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His daughter crashed on a skate ramp. His response was a masterclass in awesome parenting.

He perfectly balanced empathy, encouragement, and empowerment.

Photo credit: Canva

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to react in the moment.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

good mom, good parentingIt's always good to see examples of stellar parenting.Giphy GIF by ABC Network

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. In 2022, he was teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared an exchange he had with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

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Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuck-asaurus" video in which she offered delightfully colorful commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

skateboarding girl, skateboard dadPractice makes perfect.Giphy

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

dad on skateboard, kids skating, parentingParents often set the tone for how kids react.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

courage, parental encouragementEncouragement is part of how kids gain courage.Giphy Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's ongoing family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Debate erupts after mom questions whether parents 'should' play with their kids on the playground

She says sitting on the bench instead of playing doesn't make you lazy.

Canva Photos

Is sitting on the bench at the playground "lazy parenting"?

I've been both parents in this situation: I've been the dad climbing up the playground with my kids, chasing them, making up silly games. And then I've also been the dad who just wants to sit on the bench and rest for a few minutes, and who groans when my 4-year-old decides she wants to take on the monkey bars and needs my help.

The former makes you feel like a million bucks, but is utterly exhausting. The latter comes with a ton of guilt. Where does the guilt come from? Why is there so much pressure to always be "on"? I have no idea, but it's suffocating. And some parents have had enough.

One mom is taking a stand against the judgment and internalized-guilt. She says it's more than fine to sit on the side and let your kids play independently.


moms, motherhood, parenting, mom shame, mom guilt, dads, fatherhood, kids, playground, play, independenceSome parents get accused of "not supervising" their kids when they're literally sitting 10 feet away. Photo by Oakville Dude on Unsplash

Amanda, a mom of three, recently posted a video on Instagram: "I saw a reel that said, 'parents at the park should get off the bench and play with their kids...' NO" the caption read.

"God forbid we ... let the playground be for kids ... a space where they get to experience some freedom, explore, interact and engage with other children without their parent breathing down their neck," she writes in the post.

Amanda adds that the advice to "get off the bench" came from a parenting influencer she usually really likes and who has helped her come up with new ideas to connect with her kids. But it shows how deeply-ingrained the pressure really is when even the "good" parenting experts are anti-rest and pro-hyper-involvement.

"I’m just highlighting here that ITS OKAY if you don’t want to be the adult scaling the playground!!" Amanda says. "Didn’t think this was a controversial take but I’ve said it before on here and have been called lazy."


Surprisingly, users were split on Amanda's "hot take," and were pretty heated about it themselves. Over 1.2 million people watched the video and thousands chimed in with their thoughts on the matter.

Many agreed that it was ridiculous to hold parents to the always-on standard.

"That was definitely said by a non parent who probably got ten hours of sleep. The audacity"

"Those of us who are SAHMs go ri the playground for a mother freakin BREAK"

"I tell my kids all the time: 'Go play with your brothers, that’s why I made more than 1 of you' I’m here to sip my coffee and talk to my friends"

"solo mother to toddler triplets here. It has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to the point I can actually sit down at the park. I’d love someone to say that to my face while I take the ONLY 5 minute break I get in my day"

"This! There is an over correction in the parenting these days. This gen of parents wants so barely to not be the absentee parents of yesteryear that they over parent and are over involved"

Some parents had safety concerns about not being "right there" in case something were to happen.

"I hear you but sometimes my toddler wants to play on the bigger structure and I just stand below making sure he doesn't jump off the high platforms"

"I wish, my anxiety is too bad 😂 I’m working on it."

"Maybe when they stop making playgrounds with random drop offs I can be chill enough to sit down."

"Parents need to get off their phones. I'm tired of having to tell someone else's kid to stop throwing sand cuz their mommy cares more about their phone than their kid."

(Whether being on your phone while your kid plays within eye-and-ear-shot is inherently bad is another discussion we need to have.)

A few commenters brought up an even greater point: It's about more than just mom and dad getting a break. It's about giving kids an opportunity to practice independence.

