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Mom rips into husbands who expect their wives to do housework in crazy viral Facebook post

Can you do the dishes without being asked?

via Constance Hall/Facebook

Constance Hall asks for domestic equality.


It's the 21st century, and as a civilization, we've come a long way. No, there are no flying cars (yet), but we all carry tiny supercomputers in our pockets, can own drones, and can argue with strangers from all around the world as long as they have internet access.

And yet women are still having to ask their partners to help out around the house. What gives?



Recently, Blogger Constance Hall went on a highly-relatable rant about spouses assuming responsibility for housework, and women everywhere are all, "🙌 🙌 🙌 ."


Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing "preach Queen", someone said to me "if you want help you need to be specific... ask for it. People need lists, they aren't mind readers."

So I tried that, asking.. specifics..

"Can you take the bin out?"

"Can you get up with the kids? I'm just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years"

"Can you go to woolies? I've done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond."

And yeah, she was right... shit got done.But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking...?

NOTHING.Again.

And so I've come to the conclusion that it's not your job to ask for help, it's not my job to write fucking lists.

We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.Just do it.Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house.

Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet? Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day? Is one of you carrying the weight?

Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists....All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..It's not up to anyone else to teach you consideration.

That's your job.Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.

Hall's post touches on the concept of emotional labor, which can be defined as "the process of managing feelings and expressions to fulfill the emotional requirements of a job."

In other words, although Hall's partner may be the one carrying out the tasks she assigns him, it is still Hall's job to be the "manager" of the household, and keep track of what things need to get done. And anyone who runs a household knows that juggling and keeping track of chores is just as exhausting as executing them.

At time of publication, Hall's post was shared nearly 100,000 times. That's a lot of frustrated ladies!

When your girl Far Kew sends you the perfect present. You will find this and more cunty cups on her facebook page 👌🏽
Posted by Constance Hall on Thursday, November 30, 2017

Women in the comments section seemed to overwhelmingly agree with Hall's post.

Let's all learn to share the load...laundry and otherwise.


This article originally appeared on 08.27.18

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mothers
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Mom uses fruit analogy to teach her daughter a lesson in self-confidence

With a dragon fruit, a banana and two peppers, she explained why we shouldn't change ourselves based on other people's opinions.

Screenshot via Embassy of the People's Republic of China in the United States/Facebook

A mom explains the difference between opinion and fact using a dragon fruit and a banana.

Every human being is unique, and yet we seem to be hardwired to want to fit in with others. Sometimes, that longing for a sense of belonging can cause us to put too much stock in people's opinions of us and lead us to change who are to please others.

One mom has taken that tendency to task in a viral video in which she uses fruit to teach her daughter a lesson in being herself. In a video shared on Facebook by the Chinese Embassy in the U.S., a Chinese mom and her daughter speak to the camera while using a dragon fruit, a banana, and two different colored peppers as props.

First, they over the difference between a fact and an opinion. "This is a dragon fruit," is a fact. "A dragon fruit is tastier than a banana," is an opinion. Simple enough.

"Similarly, if a kid tells you your drawing is not good or that your hairstyle doesn't look nice, that's just their opinion. It doesn't mean it's a fact," the mom says. "We don't need to feel sad or unhappy because of someone else's opinion."

Next, the mom holds up a green pepper and asks if her daughter likes it. After the girl says no, the mom asks if she'd like if she changed the green pepper to a yellow one. Again, no.

"So we shouldn't change ourselves because of someone else's preferences," the mom says. "Just like you have people you like and don't like."

She finishes by asking her daughter what she'll do in the future if a kid doesn't like her or doesn't want to play with her.

"I will find friends who like me, or friends I like, to play with," the girl replies.

Watch:

It's a simple analogy, but an effective one. Even adults need to be reminded sometimes that people's opinions of us aren't facts and shouldn't be internalized as truths about ourselves.

"This is absolutely beautiful," wrote one commenter. "A perfectly simple way to educate all people, not just children."

"Everyone needs to do this with their child, wrote another. "This is a good parent teaching their child about the real world and social interactions. Someone's opinion is just that. An opinion. No need to get upset, offended or angry about it. Take it as an opinion, the same or different from your own, and move on."

"Agreed—and when you work on yourself it shouldn’t be for other people's acceptance, but for yourself," shared another.

Sometimes the simplest lessons are the ones we need to hear, whether we're 9 or 49.

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parenting
Family

How breastfeeding actually works is seriously awe-inspiring

Let's take a moment to marvel at this miraculous process.

Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash

A viral video shows what's happening beneath the surface when a baby breastfeeds.

Let me start by saying I don't care whether you breastfeed or not. Everyone's circumstances are different, no one needs to explain why they did or didn't breastfeed their babies and we'd all be better off with far fewer judgments across the baby-feeding spectrum.

With that disclaimer out of the way, can we at least all agree that breastfeeding is freaking awesome?

