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Robin Williams saw a struggling comedian bomb on stage. He changed her life with one sentence.

They had never met but Williams knew exactly what to say.

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Robin Williams performs on stage.

Robin Williams once beautifully said, "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anybody else to feel like that."

One night at a comedy club in Los Angeles, a new, nervous stand-up comic was called to the stage by the emcee. In one hand, she casually had a beer that she propped up on the piano. In the other, was her notebook full of scribbled, half-written joke premises and a few wine stains. She did her opening joke and the response was so quiet, she could hear the ice machine crackling in the kitchen. Joke two — a slight spattering of nervous laughter. Joke three got a heartier laugh, but then it went back to deafening quiet by joke four.

She mercifully got through her final joke, and said "That's my time" long before the red light in the back of the club even went on. She scurried off stage with her beer, like that rat in New York carrying a piece of pizza. Panicked, embarrassed, and frankly — a little hungry.

It was just one of those nights. The last time she'd done this act — same words nearly exactly — she'd received an applause break. This time, she was left questioning every one of her life decisions. Why had she come to Los Angeles? How was the next month's rent supposed to get paid? Why had she cut her hair in the "Rachel-styled" haircut?

As she was about to enter the hallway that led into the bar area, she could feel actual tears forming behind her eyes, like little faucets that were slowly turning on. "Don't cry at the comedy club," she told herself. Rather, "Don't cry at the comedy club AGAIN." But as the tears came anyway, she looked up and lo and behold, there was Robin Williams. She stuttered, "You. Are. One of my favorites. Ever." He looked at her, his blue eyes warmly crinkling and said, "You were amazing."

It hadn't been true. But the fact that he would go out of his way to make this total stranger's awful night into one of her best at that time, was just the kind of person Robin was.

I know this because that woman was me.

I wanted to tell him about the Mork and Mindy poster on my wall as a kid, and how I had cut out Mindy's face and put in my third-grade class photo. I wanted to tell him how much I loved his care for animals and for the unhoused and for the less fortunate. Or that because of him, I had a weird fetish for suspenders. (The last one wasn't quite true, but I still wanted to say it.)

But instead I merely laughed and said "Oh, thank you. But I can do better." He gave me a gentle look like, "We're all in this together," and even though I knew I'd never have a career like his, it dawned on me that it didn't matter. That being kind to others actually DID matter and that he was a lighthouse in a really stormy, pitch-black ocean.

I stuck it out and just a few years later, got to perform in the super cool and coveted "New Faces" show at the Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Fest. Didn't kill there either, but I was able to step back and look down from an aerial view. How we uplift others, whether through laughter or kindness, is really the only control we have in this world.

Years later, after Robin passed away, I had heart surgery and was feeling down. I had read that cardiac issues could leave a person biochemically depressed and the first person I thought of was him. I messaged our mutual friend from San Francisco and asked if he remembered Robin speaking to him about heart surgery and depression. He only affirmed that yes, it was a very real side effect and that I should take it seriously.

I have always thought of the neurotransmitter Serotonin like it was a flowery perfume. Notes of honey, lavender, rose. When someone has a good amount of it floating through their synapses, it leaves trace of itself wherever it goes, as if the tunnels it burrows under pumps it out through a steam grate. But from what I've heard, Robin struggled with that too. And yet he still found a way to leave a lovely and inviting scent behind him, because he wanted to make sure OTHERS were okay.

heart, robin williams, comediansA heart shaped neon sign in the dark Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

I guess, even in his death, I was looking to Robin for answers. But one puzzle remains solved: making others happy is the kindest thing we can do, even when our own valves --- whether heart or perfume pumps --- fail to work.

This article originally appeared in April.

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Heroes

Read the incredible hand-written notes an 8-year-old girl has been sending to firefighters

Her small gestures are making a world of difference.

Photo courtesy of Beth Crosby

Beth Crosby (who goes by the name @thegarbagemom on social media) asked her 8-year-old daughter, Grace, to write personal notes to firefighters in her community. She had no idea she'd be so moved by what her daughter said. As one of the many Los Angeles residents near the devastating wildfires, Beth and her family feared they had to evacuate their home. Preparing go-bags was understandably confusing and scary for their child, but Beth reassured her that firefighters were working hard to keep them safe.

Beth decided the best thing she could do for Grace was to teach her about giving back. Their local YMCA (the Anderson Munger YMCA in Koreatown) began collecting donations for fire stations and people who have been displaced. Beth shared, "They've worked non-stop and are just amazing! I wanted to help my daughter feel a tiny bit better about this horrible tragedy and show her we need to be helpers in any way that we can."

When Beth saw that the YMCA was asking for handmade notes to include in their care packages, she knew this was a perfect family activity. So they got to work.

Beth shared, "We talked about what we thought would make the firefighters feel supported, and what we could say that would make them know that the entire city is grateful for them." Grace's answer was to the point, which was merely that we need to tell them: "We are here for you."

Photo courtesy of Beth Crosby

Her first letter said "Hi my name is Grace and I am thinking about you. It makes me feel sad to hear what you are going through. But we are here for you! I'm 8 years old and I live in L.A. I hope to meet you one day. My friends and family and the whole city loves you!" She included a hopeful hand-drawn picture of a bird sitting perched by its nest, looking up at fire clouds with a rainbow on the horizon.

But it was their conversation after that really put things into perspective for Beth. When Grace was asked how she was feeling, she said she just hopes they can "keep going." She also relayed she felt just a little better knowing that maybe, just maybe, the cards and drawings would help firefighters and victims "not give up."