"As a mom of two, I’ve learned there’s so much value in giving kids space to play, explore, and even figure things out without us constantly hovering. It doesn’t mean we’re lazy, it means we trust their independence and know our own nervous systems matter too. We need more conversations like this"

"Let them be bored. Let them get creative. Let them make new friends. Their parent is not their court jester. The playground is meant for children to play, not the parents."

In fact, a key element of the popular and scientifically-validated Montessori method is that children should never be interrupted when playing or focusing on an activity.

"When children are engaged in interesting activities, they are simultaneously practicing their ability to remain engaged, to attend to other activities and to manage multiple stimuli without losing the capacity to concentrate on one. For parents, supporting children’s developing concentration means, first, giving them the opportunity to concentrate without interruption," writes Raintree Montessori.

Many well-regarded educational philosophies center on child-led learning, independence, and allowing children room to flex their creativity and play the way they want. Kids without an opportunity to learn and practice independence early have been shown to have worse outcomes later in life.

Why do millennial parents feel so much pressure to be hyper-involved?


moms, motherhood, parenting, mom shame, mom guilt, dads, fatherhood, kids, playground, play, independenceIt's hard for parents to let go, but kids need chances to practice doing things on their own. Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash

Gen X and certainly Boomer parents did not feel the same way. Many of them were and are more than content to let their kids run free without nearly as much supervision — for better or worse.

Maybe we've just seen too many influencers wagging their fingers at us, having grown up on social media. We've seen too many news stories about kidnapping and other bad actors stalking public parks. We've seen the horrible injuries and accidents amplified by social algorithms that feed on fear and anger. And so we "helicopter." Not to be controlling, but to be protective.

Bit by bit, though, the public conversation is changing. Parents are being encouraged more and more to let go, just a little bit.

It's such a fine line, though. Many parents hover over their kids on the playground precisely because of potential dangers, bullying, or negative interactions with other kids. And who wouldn't do anything in the world to protect their child?! But it's also more than OK for a parent to consider that a crucial part of the independence lesson. Sometimes it's good for kids to work out conflicts on their own! It's even good for them to push their limits too far and fall down!

Ultimately, you don't have to be a "play" parent or a "bench" parent. You can choose for yourself based on your child, what he or she needs, and what the situation calls for. In the end, there should be a lack of judgment whatever you choose.

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Body safety expert shares why parents should never threaten to hurt child abusers

It's more harmful to their kids than they know.

via Canva/Photos

A father talking to his daughter.

Warning: The following article discusses child sexual abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.

Every parent wants their child to feel protected from any type of danger that may come their way. However, Lexi Koster, a Child Life Specialist and Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist with expertise in childhood sexual assault (CSA), says that parents should be careful how they talk about protecting their children from sexual abusers.

Koster believes that parents should refrain from telling their children that if they are touched inappropriately, they will take action against them, whether it means physical harm or getting the law involved. That doesn’t mean the parents shouldn't take appropriate action if something were to occur, but they shouldn’t talk about any potential punishment or retribution around their child.

@thebodysafetyexpert

#bodysafety #bodysafetyeducation #csaprevention #fyp #childprotection #childsafety #protectourkids #foryou #childsafetytips #protectourchildren #parenting101 #consciousparenting

“Kids will believe you when you say things like ‘If anybody ever touches your private parts, I will make sure something bad happens to them’ or ‘You will never see them again,’” she explains in a video on TikTok with over 190,000 views. “This is a big problem because kids are most often sexually abused by people they know and love, like family members.

“So if they think that you’re going to hurt this person, or send them away so that they never see them again, this might scare them into not disclosing to you and enduring this abuse for a very long time,” Koster continues. “Instead, if kids ask what will happen to this person, you can say ‘I’ll make sure they get the help they need from trusted professionals, but what happens to them is not your responsibility and it is not your fault.”

sad girl, paper dolls, blaonde little girl, young girl, arts and craftsA young girl playing with a paper doll.via Canva/Photos

Koster’s advice is based on one of the most disturbing facts about child abuse: often, the abuser is someone the family knows and trusts. According to Darkness to Light, an organization dedicated to ending child sexual abuse, more than 90% of abusers are people that children know, love, and trust. Thirty to forty percent of abusers are family members, and 50% are someone outside of the family that the child knows and trusts. Eighty-five percent of child abuse victims never report their abuse, and a big reason is that they are afraid of harming their abuser.

