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Men falling into quick sand, molasses, meditation.

First of all, you're not alone. Feeling "stuck" can—and usually does—happen at any stage of life. It's not a reflection of your success status, your love attachment, or even necessarily your choices. But it can feel like you're walking in sticky molasses with no way out. These feelings could range from mere procrastination on small tasks to a bigger picture "stuckness" wherein you might feel an existential angst that seems to freeze your ability to make change.

While many therapists offer helpful solutions on how to get "unstuck," non-experts have creative ideas too, and they are surprisingly simple.

In 30 seconds flat, Stanford professor Graham Weaver shares ways to become unstuck, which he also imparts on his students. He begins by asking four questions: "What am I avoiding? I need to go right at that." So, let's say you've got mounds of paperwork on your desk and just can't bring yourself to go through it. This creates a cycle of stuckness, because until you tackle that task, you might not be able to move on to the next thing. Naming it is the first step to addressing it.

@grahamcweaver

How to get unstuck. Four simple tips. #growth #stuck #selfimprovement #mindsetmotivation #lifeadvice #personaldevelopment #goals

He then advises to ask the question, "Where do I start?" Good question, right? His answer is easy: "Translate my goal into something simple I can do today." This could merely be sending an email about a job opportunity or, ya know, going through at least a portion of that mountain of paperwork.

The third question he proposes is, "How do I 'win' today? Just write down three things I can move forward on today, and then get up and repeat that tomorrow." Your three things can be as simple or complex as you'd like. Example: Pay the minimum payment (if not all) of a bill. Send an email about a project idea. Change your sheets.

And lastly, he asks, "What are the habits that are interfering with where I want to go?" This is probably the most important and possibly most difficult when trying to assess your stuckness. (For me, it's a lack of focus. I'll begin doing something creative or practical, and then I'll start scrolling Instagram for hours. Since I can't change that, I put my phone in a drawer for as long as possible and give myself a goal of at least one hour without it. Baby steps.)

Just recently on Reddit, someone posted the question: "How do you quickly get out of a rut situation and take actions?" They describe feeling stuck, and in part share, "I want to learn skills. I want to mainly overcome fears and complete tasks that I’ve been neglecting to do. Now I always feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t have the proper plan and basic idea how to achieve goals. So my mind automatically chooses to procrastinate, yet in the background, all I do is worry about my life problems."

Redditors recognized themselves in this statement and many had solid ideas. The first commenter suggests literal movement. "For me, the way out was exercise. To start, once I got so frustrated with myself for lying around and doing nothing that I couldn't take it anymore, I would get up and go to the gym and use that frustration to get me moving. I noticed after I went to the gym I would feel so good, both physically and mentally. This spurred me to get more things done around the house, instead of just doing nothing."

 homer simpson, the simpsons, treadmill, excercise Homer tries to use the treadmill.  Giphy 20th Century Fox 

Another echoes Weaver's idea of creating smaller goals that can help one, as he said, "win today." This Redditor shares, "What I have found works for me is just getting something done to build momentum, even if it's a small thing. Then I layer another small thing on top of that and keep going. Some people say do the difficult things first and get it out of the way. I am not built that way. I fear what's difficult and procrastinate. So I build up to it by gaining smaller victories."

This person offers what's called The Two Minute Method. "The two minute method (it has a million other names as well) is good. Just take one thing you know you need to be doing, and do it for 2 minutes. Generally, once you get going, you'll be able to do it for longer than that. The great barrier is inertia—objects at rest want to stay at rest."

While there were many other helpful answers from everyday Redditors, this person listed three excellent ideas in a row of things one can actually do right now to make a significant change: "If you’re on social media and often catch yourself mindlessly scrolling every time there’s a lull in the day, challenge yourself to delete the apps. For a week, for a month, etc. See how you feel!"

They add to motivate yourself through music. "If you’re a music person, put together some playlists based on the mood you’re trying to set. Need some light background noise for reading? Throw together some chill instrumental songs. Need a workout playlist? Gather all the songs that get you amped. If your library isn’t that deep you can always search for playlists on YouTube/Spotify."

