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How to stop waking up each night at 3 or 4 in the morning

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

A woman with her eye mask on in bed.

Do you often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. with an intense feeling of anxiety? Do you get stressed that you’re awake and begin making a mental laundry list of everything you need to do the next day? Do you start thinking about fights you once had with your spouse or ponder how you have let yourself down in the past?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. regularly and there’s a reason why we choose this time to catastrophize and worry. The good news is that there are some steps we can take to get through that awkward phase of the night so we can wake up refreshed.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every night?

Many of us reliably wake up in the middle of the night because after we’ve had a good chunk of sleep, our bodies start to slowly prepare us for the day by reducing melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep and increasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

That biological phase of sleep is why we start to feel stressed.



insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, how to sleep better, melatonin, stressA woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva


After the big hormone release at 3 or 4 in the morning, if you are dealing with stress in your life, you are more likely to wake up. If your life is calmer and you don’t already have a stress baseline, you will probably wake up, fall asleep quickly and forget that it happened.

Why do I wake up feeling stressed in the middle of the night?

If you’re already experiencing stress in your life, that extra cortisol kick is going to cause you to wake up with a feeling of anxiety. The problem is that when we’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, we are in a vulnerable position. “Around this time in the sleep cycle, we’re at our lowest ebb physically and cognitively. From nature’s viewpoint, this is meant to be a time of physical and emotional recovery, so it’s understandable that our internal resources are low,” Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, writes in The Conversation.

“But we also lack other resources in the middle of the night – social connections, cultural assets, all the coping skills of an adult are unavailable at this time,” Murray continues. “With none of our human skills and capital, we are left alone in the dark with our thoughts. So the mind is partly right when it concludes the problems it’s generated are unsolvable – at 3 a.m., most problems literally would be.”


insomnia, sleep, sleep hacks, melatonin, stress, anxiety A woman struggles with insomniaImage via Canva

At this moment, when we’re stressed and feeling vulnerable, stuck in bed with no way out, we can begin to spiral. This is when we ruminate on why we forgot to feed the dog that one day in 1994 or contemplate why things went bad with your first significant other at 21. It’s when we start recalling a disagreement with a friend and plotting out what we’ll say the next time the issue arises.

At this point, if we don’t stop spiraling, we’ll be up until 5 a.m. and will feel like garbage when it’s time to go to work.

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

Make a list

Dr. Jade Wu says that if you wake up and feel stressed about things you need to take care of, walk out of your room (so you don’t associate it with stressors) and make a list to read in the morning. This will free you of your worries, because you know you can care for them when you are awake.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Pay attention to your breath

Murray says you should redirect your attention from your thoughts to your breath, which is a form of meditation. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation. This works in 2 ways: first, it takes your attention away from your spiraling thoughts and second, the breathing exercise helps you relax.


Have a bite to eat

Sometimes, we wake up in the middle of the night because we’re hungry and our blood sugar is dropping. “The first question I ask [my patients] is, ‘When was the last time you ate?’” Michael Breus, Ph.D. psychologist specializing in sleep disorders, told Sleep.com. “Often, they’ve finished their last meal at 7 p.m.; now it’s 3 in the morning — that’s eight hours later — so guess what? They’re out of fuel.” If you’ve woken up because of a drop in blood sugar, experts recommend eating a small snack that includes protein and fat, like peanut butter.

This article originally appeared last year.

Health

Want to fall asleep faster? People share their favorite hacks for nodding off quickly.

These mental and physical tricks may help you drift into dreamland.

Want to fall asleep faster? Try these tricks.

Sleep is a biological imperative for every human being, so it doesn't seem like it should be a hard thing to do. For some people, however, falling asleep is a challenge, no matter how tired they are.

Experts have some advice for good sleep hygiene that helps lay the foundation for falling asleep, such as keeping a regular sleep schedule, following a consistent before-bed routine, dimming lights, avoiding screens late in the evening, getting sunlight early in the day and basic health habits like exercising, eating well and avoiding smoking.

That's all well and good, but what about when you're actually in bed with the lights off and simply can't fall asleep because your body is buzzing or your mind is racing?


