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How to stop waking up each night at 3 or 4 in the morning

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

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A woman with her eye mask on in bed.

Do you often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. with an intense feeling of anxiety? Do you get stressed that you’re awake and begin making a mental laundry list of everything you need to do the next day? Do you start thinking about fights you once had with your spouse or ponder how you have let yourself down in the past?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. regularly and there’s a reason why we choose this time to catastrophize and worry. The good news is that there are some steps we can take to get through that awkward phase of the night so we can wake up refreshed.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every night?

Many of us reliably wake up in the middle of the night because after we’ve had a good chunk of sleep, our bodies start to slowly prepare us for the day by reducing melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep and increasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

That biological phase of sleep is why we start to feel stressed.



insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, how to sleep better, melatonin, stress A woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva


After the big hormone release at 3 or 4 in the morning, if you are dealing with stress in your life, you are more likely to wake up. If your life is calmer and you don’t already have a stress baseline, you will probably wake up, fall asleep quickly and forget that it happened.

Why do I wake up feeling stressed in the middle of the night?

If you’re already experiencing stress in your life, that extra cortisol kick is going to cause you to wake up with a feeling of anxiety. The problem is that when we’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, we are in a vulnerable position. “Around this time in the sleep cycle, we’re at our lowest ebb physically and cognitively. From nature’s viewpoint, this is meant to be a time of physical and emotional recovery, so it’s understandable that our internal resources are low,” Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, writes in The Conversation.

“But we also lack other resources in the middle of the night – social connections, cultural assets, all the coping skills of an adult are unavailable at this time,” Murray continues. “With none of our human skills and capital, we are left alone in the dark with our thoughts. So the mind is partly right when it concludes the problems it’s generated are unsolvable – at 3 a.m., most problems literally would be.”


insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, melatonin, stress, anxiety A woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva

At this moment, when we’re stressed and feeling vulnerable, stuck in bed with no way out, we can begin to spiral. This is when we ruminate on why we forgot to feed the dog that one day in 1994 or contemplate why things went bad with your first significant other at 21. It’s when we start recalling a disagreement with a friend and plotting out what we’ll say the next time the issue arises.

At this point, if we don’t stop spiraling, we’ll be up until 5 a.m. and will feel like garbage when it’s time to go to work.

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

Make a list

Dr. Jade Wu says that if you wake up and feel stressed about things you need to take care of, walk out of your room (so you don’t associate it with stressors) and make a list to read in the morning. This will free you of your worries, because you know you can care for them when you are awake.

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Pay attention to your breath

Murray says you should redirect your attention from your thoughts to your breath, which is a form of meditation. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation. This works in 2 ways: first, it takes your attention away from your spiraling thoughts and second, the breathing exercise helps you relax.


Have a bite to eat

Sometimes, we wake up in the middle of the night because we’re hungry and our blood sugar is dropping. “The first question I ask [my patients] is, ‘When was the last time you ate?’” Michael Breus, Ph.D. psychologist specializing in sleep disorders, told Sleep.com. “Often, they’ve finished their last meal at 7 p.m.; now it’s 3 in the morning — that’s eight hours later — so guess what? They’re out of fuel.” If you’ve woken up because of a drop in blood sugar, experts recommend eating a small snack that includes protein and fat, like peanut butter.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Trouble sleeping? Meditation expert's 'house-tour hack' could help you get the ZZZs you crave.

"It sounds like it makes no sense."

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Familiarity breeds relaxation, apparently.

Few things are better for your mental and physical well-being than a good night’s sleep. Getting the correct amount of sleep each night is great for your immune system, reduces stress, and lowers your risk for chronic conditions such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. It also makes you feel great and helps you concentrate during the day at work or school.

However, far too many people aren’t getting enough shut-eye to enjoy all these incredible benefits. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 in 3 adults in the United States reported not getting enough rest or sleep daily. Nearly 40% of adults fall asleep accidentally during the day without meaning to, and 50 to 70 million Americans have ongoing sleep disorders.

A technique to help you fall asleep.

There is no right way to fall asleep at night, but if counting sheep hasn’t worked for you since middle school, meditation expert Emily Kessler has an easy-to-do technique to help you get the sleep you need. Kessler, a medication coach in Brooklyn, New York, is “happiest when helping people tap into their truest selves.” She shared the technique, known as the "house-tour hack," in August 2024 on TikTok, and it has had over 2 million views.

@emilymeditates

I repeat: I have never made it to the upstairs 😂 Try this & let me know what happens!! #sleephack #fallasleepfast #fallingasleep

“When you are trying to sleep at night, and you're laying in your bed, what I recommend is taking a few nice, deep breaths calming your body a little bit and then start to visualize a house,” Kessler begins her post. “Not your own house, but a house that you know really well. I use my grandmother's old house.”

