No doubt inspired by this super-shouty election year, Sen. Claire McCaskill has made her own declaration of independence.
This one might unite us all. * fingers crossed *
Independence from what?
The Missouri Democrat wants independence from mansplaining.
A definition:
SPLAIN v. (to splain) — the general act of being explained something by someone like it’s universally true. Often used with a prefix. Examples: mansplain, whitesplain, tap-dancersplain. —splained, —splaining.n. forms: —splainer, —splanation(s).
Getting splained is frustrating. But it happens.
Thankfully McCaskill and the crew at “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” were able to come up with a hilarious way to offer those who are shouting over everyone else a chance to generously step back so others can have their voices heard.
In the video (which, before you get offended, was comedy), McCaskill says it’s important for her to encourage more women to run for office, “but equally important is encouraging more men to just shut the hell up.”
And like all great declarations, it gets specific. Here are some of the subjects McCaskill declared that louder folks can take a step back on.
1. What women do with their bodies
2. Who the next James Bond should be
3. Whether or not it’s pronounced “GIF” or “JIF”
Come on, no matter who you are, you gotta be tired of hearing people argue about this stuff. 🙂
And also all these:
4. Star Wars
5. Pantsuits
6. Selfies
7. Shonda Rhimes
There’s a “Grey’s Anatomy” episode for us all!
8. Curtains
9. Carbs
10. Millennials
11. Body hair removal
Why. Just why. How. Why.
12. Religion
Founding Fathers agree.
13. Gluten
14. Harry Potter
15. Nut allergies
16. Star Wars, again
Yes it gets on the list twice. Shh!
17. All art in general
You think that’s more art and that’s more not-art? No talkie, plz.
18. Whether or not to brine the Thanksgiving turkey
19. Ethics in gaming journalism
Hoo boy.
She does, however, mention that the consolation prize for sitting down at the table of speak-up equality is this:
Getting to weigh in on marijuana legalization (if you can control yourselves and keep from giving your opinion about the other things).
Teehee. How about that? An elected official with a sense of humor!
All GIFs via “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.”
And just in case you were worried McCaskill is all style and no substance, let me refresh your memory. When former Rep. Todd Akin (R-Missouri) decided women’s wombs were rape-repellent, she said this:
I’d say she’s earned her stripes to have a laugh, huh?
And good for her for just basically calling for a little less talking and a little more listening. We all could use that!
A shoutout also to Stephen Colbert for bringing this gem into our lives and for helping us all keep our sense of humor even when it seems like everyone’s in a fight. <3
Here’s hoping that everyone hears this so we can spend less time talking over each other and more time listening, empathizing, and being our own awesome, individual selves.
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.
Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.
A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.
Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.
Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.
Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.
Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.
Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.
Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.
Onion rings are a staple fast-food item. Yet you’re unlikely to find them at McDonald’s, one of the most recognizable fast-food chains in the world.
However, once upon a time, Mickey D’s did experiment with its own version of the side item, and it’s easy to see why the idea was short-lived.
It was the 1970s, and by then, allegedly thanks to a Texas-based drive-in restaurant called The Pig Stand, onion rings were already a popular fast-food item. However, McDonald’s’ entire brand is centered around efficiency and profit, and compared to fries, onion rings would have been more time-consuming to make and less cost-effective.
Enter: Onion Nuggets
Photo credit: Wiki.com – A vintage ad for McDonald's Onion Nuggets.
According to Mental Floss, the rather baffling idea came from Rene Arend, McDonald’s first executive chef, who would later develop the somewhat controversial McRib. And get this: they actually predate chicken nuggets.
Rather than cutting onions into thin rings, food workers would batter and deep-fry onion bits. However, it soon became clear that customers, especially children, didn’t enjoy this particular vegetable-to-batter ratio. You can almost picture the confusion at the counter: someone opens the box expecting a familiar crispy ring and instead finds a pile of tiny fried onion clusters. Technically accurate, sure. Emotionally satisfying? Eh, that’s another story.
