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Study finds behaviors at age 6 may significantly impact who you are at 25

Certain social skills in kindergarten pay off in adulthood.

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Photo credit: Canva

What can we predict about adults based on what they were like as kids?

As human beings, we grow and change throughout our lifetimes to varying degrees, but the changes from childhood through adolescence are often the most dramatic. But does that mean that who we are as young kids is irrelevant to who we are as adults? A 20-year study sought to explore that question with some fascinating results.

The study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the research, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding others' feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

children, kindergarten, first grade, social skills, social-emotional learning Sharing and cooperation are valuable skills at all ages.Photo credit: Canva

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they kept stored away in a file somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical work to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here are 3 crucial findings they uncovered.

1. Grades and test scores matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test. In other words, the raw grade can't measure a kid's determination, motivation, clever problem-solving skills, and ability to cooperate.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to spend a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

children, kindergarten, first grade, social skills, social-emotional learning Photo credit: Canva

2. Skills such as sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives. What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25. The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

children, kindergarten, first grade, social skills, social-emotional learning Social skills can be taught and learned. Photo credit: Canva

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors, like sharing and cooperating, "malleable" or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

children, kindergarten, first grade, social skills, social-emotional learning Learning to get along with others is a lifelong journey.Photo credit: Canva

This study has some limitations, which its researchers readily admit. While they did their best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on subjective measures like whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

For example, another study released in 2022 showed that kids with poor sleep quality and "excessive daytime sleepiness" (Hey, I think I might have that!) demonstrated worse prosocial behavior. So what goes on at home clearly has a big impact that's tough for teachers and researchers to measure in the classroom. Another study published in 2025 found "modest associations" between school readiness skills, which included language, academic, executive functioning, and social-emotional skills, to adult attainment and occupational status.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside. That could look like taking time to help children label their emotions, encouraging cooperative work (the dreaded group project may be beneficial after all), or prioritizing teaching study skills and problem-solving and not just the material at hand.

Of course, teachers are already up to their eyeballs in rigid curriculum standards and often don't have the time or independence to go off script, which is a problem in and of itself. But ignoring social skills in our curricula could have significant ramifications for our kids down the road.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Family

A man discovered a letter his wife hid from him for 56 years. It held a life-changing secret.

"Tony, please don't be angry or surprised to hear this..."

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via SHVETS production/Pexels and Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels
Tony Trapani discovers a letter his wife hid from him since 1959.

Writing a letter is truly a lost art form, and many young people will never know the joy of it. You had to choose your words carefully and say everything you wanted to say. Once you sent it off, there was no way to be sure it was delivered. No way to know if it had been opened or read. You couldn't take it back or send it again. You just put it in the mailbox and hoped for the best. It was excruciating and magical all at the same time.

One story of a letter never delivered has captured the hearts of readers everywhere. A heart-warming local news story gone viral for the best reasons.

Tony Trapani and his wife were married for 50 years despite the heartache of being unable to have children. "She wanted children,” Trapani told Fox 17. "She couldn't have any. She tried and tried." Even though they endured the pain of infertility, Tony's love for his wife never wavered and he cherished every moment they spent together.

letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parenting Tony Trapani received the most important letter of his life, but he didn't see it for 50 years Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

After his wife passed away when Tony was 81 years old, he undertook the heartbreaking task of sorting out all of her belongings. In particular was a mountain of papers stuffed into filing cabinets. Trapani diligently went through every single one.

That’s when he stumbled upon a carefully concealed letter in a filing cabinet hidden for over half a century.

The letter was addressed to Tony and dated March 1959, but this was the first time he had seen it. His wife must have opened it, read it and hid it from him. The letter came from Shirley Childress, a woman Tony had once been close with before his marriage. She reached out, reminiscing about their past and revealing a secret that would change Tony's world forever.

"Dear Tony, I bet you are surprised to hear from me after so many years. I was just thinking about you tonight like so many other nights. But I thought I would write you and find out how you are," the letter reads. "Tony, please don't be angry or surprised to hear this. I have a little boy. He is five-years- old now - grey eyes and beautiful black hair. What I am trying to say Tony is he is your son."



"Please, Tony if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please come and see him," Shirley wrote in the letter. "Every day he asks me where is his daddy and believe me Tony I can't even answer him anymore. I would be forever grateful to you if you would just see him. ... I'll close now hoping and praying you will answer. P.S. His name is Samuel Duane."

Now, Tony faced the fact that he had a son that would be around 60 years old and he set out to find him.