And lastly, "Might sound silly, but meditation can be a great tool to help look inward, boost your morale, and set intentions for what you want to focus on. You can look up: affirmations meditation, motivation meditation, unstuck meditation."

Here's one of many meditations focused on unsticking:

  guided meditation, anxiety, feeling stuck, therapy  www.youtube.com, John Davisi 

Gen X reveals their retirement plan, it's not found in financial news

Retirement is something just about everyone looks forward to once they cruise into middle age. Daydreams about spending your days on the beach sipping a frozen drink under a cabana while the sound of the waves washes away any left over worries. Sounds lovely, doesn't it, but not everyone gets to live that retirement dream. "Feel good" videos of strangers helping an elderly stranger retire through a GoFundMe campaign cycle through the social media sphere ever three to five business months.

But Gen X has a plan that they consider foolproof. The children of baby boomers don't have company pensions to fall back on as a whole like many from previous generations so they've had to come up with something on their own. Currently, financial analysts explain that in order to retire someone needs to have 10-12 years of their annual income stacked in their bank account before they hit the retirement button. That means if you currently make $100,000 per year, you should have over $1 million in the bank but people also need to account for cost of living increases.

 gen x; retirement; gen x retirement; gen xers; retirement planning; saving for retirement Couple enjoys a serene sail on a sunny day.Photo credit: Canva

Saving for retirement starts early for those in the position to save, since experts advise that people should already have up to four times their annual salary in savings by the time they're 40 years old. Many in Gen X don't have 4 to 6 times their annual income in their account, in fact a large sector of this generation are still living paycheck to paycheck with little money in their savings accounts. This reality plays into the tongue-in-cheek but very serious Gen X retirement plan and it's not one you'll find in the finance section of a newspaper or magazine. Simply put, Gen X plans to die.

We're not talking about they are all planning to drink special Kool-aid or anything, they just plan to work until their body's give out and they die. The sentiment is something that people joked about on social media often using a viral sound attached to a video of a woman walking to her desk.

 gen x; retirement; gen x retirement; gen xers; retirement planning; saving for retirement Floating in bliss on a sunny pool day.Photo credit: Canva

"So I am obviously Gen X and my retirement plan is to pass away, so I'm not sure how many other Gen X people have that as their retirement goal but I know that I will be working one day and fall over dead," the woman says.

The comment section on the video was full of people agreeing that they had the same retirement plan with a few exceptions, like the person that writes, "Norway prison is by far the best that I have looked at for retirement."

 
 @fnpkpc Can we protest for a 32 hour work week and higher pay??? #healthcare #nursepractitioner #medicaltiktok #genx #work #retirement ♬ original sound - the Junque Love 
 
 

In another video that uses the same sound, the Corrbette Pasko asks, "are you trying to tell me there's a different option, because I don't understand what that would be. They don't want to give me money when I'm alive and working, if I stop working who's going to give me...like what do you think I'm going to do, buy a boat? With what? I tried planting a money tree in the back and it...okay, I didn't put any seeds in the ground. I just yelled and screamed and cried a bunch and stomped and I thought maybe, but no."

Upworthy spoke with Gen Xer John S. Blake about the retirement plan for their generation and why they think many are not prepared. They explain, "First, I can't only speak for my own personal experiences. For me, schools didn't teach financial awareness: banking, investments, etc. Also, our economy was so easy to navigate because, by the time I was 16, I could work one full-time job, at minimum wage, and still afford an apartment. People were given free health insurance, without having to pay into it, as part of their employment packages. Mass layoffs, high unemployment rates, and job scarcity wasn't a thing. If you needed money, you could get a job in hours. Not months. HOURS!"

 
 @corrbette #stitch with @Kendra There are people who have a different plan? I. How? #GenX #retirement ♬ original sound - Corrbette Pasko 
 
 

Blake also shares that many in Gen X had a rough start with the epidemics of drugs, AIDS and high incarceration rates as the government attempted to crack down on drug users. According to Blake this left a lot of mothers as sole providers for their families which left little room for any at home financial education, which only later contributed the issues some face now. But Blake isn't without hope, while they admit if they had all of the answers they'd be retired, the Gen Xer says he follows specific social media accounts for financial advice.

