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People are sharing things teachers did in the '80s and '90s that would 'never fly' now

Students and teachers had different relationships back then.

1980s schools, 1990s schools, teachers
via EaglebrookSchool/Flickr

Eaglebrook School, Deerfield, Massachusetts.

The typical kid’s experience in school is a lot different today than it was 30 to 40 years ago. It’s hard to say whether things are better or worse, but there’s been a sea change in how children are raised.

One negative development is that teachers tend to think parents are more likely to side with their kids over faculty in disputes than they were decades ago. On the positive side, corporal punishment is on the decrease, so students are much less likely to be physically punished for breaking the rules.

A Reddit user with the username u/theSandwichSister asked the ‘80s and ‘90s kids on the forum, “What’s something a school teacher did to you that would not fly today?” A lot of the responses were about the type of physical punishment and humiliation that used to happen in schools that would never happen these days.

There were also a lot of posts about teachers who smoked around their students. Can you imagine a kindergarten teacher lighting up in front of their students these days? They’d be fired in a flash.

Overall, the responses show that schools are a lot more concerned with the mental and emotional health of their students these days, which is a wonderful improvement. Schools also seem to be much more friendly environments to students who are people of color, LGBTQ or have disabilities.

Here are 17 of the best responses to the question, “What’s something a school teacher did to you that would not fly today?”

1.

"Not a teacher, but school one. If you read enough books during the year in elementary school you got to have a sleepover in the library. Like we brought sleeping bags and slept on the floor. In the morning they had griddles out and we made pancakes. I know, total nerds, but it was my favorite elementary school memory." — 7askingforafriend

2.

"My elementary school principal would pull loose teeth. You could go to his office, have him pull your loose tooth and he would give you a lollipop." — snowfuckerforreal

3.

"I told my biology teacher that I wasn't feeling too well, he said that I didn't look sick, and as punishment made me stand in the corner until I fainted." — AustrianReaper

4.

"In high school, we would sometimes play knee soccer which was in our wrestling room (wall to wall wrestling mats) and was really just handball but on our knees. The PE teacher (football coach) let us play rough since it was an all male class and we were on our knees and couldn't do too much damage. During the game, two of the students were grappling for the ball and as these things go, one of them accidentally knocked the other a little too aggressively. The kid that got hit (an known asshole of the school) got pissed and stood up and kicked the other kid.

The PE teacher (225lb jacked military hair cut) stormed over and shoved the kid who flew about 10 feet before crashing to the ground. The kid gets up ready to fight whoever shoved him and the teacher had closed the gap and started screaming at him. Then the teacher lectured the entire class about sportsmanship and honor. The teacher never got in any trouble." — hangingonwith2fingers

5.

"In 5th grade, I was called to the office at my public school. I was a goody two-shoes so I had no idea why I was called, so I started tearing up thinking something bad must've happened to my family. Eventually, I was ushered into a room as my two best friends left. The principal and 2 other staff members then sat me down and showed me a piece of paper. It was a silly poem I wrote one of my friends about a good witch who granted wishes by mixing together some mundane ingredients. Apparently, their mother found the poem and complained to the school. Their response was to interview my friends about MY RELIGION." — ktbunny

6.

"6th grade teacher Ms. Sullivan would take 3 kids every Friday to McDonald’s for lunch. She was cool as hell. Smoked during the drive and everything." — SigP365SAS


7.

"My 3rd grade teacher had the whole class camp in her backyard after the last day of school. She took us to see the original TMNT movie in the theater, then we stayed up late telling ghost stories. One of my absolute fondest memories." — Cambot1138

8.

"Yeah, there are a lot of negative things in this thread, which makes sense, but there are some 'cool teacher' things that we lost too. I got a ride home from school once from a male teacher in middle school (I'm female) when it was pouring rain and my mom wouldn't come get me, but I bet that's not allowed these days." — rabidstoat

9.

"English teacher in high school used to cuss kids out for being noisy in class and if that didn't work, he'd throw the blackboard eraser at us. I wasn't on the receiving end of the eraser. That chalk would leave marks on kid's backs for the rest of the day so everyone knew who pissed off Mr Charvet." — Roscoe_Cracks_Corn

 

10.

