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Teacher shares the one thing parents need to teach kids to prepare them for kindergarten

Kindergarten teacher Emily Perkins says avoiding this can make them "unteachable."

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Kindergarten teacher shares #1 thing parents should teach kids.

Sending your kid to kindergarten for the first time is a milestone parenting moment. For parents looking to prepare their kids for attending school for the first time, kindergarten teacher Emily Perkins (@emmymckenny) from Kentucky has spilled her wisdom.

In a new TikTok video, Perkins shared the number one thing parents should be teaching their kids before sending them to her classroom—and it's slightly controversial.

"No. No no no. No," she captioned the video. In it, she explains that parents need to teach their children the meaning of 'no,' and telling them 'no' when necessary.

@emmymckenny

No. No no no. No. #teachersoftiktok #momsoftiktok #gentleparenting #controversial

She says in the video, "A lot of people ask me all the time when they figure out that I’m a kindergarten teacher: What can they do to prepare their kid for kindergarten? What can I do—help them open their snacks? Help them tie their shoes? No, no, no, not that. Tell your kid, 'No' ... Tell them ‘No’ as a complete sentence."

The mom of two continues to add that if parents fail to tell and teach their kids "no," it can make them "unteachable" once they get in her classroom. "Do not teach them that telling them, 'No' invites them to argue with you, because if I can’t tell your child 'No' as an adult, and they don’t respect the 'No,' they’re basically unteachable. Let me tell you something: I will open their snacks, I will tie their shoes, I will help them blow their nose, I will teach them how to wash their hands properly."

@emmymckenny

I went viral #teachersoftiktok #viral #no


Perkins does not mince words when explaining the importance of teaching kids "no," and takes a stand against gentle parenting that she argues has turned many parents into pushovers. "The term gentle parenting gets thrown around like a reward—'Congratulations, you’re a pushover.' You can validate your child’s feelings without being a pushover. I heard a parent tell me that they don’t tell their child, 'No' because it triggers them," she explains.

Perkins adds that if parents cannot tell their children "no," neither can teachers—which can lead to disaster in kindergarten. "And if your child’s teacher can’t tell them, 'No,' it’s really hard to help them learn," she concluded.

@emmymckenny

IDC #teachersoftiktok #controversy #thingsidontcareabout

In an interview withTODAY, Perkins shared that "'No’ is not a bad word," and added that “‘no’ is not an invitation to an argument." She added, "My whole job is explaining. Think of logistics—if we’re lining up for a fire drill, it’s, 'No, you may not stay inside if the building is on fire' or 'No, you may not climb on the table because it’s not safe.'"

While she notes that further explanation of "no" to kids is certainly important, it's more crucial for kids to not to question or argue right away if they are told, "No." "I love to explain why, but if I can’t right then, kids still have to hear and accept 'no,'" she told the publication.

Perkins' video got a lot of support from fellow teachers and parents in the comment section:

"Preschool teacher here. you are 10000000000% correct. Let them struggle a bit so they can ACTUALLY do hard things. Let them experience disappointment! make them resilient!" one wrote.

"THIS!! I’m a first year kindergarten teacher and some of this littles just don’t get no… it’s so wild to me."

A parent viewer wrote, "True gentle parenting is about telling your child no and sticking to it. If you can never tell your child no it’s permissive."

And another parent shared, "Not a teacher just a mom, but YES. Not everything needs to be a lesson…sometimes because I said so is a complete sentence."

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Parenting

Teaching financial responsibility: the smart case for giving your child a credit card

“Helping your child build their credit score is an invaluable gift."

Photo credit: Canva

Nearly everything is purchased online these days.

With their colorful designs, customizable parental controls, and growing popularity among peers, it’s no surprise that kid-focused debit and credit cards have become increasingly appealing to families with young ones. Gen Z and Gen Alpha live in a vastly different financial landscape from their parents, and now, digital payments have largely eclipsed cash transactions. From concert tickets to food delivery to school supplies, nearly everything is purchased online. So, how can parents prepare their children for this new digital frontier and financial world that they themselves have not even experienced?