“You basically visualize yourself slowly walking up to the house, noticing all the details about the outside, going up to the door, opening the door, walking in, seeing the layout, and then slowly going through each room, noticing things in as much detail as possible. Making your way through every room, seeing the art, the furniture, the layout,” she continues. “There is something about this that distracts your thinking, busy mind enough to let you fall into sleep. I've literally never made it upstairs at her house.”


Visualization can help people fall asleep.

Kessler’s house-tour hack uses a visualization technique known as “visual distraction,” which researchers have scientifically proven to help insomniacs fall asleep faster. Visualizing a calm, serene scene, such as visiting your grandmother's house, effectively prevents intrusive, stressful thoughts from taking hold while you lay in bed at night.

Some commenters shared the visualization techniques they use to fall asleep. "I pick a topic and then try to think of a related word for each letter of the alphabet. Usually only make it to G," Hillary wrote. "A hack that I do is just immediately create a dream and trick my brain into thinking I’ve already fallen asleep. It's no joke; the dream continues, and I fall asleep," Najah added. "I used to 'pray' for all of my family members. I would list every single one down to great aunts and uncles, and I rarely made it all the way through," Samantha wrote.

How to fall asleep using cognitive shuffling.

Another popular technique that we recently highlighted on Upworthy is called "cognitive shuffling." Denver-based board-certified dermatologist Dr. Scott Walter says it has been a game changer for helping him fall asleep. “One is just thinking of random words or objects that have nothing to do with each other,” Walter said. “For example, cow, leaf, sandwich, butter, liver, things like that — just random words that make no sense,” he said on TikTok. He adds that it's successful because it “mimics what are called 'microdreams,' which occur during the transition to sleep, [letting] your brain know, hey, it’s safe to fall asleep.”

Ultimately, it seems that our minds are the greatest barrier to getting a good night’s sleep because, no matter how badly our bodies want to turn off, the mind loves to chatter away when it should be calming down. According to science, and meditation expert Emily Kessler, we can calm our busy brains by conjuring dreamlike images to help us fall into deep, restorative sleep.





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Sorry, two-pillow people, doctor reveals why you have to stick to one

"Two-pillow syndrome" is a real thing.

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A woman sleeping with two pillows.

Everyone has a specific position where they love to fall asleep, and finding it means the difference between a night of blissful slumber and tossing and turning. For some of us, that means stacking two pillows on top of each other and lying down with our heads and neck propped up. No rule says you can’t stack pillows. Whatever’s comfortable is best, right? According to a physical therapist, sleeping on two pillows can cause serious problems.

Dr. Sammy Spiegel, a Missouri-based physical therapist, recently went viral on TikTok for a video where she freaked many people out by telling them not to sleep on a stack of pillows. This was big news because research shows that about half of people sleep with two pillows. The big problem with sleeping on two pillows is that it puts you in the same position as looking down at your phone. Spiegel calls this posture problem “two-pillow syndrome.”

@samspiegs

You won't find "2 Pillow Syndrome" in any texts but I swear it's a thing! #posture #neckhump

“So, if we are here all day and then we lie down with the two pillows, what that does is that lifts the floor up to our head, conforming to our curve that's occurring over time with poor posture instead of letting our neck and spine stretch back into a nice straight position,” she says in the video with over 400,000 views. “I don't wanna sleep in this position. I wanna sleep in the position that I wanna be in, and then I want to reflect in my posture.”

What's a dowager's hump?

Spiegel says that people who sleep with two pillows are at risk of having a dowager hump on their backs. A dowager’s hump is a slightly rounded hunch that forms at the base of the neck. It’s caused by a chronic forward-leaning posture, which is becoming a bigger problem due to computers and smartphones. A dowager’s hump is associated with impaired lung function, reduced functional capacity, and increased mortality.


Many in the comments weren’t happy with the news because they are used to sleeping with multiple pillows. "Oh, good. I don't use two pillows. I use three and a blanket," Elena joked in the comments. "I use three pillows all mashed up weird, and I sleep on my tummy," Linda added.

In the comments, Spiegel added that she prefers people not to use any pillow at all. "I don’t like using pillows and always thought that wasn’t healthy, but I’m not sure. I just like my head on the mattress," Bijou wrote in the comments. "I tend to think the same. I forget who even invented them and why?" Spiegal responded. The good news is that for people who have become accustomed to sleeping with two pillows, Spiegel shares a stretch at the end of the video to strengthen your posture muscles and mobilize your spine.

