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mental health stigma

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Clinical psychologist lists signs that mean it’s time to seek mental health help

In the end, wanting or needing someone to talk to is just as good as any other reason.

Dr. Julie|TikTok

Psychologist lists signs it's time to seek mental health care.

Knowing when to seek mental health care is not always as cut and dry as people may believe. Many people wrestle with whether or not they should speak to a therapist, psychiatrist or even their primary care physician about their struggles. Working in mental health, it often comes up that people minimize their own struggles with the thought that someone else has it worse so they shouldn't be struggling.

This may cause people to second guess when exactly they need to seek help. Dr. Julie, a clinical psychologist, posted a video on her TikTok page in order to help people figure out when they should seriously consider going to see a therapist. Some people may be surprised by the signals that indicate a need for therapy.

In the video, which has over 33k likes, Dr. Julie acts out different scenarios without speaking as what she's experiencing in those moments floats above her head in text overlay.

One of the very first signs that someone should consider therapy is, "Nothing seems to help and you're starting to feel hopeless." Hopelessness can be an indicator of depression, especially if it's paired with other things like not finding joy in things that used to make you happy or sleeping more often.

Another sign that Dr. Julie displayed on the screen was, "Your mood changes have persisted for several weeks or more." Again, barring a major life event like the loss of a loved one where feeling down is expected, this can signal depression. But what's most important to know is that any time you feel concerned about your mental health, you can seek therapy.

Therapy isn't something to be ashamed of or reserved for people who live with severe mental illnesses. In fact, you could simply need an unbiased perspective, want to gain tools for moments of stress or be experiencing a life change like a breakup. As a therapist myself, I want people to know that you don't have to be in distress to seek out therapy. Going for mental health maintenance is a perfectly acceptable reason.

Check out Dr. Julie's video below:

@drjuliesmith

Seek help any time you are concerned about your #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #psychologist

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Health

Your child being diagnosed with a mental health condition is not your fault

One of the most important things a parent can do is let go of the guilt.

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Your child being diagnosed with a mental health condition is not a parental failure.

My heart dropped when I read the message from my friend. Normally the exchange is pleasant and I look forward to our conversations but before I even opened the message, the preview told me that something was wrong. All I could see was, "Did you hear about Edith's son?"

I hesitated before opening the message because I knew it wouldn't be good, and sadly, I was right. Our friend posted that she was planning funeral services for her 15-year-old son, explaining that he died by suicide. I didn't have the words so I waited days to reach out to share condolences.

It hit too close to home. I have a 14-year-old son. I've talked to my children about mental health and how it's always OK to seek help, even when it feels hopeless. I've given tools to clients and friends who are struggling with their own child's mental health diagnosis and the script remains the same, "I feel like it's my fault."

Shortly after Orion's funeral, one of my own children came to me expressing despair and with all of my training I immediately went to self-blame, still. Even though I know better. Even though my job as a therapist is to help others navigate these feelings. "It's my fault" rang in my ears. But just like I tell other parents, your child's mental health disorder is not a failure on your part as a parent. Some people are just depressed without real explanation. Some people's brains are wired a little bit differently and that doesn't mean that someone broke them or that they're broken at all.

Getting a mental health diagnosis for a child can sometimes knock the wind out of people because as parents the single most important job we have is to get our children to adulthood with as little trauma as possible. We taxi them to different sports, sign ourselves up for field trips and make sure they make it to their well-child visits. We do all of the things to get them across the finish line of adulthood. A mental health diagnosis can feel like you've somehow dropped a very important ball and oftentimes, you didn't.

person in black long sleeve shirt holding hands with person in long cream colored sleevesPhoto by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Our kids live in a completely different world than we did growing up. They're inundated with messaging on a constant basis, and even if you do your best to limit their screen time, it's impossible to escape. Social media continues to be a big driver in declining mental health among teens.

While suicide rates briefly showed an overall decline a couple of years ago, rates of suicide are highest among teens and young adults ages 15 to 24. Mental health conditions in kids such as depression, which can sometimes lead to suicide, are a heavy burden on parents, even without the added burden of guilt. Parents can talk to their children often, check in on active coping skills they're using and give them some if they don't have any.

person with smudged eyeliner holding white printer paper over their mouth with a drawn smilePhoto by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

One of the most important things a parent can do is let go of the guilt. Nothing about your child's mental health struggles says anything about you as a parent, especially If you've been doing the best you can. If you're struggling with feelings around your child's mental health disorder, you too should reach out to a therapist.

Not all mental health disorders result in a catastrophic loss through suicide, but it doesn't hurt to make sure your children have suicide hotlines saved in their phones and posted on the fridge. While death by suicide is tragic, it's also important to remember that it's not anyone's fault.

grayscale photography of woman hugging another womanPhoto by Anastasia Vityukova on Unsplash

If you can look at all you've done and can say you've provided a safe and nourishing environment for your child, I invite you to lay down the self-blame. Parenting is hard enough without beating ourselves up over things outside of our control.

