More than 6 million little kids aren't making it to their fifth birthdays, and the way to make sure they do is *so* simple that you've probably already done it today. At least once. (I hope!)
It’s that time of year again, the holiday season is when we get the pleasure of spending way more time than we’re used to with our families. For those of us who’ve moved away from our immediate families, the holidays are a great time to reacquaint ourselves with old traditions and to realize that some of them may be a little strange.
Every family seems to have its own brand of weirdness. In fact, I wouldn’t trust anyone who says that their family is completely normal.
On November 18, “The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon gave everyone a reason to celebrate their unique families by asking them to share their favorite stories under #MyFamilyIsWeird. The responses were everything from odd holiday traditions to family members that may have a screw (or two!) loose.
Here are 17 of the funniest responses.
At Thanksgiving, my family sings “Rock The Boat” every single time we pass the gravy boat from one person to the next. #MyFamilyIsWeird— PDB435 (@pdb435) November 23, 2021
Could this be because someone spilled the gravy boat years ago and no one wants to eat dry turkey or potatoes again?
When I was just starting high school my older brother rode the bus with me, he bent over to pay and get off the bus when he split his shorts down the middle, no underwear on for everyone to see, he turned to me and said, I get to wear the underwear tomorrow...#MyFamilyIsWeird— Ian (@TheLast_Ian) November 18, 2021
Now, that's some quick wit.
Every Thanksgiving, my family hides a sweet potato in the house. Whoever finds it first gets $20 and a six-pack of Miller High Life. #myfamilyisweird— Renee Jordan (@ReneeJordan78) November 22, 2021
Do they have to drink the entire six-pack of the "Champagne of Beers" that day, or can they take the leftover bottles home? Also, thinking about starting this tradition with my family. Who fronts the $20?
My grandmother lost her dentures once and we spent 4 hours searching the house for them before she remembered that she had put them in her bra. #MyFamilyIsWeird— Erin (@etes_97) November 18, 2021
Let's hope that grandma found the dentures herself.
I see no problem with this as long as there is enough whipped cream to go around.
My friend’s family has a massive group text, and then a bunch of smaller group texts to gossip about what happens in the big group text. #MyFamilyIsWeird— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) November 18, 2021
Nothing good ever came out of a family group text.
My family had one of those silver aluminum Christmas trees when I was growing up. One year our TV antenna on the roof blew off in a storm so my dad rigged the tree up instead. We actually got better reception. So we had a Christmas tree on our roof all year long. #MyFamilyIsWeird— DeeDee SMITH 🌊 #GetVaccinated (@DeeDee_SmithTN) November 25, 2021
That works better than any coathanger or bunny ears that people used back in the day to improve their TV reception. Now, can the Christmas tree pick up HBO?
My mom will always watch a new series by starting with the final episode, and then pretend like she knew the plot the whole time. #MyFamilyIsWeird— Elise//209 days (@elise_millsssss) November 18, 2021
I wonder how long it took for the family to figure out that she was cheating? Does she also read the last chapter of a mystery novel first?
My parents come from a country where it was the culture to not smile in photos, and thought the same applied here. So I have many childhood photos from happy occasions like birthdays, where we are all staring blankly into the camera like the Village of the Damned #MyFamilyisWeird pic.twitter.com/2egtQCMJWl— Dumb Jokes Only (@DumbJokesOnly) November 18, 2021
That has to be freaky, especially if they are taking photos with members of the family that were born in the U.S. and some are smiling and others are not.
My mom once hung AND filled an extra stocking from the fireplace… for my boyfriend. I was single at the time. She said it was for if I happened to get one in the couple of weeks leading up to Christmas. Way to rub it in, mom. #myfamilyisweird— EmmyAnn (@EmmyAnn412) November 18, 2021
Wow. Imagine how annoying her mother gets after she gets a boyfriend and then immediately starts asking for kids and hanging little stockings up by the fireplace.
That's freaky, he looks like the Headless Horseman or Jack Pumpkinhead from "Return to Oz."