Ask the average parent about giving a credit card to a child, and they'll dream up a nightmare scenario: spoiled kids making endless purchases, unchecked impulse buying, mounting debt, and the development of poor financial habits. However, for the first generation growing up in an almost entirely cashless society, it makes sense for them to understand the value of money and how it’s used sooner rather than later.

Money, tree, financial responsibility, independence, financial literacyThe goal is financial independence. Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash


According to a 2019 CreditCards.com poll, six million American parents have at least one minor child with a credit card. Winnie Sun, co-founder and managing director of Sun Group Wealth Partners and member of the CNBC Financial Advisor Council, gave her three children credit cards before they entered kindergarten. While this might seem extreme, she believes these early financial practices helped her children develop healthy money habits. In her Op-Ed for CNBC, Sun notes that her own parents added her to their Visa Gold card when she was 13 years old.

"My mom specifically told me that it was for emergencies, or if I had permission beforehand to use it," Sun recalls. "She thought it was a way to help her daughter in case she needed money, but what she didn't know then was that it also helped me learn how to handle credit early in life.”

Credit card, finance, debit card, swipe, financial literacyEarly financial education is crucial. Giphy

Financial experts are increasingly convinced that young adolescents should be included in conversations about money, recognizing that early financial education is essential for navigating today's digital economy. But when’s the right time? Andrew Latham, a certified financial planner with SuperMoney, explains that parents should assess readiness based on specific criteria.

“Parents should consider their child’s ability to handle financial responsibilities, understanding of money management and the overall need for a card. If a child can budget their allowance and has consistent needs to make purchases independently, they may be ready for a card,” he explains.

And which option is better for kids: debit or credit? Well, there are distinct advantages and potential drawbacks associated with both, which parents should consider carefully.

Credit cards

The primary benefit of getting your child a credit card is building a credit history. Credit history length makes up about 15% of your FICO score and up to 20% of your VantageScore. A longer credit history shows that someone has managed their accounts responsibly over time, demonstrating reliable financial behavior. As a result, lenders and credit card companies are more likely to approve applications and offer better terms to those with an established, positive credit history. By adding your child as an authorized user on a credit card with consistent, on-time payments, you can help them build strong credit from an early age.

Child, strong, financial literacy, credit score, money You can help your child build strong credit. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

“Helping your child build their credit score is an invaluable gift,” writes Jae Bratton for NerdWallet. “A good credit score may help them secure a job, get lower interest rates on loans and, when the time comes, a top-notch credit card of their own.”

However, there are risks. Children under 18 cannot legally have their own credit card; they can only be authorized users on a parent’s account. As the name suggests, authorized users are allowed to use the card, but aren’t responsible for paying the bill. Therefore, parents will ultimately be responsible for all charges made on the card. If your child makes an expensive purchase, it could potentially affect your own credit utilization ratio and even damage their credit score. Jessica Pelletier, Executive Director of FitMoney, a nonprofit that provides free financial literacy curricula for K-12 schools, advises parents to remind their children that “there are firm limits…in place for authorized users.”

Debit cards

On the other hand, debit cards offer a more flexible yet tangible way for children to understand how to manage spending money. For Matt Gromada, the head of youth, family and starter banking at JPMorgan Chase & Co., he believes that early debit card access is a crucial component to lifelong financial literacy.

“Having a debit card opens the door for important conversations and real-world scenarios about the basics of finance—from spending and saving to explaining interest and how it accrues. It also gives your child a sense of pride, independence, and freedom, providing an opportunity for real-life experiences and learning,” he says.

Breaking free, financial literacy, debt, money, money management Break free of financial debt. Giphy

With debit cards, kids are limited to the amount of money available in the account, so they can't overspend beyond what is in the account. There are even modern debit cards specifically designed for kids, such as Greenlight, which offers a range of features that make parents and children feel secure and in control. There is no minimum age requirement for users, and parents can restrict spending at certain stores, set up safety SOS alerts, receive real-time notifications, and turn the card on or off remotely. This is also an easy way to transfer allowances to your child.

