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Pop Culture

These dramatic readings of negative Yelp reviews are never not funny

The performances deserve five stars.

yelp reviews

Give these ladies an Oscar already.

Online reviews live in a paradoxical world of their own. Their credibility is questionable at best—with positive reviews being either incentivized (if not downright fake) and negative ones being, let’s face it, kind of bonkers. And yet, despite their blatant flaws, a large number of people still use them to influence their purchases.

One thing can be said of negative reviews however: They can be endlessly entertaining.

You might remember seeing actors “performing” impassioned, dramatic (and therefore hilarious) readings of one-star Yelp reviews a few years ago. These videos by "Gotta Kid to Feed" went viral back in 2015, and have recently been resurfacing once again. Why? Because they’re never not funny.


Take this one-star review of Dunkin' Donuts read by actress Therese Plummer, for example. Plummer is a seasoned voiceover actress and lends her talents well in this parody to poke fun at just how intense—and maybe borderline psychotic—some reviews can be.

Unlike the scathing review of Dunkin' Donuts, comments that flooded this video were overwhelmingly positive.

“I never found a 1 star yelp review so riveting!! “ one person wrote.

Another added, “Jesus, there is serious anger in her eyes, this woman is amazing.”

Here’s another one for O’Learys Restaurant in Saint Louis, Missouri, performed by actor Joe Plummer (oddly enough, I don’t think the two Plummer actors are related).

Joe’s character graciously gave a three-star review for the restaurant, since the food was “fresh.” It was the stabbing he didn’t care for.

Yes, he would “consider” coming back despite the stabbing. It’s like Nicole Kidman says at the beginning of every movie at AMC now, “heartbreak feels good in a place like this.” O’Leary’s was just that good.

Here’s another gem of a bad review, this time for San Francisco’s Presidio Cafe. Recognize that face? It’s actress Alysia Reiner from “Orange Is the New Black,” “Blue Bloods” and “Ms. Marvel.”

Apparently Reiner’s character “enjoyed their lunch” at the cafe, but disaster struck after a wayward bird attacked her on her way to the parking lot. Clearly the cafe’s fault.

“The management shirked their duties by not helping me more,” Reiner laments woefully. You can almost catch a single, dignified tear in her eye. She will NOT be dining there. Any. More.

“I know how she feels one time I stepped in a puddle and the nearest store refused to buy me new shoes,” one person joked.

“I guess there's a good reason Hitchcock's ‘The Birds’ takes place in San Francisco,” quipped another.

Further proof that this art form will never go out of style, but merely evolve for modern times: a five-part TikTok series in which Britt, a woman who goes by the username @the.localhedgewitch, brilliantly recreates a negative review from 10 years ago for Bath & Body Works has been going viral online.

@the.localhedgewitch I knew that one day this would somehow come in handy #bathandbodyworks ♬ original sound - Britt

Rather than performing a dramatic reading, Britt recites the review alongside the original video while perfectly capturing every single tiny gesture and mannerism. Seriously, her method should be taught in acting classes.

OK, so maybe online reviews aren’t exactly trustworthy. But at least we can have a good laugh at humanity because of them.

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


Health

Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

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A recently-deceased mom became a celebrity after her kids' published stunningly clever obituary

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The Hamilton Spectator

RIP Sybil Marie Hicks

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Sybil Marie Hicks, from Baysville, Ontario, died on February 2, at the age of 81, but it'll be a long time before her name is forgotten. Her children have turned her into a posthumous celebrity after writing a hilarious first-person obituary for her that was published in The Hamilton Spectator on February 5, 2019.

According to her daughter, it was fitting tribute.

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Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.

Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

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On his competition show "Hell's Kitchen," he belittles cooks who can't keep up. If people come to him with their problems, he berates them. If someone is struggling to get something right in the kitchen, he curses them out.

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I told a kid a riddle my dad told me when I was 7. His answer proves how far we've come.

This classic riddle takes on new meaning as our world changes for the better.




When I was 7, my dad told me a riddle.

"A man and his son are driving in their car when they are hit by a tractor-trailer.

Photo via iStock.

(We were driving at the time, so of course this was the riddle he decided to tell.)

The father dies instantly.

The son is badly injured. Paramedics rush him to the hospital.

Photo via iStock.

As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look the boy and says:

'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'

How is that possible?!"

Without missing a beat, I answered:

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