But Arend was then instructed to apply the concept to a chicken-based product, and voilà—the Chicken McNugget was born, and we were never the same. So you could say onion nuggets walked so chicken nuggets could run!
Interestingly, McDonald’s could take Burger King’s approach, which essentially makes “rings” out of minced onions. According to Tasting Table, “The goal isn’t to recreate the diner-style onion ring, but to offer a salty, crunchy side that’s cheap, uniform, and easy to churn out by the millions.” However, some have criticized this recipe as more like “tiny onion flavored doughnuts.” Honestly, not seeing the problem there.
There have been far worse mess-ups
And when you think about McDonald’s’ long history of bizarre menu failures, including the 1960s Hula Burger (a pineapple slice with cheese), McSpaghetti, and Seinfeld-inspired Muffin Toppers, deep-fried onion bits don’t sound too strange. Some folks are even nostalgic about it and would love to see its glorious return. While the odds are never zero, they are quite low.
That’s not to say the restaurant won’t ever sell proper onion rings. But Mike Haracz, a former McDonald’s manager of culinary innovation, explains in a TikTok video that they would likely only ever be a “limited-time offer” so as not to compete with their “over-the-top profitable” French fries.
If you’re jonesing for some McDonald’s onion rings, they’re occasionally served in places outside the United States, such as Turkey, Greece, Israel, and even Australia. Just as Haracz predicted, they’re limited-time items.
We can probably all agree that if any menu item deserves a comeback, it’s the Apple Fritter.
As the music began, no one knew what the apparatus made of poles and bars surrounding the dancers was for. But it soon became apparent that they would use it to lift themselves off the ground. What started with a simple pull-up, however, turned into an incredible synchronized dance to Justin Bieber’s “Where Are U Now” in which the dancers synchronized their movements without their feet even touching the ground.
AIRFOOTWORKS dancing to Justin Bieber on AGT
The dancers, who hail from Japan, were mentored by Kenichi Ebina, who won AGT Season 8 in 2013. Their performance earned them a standing ovation from all four judges and the audience.
“Everything about the performance was perfect,” said judge Sofia Vergara.
“It was so creative and so different—and so difficult, by the way,” said judge Simon Cowell. “So you have a great mentor. However, even if you’ve got a great mentor, you’ve still got to be able to do what your mentor helps you to do. And you did it immaculately.”
AGT fans agree with the judges
People in the comments were equally blown away.
“How do people find out they have talents like this??? ✋ “
“My toxic trait is thinking I can do this without any difficulty .”
“Insane core strength.”
“OBSESSED with this audition.”
“What kind of core strength is this… flawless, “
Many people were disappointed that none of the judges hit the Golden Buzzer.
“Why no Golden Buzzer?!?!?! If I’ve seen any act more deserving of it, I can’t recall. These guys were AWESOME!!!!!!!”
“Did they run out of golden buzzers? This is worthy.”
“THEY DESERVED THE GOLDEN BUZZER!”
“This performance absolutely deserved a golden buzzer. It was just spectacular.”
“Can only assume all the judges were so enthralled and mesmerized by this performance they forgot there was a golden buzzer.”
The ‘Golden’ performance
AIRFOOTWORKS did, in fact, earn a Golden Buzzer from Howie Mandel during the Quarterfinals sending them directly to the finale, where the group performed to an EDM mix by Steve Aoki. While they didn’t receive enough votes to win the entire competition, they have certainly earned AGT royalty status.
Since their AGT run, AIRFOOTWORKS have continued to take the world stage – reaching the finals of talent competitions in France and Italy, and performing at the Royal Variety Performance in the UK.
For more talent auditions, you can follow America’s Got Talent on YouTube and TikTok.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
Halloween has come a long way since the 70s and 80s, when Gen X kids donned the worst mass-produced costumes known to man to go out and ask strangers for candy that we were sure was laced with poison or razor blades. Those sure were good times, though, weren’t they? Social media creator Kelly Manno shared a video describing what Halloween was like for kids who grew up in “the forgotten generation,” and holy moly is it accurate.
