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pronouns

Identity

Simple ways to support your trans friends when they come out.

If someone trusts you with news that they're trans, there are a few key do's and don'ts you should follow.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Some tools to help us stand beside people we love and support.

For many gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people, one of the most personal (and sometimes scary) experiences they'll go through is the "coming out" process.

Coming out means telling others of your status as an LGBTQ person. As society is becoming more accepting of people's sexual orientation and gender identity, coming out is getting easier all the time. Even so, for many, it's still a carefully calculated process that involves planning who, how, and when to tell people in their lives.

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Identity

Church of England is considering switching to gender-neutral pronouns for God

The church announced that it could be breaking away from its tradition of referring to God as "he."

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The Church of England announced that it was considering adopting more inclusive language when refering to God.

Is God male? Female? Both? Neither? In Christian scripture, the answer is not so cut and dried. God is often referred to as the Heavenly Father who created man in “his” image. At the same time, other parts of the Bible contradict that notion, indicating that God is equal parts masculine and feminine, being the sum total and creator of all things. One could also say that God is neither male nor female, again considering that, in being everything, God is not limited to what distinguishes humans from one another.

It’s because of this nuance that the Church of England announced that it would be considering dropping the use of “he” and “him” and instead adopting gender-neutral pronouns.

According to The Guardian, the Rt. Rev. Dr. Michael Ipgrave, Bishop of Lichfield and vice-chair of the commission behind this change, argues that while this breaks traditional teachings, the church had already been “exploring the use of gendered language in relation to God for several years.”

No specifics of the project have been revealed.

Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash

The project comes in response to Rev. Joanna Stobart, vicar of Ilminster and Whitelackington in Somerset, who asked the synod to provide an “update on the steps being taken to develop more inclusive language” used in prayer, especially for those who "wish to use authorized liturgy and speak of God in a non-gendered way.”

While specifics of this campaign remain unclear, there has already been pushback, particularly at the possibility of removing the term “Our Father” from The Lord’s Prayer. The Telegraph reported that the Rev. Dr. Ian Paul asserted that it would change the messaging to something not "grounded in the scriptures".

“‘Father’ can’t be substituted by ‘Mother’ without changing meaning, nor can it be gender-neutralized to ‘parent’ without loss of meaning,” he said.

Still, a spokesperson for the Church of England countered, “This is nothing new. Christians have recognized since ancient times that God is neither male nor female, yet the variety of ways of addressing and describing God found in scripture has not always been reflected in our worship.” This interest in exploring new language is therefore a way to further align values.

While the concept of using gender-neutral language might be relatively new for English speakers, other languages around the world have used non-gendered pronouns for centuries. English itself is a language comprised of several mother tongues and is constantly evolving—hence why it has so much variety. So perhaps this change is merely an example of what the English language naturally does, what it has always done.

Either way, it’s an interesting example of how language is merely a tool to put a name to that which is intangible—a tool that can change depending on its purpose. In this case, it's being used to define arguably the most intangible thing in the universe.

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Jennifer Lopez gets it when it comes to queer-inclusive language.

Jennifer Lopez is a global superstar, an award-winning singer, a leading lady on the big screen — and also a "super proud auntie" too.

The ever-busy entertainer, currently starring in NBC's "Shades of Blue" and judging acts on "World of Dance," shared a photo of her sister's child, Brendan, on Instagram earlier this week.

The pic's caption is drawing praise from adoring fans near and far.

"This is Brendan my sister Leslie's second child!!" Lopez wrote. "They were the one person selected to represent their school at [the Global Young Leaders Conference] in Washington DC!!! And I couldn't be more proud!!!"

Lopez's post, which has reached millions of people around the world, isn't just cute — it's also important.

Many commenters are applauding Lopez for using gender-neutral terminology, likely preferred by Brendan, in her post.

The caption is absent of gendered words in reference to Brendan, as Lopez adheres to terms like "person," "they" and "their" (instead of "boy" or "girl," "niece" or "nephew," or "his" or "her").

