Woman's rant to have less mom influencers on social media is so spot on
"Most of us are not living these aesthetic perfect lifestyles."

Woman calls for less mom influencers on TikTok
The curated perfection of social media—where every room, outfit and activity feel plucked straight out of a Pinterest board—can be a soothing escape from the messiness of real life.
But let’s face it—it’s easy to get oversaturated in this type of content. And after being constantly inundated with spotless kitchens and flawless faces and endless matcha-favoring morning routines, the aspirational easily becomes aggravating.
The rise of momfluencers can be a prime example of this. Sure, many mommy bloggers offer really helpful tips, product suggestions and doses of inspiration to their followers. But at the same time, they do push an ideal that doesn’t acknowledge the messy, chaotic reality that most moms experience everyday.
And that is exactly what one mom is fed up with.
A woman named Elle (or @elledotmo on TikTok) recently shared how she was particularly tired of scrolling through her TikTok feed and finding nothing real, especially considering the app used to “be for people just being themselves and telling the truth about their lives.”
Here is what she'd like to see more of instead.
“I, as a mom, want to see people doing realistic mom things. I want to see what it's like for you to like conquer the mountain of laundry that has been you know piling up for weeks, and you have literally no idea how you're going to do it. Maybe you don’t even finish it, but that's relatable because most of us don't,” she said.
Another request: non aesthetic kitchens. Why? “Because even though we like to be minimalist there’s stuff everywhere all the time. Because who has time to wash the dishes, dry them, and actually put them away instead of just letting them sit on a dry mat on your counter for like a day and half?” Preach.
@elledotmo #stitch with @Nikki | inner thoughts only totally agree. #deinfluencing #nonaesthetic #nonaestheticmom #momvibes #momsover30 #momsbelike ♬ original sound - ✨ Elle ✨
Also: parents who have to get “creative” with their date nights since they don’t have family members to watch the kids, chaotic mornings of trying to get the kids ready for school and minivans covered with cracker crumbs.
The reason behind Elle’s desire isn’t to see “struggle or negativity” instead she explains. Rather, she feels that having relatable content is just as important.
“Most of us — due to the economy or just due to life stage that we're in — are ... not living these aesthetic perfect lifestyles where everything's all soft and cozy and sounds nice and looks nice and smells nice all day. Most of us are just trying to figure out how to, like, survive in our routines the way that they are,” she says in the clip.
To that end, Elle doesn’t want to do away with mom influencers entirely, nor does she think they will ever go away. But she does think there can be a compromise.
“It would be great to see like people realistically showing us how that they're doing that in ways that maybe we can make small tweaks in our lives to do it too or so that we can just like relate to one another and encourage one another,” she posits.
She definitely has some valuable points. And she’s clearly not the only one to want this type of content. Messy house tours have gone viral just as easily as videos of professionally designed homes. People want to be able to be inspired, but also feel seen. Luckily the internet is vast, and can cater to both needs.
- Actress Julia Fox shares a tour of her cluttered NYC apartment, and it's a relatable mess ›
- Mom offers a tour of her 'average middle-class house' and it's just what people needed to see ›
- A mom mentioned she played the fiddle so the bar band handed her one. She totally shredded. ›
- Mom wonders where all the middle class moms have gone - Upworthy ›
- Mom influencers are not showing their children on the internet - Upworthy ›
- A 4th state just passed laws protecting 'child influencers' from their own parents - Upworthy ›
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.