Other children sent over their letters/pictures, as well. @amfymca_ktown on Instagram shared notes from young kids like "Thank you for risking your own lives to save people from the fire." And "I appreciate your hard work. You are amazing," accompanied by their own heartfelt drawings.

On a pinned Instagram post, this YMCA noted that they're looking for more comforting and uplifting notes. They wrote: "Special project for ALL. You can do at home, with friends, school groups, companies, etc. These will be placed inside our care packages and delivered to many LAFD firehouses."

At the end of the day, Beth and so many others, just wanted to teach her kids that there are ways to feel less powerless in times of tragedy. She says, "I wanted to help my kid feel like she's contributing."

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Health

Man whose family won the lottery describes the strange part about becoming rich overnight

There is a downside to having your life change entirely instantly.

via Canva

A man holding a huge check.

One of the fun parts of buying a lottery ticket is walking out of the liquor store and fantasizing about what you'd do with the winnings. Where would I buy a home with an extra $20 million? To which charities would I donate some of the money? Which friends would I tell I won, and which family members would I keep in the dark?

Studies show that lottery winners experience greater life satisfaction after winning. However, not everyone is equipped to deal with a massive windfall. Around 33% of lottery winners file for bankruptcy 3 to 5 years after their windfall because they overspend their fortune.

Jayden Clarke, who lives in Los Angeles but was originally from Australia, admitted that he came from a family that won the lottery “over a decade ago” when he was 12 years old in a viral TikTok video. “Today, I’m going to do a storytime on how we won the lottery. I had obvious reasons to never speak about this because growing up, whenever anyone did know about it, they definitely had crazy perceptions of us immediately,” Clark begins his video.

@jaydenclark21

We won the lottery… a decade ago #storytime #lottery #lotto #storytimevideos #growingup #lotterywinner #family #realitytv #winning #poortorich #gambletok

The main point was to share that, of course, there are upsides to being in a family that has won millions of dollars; however, some unexpected discomfort creeps into one's life as well. “Even though we grew up still very structured in a way that if we wanted something, we had to have a reason to get it or work towards it in a way, I feel like the experience of winning the lottery makes you feel you have no option to be a normal person,” Clarke admits.

Clarke grew up in a lower-middle-class family struggling to keep their house. After winning the lottery, they moved into an affluent neighborhood with wealthy doctors and priests. However, they didn’t feel comfortable in their new digs and also felt uneasy in the neighborhood they left.

"Growing up, at least in Australia, it felt like when I did become aware of it, we would always make it very clear that we didn't deserve it because we didn't work hard,” Clarke said. “Even growing up we had the most beautiful house, like it was a blueprint for a reality show. Very often, we'd feel out of place between these two realities and just not fitting in anywhere."



He says that his family felt like the “Bogan” lottery family. For the unfamiliar, Bogan is a rude Aussie slang term to refer to boorish, lower-class people. Due to the family’s guilt about their sudden, possibly undeserved wealth, they were very generous with family and friends.

Unlike some lottery winners that blow all their money and then some, the Clarke family was smart with their winnings and is still “comfortable.” Clarke now lives in Los Angeles, where he feels he fits in much better than he did back in Australia. “Not until I came to LA did I feel like I belong and like it was normal,” he said. “Because there's so many crazy people here with crazy lives and realities and journeys. Back home, I often felt like like an outcast.”

Ultimately, Clarke is happy that his family won the lottery, and he’s slowly learned to come to grips with his incredible stroke of luck. “I'm still to this day grateful for how it happened to our family and how it changed our lives. My relationship with the whole like experience is very different now to growing up cause growing up, I did feel like I had to hide it.”

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Humor

Canadian comedian makes a funny and thoughtful case for why he doesn't want to be rich

"Bring rich won't make history remember you."

via TED

Comedian Pardis Parker at the Global Ted COnference 2022.

In April 2022, comedian Pardis Parker performed a five-minute set at the global TED Conference in Vancouver, Canada, where he admitted he’s “terrified of wanting to be a billionaire.” The performance was a funny and bold, statement in a culture obsessed with the ultra-wealthy.

Parker’s fear of becoming a billionaire began after he left Canada for Los Angeles. “I think the biggest difference between Canada and L.A. is the extent to which people in L.A. fetishize wealth,” Parker said.

“I'm terrified, man. I'm terrified that L.A. is changing me that I'm becoming one of those people who chases money, who fetishizes wealth who wants to be a billionaire,” he continued. “When I say that people get angry they get defensive. They’re like, ‘What's wrong with being rich? What's wrong with being a billionaire? What's wrong with being financially savvy?’ It's just like yo man, if you own a billion of anything that doesn't make you savvy, that makes you a hoarder.

He then points out that billionaires are just as quickly forgotten as anyone else. “There's 2,668 billionaires on the planet right now. Name them. You can't, and that's while they're still alive,” Parker joked.

Parker finishes his chunk by sharing how almost everyone can leave a legacy long after they’re gone. For example, give kids a full-size candy bar on Halloween. “That's it, that's it. Legacy cemented. It's been 30 years since I went trick-or-treating and me and my brother still talk about 39 Grenon.”

Parker’s stand-up routine presents a fun way of rethinking what it means to be rich and leave a legacy and he’s right. In the end, people will probably forget those who impressed them with their wealth, but they’ll never forget someone who made them feel good.

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