More

For decades, LGBT activists have fought hard for the right to marry. Today, they got it.

Exactly two years after the Supreme Court struck down provisions in the Defense of Marriage Act and California's Prop 8, the country finally has marriage equality.

For decades, LGBT activists have fought hard for the right to marry. Today, they got it.

On the morning of June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that marriage equality is the law in all 50 states.

In a 5-4 ruling, it ruled that state bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional.


But let's take a look at how we got here — below is a timeline of the fight for marriage equality from 2003 to 2015. Enjoy!

2003-2007: Marriage in Massachusetts and the era of the civil union.

On Nov. 18, 2003, the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that the state must allow same-sex couples to get married unless the legislature amended the state's constitution. While Vermont had legalized civil unions in 2000, this awesome decision made Massachusetts the first state to legally recognize same-sex couples as being married!

Karen O'Brien Ahlers and Michelle Joanne Blair during their wedding in Framingham, Massachusetts, following the ruling by the state Supreme Court. Photo by Douglas McFadd/Getty Images.

In early 2004, the state legislature debated amending its constitution to recognize marriage as being a union between one man and one woman. The amendment was supported by then-Gov. Mitt Romney, but luckily, it failed to become law! Marriage remained legal statewide.


Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney speaking at a press conference on Feb. 11, 2004, in support of amending the state's constitution to revoke same-sex marriage rights. Photo by Michael Springer/Getty Images.

In 2004, Maine passed a civil partnership bill. In 2006, New Jersey joined them.

During the 2006 mid-term elections, Colorado, Idaho, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Virginia, and Wisconsin passed statewide same-sex marriage bans by referendum. — bleh.

In 2007, Washington, Oregon, and New Hampshire signed civil union/domestic partnership bills into law. (Slow and steady wins the race.)

2008: Connecticut and California (kinda — Prop 8).

On May 15, 2008, California's Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. The following month, couples began to get married! Love! Happiness! Et cetera!

This picture, taken June 17, 2008, shows newlyweds Ariel Owens and Joseph Barham exiting San Francisco City Hall following the state Supreme Court decision granting marriage equality. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Unfortunately, that victory was short-lived. That November, the state would vote on Proposition 8, a referendum that would effectively undo the court's decision. Prop 8 passed with 52% of people voting in its favor, putting an end to same-sex marriage in California.

On Nov. 5, 2008, on the day after the Proposition 8 vote, LGBT individuals and allies rallied, devastated but determined to fight. Photo by Sandy Huffaker/Getty Images.

Maryland passed a domestic partnership bill into law, and in October, marriage equality came to Connecticut as the result of a state Supreme Court ruling. In all, 2008 was up and down.

2009: Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, and D.C. legalize marriage.

In 2009, three states (plus D.C.!) joined Massachusetts and Connecticut in legalizing same-sex marriage.

On April 3, Iowa's Supreme Court ruled the state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. Four days later, Vermont became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage through its legislature when it overrode a veto by Gov. Jim Douglas! That June, New Hampshire's Gov. John Lynch signed a similar bill into law. The District of Columbia Council voted to recognize same-sex marriage in December.

Marriage was on a roll!

A couple applies for a marriage license on April 27, 2009, at Iowa's Polk County Administration Building. Earlier that month, the state's Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

2010-2012: New York, Washington, and rights by popular vote.

As states like Illinois, Hawaii, Delaware, and Rhode Island passed civil unions bills into law, other states aimed higher. New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed the state's marriage equality bill into law on June 24, 2011, after narrowly passing through the state Senate.

In early 2012, same-sex marriage came to Washington and Maryland by way of their state legislatures. These victories were short-lived after the laws' opponents collected enough signatures to put the bills up for a public referendum in the November elections.

In November, voters in Maine, Maryland, and Washington voted in favor of marriage equality. For the first time in U.S. history, states voted to enact marriage equality by popular vote. Prior to this, the issue was frequently placed on ballots as a way to increase voter turnout among evangelical Christians. The tide had finally turned.

2013-2014: Down with DOMA, putting an end to Prop 8, and the marriage equality tipping point.

In May 2013, governors in Rhode Island, Delaware, and Minnesota signed marriage equality bills into law.

