Granny Lyft driver's super-specific, unintentionally funny list of rules is delightful
Like you wouldn't also be upset if someone taught your parrot to swear?

Grandma is watching you in the backseat. Mind your manners.
The rideshare experience involves a leap of faith for both the passenger and the driver. The passenger trusts the driver to get them to their destination safely and comfortably. The driver trusts the passenger to be a decent human who wonβt harm them or eat tuna fish in their car. (Rideshare drivers use their own vehicles, after all).
A grandmother who drives for Lyft has taken matters into her own hands and posted a list in her car that spells out what she will and wonβt allow. Similar to a Taxi Passengerβs Bill of Rights, this is her own personal bill of rights.
A photo of her list went viral after user u/joyisnotdead posted it to Reddit. Commenters love the list for its sass while also debating its merits. The vast majority fiercely defend it. βMost of [this] is really just basic etiquette,β writes shannibearstar.
The list in question, which relies heavily on all caps and a healthy sprinkling of emojis, begins with a plea.
βFirst and foremost, my grands and greats ride in this vehicle! Be considerate of that! I have family and Iβm raising a great that needs me! Be sure I get home safe to her! And my family! I donβt carry money or real jewels! If you carjack me < wreck it good! I want a new one!β
It's pretty understandable and relatable so far. She has responsibilities!
Granny's rules for the Lyft
byu/joyisnotdead infunny
Things begin to go lovably off the rails in the second rule.
βDo not touch or cuss around my parrot! I will put you out! I donβt teach your kids and I donβt teach your kids to cuss, donβt teach mine!β
Whoa whoa whoa, a parrot?
While itβs possible she is referring to her βgrandsβ or βgreatsβ as parrots since kids love to repeat what they hear, many commenters are taking her at her word. βWhy does she have a parrot in an Uber? That does not seem like a good environment for a bird. Nor does it seem like a good environment for the passengers who want to go places and didn't order a bird sanctuary on wheelsβ writes Vendeta44.
Apparently, should you drive for Uber and want to bring your bird on board, it is allowed. According to Uberβs βFeedback about the driver or vehicleβ section: βSince all drivers who use the Uber app are independent contractors, they are allowed to travel with a pet or service animal in their vehicle.β
Her next rule is pretty straightforward and colorful. βNo smoking, vaping, smoking pot or snorting/smoking dope!> This isnβt your hookah room! Or trap house!β
Trap house? According to Dictionary.com, itβs βa place where illegal drugs are soldβ and according to Urban Dictionary it was βoriginally used to describe a crack house in a shady neighborhood.β Interestingly, the βtrapβ in trap music takes the same root.
Okay, fine, no teaching her parrot any bad words, no vaping, but what if you just want to spend the time headed to your destination putting the finishing touches on your lewk? If youβre of a certain age you may remember an ad that appeared heavily in womenβs magazines in the 1980s for a cordless butane-powered curling iron. In it, a woman was stepping out of a car, curling iron in hand, having just styled her magnificent coif on the go.
Grandma would NOT be okay with this.
βNo spraying perfume, doing your hair and makeup. (I donβt want your hair all over the place and other customers donβt want to get into your hair all over them). Spraying hair spray or cologne> This isnβt your bathroom!β To be fair, perfume and cologne have immense staying power.
The next rule is one that you wish didnβt need to be said but according to the comments, does need to be said: βNo sex or making out. This isnβt your hooker room/hotel room.β
Fair.
The last rule concerns a common activity that vexes rideshare drivers everywhere: Eating and drinking.
βNo eating or drinking in my car! I provide water for your convenience! This isnβt your diner!β
Most of the commenters agreed with the spirit of the list while decrying the need to state things they feel should go without saying. This was especially true in the Lyft Drivers subreddit, where it was crossposted. β[β¦] Itβs called common courtesy, but we apparently have to remind people itβs a thing,β writes Potatersauce.
The story is an excellent reminder that when weβre sharing space, our behavior impacts those around us, whether it be our kids, our drivers or their parrots.






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