For over a year, Trapani’s sister tried to track down the mysterious Samuel Duane Childress, until she finally contacted his wife, Donna.

Tony and Samuel met in January 2015 and he felt like a new dad. After meeting his father, Samuel said his mother told him she sent the letter, but Tony never responded. "Why my wife didn't tell me," said Trapani, "I don't know. She wanted children. She couldn't have any. She tried and tried."

It's easy to understand why it may have been hard for Trapani's late wife, Dolly, to pass along that sort of news. Though we'll never know what exactly must have been in her heart and mind when she hid the letter all those years ago.

"I always asked my mom, I said, 'Well what does he look like?'' Samuel said. "She said, 'Well, go look in the mirror."

The two met and caught up on a lifetime of memories with the understanding that they could never change the past. "Just to know him now is so important to me. It's going to fill that void," Samuel said.

But just to be sure, Tony took a paternity test to ensure they were father and son. Stunning everyone involved, the test came back negative. Tony was not the father.


letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parenting Tony and Samuel didn't waste time thinking about what might have been if he'd seen the letter earlier. Photo by Ire Photocreative on Unsplash

The news upset Tony and Samuel, but they still had a unique bond. They shared a relationship with Samuel’s mother and both have been on an incredibly wild ride after Tony found the mysterious letter.

“They're keeping that bond,” Donna said. “That paper doesn't mean anything to him. That bond has been made—and we're going to move on from here.”

Tony Trapani passed away in 2017, leaving him just two short years to connect with the man he once believed to be his son. If he'd seen the letter earlier, maybe they would have had more time. But that's all in the past, and by all accounts the men treasured the time they got together, and the relationship that they did have — not the one they wished for.

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

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A dad's hilarious 'time-travel' letter to school demands explanation for bizarre field trip

The dad was confused as to why the school suddenly started acting like it was 1968.

sexism, dads, daughters, parenting, school, sexism, time travel, family, women, girls
Images via Twitter

Dad writes brilliantly-sarcastic letter to school in protest of antiquated field trip idea.

It's not uncommon for parents to have differences of opinion about the way their kids' school chooses to do things. But sometimes the baffling decisions schools and teachers make can leave us rubbing our eyes and unsure if we're losing our minds.

In 2017, Stephen Callaghan's daughter Ruby came home from school. When he asked her how her day was, her answer made him raise an eyebrow. Ruby, who was in the sixth grade at her school in Australia, told her dad that the boys would soon be taken on a field trip to Bunnings (a hardware chain in the area) to learn about construction.

The girls, on the other hand? While the boys were out learning, they would be sent to the library to have their hair and makeup done. Ruby's reply made Callaghan do a double take. What year was it, again? The days of boys taking shop while the girls take home economics are supposed to be long gone.


sexism, dads, daughters, parenting, school, sexism, time travel, family, women, girls mad little girl GIF Giphy

Callaghan decided to write a letter to the school sharing his disappointment — but his wasn't your typical "outraged parent" letter.

"Dear Principal," he began. "I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter is a Year 6 student."

"When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017," Callaghan continued. "But when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968."

The letter goes on to suggest that perhaps the school is harboring secret time-travel technology or perhaps has fallen victim to a rift in the "space-time continuum," keeping his daughter in an era where women were relegated to domestic life by default.

"I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines," he concluded.

Dear Principal
I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter Ruby is a Year 6 student.
When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017 but when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968.
I know this to be the case as Ruby informed me that the "girls" in Year 6 would be attending the school library to get their hair and make-up done on Monday afternoon while the "boys" are going to Bunnings.
Are you able to search the school buildings for a rip in the space-time continuum? Perhaps there is a faulty Flux Capacitor hidden away in the girls toilet block.
I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines.
Yours respectfully
Stephen Callaghan

parents, dads, sexism, daughters, Australia, time travel Stephen Callaghan and his letter Images via Twitter

When Callaghan posted the letter to Twitter (since deleted), it quickly went viral and inspired hundreds of supportive responses.

Though most people who saw his response to the school's egregiously outdated activities applauded him, not everyone was on board.

One commenter wrote, "Sometimes it is just ok for girls to do girl things."

But Callaghan was ready for that. "Never said it wasn't," he replied. "But you've missed the point. Why 'girl things' or 'boy things'... Why not just 'things anyone can do?'"

Though he's exaggerated the point, the point still stands. In the 1970s, girls were known to be expelled or even arrested for wearing uniform pants instead of their assigned uniform skirts. They also often had no option to participate in metal or wood shop and were compelled to take home economics. And, of course, many of the top universities at the time would not even consider women applicants.

