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mel robbins

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If you think the belly is the first sign if weight gain…guess again.

You know what they say…a moment on the lips, forever on the…tongue?

That phrase might not have quite the same ring to it, but it might be more accurate, according to world-renowned physician, and food scientist, Dr. William Li.

While appearing on a recent episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Li explained, “When you have too many calories and you overflow your fuel tank, the first fat that grows is inside your body. You can’t see it.”

The type of fat Li is talking about is visceral fat, which, unlike the subcutaneous fat we might see on our hips, thighs, and belly, is stored in the spaces around your internal organs and contributes to serious health problems like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers.

Li went on to say that, according to clinical research, one of the first places “anyone” starts to accumulate this type of visceral fat is the tongue. The back of the tongue, specifically. Which is described by Li as a “pillow of fat.”

This factoid helps explain why obesity and/or weight gain are often closely linked to sleep apnea. Obviously, there are exceptions. People who are considered underweight can end up having sleep apnea for a variety of reasons. But generally speaking, it’s a byproduct of gaining fat.

In fact, Li said that sudden snoring can actually be an early “telltale” sign of weight gain…since the tongue will block your airways as it naturally relaxes if it’s carrying extra fat. This all happens long before a “muffin top” starts to show.

Down in the comments, folks were fairly gobsmacked at this new information, and reeling because of how much it, surprisingly, made sense.

“It’s so interesting because if you notice if you’ve been somebody that’s lost weight and gained weight, people will complain about accidentally biting their tongue, probably because of the fluctuation that starts in your tongue! Who knew, wow totally fascinating!”

“He makes a good point because I just went to my pulmonologist to talk about potential sleep apnea and the first thing he had me do was open my mouth and stick out my tongue and immediately said, yup you have sleep apnea. Now I’m scheduled for the sleep study ”

“I heard many years ago that a Chinese medicine practitioner exercises his tongue 👅 to stay youthful! Makes sense to me now!”

It also inspired a few tongue-centric jokes…

“‘Your tongue is looking a little more full these days…’ newest way of saying ‘did you put on a little weight?’”

“So basically my gym membership should come with tongue exercises too?😂😂😂😂”

weight gain, weight loss, sleep apnea, sleep apnea treatment, visceral fat, mel robbins, dr william li Who's gonna be doing tongue exercises at the gym now? media0.giphy.com

Thankfully, studies have also shown that losing fat, and therefore fat in the tongue, can also improve sleep apnea.

In a new paper, published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine (according to CNN), researchers used MRI imaging to measure the effect a 10% weight loss would have on the upper airways of 67 obese patients. The images showed reducing tongue fat was the primary reason overall sleep apnea scores improved by 31%.

“In fact, the more tongue fat you lost, the more your apnea improved,” said Penn Medicine sleep specialist Dr. Richard Schwab, the lead author of the study.

There were a few other interesting takeaways. One, weight loss also reduced the size of certain jaw muscles and the muscles on each side of the airways, which also improved snoring. Two, the study opens up new avenues of what exercise or treatments might be done to improve tongue fat loss, such as cool sculpting (which is normally reserved for stomach fat) or even playing wind instruments in lieu of using a CPAP machine.

Basically, next time someone offers you something fattening and scrumptious but you’re trying to be good, simply say, “No thanks that’ll go straight to my tongue!”

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

Health

Expert shares how people and families can fall into the curmudgeon trap and how to escape

It starts as a fear response and becomes an exhausting personality.

Three people who ae very grumpy.

Is there anyone in your life who is negative about everything? They seem to lack joy and avoid positivity altogether. They mock people for their vulnerabilities and are always down to give you a dose of “realism” when you get your hopes up for anything. These people are known as curmudgeons and their Debbie Downer personalities can take over entire families and suck the joy out of everyone.

Why are people curmudgeonly?

Clinical psychologist, Dr. Angelica Shiels, recently broke down how people get infected with what she calls “curmudgeonitis” and how it can take over entire family identities. She says that it begins at first as an anxiety response. Because the person is afraid, they must think of potential dangers five steps ahead. But eventually, this becomes a personality type, even when they aren’t facing any threat. “So it becomes just like a personality style when it starts as an anxiety reaction,” Sheils said.

@dr..angelica.shie

#familysystems #toxicnegativity #connection #flight response #superiority #negative

Shiels says that this personality type can spread inside a family, engulfing everyone and even being passed down through generations. “This is when you have a very long line of nobody being vulnerable, including and especially the type of vulnerability that comes with being positive,” Shiels says. This personality pattern is terrible for individuals and families because it prevents people from truly feeling connected.

“Nobody connects or bonds over anything positive because that's just too vulnerable and then you don't end up having real relationship because you are depressing the life inside of you and you're gonna be ostracized if you don't go along with the chromaginitis rules of ‘we just give negative reviews’ and ‘ugh this this disgusting,’” Shiels continues.

Being part of a family or in a relationship with someone who reacts negatively to everything is incredibly stifling. If you like something, they think it’s bad. If you feel hopeful, they will try to squash it. If you think something went well, they will pick it apart. If you go to an event together, they will find a way to take the joy out of it, and if you’re looking for approval from them, it will never happen.

@dr..angelica.shie

Replying to @Grace Lawley #jung #anima #animus #rigid #neuroticism #balance #male #female #survival #creation

In a follow-up video, Shiels says people can overcome this incredible negative personality by being exposed to more creativity, wonder, and “lively flexibility,” or what Carl Jung called the anima. This can help them overcome their rigid mindset.

How to deal with negative people

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But in the meantime, before the incredibly negative person (or people) in your life can break free from their rigid ways, how do you handle all that Debbie Downer energy? Mel Robbins, New York Times best-selling author, podcast host, and motivational expert, says that you should build up your “positivity shield.” She says you should create an imaginary positive force field yourself that allows you to smile and have a positive outlook, even in the presence of those who want to take you down.

“Your positivity shield protects you from negative energy bringing you down," Robbins says. "And here's the other thing, it's kind of contagious to other people, too. So, if you're positive, if you're smiling, if you don't let somebody bumping into you bother you … you can feel something lifting them, too.”

One of the greatest gifts a good therapist offers is helping you understand things in a way that protects you from toxic people and environments. Shiels' video reminds us that when we come across negative people, we should understand that it’s a coping mechanism that has stuck around far too long and treat it as such.

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared last year.