If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.
Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.
But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.
One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.
Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)
Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"
- YouTube www.youtube.com
That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.
Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.
In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:
"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."
"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."
"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."
Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash
"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"
"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."
"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."
music video 80s GIF Giphy
"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."
Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.
Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.
As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.
This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.
Does being popular really matter?
Even decades into adulthood, most of us still remember who the popular kids were in high school, at least by face if not by name. Something about adolescent social interactions really sticks with us, and popularity (or lack thereof) is one thing that stands out in a typical high school experience. However, our memories of the popular kids last a lot longer than their actual popularity does, especially if those kids were a particular kind of popular.
Mitch Prinstein, PhD, a clinical child and adolescent psychologist, professor of psychology and neuroscience, and the director of clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, explains that there are two kinds of popularity in his book, Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships. According to his research, one type of popularity is a predictor of a long and fulfilling life, while the other is the opposite.
There's a difference between likeable popularity and status popularity.Photo credit: Canva
"Those who are popular can be two different groups," Prinstein shared with the Speaking of Psychology podcast. "You have some who are popular when they were young, and they would be the kind that we would call 'likable.' However, a different kind of popularity emerges in adolescents, which we refer to as 'status.' And those are very different types of popularity. Likeability is good, status is pretty bad."
"Likeable" popularity is found in people who have genuinely likeable traits. These traits make people want to spend time with them and trust them because they make people feel valued and included. "Status" popularity is found in people who are influential and powerful, but not necessarily well-liked. We can probably all name people from our high school days who fit each of those categories of popular, and perhaps some who overlap both. (The class president who also happens to be a really kind and caring person, for instance.)
Prinstein's analysis of the research indicates that people who are likeable popular are more likely to end up in a happy marriage with well-adjusted kids and a successful career, whereas high status popularity correlates to long-term problems with depression, anxiety, substance use, and relationship problems. In other words, the "cool" kids who dominate the social landscape with power and influence in high school often don't fare as well as the kids who are popular because people truly like them.
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Those disparate outcomes may not come as a surprise, all things considered, but Prinstein says we're living at a time when status popularity matters farther into adulthood than it did before. Like the brains of other mammals, the adolescent human brain is predisposed to look toward status because, on an instinctual level, it can mean access to more resources or mating partners. We're biologically wired to desire status popularity when we're young.
"It used to be that we would stop caring about that kind of popularity when we graduated from high school," Prinstein told Speaking of Psychology. "That's not the way the world works anymore though…things have dramatically changed in the last 20 or 30 years in ways that now make us care about status more than we ever have before."
Prinstein shared that it seemed to start with 24-hour cable news shows, then spread to reality TV and social media. In the past, we didn't have ubiquitous access to the lives of celebrities, virality wasn't a thing, and there weren't "likes" at the click of a button to feed the idea of status popularity being important.
Social media has pushed status popularity last beyond high school.Photo credit: Canva
"I'm so worried about teens today because they've lived in a world where pursuing status with a mouse click or on your phone 24/7, that's become normal," said Prinstein. "And when I worked on the book I was shocked to find how many covers of magazines for both kids and for adults are really promoting the message that we should care about our likes, and our retweets and our followers and even kids are being encouraged to say things on social media that they explicitly don't believe because if it gets them more likes or followers then it's worth it. And if you think about the message that that's sending the kids, that status is more important than actual true connections with others or integrity, that's a really really scary message."
Considering the outcomes, focusing more on likeability than status can help us all live better, more fulfilling lives. How do we do that? One way is to think about what you find likeable in other people and try to develop those qualities in yourself. Become a better listener. Support people by being encouraging and celebrating their wins. Don't brag or complain too much. Be kind and courteous. Ensure that everyone feels welcome and included when you're in a group.
Popularity isn't the ultimate goal, of course, but being likable will help you throughout your life, whereas status is a never-ending ladder that ultimately leads to nowhere. So if you find yourself yearning to be popular, pick the kind of popular you actually value and place your energy and attention there.
You can listen to the entire Speaking of Psychology interview with Dr. Prinstein here.
Michael McIntyre is a popular comedian from the U.K.
One of the struggles people have with learning English as a second language is the number of silent letters our language uses that don't seem to have much rhyme or reason. We are certainly not alone in using letters we don't pronounce, of course—French is famously filled with them, and Danish words apparently make liberal use of them as well. However, there's no question that silent letters can make language learning confusing for non-native speakers (and often for native speakers as well).
British comedian Michael McIntyre did a whole bit demonstrating what English would sound like if silent letters weren't silent. What if we pronounced the "b" in "subtle" or the "h" in "hour" or the "l" in "talk" and "walk"? When we start to pronounce the silent letters, we quickly see how many commonly used words have them, and the effect is both eye-opening and hilarious.
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When you speak a language that uses silent letters, you may not realize that there are languages that don't. For instance, this comment on the video—"As a Finn, I'm relieved to finally hear properly spoken English"— only makes sense when you know that Finnish is a strictly phonetic language, meaning the letters you see spelled out are pronounced the same way consistently. Spanish is pretty consistent with phonetics, especially compared to English, and Italian and Greek are as well.