First, Manno showed a photo of someone dressed in an “80s costume” for Halloween, with neon colors, legwarmers and big hair, and said, “Absolutely nobody looked like that in the 80s, especially on Halloween. We looked like this.”
Then she showed a grainy photo of kids in the plastic masks and poorly printed costumes that were the hallmark of the age.
“Every single member of Gen X can smell this photo,” she said. “It’s like a vinyl, like plasticky paint smell.”
Manno explained that our parents only took a few photos of us per year, and Halloween was always one of them.
“You knew, before you went out trick-or-treating, that you had to line up with your cousins in front of the fireplace, in your highly flammable costumes, with your mom chain-smoking Virginia Slims.”
How about those masks
Oh, those masks were the worst inventions ever. The eyeholes never lined up properly, so you were constantly trying to adjust them to be able to see even a little bit.
“We would push our tongue through the slit in the mask. It would cut our tongue, but then we’d keep doing it again because we were eaten up with OCD and ADD and nobody cared.”
Then Manno described the “garbage bag costumes” we had, which were basically trash bags printed with whatever character it was supposed to be. So janky. So sweaty. So crinkly when we walked. But somehow still socially preferable to your mom making your costume from scratch.
“Look at us, we were terrifying,” Manno concludes. “No wonder people tried to poison us.”
A stroll down ‘That actually happened’ lane
Her descriptions of what it felt like to trick-or-treat in those costumes and haul our own bodyweight in candy are spot on, and people who lived it are feeling the nostalgia.
“So much truth in one video! I just saw, heard, and smelled my childhood.”
“You are literally making me laugh so damn hard, cause you described it exactly as it was, but my mom smoked Winston’s!”
“It was always freezing on Halloween that the vinyl/plastic suit would crack and tear halfway through the night.”
“Or the rubber band breaking at the second house and you had to hold it up on your face at the door the rest of the night. Good times.”
“The tongue thing is on point. I can still feel it. “
“I can totally smell that picture lol. I remember the steam from inside the mask would have your lashes and eyebrows covered in dew then after a couple streets of running house to house the crotch would tear out. We would stay out until everybody turned their lights off and the pillow case was full.”
“Yes!!!! And we used a pillow case for our candy. And no adult supervision.”
“My mom made me really nice homemade costumes, but I remember begging for the plastic Strawberry Shortcake garbage bag one. So, she bought it for me one year. That was a terrible, sweaty experience. “
“Let’s not forget having to inspect every piece of candy for razor blades. I swear I lost half my haul to my father in that clean up. “
Kids these days have no idea, with their official city trick-or-treat hours and their parents walking around with them and their costumes that actually look like the thing they’re trying to be. The 70s and 80s were a wild time, and as funny as it is to reminisce about those Halloweens of old, most of us would agree that the experience has been much improved for our own kids.
Pillowcases still make the best trick-or-treat bags, though. Some things do not change.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
Job interviews can be stressful for even the most prepared job seekers. For some, one common question adds to the pressure: “Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
Panic can easily set in. “What if they don’t understand how I lost my last job?” “What if being a homemaker for those years hurts my chances?” Many other questions can run through your head.
Anna Papalia, a career coach, says the gap-in-resume question is usually asked for a different reason than most interviewees think.
