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So If Her Parents Had Given Up, They Never Would Have Seen This
This remarkable girl proves the understanding of autism has a long way to go.
07.08.13
Katie Gerrard/Unsplash & NuevoJerz/Reddit
When Chris Palermo's 7-year-old daughter, Ella, said she wanted to show him something, he was expecting another painting, or a piece of writing, or something that she had built. He never expected a lengthy – and thorough — To-Do list!
However, a To-Do list is exactly what he got. Ella had created a detailed table in the Notes app to keep track of all the things she hoped to accomplish. Chris posted a photo of the list to Reddit, where it was an instant hit, brightening the days of thousands and thousands of users.
Most of us keep a To-Do list of some kind, or a running list of chores and tasks we need to accomplish.
I have one of my own just like Ella's, sitting in my Notes app right now. For the record, Ella's is way better.
I've got lists of bills to pay and administrative phone calls to make, things to fix around the house, and upcoming appointments to keep.
Ella's got dancing and blowing bubbles.
NuevoJerz/Reddit
But it's not all fun and games for this 7-year-old: The list also includes chores like cleaning up, eating dinner (always important), and reminders to 'learn something.'
However, the list is mostly fun and games.
And that's exactly the way it should be.
It's important to Ella that she never forget to:
- Sing
- Dance
- Play with dolls
- Dance again
- Take a video of herself dancing
- Take a video of herself dancing again!
- And do some writing
Now if she could only get around to painting that darn cupcake!
(How relatable is it that even Ella struggles to check off everything on her list? She even included 'Check Box' as the first item to give herself a little momentum to get through all her tasks!)
When Chris told his daughter that she was going 'viral' she said, "I didn't know I was going to get famous!" When she heard the post on Reddit got over thirty-thousand likes, she was even more excited. "So half the world liked it!"
Chris never expected the list to go viral. He just hopes people can learn something from it.
Being an adult can be mind-numbingly boring.
Our routines get stagnant, and our lists of responsibilities and Have-To-Dos get longer and longer every year. It's easy to forget to make time for things that have no productive value, things that we only do because we enjoy them.
And not just big things like planning your next vacation or meeting up with friends — although those are great, too.
"I hope [the list] gives us adults a pause and makes us think about our own to-do lists and responsibilities and the importance of having those joy-filled activities in there, too," Chris told Newsweek.
Ella's incredible list reminds us that we should be seeking out moments of joy every single day. Whether it's watching the clouds roll by, dancing in the kitchen, or learning something new just for fun.
And despite what you've been told, you're never too old to blow bubbles.
From Your Site Articles
via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)
Dino Ambrosi speaks at a school assembly.
In a 2023 TEDx Talk at Laguna Blanca School, Dino Ambrosi made a startling revelation that perfectly underlines the big question of the smartphone era: What is my time worth? Ambrosi is the founder of Project Reboot and an expert at guiding teens and young adults to develop more empowering relationships with technology.
Assuming the average person now lives to 90, after calculating the average time they spend sleeping, going to school, working, cooking, eating, doing chores, sleeping, and taking care of personal hygiene, today’s 18-year-olds have only 334 months of their adult lives to themselves.
"How you spend this time will determine the quality of your life,” Ambrosi says. However, given the tech habits of today’s young people, most of those months will be spent staring at screens, leaving them with just 32 months to leave their mark on the world. "Today, the average 18-year-old in the United States is on pace to spend 93% of their remaining free time looking at a screen,” Ambrosi says.
An 18-year-olds remaining time, in months. via TEDx
The idea that an entire generation will spend most of their free time in front of screens is chilling. However, the message has a silver lining. Sharing this information with young people can immediately impact how they spend their time.
How to get teens to reduce their screentime
Ambrosi says his work with Project Reboot through on-campus initiatives, school assemblies, and parent workshops has taught him that teens are more concerned about time wasted on their phones than the damage it may do to their mental health. Knowing the topic that resonates can open the door for an effective dialogue about a topic that’s hard for many young people to discuss. When teens realize they are giving their entire lives away for free, they are more apt to reconsider their relationship with smartphones.
“I actually don't get through to a lot of teens, as well as when I help them realize the value of their time and then highlight the fact that that time is being stolen from them,” Ambrosi told Upworthy.
A Common Sense Media study shows that the average 13 to 18-year-old, as of 2021, spent an average of 8 hours and 39 minutes a day on entertainment screentime.
“It’s important to get them to view time as their most valuable resource that they can use to invest in themselves or enjoy life and tick the boxes on their bucket list. I really want them to see that that's something they should take control of and prioritize because we're all under the impression that social media is free, but it's actually not free. We just pay for it with our time.”
Dino AMbrosi speaks at Berkeley.via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)
Ambrosi believes that young people are less likely to hand their time to tech companies for free when they understand its value. “I find that kids really respond to that message because nobody wants to feel manipulated, right? And giving them that sense of being wronged, which I think they have been, by tech companies that are off operating on business models that are not aligned with their well-being, is important.”
He also believes parents should be sympathetic and nonjudgmental when talking to young people about screentime because it’s a struggle that just about everyone faces and feels shame about. A little understanding will prevent them from shutting down the conversation altogether.
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
How to reduce my screentime
Ambrosi has some suggestions to help people reduce their screentime.
