were married for 20 years and had three more children together before Georg died of lung cancer in 1947. Maria would live another four decades and never remarried. She died in 1987 at age 82 and is buried next to Georg on the family's property in Vermont.

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Culture

Millennials experience a delicious bite of nostalgia sharing the 90s snacks they miss the most

"Push pops omg."

Images via Wikipedia

Millennials get nostalgic about their favorite 90s snack foods.

From cereal to chips to candy, the 1990s produced some pretty iconic snack foods. Millennials reached for their favorite childhood snacks in their backpacks, in the cupboard after school, and at the gas stations where there were treats galore.

In a Reddit forum, member @Downtown-Rise5606 posed this question to Millennials: "What was your favorite childhood snack from the 90s? Like you wake up on a Saturday morning to watch cartoons, what is the snack you always reached for?"

The question had many Millennials walking down memory lane, reminiscing about simpler times and the foods that defined them. These are 52 nostalgic 90s snack foods that people miss the most.

90s, 1990s, full house, 90s food, 90s foodsHungry Full House GIFGiphy

"Jell-O Pudding Pops. Grape Swedish Fish." —@kurujiru

"Cheese Nips hit totally different than Cheezits." —@baardvark

"Magic middles, Smurf berry crunch cereal, Tmnt ninja pies, Carnation breakfast bars, RC premium draft cola in the glass bottles, Dinasour Eggs candy, PB Crisps, Tatoskins chips, Dunkin doughnuts cereal." —@No_Ad295

trix, trix cereal, 90s cereal, 1990s cereal, trix fruit ceralFood 90S GIFGiphy

"SnackWells devil food cookies, while part of the terrible toxic 80s and 90s diet food culture, were f*cking SO delicious. As far as just Saturday morning cartoon nostalgic foods, you can't go wrong with Trix cereal, when it was still in the shape of fruits. I also like Nerds cereal a lot, and as an older kid and teen, Basic 4 was where it was at. Once, apparently Basic 4 was having a special promo, because we opened a box that we had just bought and inside was a fresh $5 cash bill." —@horsetooth_mcgee

"It's a cereal, but I miss Alpha-Bits." —@CanIGetAWitness16

"Fruit wrinkles." —@rich4pres

pushpop, push pop, pushpops, pushpops, 90s candypush pop GIFGiphy

"Push pops omg. Those Betty Crocker pop bottle fruit snacks. I could probably write a really long list lol." —@73738484737383874

"Nabisco Dip in a Chip." —@CountrymanR60

"The Simpsons cereal…Homer O’s and Krusty had a flavor too…the buzz lightyear cereal….rice crispy TREATS cereal…a cold box of ecto cooler after riding bikes around the neighborhood with your buddies…crackers and peanut butter with a tall glass of milk." —@firestarter1877

"Carnation Breakfast Bars. The chocolate chip was fabulous!!" —@iheartmycats820

"Doo Dads." —@SonnyCrocket87

"Ecto Cooler, Ninja Turtles Pizza chips, cookies and cream Twix, Butterfinger BBs, Rice Crispy Treat Cereal, Crystal Pepsi, Clearly Canadian, Snapple Elements, Dunkaroos, Flintstones Push Pops, Ritz cheese sandwich crackers that don’t taste like metal." —@LegitimateHumanBeing

crystal pepsi, pepsi, pepsi crystal, crystal pop, crystal sodaVhs Pepsi GIFGiphy

"Can we bring back the glass Sobe bottles? Specifically, the strawberry banana." —@TheDungeonLurker

"Trix yogurt." —@NichoBrown


pudding pop, pudding pops, jello pudding pop, jello, jello popsBill Cosby The 80S GIFGiphy


"Jello Pudding Pops, and Pizzarias from Keebler. I really wish someone would bring Pizzarias back." —@Harlow1976

"Wheatables crackers were so much better than Wheat Thins. Those Planters PB Crisps (and the chocolate ones) are sorely missed. And the Philadelphia cheesecake bars... those things were amazing." —@Worried_Biscotti_552

"Waffle crisp!" —@morethanill

"Oreo Os and Berry Berry Kix cereal." —@Illustrious_Cold5699


pop tart, poptart, poptarts, poptart, 90s pastryFood Drink 90S GIF by Shaking Food GIFsGiphy

"Pop tarts." —@Both-Cap1441

"Hostess Banana Flips." —@No_Sand_9290

"Mr. Bones candy. Grape Bubble Yum." —@Vancj012

"Kudos bars." —@J-littletree

"When I was a kid our grocery store used to carry like these "gourmet" fruit roll-ups which were like a normal fruit roll-up except more natural I guess and they tasted more like real fruit they were so good they had the most bizarre mouthfeel." —@JackhorseBowman

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Learning

13 common phrases that make people cringe (and what to say instead)

“Few things shut down a conversation faster than this one.”

Photo credit: Canva

When honesty isn't always the best policy.

Ah, the awkward silence. We all pretend not to notice it—suddenly stretching our arms or scanning every corner of the room—but it's there. Sometimes it stems from something we've said, and often we don't even know why! Given how people come from such different backgrounds and upbringings, these conversational missteps are practically inevitable.