“This is why I get so frustrated when I see people fantasize about hurting (or worse) abusers. I get the emotional reaction, trust me, as a victim, I know, but these actions and rhetoric only make it harder for victims to feel able to come forward,” one of the TikTok commenters wrote. “This is the exact reason I never told my family. I was terrified of the consequences,” another added. “Double this with: Abusers often threaten their victims with the same line of things if not worse if they 'tell', and it's an absolute riptide current situation,” a commenter wrote.

soccer coach, co-ed soccer team, young girls and boys, coach and kids, sportsA soccer coach working with his team.via Canva/Photos

What are some signs that someone may be a child abuser?

The disturbing things about child abusers is that they, more often than not, are someone the child and family know well. So, how can we identify if someone is an abuser before something terrible happens? Koster says there are five red flags parents should look out for.

@thebodysafetyexpert

Replying to @tia_ftm i have a whole comprehensive resource on body safety for parents which i’ll share once I hit 1K! (I can’t post a link in my bio until that happens) Pls help me reach this goal!! ❤️ #bodysafety #bodysafetyeducation #csaprevention #fyp #foryou #childprotection #childsafety #childsafetytips #protectourkids #protectourchildren #consciousparenting #parenting101

Five red flags that someone may be a child abuser

1. Insisting on alone time

“First, is creating opportunities for or insisting on having alone time with a child. I've heard countless stories from parents about tutors, piano teachers, even grandparents getting defensive when the parents suggests that another adult should be present to monitor the activities. That is a huge red flag.”

2. Boundary pushing and manipulation

“This might look like a person insisting on babysitting your child because you really look like you need a break, or subtly testing boundaries like making inappropriate comments or jokes about or in front of children.”

3. Too-good-to-be-true complex

“They are available for absolutely any issue, day or night, for your family may sometimes even show up and offer this support unprovoked."

4. Downplaying or deflecting concerns

"Fourth is exhibiting behaviors where they're exerting some sort of control over a child. This might look like encouraging secrecy, which is a big no no, or engaging in excessive physical contact while ignoring a child's discomfort. They might do this in order to make you feel guilty for bringing it up in the first place, and may even use their status or favors that they've done for the child and family to quickly shut down concerns.”

5. Defensiveness

“Anytime someone gets defensive or makes you feel stupid for insisting that they practice body safety rules with your child, red flag, no good. My best advice to you is to trust your gut. If someone feels off or too good to be true, they probably are.”

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I forced my Gen Alpha kid to watch 22 episodes of 'Boy Meets World.' Then she asked for more.

This one still delivers.

Canva Photos & Disney Plus

Young girl watching TV,; Cory and Shawn from Boy Meets World

TGIF can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. A celebration of the fact that the weekend is just around the corner, a pretty solid casual restaurant or happy hour spot from the early 2000s, etc. But to elder millennials, TGIF refers to only one thing: an epic evening of television featuring iconic sitcoms like Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, and of course, Boy Meets World. Can you believe those bangers used to all be on back to back to back?! We truly didn't realize how lucky we were in the 90s.

Boy Meets World, in particular, was an incredibly important show for me. As a curly haired, middle-class kid, it was easy for me to see myself in Cory Matthews, the flawed protagonist of the series. Cory was always worried about fitting in and being popular. He was jealous that his cool older brother and best friend had great hair and knew how to talk to girls. He was constantly screwing up and finding ways to make things right. It's what television was meant to be, and it taught me lessons that I took into my own friendships, my first relationship, and more.

As I get closer to my late-late-late 30s, I decided that I wanted to see if Boy Meets World still had the same magic I remember from when I was young. The twist is that now I have a daughter about Cory Matthews' age, a Gen Alpha kid, and I wanted to see how she'd respond to the characters and storylines that resonated with me so deeply way back when. For reference, a LOT of books, movies, and shows of my youth have completely failed to connect with her and her more modern sensibilities.