If you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide or require mental health support, call or text 988 to talk to a trained counselor at the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org to connect with a counselor and chat in real time. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress as well as prevention and crisis resources for healthcare professionals.

The Trevor Project provides 24/7 crisis counseling via phone, text or chat specifically for young LGBTQ people.

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Humor

People are relating to this hilarious skit that shows what it’s like to have intrusive thoughts

A lot of us can relate.

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People are relating to this skit about intrusive thoughts.

TikTok has done plenty of things for the mental health community outside of annoying therapists with incessant pathologizing of benign human behaviors. One of the positive things the platform has done is to help push mental health awareness and normalization of mental illnesses.

Kris, who's goes by KallmeKris on TikTok, recently posted a new skit on her page about intrusive thoughts that explores what it would be like if people said their intrusive thoughts out loud. The video was hilarious and people in the comments were happy to share their own intrusive thoughts.

If you're unfamiliar with intrusive thoughts, they're these brief pop-up thoughts that oftentimes seem out of character and unrelated to whatever activity you're doing. In some cases they're related to the activity but the thought is something you'd never actually do, like tripping random children at a soccer game, just because.

If the thought of someone thinking about tripping children made you wince a bit, understand that it makes the person having the intrusive thought wince too. In the skit, which has racked up more than 4 million likes, Kris says her random intrusive thoughts out loud while hanging out with her "friend" and the friend's reaction is hilarious. The comments were full of people exclaiming they were happy to know they were normal and others answering Kris' call to comment with their weirdest intrusive thought.

Kris admitted in the comments that she feels less alone since reading the thousands of comments of people sharing their own thoughts. Check out the video below.

@kallmekris

What are yours?🫢

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Health

Therapist offers a lighthearted take on therapy, normalizing it for people of color

Therapists are more than just professionals, they can be funny too!

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Therapist on TikTok offers lighthearted take on therapy.

Therapy can be intimidating for many people, especially in communities of color, where therapy and mental health is stigmatized. This alone can delay or even cause someone to avoid a diagnosis and subsequent treatment. Often, family members of individuals with a mental health condition just learn to adjust because addressing it can be a difficult, if not fruitless task. Dr. Antionette Edmonds, who also goes by Dr. Toni and "the therapist next door," is trying to change perspectives on therapy by using humor mixed with real-life situations to show what happens behind the scenes. Her often hilarious encounters with imaginary clients gives prospective clients a chance to see that therapists are real people and are not going to judge what you come into the therapy room to discuss.

Edmonds doesn’t just talk about what clients experience, she also brings humor to what happens when clients aren’t in the room. In one video she records herself pretending to cry on the phone with her partner while a TikTok sound plays in the background saying, “I’m just literally on the verge of a mental breakdown.” She quickly hangs up the phone and puts away the tissue before going to seemingly greet her next client. Edmonds doesn’t shy away from the hard topics, but she does it in such a funny way that it remains relatable and familiarly human.

Edmonds often breaks out her dance moves to participate in TikTok trends, reminding folks that just because someone has the occupation of a therapist doesn’t mean they can’t let their hair down. Her twerking skills are up on legendary, as Lizzo would say, but while she’s grooving to the beat, you can bet that she has an informational message typed out on the screen.

Edmonds achieves a unique balance of professional, informative and hilarious. Normalizing therapy for everyone should be promoted more, but especially in communities of color where increased stigma around therapy keeps people from seeking help. Access to culturally competent affordable mental health care is also a barrier for some seeking services, as communities of color are often underinsured or uninsured.

Culturally in Black, Hispanic and Asian communities, mental health issues are stigmatized by older generations, so kudos therapists like Edmonds who work to bring normalcy to therapy to combat the cultural narrative. While Edmonds doesn't only see clients of color, her humor in approaching situations that would likely occur working with clients from an urban neighborhood hopefully sparks more interest in seeking therapy. One commenter said, "I don't find therapists like this on Psychology Today," complete with a defeated emoji, to which Edmonds replied, "We on there, Psychology Today just keep us on page 36 and not on the first 5 pages." She finished her comment with several crying laughing emojis.

@antionettethegirlnexdoor Yes, because the 1st of the month will be here soon and we need to make sure he pays the rent #blacktherapistoftiktok #therealtherapistsoftiktok ♬ umm.. yeah - andrew

In another video a commenter said, "I wish you were my therapist," while someone else commented "Listen!!! Imma need a session with you!" It's clear that her approach to incorporating her profession into her social media use is changing minds about what to expect from therapy and therapists. Therapists don't have to be cardigan wearing people who do no wrong, they can also be hilariously human.

If you’re in South Florida, you’re in luck because that’s where her practice is located. Unlike many therapists, as Edmonds confirms in one of her videos, she also weekend office hours available. Hopefully this “therapist next door” keeps dancing and laughing her way through normalizing therapy for everyone.

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