According to BECU, a financial cooperative, “a debit card can help your child learn financial responsibility basics such as keeping a card in a safe, dependable location, staying within spending limits, using a card for purchases, checking on balances, and monitoring for fraud.”

Of course, the main drawback of debit cards is that they don’t help establish or build a credit history. So, what’s right for you and your family? Start a dialogue today and discuss the best option for your children.

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Family

Mom shares 'kind can' idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school

She described the "kind can" as "a way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close.”

Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos/Facebook

The "kind can" is a tool for helping kids connect with others.

At some point, most parents have to field questions, concerns, worries, anxieties, and, sometimes, outright despair from their kids about their relationships with other kids. Friendships can be messy. Bullying is a thing. When you pool together a couple of dozen kids who are growing, changing, and figuring out their emotions for most of the day, all manner of relational dynamics can emerge.

Navigating the social landscape with our kids isn't easy. Each child is unique, some are more sensitive or aware of what's happening than others, and some need assistance with figuring out how to handle tough social situations. As parents, we don't want to swoop in and solve their problems, but we also don't want to leave them rudderless in a storm. We want to provide them with the tools and help them build the skills they'll need to steer their own ship.

kids, parenting, parents, tweens, issuesFinding the right balance can be tough.Image via Canva

One tool that can help a kid who is struggling to connect with their peers is intentional kindness. However, a blanket admonition to "be kind" is often too vague to help a kid in the midst of a social crisis. That's why one parent's "kind can" idea has gone viral—it offers a specific way to practice kindness in a way that's not overwhelming.

In a 2022 post on LinkedIn, mom Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos shared the idea, writing:

"'Mom, I hate them.'

'Them' being her friends at school.

This is what my 7-year-old confided to me as I was putting her to bed the other night.

I could have made light of her hatred, like I’ve done when she tells me she hates broccoli.

I could have gotten caught up in her anger: 'Who are these kids upsetting my daughter!?'

Instead, I asked her what was going on that her heart hurt so much.

Because under anger is usually hurt."


kind can, linkedin, post, social media, mom, parentingNieukerk-Chomos' post on LinkedInvia LinkedIn.

"Sure enough, the tears came pouring out as she told me about how her best friend only wanted to play with another girl, and how when she went to find others to play with they told her to go away.

This had been happening all week.

'Why doesn’t anybody like me?'

I didn’t have an answer for that, but I did have a thought: It’s time for the Kind Can.

Suddenly I was 8 years old again, a grade 3 student who was having a rough start to the school year.

I had a teacher I didn’t like, friendships had shifted, and I couldn’t seem to get along with anyone. I hated going to school.

My mom created a Kind Can.

She used a big Nescafe tin can (remember those?)

In the can went the names of every single one of my classmates. Each morning before school I
would pull a name out of the can. That day I had to go out of my way to do something kind for them.

Not to have them do something in return.

For no other reason than to do something kind.

It wasn’t easy at first, but my mom encouraged me to keep trying, and helped me think of all the different ways I could show kindness to others.

It started to get really fun!

And then things shifted.

No longer caught up in my own mind about what others were ‘doing to me’, I was now focused on what I was doing for others.

Though there were no expectations of kindness in return, more and more kindness is what I got. I loved going to school!

I told my daughter about the Kind Can and her eyes got that little spark – the one that tells me she’s about to get creative.

So yes, she has big plans for just how fancy this can will be – much better than an old tin can she proclaimed! That’s our project.

A Kind Can.

A way to create more kindness.

A way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close."

People loved the "kind can" idea, with the post being shared more than 3,000 times. Some people pointed out the beauty of the wisdom in it being passed down through generations. Several parents wished that they had seen the idea when their own kids were going through some social struggles. Many commenters said that a lot of adults could use a kind can as well.

kindness, kind can, parenting, kids, friendships, lessonsPass It On Be Kind GIFGiphy

With bullying becoming more widespread thanks to the Internet and social media, many parents are aware of the importance of instilling kindness in their children. On social media, parents are making a point to highlight moments of kindness from their own kids or from another kid to theirs, and the videos are warming hearts and reminding viewers that the kids really are all right—and will continue to be so long as we continue to model kindness like Nieukerk-Chomos.