⬇️ Employers do—and should—care about large gaps in employment. Since they invest major time and resources in screening, onboarding, and training new employees, companies must be selective about who they hire. 📄A resume gap could signal you had trouble finding a new job after a job loss, or that you have difficulty making a commitment. They may wonder what you were doing while unemployed and whether you’re trying to hide something. If you have gaps in your resume, hiring managers want to know the “why” behind that period of unemployment. 🚨More importantly, they want to be sure your absence from the workforce doesn’t imply behavioral patterns or attitudes that might make you a risky hire. 🧐What is considered a big gap in employment? According to Indeed.com, any break over six months is considered significant. ➡️How to answer “Why is there a gap on your resume?” 🔵 Be honest. It can be tempting to conceal gaps in your work history when you’re trying to present yourself in the best light possible to employers. But lying on your resume is never a good idea. Since they review so many of them, hiring managers are skilled at spotting inconsistencies and other red flags on resumes. Most verify work history and may even perform background checks. If you’re untruthful about employment dates, it’s likely you’ll be found out eventually—and you could even lose your job over it. Honesty is always the best option. 🔵 Explain employment gaps in your cover letter. In general, there’s no dedicated place on your resume to detail the reasons you were out of work for an extended period. This is where your cover letter comes in handy. Address resume gaps proactively by calling them out in your cover letter. Summarize the reasons for your hiatus—one or two straightforward sentences will do. Don’t get too wordy, since you want to keep the focus on your relevant experience and attributes and why you’re the right choice for the job. extra hard to illustrate the value you bring to a potential employer. 🔵 Highlight what you did accomplish while out of work. You may have been out of the workforce for a bit—but that doesn’t mean you sat around twiddling your thumbs. If you took on any unpaid roles or noteworthy projects during that period, be sure to say so on your resume. This shows you stayed active and engaged even though you weren’t formally in the workplace. Volunteer or caregiver roles should be listed on your resume just like a paying job. Any degrees completed or courses taken can be noted in the Education section of your resume. 📌For example: ◦ You volunteered for your community food bank. ◦ You went back to finish your degree. ◦ You brushed up on your technology skills by taking a course. ◦ You were the sole caregiver to an ailing family member. ◦ You pursued a side project important to you. ◦ You traveled extensively and explored new cultures. • 🎯Consider any transferable skills or perspectives you gained and how they make you a stronger candidate for the job. For instance, maybe you came up with a successful fundraising idea for a charity you volunteer for. Or you managed the event committee at your church and gained valuable leadership skills. Don’t hesitate to think outside of the box! #interview#howtoanswerinterviewquestions#resume#jobsearch#careertips#unemployed
In a TikTok video, Papalia explains that hiring managers are primarily asking this question to weed out candidates who don’t need a job.
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but they want to verify that you’re not just quitting every time you get frustrated,” she says.
Papalia says the interviewer wants to make sure the person wouldn’t just leave the job because they have a trust fund or a wealthy family member to fall back on. It’s to ensure the interviewee wants or needs the job, so they can say, “Great! We need a reliable person who needs a job, so this works out.”
Gaps in a person’s resume and career have become more common. It’s very likely that the interviewer has spoken with several candidates who have career gaps. They may have had one or two gaps on their own resume as well. So the stigma of having a gap in a resume is less of a red flag than in previous years.
How to answer “Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
While the insight Papalia provides may calm some fears, many may still wonder how to answer the resume gap question. Having an answer prepared ahead of time is still recommended. There are many reasons for gaps in a resume, but there are also some guidelines career experts recommend.
Keep it short and honest
No matter the reason for a gap in your resume, it’s better for both the interviewer and the job seeker not to dwell on it. For one, the interviewer doesn’t want or need your life story, and a detailed answer could be too personal. Secondly, the interviewee wouldn’t want to waste the limited time in the interview instead of focusing on what they can bring to the role, the job description, and the company environment.
Give a brief explanation—one or two sentences that get to the point. The best answers don’t go into unnecessary detail or leave room for second-guessing. Here are some common reasons for career gaps and stronger ways to respond:
Don’t: “I was laid off because…”
Do: “Unfortunately, I was affected by the company’s restructuring, and my role was eliminated.”
Don’t: “I wasn’t working because I was a full-time parent/caregiver and now I need a job.”
Do: “I took time away from my career to care for my young children/family member.”
Don’t: “I was fired but it wasn’t my fault because…”
Do: “I learned a lot in my last role, but it turned out to be challenging in unique ways and it wasn’t a good fit. While it didn’t work out, it was a good experience and taught me to be careful of the next role I accept.”
There may be different reasons, but overall, the advice is to keep it brief, impersonal, and focused on the positives.
Redirect the conversation to what you can offer
Another reason to keep your explanation short is to allow you to shift the focus from what happened then to what you can offer now. After your one- to two-sentence answer, spend most of your time discussing why you’re excited about the role you’re interviewing for. If it applies, share any relevant classes or certifications you acquired during your time away from full-time employment.