I mean, the whole biological process of growing an entire human practically from scratch is mind-blowing all by itself. But the fact that our bodies then create food to feed that human, with a whole system for how and when that food gets made and released, is just so cool.

A CGI video depicting the process in a simple, clear way has people marveling at how it all works. The video gives an internal view of what's happening below the skin's surface as a baby latches on. (The depiction of the latch isn't great, FYI—a proper latch is an important part of breastfeeding working as it should, but what comes after is the cool part.)

We could get into some nitty gritty anatomical terms here, but the high-level explanation of what's happening is that when a baby suckles, a signal is sent to the mother's brain. That signal prompts the release of the hormones prolactin (which stimulates milk production in the alveoli—the grape-like clusters in the video) and oxytocin (which stimulates the muscles around the alveoli to push the milk into the milk ducts—the white tubes).

It's a basic but beautiful biological process, the way the baby, brain and breast communicate and coordinate to make and deliver milk on demand.

Watch:

But that's just the mechanics. There's so much about breastfeeding that's scientific but feels like magic.

For instance, the flavor of breastmilk changes depending on what the person breastfeeding eats, which means baby gets to experience a range of taste sensations starting very early. That may not seem particularly consequential, but studies have found that children who breastfeed tend to be less picky and more willing to try different foods later on.

It can also change color, ranging from blue to green to yellow to pink. Neat, huh?

Breastmilk also changes to meet a child's nutritional needs as they get older. If you watch the last eight seconds or so of the video, you can see the flow of milk stop and then see a reverse flow coming from the baby's mouth. That's the baby's saliva, which contains chemicals that react with the mother's body to adjust the makeup of the breastmilk to meet the baby's needs at any given stage. So cool.

That same saliva exchange can also prompt the mother's body to add germ-fighting elements (leucocytes, antibodies, etc.) to her breastmilk that help fight infections. Such immune boosting can happen when either baby or mom are sick, providing an immune boost for baby.

We may not think of it this way, but breastmilk is actually a living substance containing live cells. And there's still so much we're learning about what it can do, not just for babies but for non-nutritional medicinal purposes as well.

So often, the wonder of it all gets lost in the debates and judgments that surround breastfeeding. Not everyone can breastfeed and there are a million challenges that can get in the way of it feeling like a magical experience, even for those who do it. But that doesn't change the fact that breastfeeding is a miraculous process when it works.

Let's just take a minute to appreciate the incredible way breasts can manufacture and deliver baby food, always at the perfect temperature, through a process that continually individualizes that food to make it ideal at every stage. Our bodies are simply amazing.

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breastfeeding
Family

Mom pulls over and delivers her own baby as her kids wait in the car

Photo by Jimmy Conover on Unsplash

Mom with newborn baby on her chest

Giving birth can be serene and magical, filled with swear words, death stares and some serious contemplation on why you thought having a baby would be a good idea. Preparing for birth is often meticulous; everything is planned out months in advance, bags are packed by the door and your favorite doctor or midwife is on speed dial. You worked hard to get things in place and everything should run as smoothly as a well oiled machine. But for one mom in Kentucky, that birth plan went out of the window.

Heather Skaats, 34, is no stranger to having babies and likely can tell a doctor a thing or two about how her deliveries are going to go after after six children. Heather was three weeks away from her due date for her seventh child when she started having light contractions. When in labor with her older children, the mom labored for hours so she was not terribly concerned when she started experiencing mild labor pains. Skaats told Today Parents, “I thought I wouldn’t have a baby in my arms until eight or ten hours later.”

Due to her history with her other labors lasting so long and her contractions being light, Heather decided to run some errands before it was time to call the midwife. The plan was for the seasoned mom to have a water birth at home, but baby had other ideas. While Skaats was driving her contractions intensified and she had to pull over. Now is a good time to note that all five of her other children were in the car, ages ranging from 2-13. Skaats’ other child, Leilah died of cancer in 2016 at the age of 4.

After pulling over and reassuring her kids that everything was OK, the mom got out of the car and squatted down when she felt her water break. Skaats said, “I put my hand down there and his head started coming out with his body,” she said. “I didn’t even have to push. It was so quick. I was on the phone with my husband, Nick, and 20 seconds later, I was like, ‘He’s here!’”

Heather was able to catch her son, who started crying right away. But the birth story doesn’t end there. Mom and baby had to make it back to the house with five other shell shocked but excited kids. She was able to wrap the baby in a blanket and drive the family back to the house while she held him close to her chest. Once Skaats made it home she delivered her placenta in the shower with the help of her 13-year-old daughter, Kaelynn. The midwife arrived shortly after.

As for how she remained calm throughout the whole unexpected ordeal, Heather said, “I think having home births in the past sort of taught me to trust my body. Knowing the process really helped.”

Currently the newest member of the Skaats clan doesn’t have a name but the parents are considering the names of the cross streets where he made his grand appearance, Wolf and Porter. No matter what name they choose, there’s no doubt the story behind his birth will be the talk of the town.

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