"There are so many social media profiles that teach sincere financial awareness. One of my favorites is @Vivian "Your Rich BFF". She breaks down financial literacy in a way that is palatable for those of us, like me, who still understand very little. Plus for those of us who feel guilty and ashamed to finally put ourselves first, I would suggest looking into Dr. Raquel Martin Phd. She's been helping me, one podcast and TikTok post at a time, to allow myself some grace," Blake tells Upworthy.

While there jokes being made about not being able to retire, with Dawn Renee saying she will need to die and have her funeral during her lunch break because she can't afford to do it any other time, experts try to calm fears. They suggest that you can still retire by downsizing your home, tightening your budget to spend as little as possible, and retire gradually. Thrivenet reports that 30% of Americans plan to take the gradual retirement route while 5% of Americans don't plan to retire at all, pretty sure Gen X is most of that 5 percent.

No matter if you have $20 in savings or $200K, retirement is likely on your mind and Gen Xers are here to let you know that you're not alone if you plan to continue working for the rest of your life.

Humor

A mom lost her son on a cruise ship. Turns out he was going viral from the karaoke room.

Tyler knew exactly where he was—rounding up aunties with his Keith Sweat performance.

A mom lost her son on a cruise ship. Turns out he was going viral from the karaoke room.

Cruise ships are often the perfect family vacation. They allow you to go to multiple different locations on a tighter budget while also giving your family a resort experience with all the on ship entertainment and activities. But cruise ships are big. We're talking so large that they make the Titanic look like a tug boat, so, it's fairly easy to get lost on one. This is what one mom, Kim Heyworth, thought happened when her young adult son disappeared from the group for a while.

Thankfully, that wasn't the whole story. In turned out that the missing 20-year-old was going viral while his mom was actively looking for him. According to some comments, the missing kid, named Tyler, was supposed to be going to the pool but wasn't there when his family went looking for him. Instead of taking a dip, Tyler Heyworth went on a bit of a side quest after coming across a room full of people dressed up and singing karaoke.

 Tyler on cruise; Tyler singing; kid singing on cruise; Tyler on Carnival; cruise ship; karaoke A large neon karaoke sign on the side of a building.  Photo by Nikola Đuza on Unsplash  

Clearly, Tyler was no longer interested in the pool. His calling suddenly became the stage, a microphone, and a room full of uncles and aunties waiting to be entertained—and entertain he did. Tyler grabbed the mic as a familiar tune filled the room: "Nobody" by R&B artist Keith Sweat. Was he actually going to sing Keith Sweat? He was. He did. And the 20-year-old knew every single word and tone without having to look at the screen. This kid was born an entertainer, clearly.

As soon as he starts singing the first few words, one of the women in the front of the room gets up and walks away before stopping to fan herself. It's clear that nobody in the room thought that song was going to come out of Tyler's mouth, probably because it's a pretty niche song that didn't seem to have much crossover when it was dominating the R&B airwaves.

Before long, Tyler's older brother comes looking for him, but fails to bring his brother back at all. The brother, Timmy, saw what Tyler was doing and decided to join in on the fun, both apparently forgetting they were supposed to be returning to their mother. Timmy dons a pair of sunglasses while rocking a messy bun and grabs the second mic. In time, the duo are grooving to the 2004 hit, "Let Me Love You" by Mario.

While the crowd was thoroughly entertained, their mother was confusedly still searching—now for both of her sons. In the meantime, Tyler was going viral on social media thanks to small snippets from cruise passengers that were quickly being reshared online. Soon, Carnival had reshared a clip and, serendipitously, John Legend did too. Funnily enough, Tyler didn't have his own TikTok at the time, which was a let down for fans looking to follow him. What fans did have, though was Tyler's first name and the name of his cruise ship.

 
 @crazy_chickenlady03 Brothers Timmy and Tyler singing. #karaoke #carnival Paradise @TimmyHeyworth @tyler ♬ original sound - Kim Heyworth 
 
 

Eventually, word got to Tyler's mom and she found her boys in the middle of their viral moment. Soon, she uploaded two full videos of the performances: one of Tyler singing alone and the other with his brother.