If you did any freelance or volunteer work during that time away, bring it up. It shows the interviewer you’ve been proactive and preparing for a full-time position rather than sitting around. It can be especially helpful if the work is relevant to the role.
Redirecting the focus to the job itself shifts the conversation back to the role rather than why you didn’t have one.
Remove the gap in the first place
Another way to answer, “Can you explain this gap in your resume?” is to remove the question entirely. Simply include a section explaining why you weren’t working during that time frame. Much like with a verbal answer, it can be brief and avoid personal details.
“Family care leave” is a valid answer. It can apply to childcare, caring for a sick loved one, or even yourself. Just be sure to make it clear that you’re ready and motivated to get back to full-time work.
Even if you were taking care of yourself… you’re a part of your family so it’s still family care leave. Also, sharing our own health issues or other challenges can activate biases in the hiring managers. We do not need to share details. ANOTHER IMPORTANT TIP: you don’t need to explain every gap. I usually say that if it’s more than a year ago or less than a year, just leave it be. #resume#cv#career#jobsearch#learnontiktok#greenscreen
Gaps in employment that are under six months usually don’t require an explanation. That said, you should still have an answer prepared if your resume includes multiple short gaps.
Eliminating those gaps preempts the question, and most interviewers will respect your privacy. It also reinforces that you’re proactive and intentional in your job search.
Those searching for work should mind the gaps, but there’s little reason to feel too tripped up about them.
If you’re a Gen X-er or a Millennial, ask yourself how many Jennifers did you grow up with? How about Brians? Stephanies, maybe? It seems like it might be time for those baby names favored in the ’70s and early ’80s to make a comeback.
After all, like most things in the world, the popularity of names is cyclical. Once something reaches its height of popularity, the pendulum swings back into another era. But if given enough time, all pendulums will pop right back with force, and everything Gen X will be “now” again.
In a recent article for The Every Mom, Senior Editor Kathy Sisson mentions the “100 year rule for baby names.” The theory goes that names re-circulate every century, and perhaps that’s now why there seems to be a resurgence of “vintage” names from the 1920s. (Think Hazel, Arthur and Evelyn.) She adds this fun fact: “Some expectant parents even wander cemeteries looking for vintage baby name inspiration on the headstones.”
But some experts claim that people are most definitely not waiting a century to bring back popular names. In a 2025 piece for Good Housekeeping, Senior Parenting and Relationship Editor Marisa Lascala specifically compiled a list of “19 vintage 1970s baby girl names that are becoming popular again.”
At the top of that list were “Angie, Deborah, Jamie, Leslie and Bonnie.” According to Lascala, “Gen X was born in a period of great change, and the baby names of the era were no exception.” Perhaps it’s the modern times we’re living in that are accelerating a need to go back to an era that felt more manageable. (This is all subjective and relative, of course.)
This seems to be quite the popular topic. On the subreddit r/namenerds, someone posted a thread entitled “’Dated’ names you think are due for a resurgence.” They expound, “A lot of vintage names are quite popular these days – eg. Henry, Theodore, Josephine. But what about names that aren’t quite old enough to be cool again that you think are due for a resurgence?
I’m thinking names around Gen X and Millennial eras, where the vast majority of people with these names are going to be between 30 and 60. Names too recently popular to be vintage, while old enough to be considered dated… some eventually will come around back into being stylish.
Do you have any bets on what presently unpopular “dated” names will be popular again soon enough?”
The OP adds that they simply love the name Todd, for example. “Controversial opinion, I really love the name Todd even though a lot of folks think it’s a boring white guy/dad name. I think it has all the makings of a popular name and I’m placing my bets it will come back in style soon. I’m also really fond of the name Heather.”
Over a thousand people chimed in on this post to share the names that resonated for them back in the day. Names frequently mentioned on the thread included “Emily, Lisa, Laura, Nicole, and Erin” for girls. For boys, “Brian, Ryan, Evan, Justin, Jeremy and Eric” came up time and again.