That June, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned California's Proposition 8 as well as Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. Section 3 was the portion of the law that prevented the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages. These rulings set off a chain reaction in the states. Big things were happening! Big things!

In June, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act and overturned California's Proposition 8. This was a major victory for LGBTQ individuals. Photo by Mladen Antonov/AFP/Getty Images.

In October, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie dropped the state's appeal of a court decision in favor of marriage equality. In November, Hawaii became the 15th state to grant marriage rights to same-sex couples. Illinois joined the club a week later, and New Mexico the month after that.


A man attends the marriage equality signing ceremony in Illinois on Nov. 20, 2013. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

In 2014, same-sex marriage came to Oregon, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Virginia, Indiana, Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, West Virginia, Wyoming, Alaska, Arizona, Idaho, and Montana by way of court rulings. Florida would join during the first week of 2015.

2015: Showdown at the Supreme Court.

As same-sex marriage bans fell one after another, it became clear that the issue was headed back to the Supreme Court for what many hoped would be a once and for all.

On April 28, the court heard arguments in the Obergefell v. Hodges case. On June 26, 2015, the ruling came back. It's finally here! Marriage equality is here!

Yes! Love! Yes.


Photo by Mladen Antonov/AFP/Getty Images.

Courtesy of Amita Swadhin
True

In 2016, Amita Swadhin, a child of two immigrant parents from India, founded Mirror Memoirs to help combat rape culture. The national storytelling and organizing project is dedicated to sharing the stories of LGBTQIA+ Black, indigenous people, and people of color who survived child sexual abuse.

"Whether or not you are a survivor, 100% of us are raised in rape culture. It's the water that we're swimming in. But just as fish don't know they are in water, because it's just the world around them that they've always been in, people (and especially those who aren't survivors) may need some help actually seeing it," they add.

"Mirror Memoirs attempts to be the dye that helps everyone understand the reality of rape culture."

Amita built the idea for Mirror Memoirs from a theater project called "Undesirable Elements: Secret Survivors" that featured their story and those of four other survivors in New York City, as well as a documentary film and educational toolkit based on the project.

"Secret Survivors had a cast that was gender, race, and age-diverse in many ways, but we had neglected to include transgender women," Amita explains. "Our goal was to help all people who want to co-create a world without child sexual abuse understand that the systems historically meant to help survivors find 'healing' and 'justice' — namely the child welfare system, policing, and prisons — are actually systems that facilitate the rape of children in oppressed communities," Amita continues. "We all have to explore tools of healing and accountability outside of these systems if we truly want to end all forms of sexual violence and rape culture."

Amita also wants Mirror Memoirs to be a place of healing for survivors that have historically been ignored or underserved by anti-violence organizations due to transphobia, homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and white supremacy.

Amita Swadhin

"Hearing survivors' stories is absolutely healing for other survivors, since child sexual abuse is a global pandemic that few people know how to talk about, let alone treat and prevent."

"Since sexual violence is an isolating event, girded by shame and stigma, understanding that you're not alone and connecting with other survivors is alchemy, transmuting isolation into intimacy and connection."

This is something that Amita knows and understands well as a survivor herself.

"My childhood included a lot of violence from my father, including rape and other forms of domestic violence," says Amita. "Mandated reporting was imposed on me when I was 13 and it was largely unhelpful since the prosecutors threatened to incarcerate my mother for 'being complicit' in the violence I experienced, even though she was also abused by my father for years."

What helped them during this time was having the support of others.

"I'm grateful to have had a loving younger sister and a few really close friends, some of whom were also surviving child sexual abuse, though we didn't know how to talk about it at the time," Amita says.

"I'm also a queer, non-binary femme person living with complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and those identities have shaped a lot of my life experiences," they continue. "I'm really lucky to have an incredible partner and network of friends and family who love me."

"These realizations put me on the path of my life's work to end this violence quite early in life," they said.

Amita wants Mirror Memoirs to help build awareness of just how pervasive rape culture is. "One in four girls and one in six boys will be raped or sexually assaulted by the age of 18," Amita explains, "and the rates are even higher for vulnerable populations, such as gender non-conforming, disabled, deaf, unhoused, and institutionalized children." By sharing their stories, they're hoping to create change.