The ClearSpace app
ClearSpace forces you to take a breathing delay before using a distracting app. It also asks you to set a time limit and allows you to set a number of visits to the site per day. If you eclipse the number of visits, it sends a text to a friend saying you exceeded your budget. This can help people be accountable for one another’s screentime goals.
Don’t sleep with your phone
Ambrosi says to charge your phone far away from your bedside stand when you sleep and use an alarm clock to wake up. If you do have an alarm clock on your phone, set up an automation so that as soon as you turn off the alarm, it opens up an app like Flora or Forest and starts an hour-long timer that incentivizes you to be off your phone for the first hour of the day.
“In my experience, if you can stay off screens for the last hour and the first hour of the day, the other 22 hours get a lot easier because you get the quality rest and sleep that you need to wake up fully charged, and now you're more capable of being intentional because you are at your best," Ambrosi told Upworty.
Keep apps in one place
Ambrosi says to keep all of your social apps and logins on one device. “I try to designate a specific use for each device as much as possible,” he told Upworthy. “I try to keep all my social media time and all my entertainment on my phone as opposed to my computer because I want my computer to be a tool for work.”
Even though there are significant challenges ahead for young people as they try to navigate a screen-based world while keeping them at a healthy distance, Ambrosi is optimistic about the future.
“I'm really optimistic because I have seen in the last year, in particular, that the receptiveness of student audiences has increased by almost an order of magnitude. Kids are waking up to the fact that this is the problem. They want to have this conversation,” he told Upworthy. “Some clubs are starting to address this problem at several schools right now; from the talks I've given this semester alone, kids want to be involved in this conversation. They're creating phone-free spaces on college and high school campuses by their own accord. I just think we have a huge potential to leverage this moment to move things in the right direction.”
For more information on Ambrosi’s programs, visit ProjectReboot.School.
Divorce lawyer cries recalling case he shouldn't have won
People either love lawyers or hate them but one thing will always be true, if you find yourself in need of legal assistance, you hope to have a lawyer on your side. But no matter your personal beliefs about lawyers, they're not all out to get unsuspecting people. Many lawyers get into the profession to help people in need and are empathetic to the misfortune of others.
James Sexton is a divorce lawyer that recently sat down with Steven Bartlett on his podcast "The Diary of a CEO" to discuss what he's seen in his work. Things took an emotional turn when Sexton opens up about a case that still haunts him because according to the attorney, he shouldn't have won the case. The clip that shows Sexton becoming overcome with emotion is a small glimpse into the nearly three hour episode about the breakdown of marriages.
In this clip posted to TikTok, Sexton shares about his former client who was a pimp at the time that had been violently abusive to the mother of his children. The woman took the man to court with photographic evidence of the abuse she sustained at the hands of his client. It was seemingly a quick case that should've ended in a victory for the mother who experienced the abuse but that turned out to be wishful thinking.
All Rise Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
Sexton explains, "there was a case that I won that I should've lost. I represented a pimp, that's what he did for a living. He's in prison for a long, long time now, but at the time he had very brutally abused a woman who he had kids with and the lawyer on the other side of the case, the lawyer who represented his co-parent, his victim if you will, was very inexperienced and a judge who was very impatient."
This quickly amounts to a disappointing situation where the judge was being unhelpful to the inexperienced attorney and Sexton is left watching helplessly as the green prosecutor struggles with basic court proceedings. Since Sexton was representing the defendant, he couldn't step in to offer assistance to the prosecutor who was fumbling a case in real time.
Judge Judy GIFGiphy
"The key piece of evidence they had was a photograph of this woman's face after my client had allegedly beat her up quite badly. And getting a photograph entered into evidence is very easy but it requires a very specific phrasing," he says before sharing the exact process. "For whatever reason, probably lack of experience, opposing counsel I guess didn't know how to get a photograph into evidence. Now normally in that situation a judge will be helpful but this judge was just not in the mood."
Because the opposing lawyer doesn't seem to understand the process to submit evidence, she never properly enters the photograph requiring Sexton to object to the questioning attempted. The divorce lawyer begins to choke up when recalling how flustered the inexperienced opposing counsel was becoming.
Season 13 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"I remember looking at the judge and thinking like, 'you're letting this happen. You're letting this happen, don't let this happen.," Sexton says as his voice shakes. "She's poor. She's poor, that's why she's gonna lose. She's gonna lose because she's poor and she can't afford a lawyer and he's going to win because he can afford a lawyer that knows how to put a document into evidence and there's something really wrong about that."
People were moved by the lawyers vulnerability in sharing his emotions around watching an injustice unfold as others share their frustration with how the system works.
"In a weird way, it makes me very happy that he’s very emotional about this. Takes a great amount of empathy to put your work aside and recognize her position," someone writes.
"The way that the opposite lawyer shows more empathy then a judge is actually the worst thing that could happen to you in court," another person laments.
"It had to have taken an immense amount of bravery for this woman to even show up to court and go up against her abuser. the fact that the odds were stacked up against her like this.. heartbreaking," one commenter shares.
Episode 2 Judge GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Using the right combination of words should never be a reason concrete evidence can’t be submitted. That’s insane," another chimes in.
Being a lawyer isn't always easy and sometimes good lawyers wind up representing terrible people while being bound by ethics to do their job to the best of their abilities. It's telling that this case still haunts Sexton and while his client won in court that day with the case against him being dismissed, it may be of some consolation to woman involved that he is now behind bars.