Callaghan later commented that he didn't think the school's plan was as malicious as all that, but noted the incident was a powerful example of "everyday sexism" at work.

Callaghan says the school hasn't responded to his letter. (Yes, he really sent it.) At least, not directly to him.

Some media outlets have reported that the school claims students are free to opt in and out of the different activities. But, as Callaghan says, gendering activities like this in the first place sends the completely wrong message. It's not much different than telling kids that pink is for girls and dinosaurs are for boys. It ends up limiting everyone.

In response to the outpouring of support, Callaghan again took to Twitter.

"At 12 years of age my daughter is starting to notice there are plenty of people prepared to tell her what she can and can't do based solely on the fact she is female," he wrote. "She would like this to change. So would I."

This article originally appeared eight years ago. It has been updated.

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Neil deGrasse Tyson explains why time accelerates as we get older and how to slow it down

Can we trick our minds into slowing down time?

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via Karl Withakay/Wikimedia Commons and Canva/Photos

A clock and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

When you’re a kid, time passes a lot more slowly than when you’re an adult. At the age of seven, summer seems to go on forever, and the wait from New Year’s Day to Christmas feels like a decade. As an adult, time seems to go faster and faster until one weekend you’re putting up your Christmas lights though you swear you just took ‘em down a month ago.

Why does time seem to speed up as we get older? Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson recently explained the phenomenon in a video posted to Instagram. He also offered tips on how to slow the passage of time as you age. DeGrasse Tyson is one of the most popular science communicators in the world and the host of 2014's Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey and 2020’s Cosmos: Possible Worlds.

Why does time appear to speed up as we get older?


“When you're young, everything is new. Your brain is constantly recording fresh memories, and the more memory your brain stores, the longer the experience feels. But then something changes. As you get older, routines take over. Your brain stops saving so much detail. It switches to autopilot because everything feels familiar and predictable,” deGrasse Tyson explains. “And when your brain stores fewer new memories, your perception of time compresses. That's why childhood feels long, and adulthood feels like a blur.”


Steve Taylor, PhD, author of many best-selling books including Time Expansion Experience, The Leap, and Spiritual ScienceThe Leap, and Spiritual Science, agrees with deGrasse Tyson.

“This is mainly because, as children, we have so many new experiences, and so process a massive amount of perceptual information,” Taylor writes at Psychology Today. “Children also have an unfiltered and intense perception of the world, which makes their surroundings appear more vivid. However, as we get older, we have progressively fewer new experiences. Equally importantly, our perception of the world becomes more automatic. We grow progressively desensitized to our surroundings. As a result, we gradually absorb less information, which means time passes more quickly. Time is less stretched with information.”

How do we make time slow down?

There’s something a little depressing about the idea that time speeds up as we age because we have fallen into predictable routines. The good news is that we can break this cycle by changing our habits and having new experiences. The more novel information we can process and the less routine our lives become, the slower time will move.

DeGrasse Tyson believes that with some change in our behaviors, we can get back to longer summers and Christmases that aren’t perpetually around the corner.

“You can actually slow time down again. Do something unfamiliar,” deGrasse Tysons says. "Travel somewhere new. Break a routine you've repeated for years. Learn a skill your brain hasn't mapped yet. Because the more new memories your brain forms, the slower time feels as it passes. So if life feels like it's accelerating, it's not your age. It's your brain, and you can reboot it.”

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People share how this iconic, 5-year-old SNL Christmas sketch 'changed' their holidays forever

"I got a robe."

snl, christmas, holidays, satire, comedy, kristen wiig, saturday night live, humor, youtube, christmas presents, moms
SNL/YouTube

Classic SNL Christmas sketch has people rethinking the holiday dynamics in their family.

Five years ago, one of the most iconic Christmas sketches ever aired on Saturday Night Live. It's called simply, "Christmas Robe," and it depicts an average American family excitedly waking up on Christmas morning, running to the tree, and opening their presents. In song form, each member of the family takes turns rapping about their own gift haul: A hat, a drone, a pinball machine...

Except for poor mom, played perfectly by Kristen Wiig, who only got a robe—that was 40% off. Things only get worse for Mom as she discovers that her stocking is also empty and she must now go make the family breakfast while everyone plays with their new gifts.

If you haven't seen it, here it is. It's well worth watching in its entirety:


- YouTube www.youtube.com

The sketch got a lot of laughs and resonated deeply with people—especially moms—who watched it.

It's no big secret that moms are the primary makers of Christmas magic in most Western families. While they get joy out of making the holidays special for their families, it's a lot of exhausting work, made worse when it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. It's implied, of course, that Kristen Wiig's character bought everyone their presents while no one in the family bothered to think of her at all.