So, I sat her down and more or less forced her to watch the first season, or 22 episodes, with me. To my surprise, she wanted to keep going.

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsIm Right Here Look At Me GIFGiphy

Upon rewatch, it's not hard to see why. If you look past the baggy clothes and landline telephones, the lessons (and laughs) underneath are timeless. I was not expecting the show to connect with a representative from Gen Alpha, who are decidedly different from millennials when we were that age, in many many ways. But I think it works not because it reminds her of other things she likes, but specifically because it doesn't.

Here are five things Boy Meets World brings to the table that my 10-year-old is not used to seeing in her media:

1. Lessons (so many lessons)

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsThis line from "Cult Fiction" is better than anything on YouTube or TikTokGiphy

By the end of every episode of the show, Cory has had to learn a very tough lesson. He has to learn how to be more honest, how to be a better friend, or even when it's good to break the rules.

And that's just the regular episodes, to say nothing of the Very Special Episodes. After much consideration, I say: Bring back Very Special Episodes!

Are they cheesy? Absolutely. Are they a little simplistic and surface level? Sure. But they do something not a lot of kids media does anymore which is challenge young people with complex ideas. They are great discussion starters, especially as a parent watching alongside.

In one episode, Cory and Topanga fall asleep at the school while staying late to finish a project. The next day, everyone at school thinks Cory is "the man" for, presumably, hooking up with her. The show leaves certain things unsaid, or to the imagination, but it gave us a peek into sexism and reputation that my daughter hasn't been exposed to in the usual shows she watches.

And then, of course, there's the famous episode "Cult Fiction" where Shawn joins a cult called The Center. "Daddy, what's a cult?" is not a question I expected to field from my 10-year-old, but here we are! It was challenging, in a good way, to try to explain what they are and why they're harmful, which the show itself only vaguely touches on. These episodes were successful at piquing her curiosity and forcing her to ask questions, which is exactly the point.

A lot of the media my daughter watches just lacks this substance, even if it is simplistic at times in Boy Meets World. Shows she's enjoyed like Henry Danger or Sam and Cat come across as more purely silly—and both receive dismal scores from Common Sense Media for categories like "Positive Messages" and "Educational Value."

2. An honest-to-God plot

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsA simple plot is still better than no plot at all.Giphy

Boy Meets World isn't known for convoluted plot twists or reinventing the narrative structure. But at least it's got a story to offer.

Gen Alpha doesn't spend a lot of time engaging with plot-based media. My daughter and her friends love to read, and to watch the films and TV shows based on their favorite books, but as a whole, younger people are getting a lot of their entertainment from YouTube and TikTok. They spend a lot of time watching Get Ready With Me videos, Try Not To Laughs, Mr. Beast stunts, or people playing video games on livestreams.

Maybe it makes me sound old, but I'll say it anyway: Story still matters! Plot is good for your brain because it forces you to put yourself in the shoes of different characters. You have to imagine what one character might be thinking in a scene that leads them to do whatever it is they do next. Characters don't always say exactly what they mean (subtext) so your brain has to fill in the gaps and try to decipher when they're lying or withholding information or their true emotions.

Not all screen time is created equal. Watching a story is an active process. It's important for our brains, and helps build empathy and social intelligence. It elicits emotion. That's definitely something that's missing from a lot of the Gen Alpha media diet.

It also keeps kids like my daughter coming back because she wants to know what's going to happen next, not because the algorithm's got her hooked with easy bursts of dopamine.

3. Extremely outdated references, fashion, and technology

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsKids today don't understand how much of an icon Shawn Hunter was.Giphy

The clothes and the landlines in the show are a serious walk down memory lane, but Boy Meets World feels old in more ways than that. (Seriously, at one point the Matthews family receives a telegram, which was a stretch even for the 90s.)