"Listening to stories is also a powerful way to build empathy, due to the mirror neurons in people's brains. This is, in part, why the project is called Mirror Memoirs."

So far, Mirror Memoirs has created an audio archive of BIPOC LGBTQI+ child sexual abuse survivors sharing their stories of survival and resilience that includes stories from 60 survivors across 50 states. This year, they plan to record another 15 stories, specifically of transgender and nonbinary people who survived child sexual abuse in a sport-related setting, with their partner organization, Athlete Ally.

"This endeavor is in response to the more than 100 bills that have been proposed across at least 36 states in 2021 seeking to limit the rights of transgender and non-binary children to play sports and to receive gender-affirming medical care with the support of their parents and doctors," Amita says.

In 2017, Mirror Memoirs held its first gathering, which was attended by 31 people. Today, the organization is a fiscally sponsored, national nonprofit with two staff members, a board of 10 people, a leadership council of seven people, and 500 members nationally.

When the pandemic hit in 2020, they created a mutual aid fund for the LGBTQIA+ community of color and were able to raise a quarter-million dollars. They received 2,509 applications for assistance, and in the end, they decided to split the money evenly between each applicant.

While they're still using storytelling as the building block of their work, they're also engaging in policy and advocacy work, leadership development, and hosting monthly member meetings online.

For their work, Amita is one of Tory's Burch's Empowered Women. Their donation will go to Mirror Memoirs to help fund production costs for their new theater project, "Transmutation: A Ceremony," featuring four Black transgender, intersex, and non-binary women and femmes who live in California.

"I'm grateful to every single child sexual survivor who has ever disclosed their truth to me," Amita says. "I know another world is possible, and I know survivors will build it, together with all the people who love us."

To learn more about Tory Burch and Upworthy's Empowered Women program visit https://www.toryburch.com/empoweredwomen/. Nominate an inspiring woman in your community today!

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Wil Wheaton speaking to an audience at 2019 Wondercon.

In an era of debates over cancel culture and increased accountability for people with horrendous views and behaviors, the question of art vs. artist is a tricky one. When you find out an actor whose work you enjoy is blatantly racist and anti-semitic in real life, does that realization ruin every movie they've been a part of? What about an author who has expressed harmful opinions about a marginalized group? What about a smart, witty comedian who turns out to be a serial sexual assaulter? Where do you draw the line between a creator and their creation?

As someone with his feet in both worlds, actor Wil Wheaton weighed in on that question and offered a refreshingly reasonable perspective.

A reader who goes by @avinlander asked Wheaton on Tumblr:

"Question: I have more of an opinion question for you. When fans of things hear about misconduct happening on sets/behind-the-scenes are they allowed to still enjoy the thing? Or should it be boycotted completely? Example: I've been a major fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer since I was a teenager and it was currently airing. I really nerded out on it and when I lost my Dad at age 16 'The Body' episode had me in such cathartic tears. Now we know about Joss Whedon. I haven't rewatched a single episode since his behavior came to light. As a fan, do I respectfully have to just box that away? Is it disrespectful of the actors that went through it to knowingly keep watching?"

And Wheaton offered this response, which he shared on Facebook:

Keep Reading Show less

Images courtesy of Mark Storhaug & Kaiya Bates

True

The experiences we have at school tend to stay with us throughout our lives. It's an impactful time where small acts of kindness, encouragement, and inspiration go a long way.

Schools, classrooms, and teachers that are welcoming and inclusive support students' development and help set them up for a positive and engaging path in life.

Here are three of our favorite everyday actions that are spreading kindness on campus in a big way:

Image courtesy of Mark Storhaug

1. Pickleball to Get Fifth Graders Moving

Mark Storhaug is a 5th grade teacher at Kingsley Elementary in Los Angeles, who wants to use pickleball to get his students "moving on the playground again after 15 months of being Zombies learning at home."

Pickleball is a paddle ball sport that mixes elements of badminton, table tennis, and tennis, where two or four players use solid paddles to hit a perforated plastic ball over a net. It's as simple as that.