Jessica Cushman Johnston writes for Motherly: "[Making Christmas magic] is not something my husband or my kids put on me, it’s my own deal. It’s also a tinsel-covered baton handed down from generation to generation of women. As a kid, I just thought the warm fuzzy feelings I felt on Christmas morning 'happened.' Now I know that the magic happens because someone is working hard, and now that someone is me."

Kristin Wiig's character beautifully says it all with the dead-inside expression as she feigns excitement over her lonely robe. In just two and a half minutes, the cast and writers managed to capture a frustrating feeling that millions of women relate to.

The sketch spawned discussions, think pieces, and even parodies when it aired in 2020. Real moms took to social media to "show off" their own robes in an act of solidarity. The sketch had, one could say, a moment. And then, quietly, it retired and took its place in the SNL holiday hall of fame, destined to be re-watched for years to come.

And then something funny happened. People kept tuning in. The skit continued to reach new viewers, and somewhere along the line, a few people actually learned something from the extremely silly sketch.

Saturday Night Live's YouTube and social media are full of comments from viewers who say the sketch opened their eyes in a very real way. And even better, that they're changing their behavior because of it:

"As a retail worker, I actually heard multiple people reference this sketch while buying presents for their wife/mom this year. Thanks SNL!"

"This skit changed Christmas in our house. The year it aired my husband made sure I didn’t get a robe and since this aired (okay, two Christmases have gone by) it’s a joy to see boxes under the tree and a full stocking- now in our house when I’m forgotten my husband says, “you got a robe” and adjusts the situation. Never thought a skit could change my life."

"I just saw this first time. I'm definitely going to buy better present next Christmas to my mom."

"A few years ago, I got a robe. This year, I got a new iPad plus all the accessories. SNL doing all the moms a solid."

"As a grown man, this skit is the first time I've realized how true this is. And now I feel so damn awful :( Gonna bombard moms with the presents this year"

"Seriously! I got a bunch more stuff for my mom after seeing this! It's so accurate. No more robes for mom!"

"I was laughing at this, then realized my mom's stocking was empty and ran out and bought her a truckload of stuff. Love you Mom!"

"Thanks, SNL. After watching this with the family, I had the most bountiful Christmas ever!! And the gifts were wrapped instead of left in the bags the came in."

"This video did more to stimulate spending on Moms this year than almost anything else, guaranteed. Look at SNL actually making a difference with their humor"

The comments go on and on, with the video now reaching over 12 million views. Some moms changed their behavior, too, after seeing the sketch:

"This is spot on, and exactly why I now buy myself Christmas presents, without feeling guilty about it."

The trouble of moms unfairly shouldering too much labor around the holidays (and, well, most other times of the year) is not a new problem. Not by a long shot. So why has this skit reached people when other forms of messaging has failed to sway them?

Marie Nicola, a pop culture historian and cultural analyst, says that no amount of deeply serious essays or shrugged off "mom is complaining again" can fix what satire easily addresses. That's the power of comedy at its best:

"It allows the audience see what was historically unseen or ignored, and it validates the labour as visible and concrete, without being accusatory because it wraps the whole thing up in camp comedy and exaggeration. The skit makes it safe to laugh. This is what psychologists call benign violation," she says. "SNL is showing viewers that something is wrong but they have made it safe enough that people can laugh at it instead of feeling attacked. Once the defenses drop, then recognition can flow through that opening."

The Humor Research Lab writes that humor occurs when an accepted "norm" is violated in a benign way—that's the benign violation Nicola's referring to. "Jokes ... fail to be funny when either they are too tame or too risqué."

The best pieces of satire—the ones that reach the highest levels of cultural relevance—thread that needle perfectly. The norm, in this case, according to Nicola, is that it is "a privilege to curate the perfect holiday experience for the family, the gift is the joy in the moment and their memories for years to come." We're not allowed to talk about the dejection and exhaustion that come from all that hard work. This sketch gave a lot of people permission for the first time to do so.

It’s not the first time that SNL’s comedy and satire have had a palpable effect on how we view the world.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Once SNL performed the "More Cowbell" sketch, none of us could look at the bizarrely overproduced "Don't Fear the Reaper" the same way again. An old Eddie Murphy sketch got a lot of laughs out of the idea of "white privilege" long before it became a commonly known concept. And people had a hard time taking Sarah Palin seriously after Tina Fey's spot-on yet over-the-top impersonation, with studies later investigating the "Tina Fey Effect's" impact on the election.