So why does English utilize so many silent letters? As Merriam-Webster states, "Our language is a glutton, and it has taken words from an enormous number of other languages. Since we have words borrowed from languages that have different sound patterns, this results in English speakers pronouncing the words differently than in their languages of origin."
For instance, the word mnemonic has a silent "m" at the beginning, but it didn't used to be silent. The word came to English from the Greek through Latin, and the "m" actually was pronounced in it even as late as the 1800s. Over time, we just dropped it. The same applies to the silent "p" in words like "psychology" and "psalm." We used to pronounce it, and the French and Germans still do, but we've let the "p" go.
Other words came from Dutch or German with sounds that aren't standard phonetics in English, like the throat-clearing sound the "ch" combo makes in those languages (technically called a velar fricative). Words like yacht and night have that sound in the languages they came from, but since we don't do the fricative thing in English, we just dropped it.
What about the "l" in talk and walk, or would and should? In the former, the "l" affects the sound of the vowel, making it an "ah" sound instead of an "a" sound, as in "tack". In the latter, the "l" used to be pronounced, at least in the 1500s in refined speech, but at some point got dropped.
Interestingly, Merriam-Webster says could appears to be an anomaly among the -oulds, though: "It seems likely that could didn’t have the L in either spelling or pronunciation; notice that its root, can doesn’t have an L whereas shall and will (the roots of should and would) do. The thought is that the L in could was later added by analogy—rightly or wrongly—to make it better match with would and should."
Funny how language works.
How about knife and gnome? Apparently, those were pronounced several hundred years ago, but over time, people just stopped. There's not always a clear logical reason for such changes—sometimes it's just easier, and when enough people do it, a collective shift in pronunciation occurs. The same applies to the "w" in "wrap" and "write." They used to be pronounced, but isn't it just much easier on the lips to not form the "w" first when the sounds just blend together anyway?
There are a lot of letter sounds we don't say in English. Giphy
And yes, we also borrowed from the famously silent-letter-friendly French, as seen in words like receipt, debt, and indict. However, as Merriam-Webster points out, "These words entered English from French in the medieval period, but later scholars recognized their Latin origins and stuck in the missing p, b, and c, just to make the etymological relationship completely explicit. The way we pronounce these words to this day reflects their French heritage (while their spelling reflects their more distant Latin roots)."
One more fun fact: every letter of the alphabet is silent on occasion in the English language.
So there you have it. That's why silent letters abound. English is a mutt language in many ways, which has given us the delightful quirks and inconsistencies that make it a challenge to learn but oh so fun to joke about.
We have finally gotten to this age.
Kids today don’t use words like “lame” to let you know when something’s uncool. No, no, no. Instead, they’ll say, “That’s so cringe.” Or more likely, they’ll type it as a comment on TikTok, because let’s face it, that’s where most conversations happen nowadays.
But you know what? One of the most incredible things about getting older is that you care less and less about what younger folks consider cringey.
Just take it from millennials, who have notoriously been on the receiving end of condemnation from every generation—be it the Gen Xers and baby boomers calling them entitled weaklings, or Gen Zers making fun of their side parts. Now Gen Y is all grown up, baby, and that means we don’t really care what anyone thinks! It also means that in our old age, certain beliefs are bound to just stick, even if they do become the next wave of “get off my lawn!”
Recently, millennials on Reddit were encouraged to “unite globally on these petty issues” by listing the silliest "cringe but correct" practices of their generation that were worth maintaining, no matter how often they’re ridiculed:
LOLS. They’re here to stay 😂
LOLs are harmless! media1.giphy.com
“I will forever maintain that using ‘LOL’ for anything that is not actually funny is an essential form of emotional regulation. The LOL isn't a laugh; it's a silent scream. It means, ‘I acknowledge this, I'm slightly annoyed, but I am responding with a pleasant, non-threatening digital sigh.’ It is the most valuable punctuation mark we have, perfectly capturing nuanced, passive-aggressive resignation.”
Other millennials were inclined to agree…
“lol is the most dynamic word/acronym that we have added to humanity. Way underrated lol”
“Millennials use ‘lol’ the way they used to use ‘stop’ in telegrams lol”
So is the “Millennial Pause.”
“The Millennial Pause is functionally useful, since it allows the viewer to orient to the video before you start talking. Seriously, how many videos have you had pop up that start talking before your brain says ‘oh, this guy is saying something,’ and you miss the first sentence?”
Millennials are going to wholeheartedly like things, and you can’t stop them.
Without enthusiasm, what are we even doing? media4.giphy.com
This might not be a millennial-specific thing, but rather a phenomenon that occurs as you get older and realize that the world is a vast and complex place, where you can almost always find a tribe of similarly impassioned people. Still, we’re claiming it.
“Unabashedly enjoying things and not being paralyzed by fear of being cringe.”
