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A 9-year-old goes in on standardized tests and ends with the best mic drop of all time

When 9-year-old Sydney Smoot stood up at her local school board meeting, I doubt they expected this kind of talking to.

A 9-year-old goes in on standardized tests and ends with the best mic drop of all time



If you need proof standardized testing is setting students up for failure, just ask the students.

Sydney Smoot has a bone to pick with the Hernando County School Board. The issue? The Florida Standards Assessment Test, or FSA for short. On March 17, 2015, Sydney bravely stood up at her local school board meeting to share how she felt about the test and why she believes it's failing students and teachers.


"This testing looks at me as a number. One test defines me as either a failure or a success through a numbered rubric. One test at the end of the year that the teacher or myself will not even see the grade until after the school year is already over. I do not feel that all this FSA testing is accurate to tell how successful I am. It doesn't take in account all of my knowledge and abilities, just a small percentage." — Sydney Smoot

Can we give this little girl a medal? She was speaking right to my soul with that speech!

I reached out to Sydney and her mom, Jennifer, via email to find out more about what prompted this passionate speech.

What inspired you to write your letter?

"What inspired me to speak all started one day when I came home. My mom asked me how the testing went, and I told her I was told not to speak about the test to anyone. I had not felt comfortable signing something in the test. I had concerns about this test because there was a lot of stress put on students and myself. I was a little nervous before the speech, but when I was called up to the podium, I did not feel nervous because I knew this speech was going to help a lot of people."

Have you ever thought about running for president? Cause I'd vote for you!

"I've thought about running for president because if I'm president, I will be considerate about the people in this state."

You gotta admit, she looks pretty good up there, right?

Parents have a right to be concerned about standardize testing regulations.

One thing that really stuck out to me in Sydney's speech was that the FSA prohibits students from talking to their parents about the test. So I was anxious to hear what Sydney's mom thought about the stipulation. She had this to say:

"When my daughter came home telling me she had to sign a form stating she couldn't talk to anyone including her parents, I got concerned. Not only that I didn't like the fact that the last four of her Social Security number was on the test labels along with other personal information. In today's world of identity theft, it doesn't take much for people to get a hold of these things and use them.

I would like to tell other parents to learn more before these tests start in your children's school and know what they are testing. They have options, you can opt out so to speak, and the child can complete alternative testing if they are in the retention grades; or, if the child wants to take the test, support them and let them know that no matter how they do, it does not define them as a person.

It's a test and a poorly designed one at best."

Standardized tests are changing the classroom. And not for the better.

As Sydney shared in her speech, she and her classmates are feeling the pressure when it comes to preparing for the FSA. But they aren't the only ones. Teachers are also struggling to get students ready and are often forced to cut corners as a result.

What standardized tests also fail to take into account is that in many ways, test-taking is a skill, one that not every student is ready for. When I was in school, we spent months gearing up for the dreaded FCAT, the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test. And if months of test prep wasn't bad enough, if you didn't pass the FCAT, you couldn't graduate high school. Talk about stressful! The pressure of your high school career rides on one test, combined with the fact that standardized tests don't accurately measure what students have learned. Plenty of capable students fail these tests due to increased anxiety and stress. If high school students are struggling to handle the pressure of standardized testing, imagine how difficult it must be for elementary school students like Sydney!

Young Sydney is a testament to how important it is that we listen to students and create curriculum that challenges and educates them, rather than scaring them into "learning." I think Sydney's suggestion of three comprehensive tests throughout the year makes way more sense than one big statewide test that interferes with teachers' schedules and stresses students out. And let's be real, when's the last time you heard a kid ask for MORE tests?! Clearly standardized tests aren't the answer or at least need some serious work. Hopefully Sydney's message will make an impact and get her school board and schools across the nation to rethink how we measure students' success.

This article originally appeared on 03.27.15

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.


How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay is notorious for having a bit of a temper on his shows “Hell's Kitchen” and “MasterChef.” But that doesn’t mean he can’t have a big heart, too.

Ramsay was being interviewed on the BBC's "The Radio 2 Breakfast Show" in 2022 when kitchen manager Tina Clarke from Edward Peake Middle School in Biggleswade, Bedfordshire, England jokingly called in to ask for help. She said she was "cooking on her own here" because two of her co-workers were out sick.