But don't worry! A touch of social anxiety never hurt anyone, and usually the solution is as simple as adjusting your phrasing. Etiquette experts and social skills coaches agree that despite our differences, certain specific phrases universally come across as tone-deaf, even when we're genuinely trying to connect. We've rounded up 13 of the worst offenders—do you catch yourself using any of these?


via GIPHY

“I’m just being honest”

Honesty may be a virtue, but not when it’s used like this. When someone says, “I’m just being honest,” it’s typically to justify bluntness or insensitivity, therefore absolving them of any guilt or shame from the resulting hurt feelings.

Use this instead: “Can I offer some feedback?” or “I want to be honest with you, but I also want to be kind.”

“No offense, but…”

Stop right there, buddy. With a preface like that, it’s pretty darn likely that the following sentence will be offensive. “It rarely works and often insults people,” personal and corporate life coach, Mason Farmani, warns.

Use this instead: “I hope you don’t mind me saying,” or “I’m really sorry if this comes across as rude, but…”


via GIPHY

You’re too sensitive.

This sentence is a one-way ticket to an emotional connection dead zone. Even if they are a sensitive person, it communicates that their feelings are invalid, and can make them feel even more alienated.

Use this instead: “I’m here for you.”

“Whatever.”

“This dismissive phrase is a conversational version of the middle finger,” Farmani says.

Use this instead: Words that reflect how you actually feel.

‘Whatever,’ what a versatile word! Depending on the context, try throwing one of these out instead:

  • “Let’s agree to disagree.”
  • “I’m not sure how to respond to this right now. Can we take a pause?”
  • “I hear what you’re saying.”
  • “I don’t feel strongly either way—what do you think is best?”

gnome, sign, whatever, go away, social skillsWith “whatever,” you might as well be saying “Go away.” Photo by John Bussell on Unsplash

“Calm down.”

Genuine question: has this ever worked on anyone? “Rare is the person who is actually made more calm when told to 'calm down,’” explains Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the weekly podcast Were You Raised By Wolves?

Use this instead: “Take your time. I’m here when you're ready.”

“You always…” or “You never…”

These words are conversation poison because they’re disproportionate generalizations. “They put the other on the defensive and start a confrontation,” reports Farmani.

Use this instead: An ‘I’ statement.

Instead of saying “You never help me,” shift to your experience and the impact of that lack of assistance to, “I felt overwhelmed this morning when I was making the kids' breakfast by myself. I’d love some help before work.”

Be specific, assertive (but kind), and show empathy.


via GIPHY

“I told you so.”

Congrats, do you want a cookie? Saying this serves no purpose, besides making yourself feel superior. It adds nothing to the conversation and makes the other person feel even worse—like you’re running a victory lap around their mistake.

Use this instead: “I’m here if you want to talk about what happened.”

“Not my problem.”

This is a lack of empathy slap in the face! Even if something isn’t your responsibility, there are more considerate ways to communicate that.

Use this instead: “That sounds tough. Have you tried [RESOURCE] or [SUGGESTION]?”

Or, if you’re open to hearing what’s on their mind: “I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. Is there a specific way I can support you?”

people, couch, arms crossed, mad, argumentJust because it's technically not your problem, you might be creating a brand-new one. Photo credit: Canva

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Saying this creates an instant, impenetrable, icy barrier between you and the other person. Few strings of words shut down a conversation like this one, because of how dismissed the other person feels as a result.

Use this instead: “Have you ever felt [describe a relatable emotion or situation]? It’s something like that.”

“Actually…”

In grammar, ‘actually’ serves a contradiction or correction, which can make the other person feel demeaned. “The primary goal in social interaction is to be understood by fellow conversation participants. If that is accomplished, it should not matter what the exact phonetics and syntax of the speech are,” writes Benjamin Davis of The Michigan Daily.

Use this instead: “That’s an interesting point. I see it a bit differently—do you mind if I share?”

Or, if it’s just a simple correction: “In my understanding…”


via GIPHY

“I don’t care.”

Even if it’s true, do you have to say it so dismissively? Being on the receiving end of this can feel disheartening. Or, as one social communications expert put it, “It’s a phrase that can immediately create distance and a sense of disconnection in a conversation.”

Use this instead:

There are many ways to not care, and things to not care about. So, try these:

  • “I’m flexible.”
  • “I’m good with whatever you choose.”
  • “No preference here.”
  • “Sounds like you’re [INSERT EMOTION]. Thanks for sharing that with me.”

“That’s stupid.”

Well…now what? Where can a productive conversation possibly go after a statement like this?

Use this instead: “I’m not sure if I understand. Can you walk me through your thinking?”

via GIPHY

“Why are you being so dramatic?”

“This is a way of invalidating your feelings and treating them as a defect rather than a perfectly normal part of communicating,” Farmani explains.

Use this instead: “Is there something specific that’s making this feel especially hard right now?” Even if they may seem extreme, instead of labeling their actions as "dramatic," try to understand what’s going on behind the scenes and driving that emotional response.


Human empathy is at the core of social skills. To get better at conversations, it’s best to avoid phrases that dismiss, belittle, or invalidate others—whether that was your intention or not.

“How we speak shapes how others see us,” as one expert puts it. “A little extra care with our words can mean the difference between connection and conflict.” So, in your very next conversation, keep in mind: it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. There are ways to be truthful about your thoughts and opinions without being dismissive. And leave these 13 phrases at home, please!

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