And now, the more than 12 million people who have seen "Christmas Robe" are going to have a hard time looking at Mom’s empty stocking without being reminded of Kristen Wiig’s pitch-perfect performance.

Of course, "Christmas Robe" continues to land and connect with viewers today in part because it has not solved the problem of household inequities. The phenomenon continues to exist in spades. But the fact that it’s made even a small dent is pretty remarkable for a two-and-a-half-minute parody rap song.

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Mom says she won’t be volunteering for her child’s holiday school events, prompting heated debate

Her TikTok ignited a heated debate about who is responsible for creating holiday magic.

christmas, christmas drive, christmas school activity, christmas party, school, parenting, holiday magic
Photo credit: Canva

Three kids with festive hats in a classroom and a stressed mom with hands on head.

The school calendar is chock-full of activities that both parents and teachers have to rally for, but December is particularly teeming with holiday-themed events.

Between the labor-intensive donation drives, the parties requiring a bajillion different snacks and decorations, and the festive field trips that need several chaperones…conjuring up holiday magic is exhausting work for everyone involved—except maybe the kids.

For one mom on TikTok, the growing list finally felt like too much—and her stance sparked a heated debate about who’s really responsible for creating Christmas cheer.

In a video that quickly went viral, the creator known as @heyempoweredmama shared that she plans to decline every holiday request from her child’s school this year. No donations, no volunteering, no party planning, no field trips. Her message was clear: she’d reached her limit and made a firm decision to step back.

In her view, families that have the capacity will fill the gaps and classrooms will continue to run—and parents who bow out shouldn’t feel that they’re letting their children or their schools down.

This sentiment immediately prompted teachers to speak their piece about how this logic often forces already overworked educators to shoulder the burden, because, in truth, many parents opt out of showing support.

@heyempoweredmama This is one way im reducing the mental load as a mom of 4 navigating high functioning anxiety. Maybe this will help you too!
♬ original sound - heyempoweredmama


“Don’t worry, teachers like me are accustomed to picking up the slack and working even more (unpaid) when we don’t get enough parental support because WE don’t want to let our kids in our classroom down. 👍🏻”

“Please don’t make assumptions about the other parents who are picking up the slack. I teach. My husband teaches. We have two kids in two different schools. We are spread thin. But we still prioritize showing up for our kids, their teachers, and our school communities. I don’t always WANT to step in and volunteer, but I do, so that my children & their teachers are supported. It’s the same group of us, to- who participate, show up and do what we can to fill the holes left by so many families. You know nothing about what all were juggling and whether we WANT to step in and pick up the slack. You do you. But don’t make it sound like the list for volunteers is neverending. That's a lie you’re telling ourself in an effort to feel better about your choices.”

Self described “room parents” seemed to share a similar opinion.

“I am the room parent for my son’s class…other parents don’t step up, period. Everyone has the mindset that someone else will do it.”

The original poster responded to these reactions with understanding and reiterated that she’s doing her best within her own home. She acknowledged the strain on teachers while standing by her decision.

Still, some parents could empathize with where she was coming from.

“Honestly, I completely understand. This is one of the reasons I don’t LOOOVE the holidays the way others do. It’s like two months of chores. School parties, teacher gifts, cookie swaps, food drives, Christmas concerts, etc., etc. On top of everything else that has to be done this time. It’s a LOT. I have also had to set some boundaries in this department. I will participate and volunteer some other time of year. Christmas? The busiest time of the year? Count me out.”

Many also had constructive ideas for how things could be made more manageable, such as taking on just one volunteering activity, volunteering only for events their child is actually involved in (like a performance), or making a monetary donation instead.

christmas, christmas drive, christmas school activity, christmas party, school, parenting, holiday magic media4.giphy.com

As the conversation grew, @heyempoweredmama released a series of follow-up videos in which she clarified that, at her child’s school at least, there was no real shortage of active parent volunteers. She also argued that the real problem is the school system itself, which requires everyone—parents and teachers alike—to do “too much.”

@heyempoweredmama Replying to @its.alli ♬ original sound - heyempoweredmama

What this viral moment reveals isn’t a battle between parents and teachers, but their shared burden. Parents feel buried by the growing demands of schools. Teachers feel equally swamped by a system that’s failing them. Both groups want students to experience joy during the holidays. Both wish the load felt lighter. Both are overwhelmed.

No matter where you stand on this particular debate, most of us can agree on this: no one can carry the season alone. As long as the system relies on people who are already stretched thin, conversations like this will keep resurfacing every holiday season.

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