She had to prepare 300 meals for the students while short-staffed.

"I'm cooking here on my own, I work in a school kitchen and my chef has gone off sick and I have another one off with COVID, and I just wondered if Gordon would help me today and give me a hand?” Clarke asked jokingly.


To her surprise, Ramsay agreed to help. "If I did have the time I would be in Bedfordshire, I promise you in a heartbeat, I can send a chef if you wish?" he asked.

How could Clarke refuse the help of a chef that works with Gordon Ramsay?

Ramsay called a cab and sent over a member of his team, chef Rob Roy Cameron from Ramsay's Lucky Cat restaurant in London, to help. Lucky Cat is in a wealthy neighborhood and is known for Asian-inspired small plates and sushi.

Clarke had no idea that Ramsay would send help so she was a little worried the school administration wouldn’t be too pleased with her inviting a stranger into the kitchen without permission. But she couldn’t have known that Ramsay would say yes to her half-hearted plea.

"When I got a message saying your chef will be with you in an hour, I thought, 'Oh my God, I'm going to have to fess up to the head and I hope she doesn't give me detention or lines,'" she admitted.

However, the headteacher, Miss Linington, said it was fine with her and a jolt of excitement went through the halls of the school. When Cameron arrived, Clarke put him to work immediately making cauliflower cheese. "I'm sure he was terrified by having three menopausal women around him in the kitchen all day," Clarke joked.

Clarke said that the food tasted “amazing” even though Cameron was shocked to learn he couldn’t use any salt. The students were happy about their visitor, too. "The kids were so excited,” Clarke said. "We've never had so many visitors [in the kitchen],” Clarke said.

The next day, Clarke got the chance to personally thank Ramsay on the radio. "It sent a huge buzz around the school. So, thank you," she said through a pretaped message. She also thanked “her loyal staff," Andrea, Mandy, Sharon and Louise.

"Anytime, Tina," Ramsay responded.

Ramsay’s generosity shows that when you have a true love of food and cooking, a kitchen is a kitchen, whether you’re preparing a meal at a 5-star Michelin-rated restaurant or you have hundreds of hungry students to feed.

This article originally appeared on 3.31.22

Modern Families

Do you have a "living room family" or a "bedroom family"?

This 'debate' is all the rage on TikTok. But one is not better than the other.

alexxx1915/TikTok

TikTok user alexxx1915 recently posted a short video with the caption: "I just learned the term 'living room family' and I never understood why my kids never played in their rooms when I always did as a kid."

She briefly shows her kids hanging out in the living room with their pet dog and some toys scattered around the floor, before panning to her own face and giving a sort of sentimental look. The simple, ten-second clip struck a huge nerve with parents, racking up over 25 million views and thousands of heartfelt comments.






@alexxx1915

#livingroomfamily #fypシ

What are "living room families" and "bedroom families"?

This idea has been going around for a while on social media.

Simply put, a living room family is a family that congregates in the living room, or any common space in the household. Kids play in the same space where the adults relax — and things are often messy, as a result. Everyone interacts with each other and spends lots of time together. Bedrooms are reserved mostly for sleeping and dressing.

A bedroom family, on the other hand, is where the kids spend more time in their rooms. They play there, watch TV, and maybe even eat meals. Typically, the main rooms of the house are kept neat and tidy — you won't find a lot of toys scattered about — and family time spent together is more structured and planned ahead rather than casual.

"Living room families" has become the latest aspirational term on TikTok. Everyone wants to be a living room family!

The implication of being a bedroom family, or having 'room kids', is that perhaps they don't feel safe or comfortable or even allowed to take up room in the rest of the house, or to be around the adults.

"I remember my brother coming round once and he just sat in silence while watching my kids play in livingroom. After a while he looked at me and said 'It's so nice that your kids want to be around you'" one commenter said on alexxx1915's video.

"I thought my kids hated their rooms 🥺 turns out they like me more" said another.

"You broke a generational curse. Good job mama!" said yet another.

There's so much that's great about having a family that lives out in the open — especially if you were raised feeling like you had to hide in your room.