Of the extremely popular name Lisa, one commenter shared that in some way, it fits with current trends, at least in the UK. “Lisa fits in with current UK trends (soft, short, L + S + ee sound), but it’s pinnacle Gen X/Millennial, so won’t make a comeback for a while. I hope it does make a resurgence one day though! I’d like Cynthia to come back now that people are likely to associate it with Erivo.”
Some even recall well-loved ’70s/’80s names, but add a modern spin. “Vanessa, but call her Nessa.”
And, a few point out that some older names that seem to have disappeared for one culture are still going strong in others. Take, for example, the name Camille. This Redditor shares, “Camila is crazy popular with Latino families and Latino-adjacent families, so this wouldn’t surprise me.”
And of course, as people re-watch classic movies from the 1980s, certain names will reappear in the zeitgeist. So for better or for worse, we’ve probably got quite a few “Heathers” on the way. (And/or perhaps maybe a “Veronica.”)
I’m not a psychologist or a sociologist; I’m just a human joining my fellow humans in the cryfest. But that human identity sits at the heart of the why question, so here are nine reasons I’ve observed that people are getting emotional over Artemis II.
“A Setting Earth” taken on the Artemis II mission. (Photo credit: NASA)
We desperately need something good and wholesome right now
Let’s just acknowledge this one upfront. In too many ways, the world has felt like a horror circus in recent years, and many people have lost a bit of faith in humanity. We need some solid reminders that we’re actually okay, and Artemis II is full of them.
Apollo and Artemis unite our past with our future
The name Artemis holds poetic significance. In Ancient Greek mythology, Artemis was Apollo’s twin sister as well as the goddess of the moon, the hunt, wild places, and childbirth. The original lunar missions being named Apollo and the modern missions being named Artemis is a beautiful hat-tip to that ancient history, as well as a nod to this mission carrying the first woman to circle the moon.
The Artemis II mission feels like a bridge between our past and our future.
“The pairing of Apollo and Artemis is more than poetic,” writes Samantha Mathewson for Space.com. “In mythology, the twins balance day and night, or sun and moon. In spaceflight, Apollo represents what humanity has already accomplished, while Artemis represents what comes next.”
It reminds us of how far we’ve come, both literally and figuratively
Like others before them, the astronauts of Artemis II took some legacy keepsake items into space. Among them is a one-inch square piece of fabric from the Wright Flyer, the plane the Wright brothers used in their first successful flight in 1903.
The significance of that tiny piece of fabric can’t be overstated. To fly through the air above Earth’s surface was a major milestone in human history. Did the Wright brothers imagine us going this far from Earth when they had just figured out how to get us off the ground?
Innovation and progress require imagination, so they probably did imagine it. Just as the women who worked on the Apollo lunar program probably imagined women becoming astronauts one day.
Christina Koch becoming the first woman to fly around the Moon isn’t the only sign of progress for women in the Artemis mission, though. Women played critical roles in the Apollo program as well, but they were smaller in number and not really visible to the public. Now we have this:
Earth may feel big to us, but in the context of the universe, our planet is infinitesimally tiny. And yet, we are here, eight billion individuals making our home on this little blue marble.
Pilot Victor Glover delivered an impromptu message on Easter that reminds us of the unique reality of being human on planet Earth:
“You guys are talking to us because we’re in a spaceship really far from Earth. But you’re on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe, in the cosmos.
Maybe the distance we are from you makes you think what we’re doing is special. But we’re the same distance from you, and I’m trying to tell you—just trust me—you are special. In all of this emptiness—this is a whole bunch of nothing, this thing we call the universe—you have this oasis, this beautiful place that we get to exist together.“
Shifts the perspective a bit, doesn’t it?
The naming of the Moon crater ‘Carroll’ hit us right in the heart
Crater Carroll. A bright spot on the Moon that her kids can look up to and see Mom. What an incredible tribute.
Historic space missions are big deals. These astronauts represent all of humanity as we collectively breach new frontiers. And yet, it’s the personal relationships, our individual loved ones, the bonds of family and friendship that make us what and who we are as humans. This moment just beautifully highlighted the human in humanity, forever linking the personal with the universal.