Boy Meets World, at this point, almost represents a completely different way of life. Shawn carries around a "black book" of all the girls he's dated with their phone numbers written down. The celebrity cameos are completely lost on my daughter, and often on me (I mean, the Love Boat guys, really?). But it's fun to get to explain these aspects of my own childhood to her, and she gets a kick out of it, too. The strange elements are challenging, in a good way.

As a side note: The baggy jeans are the one thing that don't look out of place anymore on the show. They're so back, baby!

4. Brave choices

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsRemember Cory and Topanga getting hitched and living in the 'married dorm'?Giphy

BMW was not afraid to pull at the heart strings, and while the plot was usually pretty formulaic, the writers were capable of shocking you.

For example, one of the main teachers, Mr. Turner, nearly dies out of nowhere! Shawn's dad abandons him to go chase after the love of his life. And a fresh-out-of-high-school Eric finds himself dating a young, single mom. Of course, one of the most memorable and shocking moments in the show is when Cory cheats on Topanga with another girl on a school trip. Can you imagine that happening in a so-called kids' show today? It's character suicide by today's standards. But they did it anyway and somehow pulled it off. That episode is heavily debated among fans to this day.

The show also played into sitcom tropes and cookie-cutter themes and lessons, but it also wasn't afraid to wade into grey areas sometimes. One of my favorite early episodes of the show to rewatch is an episode where Cory's dad lets him stay up late to watch a big baseball game with him, and a very sleepy Cory flunks a test at school the next day. Cory's dad and teacher, Mr. Feeny, then trade jabs over whether it was right or wrong. There's no clear winner, no exact right answer, just a lot to think about. I like my daughter being exposed to the idea that there's not always a clear cut solution, and I get the sense she's enjoyed that about the show, too.

Boy Meets World, contrary to its squeaky clean reputation, also has a few episodes that Disney has subsequently banned for being too racy or controversial, including Shawn shoving his girlfriend after having too much to drink. I'd like to see any modern family-friendly show have the guts to go there and turn it into a teachable moment.

5. Good adults—mostly

boy meets world, tgif, 90s tv, 90s nostalgia, television, disney, disney channel, gen alpha, millennialsAlan Matthews belongs in the TV Dad Hall of FameGiphy

Alan, Amy, Mr. Feeny, and Mr. Turner were anything but caricatures. What strikes me most rewatching as an adult is how much I relate to and still admire the core adults in the show.

Even in a lot of modern adult sitcoms, the adults are all idiots. In kids shows, it's worse, with the buffoon dad merely there for comic relief and the mom too busy and frazzled to have any idea what's going on.

Crucially, during our rewatch of BMW, I realize that every single one of the main adults screws up at some point and has to apologize for it. They do their best, they're mostly wise and responsible, but they make mistakes, too. It's so important for kids to see that, and for my daughter to know that my wife and I are the same way.

Not everything in Boy Meets World has aged well. Even I can admit that the show has its warts.

Cory's behavior isn't always great. He can be very jealous and controlling of Topanga, and there's also this running thread in the show that they are "soulmates" and "absolutely have to be together" under any circumstances. That's an idea we would likely consider harmful or toxic today. Topanga even gives up a chance to go to Yale so that she can go to the state school with Cory, which is probably not the decision I'd like my own kids to make. The boys on the show can also be a little girl crazy, to the point that it borders on misogyny or just plain gross-ness. It also leans so heavily on nerd/jock stereotypes that it ends up perpetuating them.

But the core elements of the show: the lessons, the way it never talks down to the kids watching it, the beautiful portrayals of friendship and first love. Those are absolutely timeless.

There just aren't many shows left that even attempt to do what Boy Meets World did and the way it grew up with its audience. The closest modern equivalent I've seen would have to be Bluey. Maybe that's why the show is so beloved, because it understands what made the TGIF formula work so well and has perfectly adapted it to the modern age. It hits all five of the points above, with admirable adult characters, complex lessons, and even flashbacks to the 80s!

A skeptic might say that my daughter doesn't really care about the show, she just likes getting to stay up late and spend time together. But, now that we're deep into Season Five and showing no signs of slowing down, I can safely say that the magic is still there.

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