When I was younger my mom would always try to set me up with my college professor dad’s physics students. I finally said no, they wear plaid pants! Then my grandmother said “it’s not what they look like in their pants, it’s how they look without them” 😳😖 #myfamilyisweird— Steel Cowgirl (@Steelcowgirl) November 18, 2021
Eww. Grandma, that's gross. Get your mind out of the gutter.
My Dad, when I was little, found a wild pine tree to use as a Christmas tree, but when he brought it in, it was too big. So to fix it he cut off the TOP. 😳 Wish I could find the picture of it. We laugh about it every Christmas. 😂 #MyFamilyIsWeird— Donna 🇺🇸 (@dddonnnaaa) November 23, 2021
That had to be a seriously stumpy-looking tree. How in the world did he put a star on top?
My brother decided to come out during family thanksgiving dinner. Right after the blessing - literally after the “amens” - he screamed “I’M GAY!” My mother calmly said “we know” and started cutting her turkey. #myfamilyisweird— Eleanor Semeraro (@eleanordowling) November 18, 2021
Sometimes, the entire family knows. They're just waiting for you to say it.
I had to teach my dad how to use an iPhone when they first came out. I explained to him that he had to slide to unlock the screen. Rather than sliding his finger across the screen, he stood up from the couch and started sliding his feet in the living room. #MyFamilyIsWeird— Joey Jweinat (@CosmicJoey415) November 18, 2021
"Slide, baby, slide! Slide, baby, slide!" – "Tootsie Roll" by 69 Boyz.
my great aunt collects vintage dolls.. each year she strips them & repaints them to resemble each of her siblings. She then burns them in a bonfire and sends us Christmas cards with the before and after photos of the burnt dolls.. #myfamilyisweird pic.twitter.com/DW9ksbtlcu— LUCΛ GUΛDΛGNEGRO ☻ (@LucaGuadagnegro) November 18, 2021
Oh no. Voodoo aunt needs to stop. That is totally not in the Christmas spirit.
My mom found these fall decorations that we all proudly display in our homes. Every year we send texts/post messages saying “The Corncob Cowboy rides again!”— Mirrrrrr (@MirmeeV) November 25, 2021
Many jokes ensue. #myfamilyisweird @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon #dickjokes pic.twitter.com/ouqaUd0t5V
Does anyone else think this is creepy? This is like a white elephant gift that will never go away.
This article originally appeared on 01.22.19
People have big feelings about abortion, which is understandable. On one hand, you have people who feel that abortion is a fundamental women's rights issue, that our bodily autonomy is not something you can legislate, and that those who oppose abortion rights are trying to control women through oppressive legislation. On the other, you have folks who believe that a fetus is a human individual first and foremost, that no one has the right to terminate a human life, and that those who support abortion rights are heartless murderers.
Then there are those of us in the messy middle. Those who believe that life begins at conception, that abortion isn't something we'd choose—and we'd hope others wouldn't choose—under most circumstances, yet who choose to vote to keep abortion legal.
It is entirely possible to be morally anti-abortion and politically pro-choice without feeling conflicted about it. Here's why.
No matter what you believe, when exactly life begins and when “a clump of cells" should be considered an individual, autonomous human being is a debatable question.
I personally believe life begins at conception, but that's my religious belief about when the soul becomes associated with the body, not a scientific fact. As Arthur Caplan, award-winning professor of bioethics at New York University, told Slate, “Many scientists would say they don't know when life begins. There are a series of landmark moments. The first is conception, the second is the development of the spine, the third the development of the brain, consciousness, and so on."
But let's say, for the sake of argument, that a human life unquestionably begins at conception. Even with that point of view, there are too many issues that make a black-and-white approach to abortion too problematic to ban it.
One reason I don't support banning abortion is because I've seen too many families deeply harmed by restrictive abortion laws.
I've heard too many stories of families who desperately wanted a baby, who ended up having to make the rock-and-a-hard-place choice to abort because the alternative would have been a short, pain-filled life for their child.
I've heard too many stories of mothers having to endure long, drawn out, potentially dangerous miscarriages and being forced to carry a dead baby inside of them because abortion restrictions gave them no other choice.
I've heard too many stories of abortion laws doing real harm to mothers and babies, and too many stories of families who were staunchly anti-abortion until they found themselves in circumstances they never could have imagined, to believe that abortion is always wrong and should be banned at any particular stage.