In my own household, we're definitely a living room family. We're around each other constantly, and the house is often a mess because of it. Learning about this term makes me feel a little better that my kids want to be around us and feel comfortable enough to get their 'play mess' all over the living room.

The mess is a sign of the love and comfort we all share together.

But the big twist is that it's also perfectly fine if your kids — and you! — like a little more solitary time.

boy playing with toys on the floorGavyn Alejandro/Unsplash

Being a 'bedroom family' is actually perfectly OK.

There's a similar discourse that took place last year about living room parents vs bedroom parents. The general consensus seemed to be that it was better to be a living room parent, who relaxed out in the open versus taking alone time behind closed doors.

But it really doesn't have to be one or the other, and neither is necessarily better.

Making your kids feel relegated to their room is, obviously, not great. It's not a good thing if they feel like they're not allowed to exist in and play in the rest of the house.

But if they just like hanging out in their room? Nothing wrong with that at all! And same goes for parents.

Alone time is important for parents and kids alike, and everyone needs different amounts of it to thrive.

Kids with certain special needs, like being on the autism spectrum, may be absolutely thrilled to spend lots of time in their rooms, for example.

So are you a living room family or a bedroom family? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, as long as your family loves each other and allows everyone to be exactly who they are.

Popular

In just 40 seconds, Matthew McConaughey made the heartbreaking case for gun safety

"She wore these every day, green Converse with a heart on the right toe."

Twitter/WhiteHouse.gov

Matthew McConaughey speaks at the White House about gun safety.

Maite Rodriguez was only 10 years old when she was senselessly murdered during the mass school shooting in Uvalde, Texas, that made national headlines in the summer of 2022. The Robb Elementary School student was passionate about nature. So much so that every day she wore the same pair of green Converse shoes with a tiny heart etched in ink on the toe of the right shoe.

Those now iconic shoes were the only reliable piece of evidence in identifying her body after Rodriguez was gunned down by the AR-15 style rifle that killed her and 18 of her fellow classmates.

Actor Matthew McConaughey used that horrifying and unforgettable image during an appearance at the White House, where he advocated for gun safety measures in light of the shooting that has rocked his home town of Uvalde and the nation at large. McConaughey's remarks immediately went viral across social media, with a short, 40-second clip amassing more than 7 million views in less than 24 hours. But two years later, the importance of those remarks unfortunately are just as relevant and poignant as the nation continues to grapple with gun violence.

"How can we make the loss of these lives matter?" McConaughey asked. “You could feel the pain, the denial, the disillusion, anger, blame, sadness, loss of lives, dreams halted," he added, when describing his visit to Uvalde after the shooting.

McConaughey's call for action is fairly modest. In an op-ed published in the Austin American-Statesman, the Oscar-winning actor called for commonsense reforms including expanded background checks.

"I believe that responsible, law-abiding Americans have a Second Amendment right, enshrined by our founders, to bear arms," he wrote in the op-ed. "I also believe we have a cultural obligation to take steps toward slowing down the senseless killing of our children. The debate about gun control has delivered nothing but status quo. It’s time we talk about gun responsibility."

But it is this 40-second clip that has spread like wildfire across social media in which a tearful McConaughey asks his wife Camila Alves to hold up the pair of Converse worn by Rodriguez.

"Maite wore green Converse with a heart hand-drawn on the right toe," McConaughey says in the clip, voice cracking with grief, "because they represented her love of nature. Camila's got these shoes, can you show these shoes, please?"

Alves, herself visibly shaken with grief, holds up the shoes with her head held down.

"Wore these every day. Green Converse with a heart on the right toe. Because it was the same green Converse on her feet that turned out to be the only clear evidence that could identify her at the shooting," McConaughey says.

The actor angrily slammed his fist on the White House podium, audibly moaning and muttering, "How about that," as the clip ends.

McConaughey and Alves spent the day on Capitol Hill meeting with lawmakers from both parties. The actor and activist has used his stardom to advocate for middle-ground commonsense solutions to the nation's problems, including gun safety. In both his op-ed and in comments at the White House, McConaughey acknowledged the unique reality of America's Second Amendment and relationship with firearms. Rather than shaming the concept of gun ownership, McConaughey stressed the need for workable solutions and for political leaders to put principle ahead of fundraising and reelection concerns, saying, “We can’t truly be leaders if we are only living for reelection.”