In an age where we are constantly craning our necks downward to look at our phones or having our heads slightly tilted down to look at a computer screen, posture has become an important topic in the health world. But the funny thing is most people are thinking about their posture in their waking hours instead of the eight hours a night they spend in their beds. Spiegel’s video is an excellent reminder that good posture is a 24-hour-a-day job, and the benefits go far beyond appearance. Good posture is associated with better mood, self-confidence, bone and joint health, and improved breathing. So, if you sleep with two pillows, why not try cutting down to one and see how your life improves in your waking hours?

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People swear by these 13 easy techniques they use to fall asleep fast

Which one will work for you?

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A woman sound asleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, you’re not alone. A study from 2020 found that 14.5% of adults had trouble falling asleep most days. More than a third of Americans report getting less than 7 hours of sleep over 24 hours and 13.5% say they feel exhausted most days.

When you get a bad night’s sleep, you feel terrible the next day, but that’s just half the problem. Sleep deficiency is linked to heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, obesity and depression.

To help people get a better night’s rest, a Redditor named AdOld2060 asked the AskReddit subforum, “What’s your secret to falling asleep quickly?” They received over 100 responses, with people sharing their methods to fall asleep at night.

The responses ranged from a military hack to a detailed visualization that the Redditor claims helps them fall asleep in minutes. The cool thing is that many techniques were varied, so if one doesn’t work for you, the next one could.


How to fall asleep fast

Here are 13 of the best responses to the question: What’s your secret to falling asleep quickly?

1. The military method

1. Relax your entire face, including the muscles inside your mouth.
2. Drop your shoulders to release the tension and let your hands drop to the side of your body.
3. Exhale, relaxing your chest.
4. Relax your legs, thighs, and calves.
5. Clear your mind for 10 seconds by imagining a relaxing scene.
6. If this doesn’t work, try saying the words “don’t think” over and over for 10 seconds.
7. Within 10 seconds, you should fall asleep!

2. ASMR

"I love falling asleep to those asmr live streams on TikTok."

3. Relax your head and shoulders

"Intentionally relaxing my head and shoulders. Get all snuggly in the blankets, release that tension and melt into the pillow. Zzzzzz."

4. Meditation

"I meditate and breathe deeply to relax before sleeping."

"Deep breathing works well for me. Also, weirdly, if I start thinking about something like the logistics of moving 20 people into my house I drift off easily."



5. Melatonin

"Your body creates melatonin on its own. The stuff they sell is just a supplement and gives you a little bump of it before bedtime."

6. Extreme stillness

"I don’t allow myself to move around. Once I lay down I get comfortable and then stop moving. I don’t scratch an itch. I don’t move at all. I just lay there and daydream. If I start moving around, I will never sleep! But if I make myself lay perfectly still I fall asleep."

7. Reading

"I read until I can't remember the sentence I just read...but if the book is too good it is counterproductive."

How to fall asleep quickly

8. A boat visualization

"I have something that I came up with that usually works for me. I get myself comfortable, laying on my back, arms by my sides, close my eyes and imagine I'm in a small boat on a wide expanse of calm ocean with sunshine and clear blue skies. I imagine the boat is rocking gently and the sun is shining down on me. I just lie there for a couple of minutes enjoying the quiet, the warmth and the rocking motion and I usually drift off to sleep quickly. Admittedly I think I have a really good imagination , which helps, but it works for me."



9. Count to 100

"Relax everything, and just count to 100. If I reach 100, then I start going back to 0 and so forth. Very rarely do I make it to 100 and back to 0. I usually fall asleep before I get to 100."

10. Slow breaths

"I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, regardless of the environment, if I choose to. I start taking really long, slow, intentional breaths. Inhale as slow, long, and deep as possible, filling my lungs to max capacity. Exhale the same way. By the third or fourth breath, I’m out."

11. Cognitive shuffle

"I saw it on reddit about 9 months ago and its been working really well for me, its called Cognitive Shuffle. There are multiple ways to do it, but basically, you think of something random and boring like 'dog' or 'car,' then picture it in your mind for a few seconds, then shift to some other random word and picture that. Another way to do it is to pick a word and come up with 5 random words for each letter and try to picture each one before moving to the next. By the 4th or 5th random word you can feel your self switching off and if you keep at out you'll be out soon. I've ALWAYS had trouble turning my brain off when its time to sleep and this method has worked wonders for me."

12. Fantaszie

"I get really involved in detailed non-sexual fantasies, space travel, superhero powers that type of thing. Out like a light."

13. A regular schedule

"Disciplined bedtimes. I found that if I force myself to sleep within a certain point almost every day I will automatically feel tired by that time. 10pm is my sweet spot. I get 9 hrs nearly every day. If I stay up it’s still at least 7 hrs."









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