@ismeganokay

When I tell you I burst into tears when that girl offered her her hand… a small gesture can mean so much | #bekind #endbullying #adhd #parenting

A "kind can" won't solve every friendship woe a child has, but goodness knows the world could use more kindness. Helping kids practice that virtue with a tool that makes it specific and fun is definitely a win-win.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Parenting

Mom removed young daughter's mustache after she was bullied, sparking debate

It's an experience many girls can relate to.

Image via Canva

Mom removes young daughter's mustache after she is bullied.

Kids can find plenty of reasons to bully one another, and for many young girls, an easy target for bullies is making fun of dark hair or peach fuzz above the upper lip.

Rather than let her daughter's 'mustache' subject her to ridicule from her classmates, mom Aubrye (@eyrbua) shared on TikTok that she decided to remove it. It's a decision that's sparked debate among other parents.

"My daughter came home from school one day crying saying kids were making fun of her mustache and asked me to 'take it off," she shared in the video's caption.

@eyrbua

#girlmom #girlhood #momsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #daughter #momanddaughter #fyp #girls #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #blowthisupforme

In the video, Aubrye can be seen removing her daughter's unwanted facial hair in the video while the song "Being a Girl" by Jonica plays in the background. In the caption, she explains her decision to take off the extra peach fuzz: "I reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what but if she wanted me to to take it off for her to feel better I'd do that," she writes.

She ends the caption with a closing statement to solidify the choice: "I always want my baby to feel beautiful and confident."

In the comment section, Aubrye added an update on how it made her daughter feel. "Since doing it, her confidence is through the roof, her grades have gotten better and she comes home from school happy all the time. Definitely worth seeing my little girl happy," she wrote.


mustache, girl, gif, tiktok, debateGirl Illustration GIF by Valérie BoivinGiphy

Many parents were supportive of Aubrye's decision.

"Thank you for helping her instead of just telling her to suck it up."

"I would never understand mothers who refuse to let their daughters shave."

"This is how you parent correctly. My daughter came home complaining about her eyebrows saying people were making fun of her. So I cleaned them up for her," one parent shared, to which Aubrye replied, "You’re a great mama 🩷 I always want to support my daughters and help their confidence any way I can."

applause, praise, gif, support, clapJennifer Lopez Applause GIF by NBC World Of DanceGiphy

Others were more conflicted about it:

"I also have a small daughter but I don't know how I feel about it because okay she took her little mustache off but what's next? If they don't like something else about her, she's gonna try to keep changing for these kids. She should just learn to be a little tougher. Or maybe just go to the school directly. I don't know I feel so conflicted."

"Personally, I’d be teaching my kid to verbally and if necessary physically stand up to bullies. Teaching them that conventional beauty is fake. It’s made up. My kid should not be shaving or changing her body in ANY way. Just to accommodate someone else’s opinions of them. To me, that just teaches them to do that their whole lives. I’d rather teach my kid to clock a bully than be a doormat."

"My daughter has been bullied for the same reason! But I have taught her to always say my mustache makes me special 🥰 and it has worked for her confidence to have a cute mustache🥸."

Whether people agreed or disagreed with her decision to remove her daughter's mustache, the post resonated with many women who grew up with the same experience:

"Ok so I’m 52 and this is me. Kids use to bully me for having a mustache and unibrow. This was back in the 80s. Kid were even meaner. Thank you for hearing her. And helping her. No one helped me," one wrote.

Another shared, "I got bullied for my mustache. Didn’t shave it until an adult and only to scrape the dead skin off. Teach your kids to love themselves. They’d say 'you’re a girl, why do you have a mustache?!'"

"My mom never let me and she doesn’t know how much it affected me that she didn’t," shared one more.

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