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Identity

Do you have a 'gay voice'? Here's how to tell.

Have you ever wondered if you have a “gay voice”?

Photo pulled from YouTube trailer "Do I sound gay?"

For anyone who's wondering if they have a gay voice and what that actually means.

This article originally appeared on June 5, 2015


Have you ever wondered if you have a “gay voice”?

If you're anything like me, the answer is yes. Many times.

For anyone who’s laid awake wondering if your voice is just as gay as you are, I've created a rigorous test for you to finally get some answers. Follow the chart below to see if you, in fact, sound like a homosexual. ***(Image needs to pulled from Robbie Couch who wrote the article.)


Temporary pic pulled as a place holder

Temporary pic pulled as a place holder******

Yes, that's correct: You do not have a "gay voice" — because a "gay voice" is not really a thing.

Unlike humans, voices do not identify as certain genders or sexual orientations. They're just ... sounds. (Crazy, I know!)

Stereotypes about what LGBTQ people sound like lead some to think their gay-dar can accurately sniff out queer folks in a crowd based on voices alone. However, research shows we actually do a pretty poor job at guessing another person's sexual orientation solely using our ears.

Even if we do wear our queerness on the tips of our tongues, though, why should it matter?

Some LGBTQ people fret over their voice, fearful their queerness is on display every time they speak. And that concern is understandable. Sometimes, it's not a matter of accepting yourself, but a matter of survival: When your voice outs you as an "other" in an environment that's hostile toward gay, transgender, or otherwise queer people, personal safety becomes a priority.

“A lot of gay men are self-conscious about sounding gay because we were persecuted for that when we were young," LGBTQ activist and media personality Dan Savage said in the 2014 documentary "Do I Sound Gay?"

CNN's Don Lemon, who is openly gay, also chimed in on the topic. Has he ever felt insecure about "sounding gay"? “I’d have to say, if I told you ‘no,’ I’d be lying," Lemon admitted in the documentary.

But we should never let a bully's bigotry convince us our voices should be silenced. You sound perfect the way you are, honey — and don't you forget it.

Checking out the documentary "Do I Sound Gay?", available on multiple streaming platforms. Here's a look at the trailer:

This article was written by Robbie Couch and originally appeared on 11.5.15

Science

According to science, there is no difference between a "male" brain and a "female" brain

It's a great reminder that gendering activities and behaviors is a bunch of bunk.

Have you ever heard that women are "hardwired" to have better memories? Or that men are "naturally" better at navigating?

Sure, they're just stereotypes, but they're coming from somewhere. And for a long time we've been led to believe that men's and women's brains are fundamentally different, so why couldn't blanket statements like these hold some truth?

Joy

Check out a human library, where you borrow people instead of books.

A surely unforgettable experience reaching all corners of the world.

Image via Pixabay.

Libraries no longer store only books.

There are libraries popping up around the world where you can see the books breathe.

You can watch the books blink, cry, laugh, and think. You can ask them any sort of question and get a real answer.

It's what the books hope you'll do.

At the Human Library, the books are people!

It's set up just like a normal library: You check out a "book" on a certain topic and have an allotted amount of time with it. Only at the Human Library, the book is, well, a human.

People who volunteer to become "books" make their experiences open and available, usually on issues that people tend to have a difficult time discussing. "Readers" are encouraged to ask questions freely, and they'll get honest answers in return. It's brilliant.

What kind of books can you borrow there?

1. Borrow a person with autism.

With 1 in 68 kids diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) today, there's no better way to learn about it than by interacting with someone who has it.

2. Borrow someone who has modified their appearance.

Ever make assumptions about people with lots of piercings and tattoos? Here's an opportunity to stop judging a book by its cover and get to know the inside.

3. Borrow a refugee and hear their story.

You've heard about the Syrian refugee crisis in the news. Why not put the media on hold and talk to an actual refugee?

4. Borrow someone who is transgender.

Perhaps you've always had questions about being transgender but didn't know how to ask them. Go ahead. Get your questions ready.

5. Borrow a homeless person.

What stories do they have of a life you may never know?

6. Borrow someone with deaf-blindness.

Just because they communicate differently doesn't mean their stories are less.

7. Borrow someone who is obese.

Society loves to put people in categories. Break through those boundaries to get a fuller picture.

You can borrow a police officer. A veteran with PTSD. A single mom. A Muslim. Someone in a polyamorous relationship. A former gang member. A sex worker. A welfare recipient. A teacher. The list goes on.