That's where some simple tricks to help yourself drift off to sleep can help. Some tricks are physical and some are mental, so what sounds helpful may depend on what's preventing you from falling asleep. As with most things, different things work for different people, so it's worth experimenting with a few, but here are some hacks people on Reddit swear by to fall asleep quickly.

Listen to boring bedtime stories

"On Spotify there is a podcast called 'Nothing much happens: bedtime stories to help you sleep.' Each episode is around half an hour but the storyteller tells the story twice and the second time she tells it with a slower pace. I am really curious how she tells the story slower but I was never able to make it to the second half. Sometimes I try to focus and promise myself that I will remember the story when I wake up the next morning. However, I can't recall anything. Nothing much happens, so it's extremely boring and my brains shuts down pretty quickly."

"There's also one called 'I Can't Sleep' where the host reads random articles from the internet, mostly Wikipedia pages. His voice is super soothing and I rarely make it past the first 15 minutes or so of an episode."

"'Sleep with Me' podcast by Scooter. Same concept as what everyone else said. But wow! There’s a lot of sleep podcasts!!"

Make up your own bedtime story

"I used to have bad insomnia when I was younger, and the only thing that seemed to work for me was imagining a story. I would set the setting, the premise, the characters, and start coming up with it. Basically, I was kick starting the dreaming process. I'd be asleep within a few minutes."

"This has been my trick for years…I’m not even that creative, I’ve probably restarted the same 3 or 4 narratives hundreds of times, but never get anywhere close to the end."

"I scrolled and scrolled because I knew I'd find something like this. I create crazy ass stuff in my head. Sea levels rise 100 feet and I built a bunker and have to save people I know. Lead singer of a killer band. Qb of a team. I invented a machine that does all your daily grooming as you sleep. Just weird shit. Usually out in a few minutes."

Create an alphabet-based list

"Trying to find 5 names with each letter. I usually fall asleep by K or L."

"I do this with animals: aardvark, antelope, etc. I usually fall asleep by B or C."

"Similarly I pick a category. Countries, cities, street names, etc and run through the alphabet."

"This one is foolproof for me. Never gotten the whole way through the alphabet."

Imagine you're on a boat or in a hammock

"The boat technique. A military buddy told me about it when he was stationed in Mali. Imagine yourself in a small boat, on a stream running through a forest with the canopy above you and the sun shining through, or drifting on a lake under a starry sky. Let yourself drift."

"I figured out the boat one myself as a child, except it was a raft on very gentle waves. And the Scooby Gang were hanging out with me."

"I sometimes picture myself in a hammock in a rainforest, with various animals snuggling around and on top of me. I love animals, so this is meant to relax me and make me feel safe. I use a weighted blanket, so I try to picture different animals draped over my legs to justify the weight of the blanket."

"Picture yourself on a hammock hanging between two palms on a beach at night, focus on the waves and electricity enveloping your body from each palm."

Breathe—but very, very slowly

"Breathing. Slow deliberate breathing. Count the same for in and out. And for every breath out, try and relax your muscles. I just keep doing that. Works most of the time."

"Came to say this. Breathing exercises have changed my life <3 started doing them after losing my dad and depression wouldn’t let me sleep. I read about it, was like uh whatever bullshit, but I tried it, and then… I woke up the next morning?! Been doing them for 7 years now. Even my man is like how the F do you pass out in 10min?! Breathe in……. Breathe out…. Think about nothing but the breaths, feel the oxygen in your blood increasing, think about your veins running alllll up and down your body. How your muscles relax into the bed… the pillow is so soft… breathe in… breathe out."

"My hack is similar as in I take the deepest breath I possibly can, then hold it for as long as I can, then release it as slow as I can. I never needed more than 3 reps of this to fall asleep. The heart rate slows down and the brain quiets down pretty fast with this."

"I breathe super slow to 10 and then force my left arm to relax and not move from now on like I shut it down. Then I do the same with my right arm, then left leg and right left. Then I do the torso and then finally try to shut off my head. I heard Marines use a similar technique to fall asleep."

More specifically, the 4-7-8 breathing technique

"When I really need to sleep, I use the '4-7-8' breathing technique. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Works like a charm most of the time"

"I swear by the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. Works like a charm! 😴"

"I use 4:7:8 breathing : inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds. Count at the speed you are comfortable, my understanding is that it's the ratio that's important, rather than the amount of time. This breathing pattern effects the oxygen levels in your brain in a way that brings you into parasympathetic activation (sometimes called 'rest and digest mode.')"