Commenters noticed.

"She's using a gender neutral pronoun," one follower wrote alongside a smiley face, tagging a friend so they'd see the post as well. "Pronouns for the win," one user chimed in. "Sending mucho queer love Brendan's way," added another, ending their comment with a line of colorful rainbow hearts.

Lopez accepted the Ally for Equality Award from the Human Rights Campaign, a leading LGBTQ advocacy group, in 2013. Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images.

Lopez’s post demonstrates how simple it is to respect someone's identity and use preferred pronouns. Because really, it shouldn't be a big deal to do so.

Like most things, gender isn't so black and white, and more and more Americans are understanding the nuances in how we all identify.

While most people are considered cisgender (that is, their gender identity corresponds with the sex they were assigned at birth), many others identify outside of what's considered the binary; they don't identify explicitly as a man or woman (or boy or girl).

Many people who identify outside the binary prefer gender-neutral terms, like the ones Lopez used in her Instagram post. And while using "they" instead of "he" or "she" may seem like a subtle and insignificant difference to some of us, it's a very important distinction — one that will hopefully one day become so commonplace the internet won't be singing a celebrity's praises every time they simply do the right thing.

Notably, however, Lopez didn't make the post about Brendan's gender identity or preferred pronouns — she focused on Brendan as a person and how proud she is to be their aunt.

"Brendan is strong and smart and loving and ... a leader!!" Lopez concluded in the caption. "Titi Jenn loves you!! #superproudauntie #familia❤"

Way to go, Brendan! ❤️

We may want to know their gender or think we need to know their gender to use a pronoun, but it honestly does not matter.

Kids do a lot of embarrassing things.

They pick their noses, they tell everyone waiting in line that mom has jiggly thighs, they throw milk across the room when the mood strikes.

But there is one thing that parents can, and should, stop being embarrassed by. This question: "Is that a boy or a girl?"

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pronouns

If someone trusts you with news that they're trans, there are a few key do's and don'ts you should follow.

In 2016, writer and director Lilly Wachowski — known as co-creator of "The Matrix" series of films, "Jupiter Ascending," and "Sense8" — came out publicly as transgender.

As a transgender person, one of the most common questions I get from strangers is: "My friend or family member recently told me that they're transgender. How can I support them?"

1. Let them know they have your support.

2. Respect their identity, name, and pronouns.

3. Educate yourself — don't rely on your friend to educate you.

4. Don't gossip about them or "out" them to others.

5. Understand that this is not about you and your feelings.

Whether someone is a Hollywood director or a friend from high school, we should all have the right to come out at our own pace and in our own way.

In a unanimous decision, the court sided with a transgender Guatemalan woman fighting deportation.

The church announced that it could be breaking away from its tradition of referring to God as "he."

People wear name tags so others know their names. It only makes sense that pronoun tags are a thing as well.

Looking at the dismissive and even hostile replies to Henderson's tweet wasn't surprising — but it was disappointing.

You may say that you don't understand what it'd be like to have a nonbinary gender and that's totally OK.

Being a good ally starts with accepting people for who they are.

Jennifer Lopez gets it when it comes to queer-inclusive language.

"This is Brendan my sister Leslie's second child!!" Lopez wrote. "They were the one person selected to represent their school at [the Global Young Leaders Conference] in Washington DC!!! And I couldn't be more proud!!!"

Many commenters are applauding Lopez for using gender-neutral terminology, likely preferred by Brendan, in her post.

Like most things, gender isn't so black and white, and more and more Americans are understanding the nuances in how we all identify.

We may want to know their gender or think we need to know their gender to use a pronoun, but it honestly does not matter.

Kids do a lot of embarrassing things.

Perhaps it is time to consider another way to talk about gender with our kids.

1. Gender almost never matters.

2. Every person gets to write their own gender story.

3. Navigating pronouns is tricky.

4. It's important to validate all choices.

5. Encourage understanding, always.

Because ultimately, there is one very important message to send: