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Kristen Bell's advice to her younger self about depression is a must hear for everyone

"We're all just human. And you can do it."

Child Mind Institute/Youtube

Actress Kristen Bell speaks up about coping with depression.

Actress Kristen Bell lives with anxiety and depression.

Maybe you wouldn't have guessed it scanning through her work on IMDb. She's the voice behind Anna in "Frozen," after all; the star of a former hit show called "The Good Place," for goodness sake.

Those seem like, um ... happy roles. Right?

That's why Bell is speaking out again about her mental illness.

The media we consume — on our phones, in the magazine aisle, even in Bell's own delightful TV series and films — rarely convey an accurate depiction of reality. And Bell is advising anyone else living with mental illness not to be fooled.

In a video produced by the Child Mind Institute, Bell opened up about what she'd like to tell her younger self.

"What I would say to my younger self is don’t be fooled by this game of perfection that humans play," she said. "Because Instagram and magazines and TV shows — they strive for a certain aesthetic, and everything looks so beautiful, and people seem like they don’t have any problems. But everyone’s human."

She continued (emphasis added):

"Everyone has problems. Everyone feels yucky on the inside sometimes. And you deserve to feel just as beautiful on the days that you wear no makeup, and the days you don’t shower, and the days that you feel like you’re depressed. And you have an obligation to take care of yourself from the inside out, because that’s how you can truly feel beautiful.”

In recent years, Bell has spoken up candidly about her own mental health in hopes it can benefit others.

The actress was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was 18 years old. As she explained to "Off Camera with Sam Jones" in 2016, her mom had been the one to fill her in on their family's history with mental illness.

Bell started taking medication to help — and has no qualms about it. "I still take it today; I have no shame in that,” Bell explained. "You would never deny a diabetic his insulin, but for some reason when someone needs a serotonin inhibitor, they're immediately ‘crazy’ or something."

Her anxiety and depression, Bell noted, is probably the biggest differentiation between her own life and the characters she portrays on screen.

Depression and anxiety affect millions of Americans of all ages. But despite their prevalence, stigma surrounding mental illness — dissuading people from reaching out, for instance, or shaming them for taking medication — remains a major barrier stopping people from accessing the resources they need.

Bell wants every kid to know they deserve to feel better.

"Never feel embarrassed or ashamed about who you are," Bell advises viewers in her new PSA. "Never feel embarrassed or ashamed about the uniqueness that is you, because there are people out there to help. And we're all just human. And you can do it."

Learn more about depression and anxiety — and access the help you or your child deserve — at the Child Mind Institute.

children, depression, mind, mental health

Child Mind Institute is an organization changing children's lives.

childmind.org

The Child Mind Institute is an independent nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children struggling with mental health and learning disorders.


This story originally appeared on 5.2.2018



From Your Site Articles
mental health
Education

Why awkwardness is such a real thing for people everywhere and one big key to overcoming it

This is super helpful info for people who struggle with social anxiety.

Pragyan Bezbaruah/Canva

In our brains, awkwardness can feel as painful as being bullied.

Some people fear heights or small spaces, some fear spiders or snakes, and some fear illness or death. When taken to an extreme, such fears can form of an anxiety disorder, but they are understandable fears to have because any one of those things could theoretically spell our demise.

But what about fearing something that isn't physically dangerous at all, but rather psychologically uncomfortable, like…awkwardness?

For people with social anxiety, the fear of awkwardness is as real as the fear of death. "I'd rather cross a glass bridge over a 1,000-foot canyon than introduce myself to someone new" is a totally normal thought for a socially anxious person. The silences and pauses that mark most social interactions are magnified to painful degrees and the feelings of self-consciousness most of us experience in those moments are felt in extremes in the mind of a socially anxious person.

No one likes feeling awkward, of course, but why is it even a thing in the first place? What makes some interactions feel so uncomfortable to our brains? And more importantly, how do we overcome the fear of awkwardness, especially those who find themselves completely paralyzed by it?

The YouTube channel VSauce shared some of the science behind awkwardness, what's happening chemically and emotionally when we feel awkward and some of the perspective shifts that can help keep us from fixating on awkward feelings.

First, the video explains that awkwardness is actually a social good because our feelings of self-consciousness prompt us to avoid certain actions in ways that actual laws and formal etiquette don't.