Tensing and relaxing your muscles (aka "progressive relaxation")

"Progressive relaxation. Tense your toes, breathe in for a 5 count, hold for 5, and then relax as you exhale. Then your calves, then your thighs, your butt, your core, etc."

"Focus on a muscle group. Be it feet, calves, thighs, and just work your way up. Flex your muscles as hard as possible, get that adrenaline going. And after a bit, relax. Slowly work your way up to your head and face. You can feel the waves of calm wash over each section once they relax."

"My dad taught me something similar. While reclined, imagine creating a wave with your body by gently imagining you are putting downward pressure on your sleeping place starting with your head, then shoulders, then back, then legs and then your feet. I sleep on my side so I go head, shoulders, hips, knees then feet."

Hopefully trying some of these tricks will help you find what works to help you fall asleep more easily and quickly. Sweet dreams, everyone!

Counting sleep is a thing of the past.

If you’re having trouble catching those elusive zzz’s, you are not alone. Roughly 1 in 3 adults worldwide have insomnia, which we know can lead to a whole slew of things that negatively impact our health. Which is probably why social media is full of various hacks the promise a better night’s sleep.

Recently Denver-based board-certified dermatologist Dr. Scott Walter made a video touting the efficacy and benefits of “cognitive shuffling,” which he said was an “absolute game changer” for his own sleep schedule.

In the clip, Dr. Walter described cognitive shuffling as “a way to rearrange or reorganize your thoughts similar to shuffling a deck of cards — basically, distracting your mind from conscious thought patterns that may keep you awake.”

The “simple mental exercise” can be done in a number of ways.


“One is just thinking of random words or objects that have nothing to do with each other,” Walter said. “For example, cow, leaf, sandwich, butter, liver, things like that — just random words that make no sense.” Apparently there’s even an app out there called MySleepButton that will feed you random words to form a picture in your mind.

Alternatively, if you “don’t like random,” you could also pick a letter of the alphabet, and start counting your heartbeat. After every eight beats, you’ll think of a word that begins with that letter.

@denverskindoc Stitch w/ @sidneyraz say goodbye to the Sunday Scaries and fall asleep quickly with this doctor approved sleep hack! #sleephack #todayilearned #wishiknew #howtofallasleepfaster #cognitiveshuffling #cognitiveshuffle #sleephelp #doctor #medicine #sleep #sundayscaries #doctorhack #fallingasleep #anxiety ♬ original sound - Dr. Scott Walter | Derm

Walter went on to explain that cognitive shuffling is so effective because in addition to distracting your brain, it ““mimics what are called microdreams, which occur during the transition to sleep, [letting] your brain know, hey, it’s safe to fall asleep.”

Pasha Marlowe, MFT, who also improved her sleep routine with cognitive shuffling, posted her own TikTok claiming that it “interrupts the processes of memory, scheduling and problem solving.

She also explained a slightly different process, saying you could take a word and think of as many words as you can that also begin with the same letters in your chosen word. Her example was the word “PUMPKIN,” and beings listing out “prince, pie, peanut butter, product,” and so on. Then she might go onto the letter “U” and start naming things that start with that letter…you get the idea. Multiple resources recommend following this particular strategy.

Luc Beaudoin, cognitive scientists and creator of MySleepButton, told The Guardian that the hack is superior to the traditional insomnia-busting tactics like counting sleep because the former are so “boring” that virtually any other thought, including worries, will be perceived by the brain as “more compelling.”

But with cognitive shuffling, there’s enough gameplay and “nonsense” involved to distract our hypervigilant cortex from perceiving potential threats just long enough for us to drift off.

Cognitive shuffling isn’t without its limitations. The MySleepButton site says that this method is not effective under the follow conditions:

  • You are too tired to conjure up words, but not drowsy enough to fall asleep. (For example, when you wake up in the middle of the night.)
  • You don’t like to think deliberately when you are trying to fall asleep.
  • You find it difficult to come up with words that start with a given letter, despite practice.
  • You find spelling tedious.

For these instances, the site says you can lay back while MySleepButton does the work for you. Or, you could try a few other proven hacks, found here and here.