The libraries are bringing people who would otherwise never interact together in a way that many communities long for.

That's what Ronni Abergel has sought to do since the library's launch in 2000. During a four-day test run at the Roskilde Festival in Copenhagen, organizers and festival attendees were stunned at the event's impact.

"The policeman sitting there speaking with the graffiti writer. The politician in discussions with the youth activist and the football fan in a deep chat with the feminist. It was a win-win situation and has been ever since," Ronni said on the Human Library's site.

A no-judgment zone is one key to its impact.

"It's meant to be a safe space to ask difficult questions and not to be judged," he told Upworthy. "To try and gain an important insight into the life of someone you think you know something about, but..."

You don't.

In our quick-to-judge, increasingly polarized world, it's no wonder these events are growing in size. We need them.

When asked what has changed since these events started, Ronni responded, “The world has changed, for the worse.”

He points to there being less tolerance, less understanding, and less social cohesion than when he first had the idea back in 2000. And unfortunately, he's right.

When we have states discriminating against transgender people using the bathroom, presidential candidates campaigning to ban an entire religion from entering the United States, and countries still facing stigma around Ebola, it can be hard to want to high-five humanity.

There's so much to learn about one another. A group of readers here borrowed a nudist.

It's time to face our fears and confront our stereotypes. To embrace the diversity of this world will allow us to feel more secure in it.

"When you meet our books, no matter who you are and where you are from or which book you will be reading, in the end, inside every person, the result will say: we are different from each other, we see things differently and we live life differently. But there are more things that we have in common than are keeping us apart." Truth.

If there's one immediately impactful way to bring communities together, a Human Library might just be it.

Learn more about it in the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 02.18.16

There's no such thing as "a regular American."

There's nothing wrong with asking someone where they're from—in fact, it's a normal conversation starter among a lot of humans around the world. The follow-ups to the initial question, however, can turn problematic quite quickly when there are racial and cultural assumptions, biases and stereotypes underlying the questioning.

Unfortunately, that's all too often the case. Frequently, when the question is asked of non-white people in the U.S., "Where are you from?" leads to "No, where are you really from?" which then leads to an awkward ancestral analysis and an implicit "othering" that the questioner is often oblivious to.

That obliviousness isn't charming or harmless, as a video sketch played out by actors Stella Choe and Scott Beehner shows.


The "What Kind of Asian are You?" video from Ken Tanaka, originally released in 2013, starts with a woman on a trail stretching for a jog. A man comes up to her and starts chatting with her, and at first she seems interested. But then he almost immediately asks her where she's from while also telling her, "Your English is perfect."

She tells him she's from San Diego, but by the look on her face she clearly anticipates what's coming next. And sure enough, what follows is a predictable series of increasingly offensive questions and responses, which the character in the sketch probably just considers "friendly get-to-know-you talk."

But when the woman turns the tables and asks him the same exact series of questions and responds with exaggerated or inaccurate cultural stereotypes, he acts like she's the weird one.

Watch:

People who have been on the receiving end of these kinds of questions and assumptions have shared the video multiple times over the years since it came out, resulting in several waves of virality. And commenters have shared what they love about the video.

"It's the subtle things in this that make it the more awesome," wrote one person. "Like how she amalgamates in Irish stereotypes (Guinness, Top o' the mornin' to ye) with English stereotypes... the same way people like that guy mix Chinese, Japanese, Korean etc. stereotypes together as if those nations were the same thing."

"I'd just like to point out that while a lot of you think this is a parody video and this guy is a characterized, over-the-top version of a person, it's not," wrote another. "This is my life (minus me jogging and being as funny back). And it's not even a compilation of lots of mini experiences all summarized in one video to make even more of a point. In fact, if anything, I think it's missing the part where the man then tells her about how his last 5 girlfriends were all Asian and how he has learned how to make awesome spring rolls, where he starts speaking Korean at her, and then proceeds to ask if she has a boyfriend. Because then, it would be real life."

"This is an actual conversation I've had!!!" shared another. "So funny to see it here, wish I could've had a good comeback for it like this!"

Some people pointed out that the woman said her great-grandmother was from Seoul while the man said his grandparents were from England. That would technically make her more of "a regular American" than he is. (Unless, of course, "regular American" just means white. Ahem.)

Choe and Beehner also had some fun with the comments section, reading aloud some of the affirming as well as some of the more obtuse and/or racist responses to the original video. It's amazing.

You can find more Ken Tanaka videos on YouTube.