"7th-grade science class, the teacher walked around with a beaker full of mercury and told us to stick a finger in it to feel how dense it was. Then he gave us each our own penny-size drop of mercury to play with at our desks, so we could see how it moved. I’m sure we were poisoned that day. Nowadays if a thermometer breaks they clear the school." — weirdkid71

11.

"Not something done to me per se, but my 3rd grade teacher had a little office with a door inside our classroom, and she would smoke cigarettes in there while we were at lunch/recess." — HutSutRawlson

 

12.

"Cheese Day in the Midwest. It was in first grade. For an entire day, all you ate was cheese. Cheese puffs, curls, sticks, slices, balls, and Doritos. Drank orange Hi-C as well. For 10+ years, smelling that fake cheese made me gag. After her wedding, and the birth of her son, my sister says Cheese Day the best day of her life. Wasn’t Wisconsin either." — 2_Spicy_2_Impeach

13.

"They told us Pluto was a planet." — Representative-Fig96

14.

"Best math teacher ever made us say numerator/denominator in Schwarzenegger voices as we were learning fractions." — kittensington

15.

"High School, we were on campus, drove a van to the locker rooms because I was with The QB, Linebacker and a couple of linemen who needed to get crap from their lockers. We were drinking beer in the van, it was 1:30, the football coach sees us, stops the van, looks inside and sees the beer, and shook his head and told us to be careful and get off campus. I don’t think that would fly today." — kentro2002

16.

"A lot of people are posting bad stuff, so let me share a good one. In 9th grade, in 1984, I had a class analyzing lyrics in pop music. Students brought in records by Led Zep and John Cougar and we'd discuss what they meant. Seriously a life-changing class. It makes me sad that younger students in America are so caught up in the rat race that they never had experiences like that." — Adventuresphere

 

17.

"I had an awesome teacher who would send one of us to the shop (just a minute’s walk away) with enough money to get ice creams for everybody whenever it was hot and she didn’t feel like teaching." — wanderingsteph


This article originally appeared on 08.30.22

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A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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These 4 words can keep a conversation flowing forever no matter how bad you are at small talk

There's literally no way to screw this up.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


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Mom accidentally sets timer instead of alarm and has whole family ready for school at 2 a.m.

"That momma is tired. She needs a special day for herself."

Canva Photos

Alarm clock snafu cause mom to accidentally wake the whole family up at 2 a.m. for school.

No one prepares you for how your life will change when you become a parent of school-aged children. I was shocked to suddenly find myself waking up at 6 a.m. for breakfast and getting ready when my oldest started elementary school. At 6 a.m., it's generally still dark outside and for all intents and purposes, it feels like the dead of night.

So it's no wonder one mom had a little snafu with her alarm clock and didn't even notice.

A mom who goes by Tanis on social media reports in a recent video that instead of setting an alarm for 5:50 a.m., she accidentally set a timer for 5 hours and 50 minutes. It's a relatively easy mistake to make if you're using your iPhone for everything, as most of us are.

When the alarm went off, mom rushed into action, waking the kids, rousing her husband, throwing breakfast together, and getting everyone dressed. Parents know that the morning routine often runs on auto-pilot. Your brain is barely on, but your body knows what needs to be done.

It wasn't until the whole family was standing in the kitchen, all ready for the day, that Tanis realized it was 2:30 in the morning.

She and her husband had a good laugh, while the kids look less than thrilled. In the end, she tells them to just go back to bed and "sleep in your clothes."

@tanis___

everyone went back to sleep in their clothes… we woke back up at 6:30 & my kids had trust issues getting to school saying there was still stars in the sky and to make sure it was time 🤣 mom fail. #funny #momfail #schoolthings

The video went massively viral, racking up 20 million views on TikTok. Parents everywhere could relate.

Many saw the hilarious incident as a clear sign that Tanis needs a day off, which checks out. Parenting burnout is running high and moms and dads are juggling way more responsibilities than they can handle. Sometimes, that contributes to little mental errors like this one.

Here are some of the responses to the video:

"Its honestly a big sign she needs a break"

"That woman needs a spa day"

"That momma is tired. She needs a special day for herself"

But the overwhelming sentiment from most viewers was respect and admiration, not only for Tanis' leadership in the household, but the family dynamic as a whole:

@tanis___

Replying to @🌄 top funniest comment. I had to respond, now please let me know which cruise line I should save up for bc I’m definitely gonna continue saving for that. I need recommendations 🫶🏻 thank you everyone! #funnycomments #viralvideo #funny #cruise

"That’s not a fail, that’s elite-level leadership.Your army follows orders without question even at 2:30am."