Kingsley Elementary is in a low-income neighborhood where outdoor spaces where kids can move around are minimal. Mark's goal is to get two or three pickleball courts set up in the schoolyard and have kids join in on what's quickly becoming a national craze. Mark hopes that pickleball will promote movement and teamwork for all his students. He aims to take advantage of the 20-minute physical education time allotted each day to introduce the game to his students.

Help Mark get his students outside, exercising, learning to cooperate, and having fun by donating to his GoFundMe.

Image courtesy of Kaiya Bates

2. Staying C.A.L.M: Regulation Kits for Kids

According to the WHO around 280 million people worldwide suffer from depression. In the US, 1 in 5 adults experience mental illness and 1 in 20 experience severe mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Kaiya Bates, who was recently crowned Miss Tri-Cities Outstanding Teen for 2022, is one of those people, and has endured severe anxiety, depression, and selective mutism for most of her life.

Through her GoFundMe, Kaiya aims to use her "knowledge to inspire and help others through their mental health journey and to spread positive and factual awareness."

She's put together regulation kits (that she's used herself) for teachers to use with students who are experiencing stress and anxiety. Each "CALM-ing" kit includes a two-minute timer, fidget toolboxes, storage crates, breathing spheres, art supplies and more.

Kaiya's GoFundMe goal is to send a kit to every teacher in every school in the Pasco School District in Washington where she lives.

To help Kaiya achieve her goal, visit Staying C.A.L.M: Regulation Kits for Kids.

Image courtesy of Julie Tarman

3. Library for a high school heritage Spanish class

Julie Tarman is a high school Spanish teacher in Sacramento, California, who hopes to raise enough money to create a Spanish language class library.

The school is in a low-income area, and although her students come from Spanish-speaking homes, they need help building their fluency, confidence, and vocabulary through reading Spanish language books that will actually interest them.

Julie believes that creating a library that affirms her students' cultural heritage will allow them to discover the joy of reading, learn new things about the world, and be supported in their academic futures.

To support Julie's GoFundMe, visit Library for a high school heritage Spanish class.

Do YOU have an idea for a fundraiser that could make a difference? Upworthy and GoFundMe are celebrating ideas that make the world a better, kinder place. Visit upworthy.com/kindness to join the largest collaboration for human kindness in history and start your own GoFundMe.

Chris Evans is playing the lead role in the upcoming Pixar film "Lightyear."

Chris Evans was already skilled at squeezing hearts on social media, cavalierly sharing sweet pics of his adorable dog and piano-playing videos on Instagram, as if we could just casually watch him be a near-perfect man without swooning. And now he's being even more delightful with his gushing giddiness over getting to play his dream role.

The guy is already best known as the studly Marvel superhero Captain America, so what could possibly top that? Pixar, apparently. Evans' ultimate acting dream is being in a Pixar movie. And now that dream is coming true, the most eligible of the Chrises could not be cuter in his expressions of joy.

Sharing the new trailer for "Lightyear"—Pixar's origin story about the astronaut the Buzz Lightyear toy was based on in the "Toy Story" universe—Evans wrote on Twitter:

"I'm covered in goosebumps. And will be every time I watch this trailer. Or hear a Bowie song. Or have any thought whatsoever between now and July cause nothing has ever made me feel more joy and gratitude than knowing I'm a part of this and it's basically always on my mind."

Keep Reading Show less

Cipolla's graph with the benefits and losses that an individual causes to him or herself and causes to others.

Have you ever known someone who was educated, well-spoken and curious, but had a real knack for making terrible decisions and bringing others down with them? These people are perplexing because we're trained to see them as intelligent, but their lives are a total mess.

On the other hand, have you ever met someone who may not have a formal education or be the best with words, but they live wisely and their actions uplift themselves and others?

In 1976, Italian economist Carlo Cipolla wrote a tongue-in-cheek essay called "The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity" that provides a great framework for judging someone's real intelligence. Now, the term "stupid" isn't the most artful way of describing someone who lives unwisely, but in his essay Cipolla uses it in a lighthearted way.

Cipolla explains his theory of intelligence through five basic laws and a matrix that he believes applies to everyone.

Keep Reading Show less