Carnival later reached out to Tyler, sending him a box full of goodies and inviting him back on one of their cruises with a guest. Tyler is good for business.

An angry man in front of the American flag.

America has never been a perfect place, but since the Civil War, it has been one where most people bought into the idea of the country and supported the institutions that keep it running. People may disagree on politics and culture, but when America was threatened, whether it was 9/11 or World War II, people came together to fight for the country they love, even though the reasons may have differed.

However, it’d be naive to say that sentiment is still as strong as it once was. Since The Great Recession, many people have felt that the vibes are off in America, and polls and research back those feelings. Right around 2012, when smartphones became ubiquitous, there was a considerable rise in the number of people who felt that America was on the wrong track and that racism and sexism were considerably worse than they were just a year before. There was also a big spike in mental illness.

So what happened in 2012? Did the world suddenly become drastically worse overnight, or had our perceptions been changed?

 woman, dispair, smartphone, bad news, woman in kitchen, upset woman A woman is upset looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Why does it feel like America is on the decline?

Other developed countries have experienced similar vibe shifts since 2012, but it has hit America the hardest. Economics blogger Noah Smith explains why this feeling of malaise has hit America so hard, and he illustrates it perfectly in a viral Substack piece called “Social media destroyed one of America's key advantages.” Smith is an American blogger and commentator on economics and current events and former assistant professor of behavioral finance at Stony Brook University.

In his Substack post, Smith postulates that the technological change hit America the hardest because it punctured our geographical buffers. “A hippie in Oakland and a redneck in the suburbs of Houston both fundamentally felt that they were part of the same unified nation; that nation looked very different to people in each place,” Smith writes. “Californians thought America was California, and Texans thought America was Texas, and this generally allowed America to function.”

 

Why did America fundamentally change in 2012?

Here’s an excerpt from Smith’s piece. Please check out the entire piece on the Noahpinion Substack.

Like some kind of forcible hive mind out of science fiction, social media suddenly threw every American in one small room with every other American. Decades of hard work spent running away from each other and creating our ideologically fragmented patchwork of geographies went up in smoke overnight, as geography suddenly ceased to mediate the everyday discussion of politics and culture.

The sudden collapse of geographic sorting in political discussion threw all Americans in the same room with each other — and like the characters in Sartre’s No Exit, they discovered that “Hell is other people.” Conservatives suddenly discovered that a lot of Americans despise Christianity or resent White people over the legacy of discrimination. Liberals suddenly remembered that a lot of their countrymen frown on their lifestyles. Every progressive college kid got to see every piece of right-wing fake news that their grandparents were sharing on Facebook (whereas before, these would have been quietly confined to chain emails). Every conservative in a small town got to see Twitter activists denouncing White people. And so on.


 protests, american protest, protest sign, demonstration, mass gathering A group of people protesting in the street.via Ted Eytan/Flickr

It may sound cynical to believe that America was a better place when people were less likely to talk to people with a different worldview. But, given how things have gone in the past 15 years, it’s fair to say that putting every American in a proverbial ring to fight it out just makes everyone feel under attack... and the fight never ends.

The problem with the Like button

Another development around the same time that many believe negatively affected the country was the development of the Like button on Facebook. The button made its debut in 2009, and it, along with the share button, which came in 2010, incentivized people to create content that their audience agreed with, creating echo chambers. The buttons also incentivized people to make outrage-provoking posts and create fake stories to go viral and increase advertising revenue.

 maga, trump supporters, trump flags, trump rally, american flags Trump supporters at a rally.via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

The positive takeaway from Smith’s geographical sorting theory is that, quite possibly, many people’s perceptions about life in Amerca are wrong because we’re seeing it through the distorted, funhouse mirror of social media that shows us every bad deed in a country of 330 million people and amplifies the voices of the unscroupulous. By pinpointing the moment that America “went to hell,” as author Jonathan Haidt says, we also have a roadmap to get back to when people had greater faith in America’s institutions and people.