Most people's anti-abortion views—mine included—are based on their religious beliefs, and I don't believe that anyone's religion should be the basis for the laws in our country. (For the record, any Christian who wants biblical teachings to influence U.S. law, yet cries “Shariah is coming!" when they see a Muslim legislator, is a hypocrite.)
I also don't want politicians sticking their noses into my very personal medical choices. There are just too many circumstances (seriously, please read the stories linked in the previous section) that make abortion a choice I hope I'd never have to make, but wouldn't want banned. I don't understand why the same people who decry government overreach think the government should be involved in these extremely personal medical decisions.
And yes, ultimately, abortion is a personal medical decision. Even if I believe that a fetus is a human being at every stage, that human being's creation is inextricably linked to and dependent upon its mother's body. And while I don't think that means women should abort inconvenient pregnancies, I also acknowledge that trying to force a woman to grow and deliver a baby that she may not have chosen to conceive isn't something the government should be in the business of doing.
As a person of faith, my role is not to judge or vilify, but to love and support women who are facing difficult choices. The rest of it—the hard questions, the unclear rights and wrongs, the spiritual lives of those babies,—I comfortably leave in God's hands.
The biggest reason I vote the way I do is because based on my research pro-choice platforms provide the best chance of reducing abortion rates.
Abortion rates fell by 24% in the past decade and are at their lowest levels in 40 years in America. Abortion has been legal during that time, so clearly, keeping abortion legal and available has not resulted in increased abortion rates. Switzerland has the lowest abortion rate on earth and their rate has been falling since 2002, when abortion became largely unrestricted.
Outlawing abortion doesn't stop it, it just pushes it underground and makes it more dangerous. And if a woman dies in a botched abortion, so does her baby. Banning abortion is a recipe for more lives being lost, not fewer.
At this point, the only things consistently proven to reduce abortion rates are comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control. If we want to reduce abortions, that's where we should be putting our energy. The problem is, anti-abortion activists also tend to be the same people pushing for abstinence-only education and making birth control harder to obtain. But those goals can't co-exist in the real world.
Our laws should be based on reality and on the best data we have available. Since comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control—the most proven methods of reducing abortion rates—are the domain of the pro-choice crowd, that's where I place my vote, and why I do so with a clear conscience.
Director Peter Jackson’s new 468-minute Beatles documentary “Get Back” is a landmark achievement. It’s an in-depth, warts-and-all glimpse into the creative process of four of the most important musicians and cultural figures of the past 100 years.
The crazy thing is that’s not even an overstatement. Watching the Beatles pull tunes from the ether and then work them into some of the most enduring songs in the history of popular music is revelatory.
Like when Paul McCartney strums his way into writing “Get Back.”
Spent the weekend with #getback and loved the tedium of creativity, the riffs, the improvisations but most of all this magical moment when Paul McCartney wills the song into being. A miracle on film.pic.twitter.com/uoafI0ISla— Jonny Geller (@Jonny Geller) 1638142633
Some have criticized the film for being too long, questioning the number of times one must hear “I’ve Got a Feeling,” but they’ve completely missed the point. “Get Back” is entertaining, but it’s not entertainment. It’s a Rosetta Stone for anyone who wants to decode the process of the masters. It’s an instruction manual for taking notes, rhythm and words and breathing life into them so they move bodies, hearts and minds.
Jackson’s brilliance is that he gets out of the way and presents the narrative as a race against the clock. The Beatles have a short period of time to write, record and, possibly, perform an album. Can they make it or will simmering resentments prevent them from reaching their goal?
Watch a clip of @TheBeatles\u2019 rooftop performance of \u201cGet Back\u201d from Peter Jackson\u2019s Original Docuseries #TheBeatlesGetBack. Experience the three-part event on @DisneyPlus starting this Thursday. @johnlennon @PaulMcCartney @GeorgeHarrison @ringostarrmusicpic.twitter.com/JK3LortFP0— The Beatles (@The Beatles) 1637688600
Jackson also does the film a major service by keeping the opinions of others out. Lesser directors might have been tempted to interview other musicians to get their opinions on the historic footage.