It’s healing something in Gen X kids who watched the Challenger disaster live
There have been many space shuttle launches since 1986, but few have seen the widespread excitement and attention that Artemis II has received leading up to it. Perhaps that’s why so many Gen Xers who remember watching the Challenger explode as children were nervous to watch the launch and held our breath until the astronauts were safely out of the atmosphere.
OMG, you get it. I was watching with my son and almost started crying when the two boosters separated cleanly. I had tears well up. I told him I have serious PTSD when it comes to red rockets with boosters. 🙁
It may sound like an overstatement to call it PTSD, but watching a school teacher and astronauts we’d all been following on TV for months blow up on a live broadcast had an impact on our psyches. The shock and horror of it all, with none of the adults prepared to handle it, left a mark.
I was a news photographer in Lake Charles, La., on my day off, watching it on TV. I spent the rest of the day chasing debris and stories throughout East Texas.
I didn't breathe until after the first separation.
Until now, I didn't realize how deeply that scarred me.
But awe is often quiet and introspective. The photos we’ve seen from the astronauts on board the Orion have provided a view that we rarely get to see. Only when courageous humans launch themselves into space and look out a window do we get to see our world and our Moon this way.
Taking a few moments to sit in awe of space and our place in it can be an emotional experience. Awe-inspired existential tears are good tears.
It reminds us of what we’re capable of
Humanity has always had its ups and downs, and they often happen at the same time. But science advancements, when done for the greater good and collective progress, are some of our biggest ups. This mission is a reminder of what we can do when we work together on innovating and creating instead of conquering and destroying.
It reminds us we are one
“This is an opportunity to remember where we are, who we are, and that we are the same thing,” Victor Glover said in his Easter message. “And that we got to get through this together.”
We really are the same thing. Looking at Earth from space, there are no neatly drawn lines. There are no borders, no nations, nothing actually dividing us but rivers, oceans, and mountains.
Of course, we are complex people with diverse cultures, languages, and identities. But seeing Earth from afar makes these differences seem far less significant. Certainly, they don’t seem worth killing one another over.
Do you ever wonder how future history books will treat this time period we’re living in? What will they teach and what will they leave out? How will they analyze us? How will we be remembered?
Will they know how we collectively wept over the naming of a Moon crater? Or will that detail—the one that defines us more than any war or conflict ever could—be omitted?
I hope the beauty and humanity we’ve witnessed in this mission are remembered in the story of who we were, because it really is the best of who we are.
We live in an age of conflict. Sharp political and social divides are everywhere, and while it’s easy to theoretically write off people who disagree with us on fundamental core issues and values, the reality is that we often must co-exist with them and learn to manage our conflicts in a healthy way. Sometimes that means putting aside our differences and “agreeing to disagree.” Something it means hashing them out.
The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.
Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. Not surprisingly, she’s in high demand on news programs, conferences, and media summits these days.
How to have a constructive conversation
Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.
The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”
It shows genuine curiosity in their point of view. That’s critical to avoid someone shutting down on you.
Two men shake hands while a woman looks on. Photo credit: Canva
When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.
It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.
Look out for signs of defensiveness like blaming, criticizing, making excuses, or being passive-aggressive. These are warning signals that your conversation is veering off the rails.
Phrases you can use to avoid an argument
The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”
Here are some other phrases you can use:
“I wonder if…”
“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”
“I might be wrong, but…”
“How funny! I had a different reaction…”
“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”
“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”
Two men high-fiving one another. Photo credit: Canva
What’s the best way to disagree with people?
A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.
“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing professor Matthew Fisher at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.
The key words are “willing” and “genuine.” These phrases aren’t magic bullets designed to help you level your opponents. You have to actually, truly be willing to learn about their perspective and be open to changing your mind.
Let me know in the comments if this data rings true to you and your experience of conflict. And check out danharris.com for more from Amanda Ripley including what she has to say about “conflict entrepreneurs,”people who inflame turmoil to benefit themselves. #conflict#healthyconflict#communication#tenpercenthappier#10percenthappier
Another common tip that usually comes from the world of couple’s counseling is to stop seeing the other person as your adversary. If you can imagine the two of you on the same team versus the problem, your conversations will be more productive.