"Shows you how the whole family relies on mom. You deserve credit mom"

"Hair curled... kids up... husband up... breakfast made... you ARE A ROCKSTARRRR "

"The fact that you guys were laughing and not fighting shows that you are a great family. No crying from the kids, no anger from your husband, honestly I’m jealous"

It's true what they say about families: the best stories and memories usually come from disasters like this one.

Gil Greengross writes for Psychology Today that painful, even tragic moments, often become funny to us over time. One reason is that being able to laugh at a difficult moment helps us cope with the difficult emotions of it. Parenting, in particular, can be extremely difficult on a day-to-day basis so having a strong sense of humor is immensely helpful.

It's also true that the days that go as planned, where the morning routine goes off without a hitch, run together and go by in a blur. When disaster strikes, it becomes something unique and memorable that the whole family can bond over—even if you don't find it funny at the time.

Still, it's awesome that Tanis and her family were such good sports about their rude awakening. Let's hope they all get a much deserved chance to sleep in one day real soon.

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Man shares his 3-part 'perfect night' and its simplicity is awe-inspiring

"That's the dream."

Photo Credit: Canva

A man skips rock into water. A man drinks a beer at a firepit.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” - Socrates

Sometimes, it's about getting back to basics. Stripping down all the extra noise and fabric to the bare, raw moments where time stands still and we can soak in just a dash of contentment.

For Canadian TikToker Nolan Reid, it really is about remembering the simplest things that bring happiness. Clad in a soft blue-gray shirt with his signature mustache, he faces the camera with a chyron saying, "My idea of a perfect night." He then points to three ideas floating on the screen while sweet music underscores the plan.

@nolanreid7

Last scene almost took a spill in the water, lets see your #perfectnight #myperfectnight #saskatchewan

  1. Skip rocks.
  2. Drink beers.
  3. Have a fire.

He then harkens the TikTok watchers to come along so we can experience his plan in action. As he stands on the embankment of a lake, while the orangey pink sunset threatens to descend, he begins (as promised) by skipping rocks into the water.

As the sun continues to set, now resembling the flicker of a cigarette, we see Reid walk onto a dock holding a beer in one hand as he continues skipping rocks with the other. We then see part three of his "very simple plan"—a small fire crackling off to the side.

For many, this pulls an emotional chord. For some (at least for me), it reminds me of my young Gen X childhood in a small Texan town. No cell phones, no distractions. Just a lake, a fire, and a few bubbly (albeit too sweet) wine coolers. Sometimes with friends, and sometimes alone as a time to under-think for once.

It's, in a way, Reid's version of stopping to smell the roses. Incidentally, Kelly Willis, Professor of Biodiversity at the University of Oxford recently shared on BBC Countryfile, "The impact nature can have on our wellbeing." She goes on to list different scents and their effect on our bodies. Of roses, she says, "Smelling roses makes you more relaxed and a calmer driver. Even smelling roses for as little as 90 seconds has been shown to trigger a reduction in participants’ physiological indicators of stress."

being present, simple things, smelling roses, wellbeing, wellness A person sniffs a yellow rose. Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Reid asks his followers what their "perfect night" is. Nearly 170,000 likes and 450 comments follow, beginning with this kind one: "Not all heroes wear capes. Some have glorious mustaches and drink beer." Others continue to compliment Reid, claiming he is their inspiration and "Canadian hero." One shares, "If this isn't me in five years, I don't want life."

A few offer ideas for *their* perfect night: Fishing rods and tubes for tubing are added to lists. This person spoke in code, but it seems pretty clear what they mean: "Personally we would camp there and fish and also shmoke shome shmeed."

This wouldn't be the first time Nolan Reid has graced our pages. Within the last year, my Upworthy colleague Evan Porter shared a story from Reid where he lists "12 things that make men happy." (Among them, again, beer and skipping rocks. He adds in a good dog by your side and more.)

In fact, Reid's entire page seems dedicated to finding joy in the little tiny things we forget might make us feel good. Much of it is the pleasures of camping, with simple videos of Reid making breakfast. (These are often scored by Tragically Hip songs, because of course.)


@nolanreid7

Breaky in a beauty spot @Scout Campers #mountains #breakfast #hellyeah #MuzzyMade


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