Most importantly, the movie doesn’t have one minute of Dave Grohl explaining how the Beatles influenced Nirvana or Foo Fighters. Grohl is the undisputed king of the League of Extraordinary Rock 'n' Roll Know-it-Alls who lives to share his opinion on other musical artists in documentaries and on award shows.
Over the years, Grohl has fallen into self-parody for the number of times he’s claimed that an artist he’s discussing in a documentary or handing an award to has influenced either Nirvana or Foo Fighters.
Another way to ruin a rock 'n' roll documentary is by having an appearance by one of the other members of the League of Extraordinary Rock 'n' Roll Know-it-Alls such as Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Lars Ulrich, Questlove or John Legend.
These folks can always be counted on to give a self-important speech about an artist or band and find a way to make it about themselves.
Noel Gallagher of Oasis could also be a part of this group, but he’s usually pretty funny and self-deprecating in interviews so he gets a pass.
Appearances by the League of Extraordinary Rock 'n' Roll Know-it-Alls at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame are especially egregious because, at one point, they were all renegades, now they give speeches at an establishment for the anti-establishment.
Jesse Hawken, the host of the Junk Filter podcast, had some fun at the expense of these blowhardy rock stars with a thread that showed just how bad it could have gone if Jackson let modern musicians comment on the Beatles’ greatness.
"Get Back" was okay, I really wish they had interviewed some of today's top artists for the film. Would have liked to see Dave Grohl say that there wouldn't have been Nirvana or the Foo Fighters without the Beatles, to put the band in historical context— Jesse Hawken (@Jesse Hawken) 1638293899
"There were four guys. John, Paul, George and - you know where I'm going with this - Ringo." pic.twitter.com/seQE0VpmGC— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"Ringo, man, he was like a drum machine, you gotta remember this was -before- the invention of the drum machine" pic.twitter.com/Ze6ydRcDYG— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"They called George 'the quiet one' of the group, but when he spoke, everyone listened. Well, except John" pic.twitter.com/xQHEOGUuxV— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"When 'Come Together' starts and you just hear that guitar go 'shunk shunk doo-doo-DOO, doo', you just know man, this is The Beatles right here" pic.twitter.com/18994jHIvK— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"Helter Skelter, man, that's like the original punk song. Would we have punk rock without The Beatles? I dunno man, I can't answer that question. I don't WANT to answer that question" pic.twitter.com/uuC5ABkPa9— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"The first time I ever heard em, I must have been about 15, and 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' comes on the radio and I pulled over to a payphone and called my girlfriend, didn't even wait for her to pick up, I was like 'have you ever heard of this band The Beatles?'" pic.twitter.com/BVMxQmjTQz— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"I guess enough time's past I can admit it, right? The Beatles were a huge influence on Oasis. Huge. Those mellotrons on 'Morning Glory'? We nicked that from the Lads" pic.twitter.com/k47cexMHf7— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"Without John Lennon and Paul McCartney, there would be no Elton John and Bernie Taupin. That's the honest truth" pic.twitter.com/mvMtOpYT4W— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"The rock and roll drummer, as we know it, as we understand it, would not exist without Ringo Starr." pic.twitter.com/VL7McXqecC— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"We played a little rooftop concert of our own, ya know. Got into a little trouble with the law ourselves. I guess you could say it was kind of our tribute to the Lads" pic.twitter.com/tyXDKNpP4d— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"I gotta be honest with you, it took me a while to get into their early records" pic.twitter.com/PEzJcFPUrv— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
(plays the end of Eleanor Rigby) "This was something you never heard in the popular music of the time" pic.twitter.com/kb4bovyMz8— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"I remember thinking to myself, Pharrell, don't screw this up, you're performing one of Paul McCartney's songs...in FRONT OF Paul McCartney!" pic.twitter.com/E4wanr1F05— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
"Actually one of the songs in Hamilton was inspired by the Beatles breaking up" pic.twitter.com/klaECsUr38— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) November 30, 2021
Everything about this thread is true. Except you skipped Questlove.— Mediocrites (@MediocritesIAm) November 30, 2021