“My Z nieces try to bully me for enjoying things/being earnest, and it doesn’t work. I enjoy doing things I enjoy, and also say/emote what I am thinking/feeling without worrying about if I’m being cool or detached or ironic enough. I survived millennial middle school. You can pry my hard-won, unabashed sense of self from my cold, dead hands.”
“IT'S NICE TO LIKE THINGS! Seriously, surround yourself with people who won't judge you for authentically liking the things you like. Anyone else doesn't matter. They'll at some point. We all did.”
Not succumbing to fashion trends
Side parts are synonymous with timelessness. media3.giphy.com
Keep your coquette looks and insert literally any word-core. We don’t need or want it.
“My side part stays.”
(Apparently, side parts are cool again anyway. Further reason to just stick to what feels right—it will become in vogue again eventually.)
“I’ve spent a lifetime cultivating a wardrobe of flannels, jeans, and boots, I ain’t changing now.”
“You can pry my ankle and no-show socks off my cold, dead feet; there's no way in hell I'm going to go rocking a crew-sock farmer's tan just because you dumbass kids insist on dressing like my grandpa going golfing.”
“Once Gen Z guys start discovering their leg hair awkwardly disappears at the exact height they pull their tube socks up to they'll have realized their mistake.”
“Flared leggings aren’t a thing. If they have a flare they aren’t leggings. Yoga pants they are yoga pants and will always be yoga pants.”
“I will never give up comfort camisoles. If I ever have only one layer on, I have been replaced by a pod person.”
Not everything has to be high tech…
Unless we can get teleportation, we can maybe slow things down a bit. media3.giphy.com
“Stating your number when leaving a voicemail. Double points if you do it at the beginning and again at the end.”
“Big decisions and purchases are on big screens. Not my phone. How else am I going to open 50 different tabs for reviews and price comparisons?”
“Until one streaming service has every movie or show made and is readily available at all times, I will continue to collect and keep DVDs/Blu Rays of movies and shows I want to watch.”
“Not everything needs to be smart. I don’t need a smart windshield, smart glasses, a smart watch…I have a phone and a tv. That covers my needs.”
“The most useful tools ever created do not require an internet connection or a battery.”
“Paper menus are the correct way to order food when dining in. I am not scanning a QR code.”
…including cars
Cars don't need to be computers. They can just be cars. media4.giphy.com
“Screens in cars are ugly give me knobs and buttons.”
“They also seem more dangerous! Like, I should be able to feel around. If I have to look then My eyes aren’t on the road!”
“Better yet, give me the same exact layout across all makes/models for things like headlights and wipers. Nothing gets me frazzled like not knowing how to turn on basic safety functions because I had to use our fleet vehicle at work, or borrow someone’s car.”
“Cars peaked in the mid 90s to mid 00s. Now they're all ginormous, look the same, everything is an SUV with too many screens and sensors and computers to cost a fortune when they break. Power windows were the most technology needed. We used to have fun colors, makers experimented with new and weird body styles. I miss seeing station wagons everywhere.”
On that note, IRL purchases > online
Cher got it right. media1.giphy.com
“I refuse to buy everything online. Sometimes, you need the in-person store experience, so you can see how stuff actually looks and feels. I don't want a nice looking but scratchy af blanket or the painting that looked a different color online. I definitely don't want to wait weeks while I return it and get a refund to order another elsewhere and potentially have the same thing happen again. I just want to go to the store, buy it, and be done with it already.”
“Video rental stores are cool and good. Sure Netflix, Hulu, whatever HBO's service has been renamed to this week are more convenient but the simple joy of convincing my parents I needed to rent Richie Rich again is peak childhood.”
We WILL be using what we learned in grammar school. Unironically. Thanks so much.
Oxford commas are accurate, true, and correct. media2.giphy.com
“I will murder anyone who comes for my Oxford comma.”
“Idc what the cool kids are doing these days I am using capital letters.”
We still believe in dancing like nobody’s watching
If you don't wave your hands in the air, how will they know you don't care? media4.giphy.com
“I’m not doing that corny, lackadaisical, give them nothing dance that Gen Z does on TikTok to make themselves look like they are cool because they don’t care enough, I’m shaking my ass despite me never really learning how to. I don’t know why Gen Z is so scared of humiliation, but I’m glad that was never us.”
“I’m gonna put my hands in the air when I dance. Especially at a concert. Going to concerts where people’s hands are only in the air when they are holding their phones is crazy to me!!”
Finally, certain nostalgic bits of pop culture will have a forever home in our hearts
Sailor Moon was THE icon of our generation. Period. media4.giphy.com
“The OG Sailor Moon intro had no business being that catchy. It hits different.”
“‘Appointment’ television was more fun. Getting a good cliffhanger and having a week to talk about it with your friends before the next episode and you didn't have to deal with some jackass who has no life and binged the whole thing on 2x speed the second it was released. Waiting until September, when all the new shows and seasons would premiere. Fewer weird multi-year delays between seasons.”
There you have it. Go forth, millennials, and be your cringiest, most unabashed selves. Because no matter what generation you hail from, you only live once. Or YOLO, as we like to say.