“We need to invest in mental health care. We need safer schools,” McConaughey added. “We need to restrain sensationalized media coverage. We need to restore our family values. We need to restore our American values. And we need responsible gun ownership.”

With the potential for modest but meaningful gun safety legislation making progress in Congress, it's all the more important to have voices like McConaughey's as part of the conversation, to both remind us of the urgency of the moment and that there is a way forward with consensus on bipartisan solutions to a problem that should be a priority for every parent and every voter in the nation.

You can watch McConaughey's full remarks below. And remember, there's a way for us all to come together in a way that both respects gun rights while also ensuring moments like this become part of a history where our differences kept us from coming together to find common sense solutions to challenges that impact the lives of people across this nation of every age, race, gender, background and belief.

This article originally appeared on 6.8.22

Kindness is the best kind of gift.

Charlotte Joy’s eighth birthday was fast approaching. Birthdays are often a source of unbridled joy for kids this age. Sadly, this wasn't the case for Charlotte. At least, not at first.

The young girl from Tennessee had experienced tragedy a few months prior—losing her mother, Jenny Wren, to brain cancer. Knowing a time for celebration would be more important than ever, her older sister, Chloe Sexton, tried to organize a birthday party, sending out invitations to all her classmates. Only one RSVP’d.

In a 2022 interview with Good Morning America, Sexton added that Charlotte had switched schools that year. Sexton made a special effort to “help grow a friend group” for her little sister, offering to arrange playdates for those who couldn’t come due to summer plans. "We sent out the invitations and on the back of the invitations, I made sure to mention, 'If you can't come, please just let us know.’” she told GMA.

Still … nothing.

Devastated, Sexton posted an emotional plea to TikTok onthe day before Charlotte’s birthday.

“For anybody who has a kid that they're raising, if a kid in your child's class gives out birthday invitations, just come. It's like, an hour or two of your life. Please just come," Sexton said through tears. "My little sister turns 8 tomorrow. Her birthday party is going to be this weekend. Our mom died of brain cancer 83 days ago. One—one child from her class RSVP'd. I haven't even told her that. Like why? Why? Her whole class knew what happened.”

@chloebluffcakes Just go to the birthday party youre invited to 🥺 #birthday #grief #kids ♬ original sound - Chloe

Fireworks could be heard in the background, something their mom told Charlotte “were for her” each year on her birthday, until this one. Sexton had been DIYing decorations in the garage by herself, determined to spend every night that week preparing for the party that weekend, no matter how few showed up.

Little did Sexton know that her video would be the very thing to turn their luck around.

Sexton’s TikTok quickly racked up 9.3 million views. And within hours, complete strangers offered to help. That Saturday, Charlotte's birthday was the stuff of legend.

@chloebluffcakes Replying to @chloebluffcakes thank you, from deep in my heart. Thank you alyssa, taylor, abby, cindy, libby and wveryone else who helped make this possible. You didnt just save a little girl from heartbreak, you saved something in me ♥️ #birthdayparty ♬ Paper Birds (3 min) - Jordan Halpern Schwartz

Sexton posted a follow up TikTok showing the amazing turnout. A gorgeous “Encanto'' backdrop (complete with colorful balloon arch) filled the living room. Dozens of children rode a party pony and petted a slew of reptiles. A procession of 30 Jeeps cruised down the street handing out gifts. Charlotte even got her own personalized mini Jeep! Along with many, many other gifts.

As for Charlotte, her smile never stopped.

“It was even more beautiful than I thought it would be!” you can hear her sweet little voice say in the video.

Thanks to the kindness of strangers, Charlotte and her big sis were saved from heartbreak. And though the party may be over, humanity is a gift that keeps on giving. Sexton told GMA that her P.O. box is filled “to the brim everyday” with birthday cards from folks on TikTok. Plus, both Charlotte and Sexton have made some new friends from that magical party.

Great things happen when people show up for others.


This article originally appeared on 7.19.22