In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
Look, let’s just get it out there: It’s uncomfortable any time you have to get fully or partially naked for a medical exam or cosmetic procedure. Right? It’s natural and part of the process, but while you know that the person on the other end is a professional who’s just there to do their job, they’re also a human being. Getting naked in front of them in any other context would be extremely weird, and it’s hard to completely shut that part of your brain off no matter the setting.
It’s amazing how body dysmorphia really knows no bounds. We tend to think of insecurities as focusing on things like the flatness of our stomachs or the size of our noses. But perhaps the thing that people are most self-conscious about is the thing we actually talk about the least.
According to one study, about 30% of men are “dissatisfied” with the size, shape, or appearance of their penis. That number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vaginas. A survey done by Refinery29 showed that almost half of women had “concerns” about the appearance of their vulva.
The numbers say anywhere from a third to a half or more of all people think there’s something wrong with the way our private parts look. Which begs the question: If we all think we’re weird, is anybody really weird at all?
A fascinating Reddit thread recently polled experts on this very topic—people who tend to see an awful lot of genitals in their line of work: Waxing technicians or estheticians. The responses were oddly inspiring.
The prompt asked, “Waxers, how often are you surprised by how a clients genitals look?”
Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. As did doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and lots of other pros who work closely with people’s unmentionables.
“Gonna chime in as a doctor – and I would imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. WE. DONT. CARE. And in my case I would be surprised if you’d show me something I’ve never seen before.” – feelgoodx
“I use to be very self conscious and insecure about my genitals. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Just clean yourself before coming in.” – Wild-Clementine
Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every single day I work, often multiple, and frequently about 3 feet from my face with a spotlight on it lol. Not much surprises me. Most are out of my memory by the time they’re clothed or covered up. When it comes to genitals you want to be unremarkable.” – tlotd
“Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work.” – Important-Tackle
“never. i have seen it all. scars, hyperpigmentation, unevenness; none of it surprises me. just please wash yourself before coming to me.” – pastelmorning
“Nothing surprises me, I’m mostly just focusing on the hair, but i do have a client who has a tuft of hair on the underside of his shaft near the tip of his penis we call his downstairs soul patch.” – noorisms
Two big takeaways:
First, outside of obvious mutilations or pathologies, nothing stands out to people who are extremely knowledgeable about genitals. Differences in size, shape, and structure are totally normal and barely even register on the radar!
Second, no matter what you look like down there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends far beyond the borders of the esthetician’s office!
Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it can be.
It’s bizarre and tragic that unrealistic beauty standards actually affect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing anxiety about the way their genitals look.
Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively impacted by bad self-image and anxiety over the way they look naked. When the shame is really bad, it can hold them back in relationships, or even stop them from seeking them in the first place.
This shame or embarrassment unfortunately extends into the medical arena, as well.
Fear of being judged or humiliated can stop women in particular from not just going in for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist, getting breast exams, or asking potentially-embarrassing but critical and life-saving health questions. For their part, men are prone to skipping prostate exams, testicular exams, or conversations about potentially embarrassing topics like erectile dysfunction or bladder problems. None of these things are fun or comfortable, but they’re critical for our health!
Experts say sharing your vulnerability with your doctor or cosmetic professional can help. Letting them know you’re nervous or embarrassment can signal them to offer you comfort measures. It also helps to be really direct and detailed with what you want or what you want to discuss.
According to Cedars Sinai, “Does sex hurt? Tell your doctor exactly where you feel the pain. Notice that your poop stinks? Try to describe the odor in detail.” If you’re too embarrassed to talk about it, try writing it down. At some point though, you’ll have to get the exam. Just get through it, it gets easier once you build a relationship with your doctor (or waxer!) over time.
If you’ve ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from the people who have seen hundreds if not thousands of genitals up close and personal, in the most unflattering lighting and from the worst angles possible: You’re totally normal!
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