"People who demonstrate self-consciousness when needed are communicating cooperative intentions, which helps them get along well with others," host Michael explains. "It's no coincidence that brains,susceptible to feeling occasional awkwardness, would become so common.They're successful at cooperating,at social life. Feeling awkward shows that you understand and are keen on smooth social exchanges.Now, too much or too little concern for social rules isn't healthy, but researchers found that just the right amount is great. When a person shows remorse or embarrassment or awkward discomfort, when appropriate,others perceive them as being more trustworthy, and their actions as more forgivable."

In other words, having the capacity to feel awkward actually makes us more likeable. So why does it feel so awful?

Our brains actually respond to awkwardness similarly to how they react to pain or name-calling, flowing along the same neural pathways, resulting in similar physical sensations and triggering our fight-or-flight response. (Thanks, evolution!)

But there are ways to tamp down our overreaction to awkward moments, which can be especially helpful for people who struggle with social anxiety. One reason awkwardness sticks with us so much is that we worry too much about what people are thinking about us, and social anxiety magnifies that worry. The more we realize that people aren't thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are, the more we can let awkward moments go.

In fact, there's a word for the realization that we are just extras in other people's stories, and not the main character—sonder. We are only the protagonist in our own lives. Other people are focused on their own lives.

"Acknowledging this makes your awkwardness look small," Michael says, adding, "But it also makes all of you look small. Tiny. A needle in a giant haystack." That's both a positive and a negative, but that perspective can help us in those moments when we're feeling the pain of awkwardness.

Watch:

You can follow VSauce for more insights on the human experience on YouTube here.

From Your Site Articles
psychology
Health

Woman’s shocking before-and-after pictures reveal the truth about panic attacks

Appearances aren’t always what they seem.

Amber Smith on Facebook.

Feeling good.

Last week, Amber Smith from Warwickshire, England, revealed something about herself that many of her Facebook friends didn't know:

She suffers from crippling panic attacks.

Smith shared her story by posting two completely different pictures of herself and the powerful imagery has been shared over 7,500 times.

"Top Picture: What I showcase to the world via social media. Dressed up, make-up done, filters galore. The 'normal' side to me.”

community, social media, selfie

Dressed up and ready.

Amber Smith on Facebook.

"Bottom picture: Taken tonight shortly after suffering from a panic attack because of my anxiety. Also, the 'normal' side to me that most people don't see."

panic attack, Facebook, Amber Smith

Suffering the panic attack.

Amber Smith on Facebook.

Full post:

God knows why I'm doing this, but people need some home truths..

Top picture: What I showcase to the world via social media. Dressed up, make up done, filters galore. The 'normal' side to me.
Bottom picture: Taken tonight shortly after suffering from a panic attack because of my anxiety. Also the 'normal'' side to me that most people don't see.

I'm so sick of the fact that it's 2016 and there is still so much stigma around mental health. It disgusts me that so many people are so uneducated and judgmental over the topic. They say that 1 in 3 people will suffer with a mental illness at some point in their life. 1 in 3! Do you know how many people that equates to worldwide?! And yet I've been battling with anxiety and depression for years and years and there's still people that make comments like 'you'll get over it', 'you don't need tablets, just be happier', 'you're too young to suffer with that'

F*** YOU. F*** all of you small minded people that think that because I physically look 'fine' that I'm not battling a monster inside my head every single day.

Someone actually said this to me one day 'aren't you too young to be suffering with anxiety and depression? What do you actually have to be depressed about at your age?'' Wow, just wow.

I'm a strong person, I've been through my fair share of crap in life (the same as anyone else) and I will be okay. I have the best family and friends around me and I am thankful everyday that they have the patience to help and support me.
To anyone who is going through the same, please do not suffer in silence. There is so much support around - Don't be scared to ask for help.

This is why I can't stress enough that it costs nothing to be nice to others. Don't bully others, don't put others down and the hardest one of them all (as we have all done it at some point) don't judge another person. We're all human regardless of age, race, religion, wealth, job. So build one another up instead of breaking each other down.
Peace & love guys

Smith's before-and-after photos perfectly symbolize how panic attacks feel, because they often come on without any warning. People suffering from attacks can experience shortness of breath, heart palpitations, trembling, hot and cold flashes or myriad other debilitating symptoms.

According to the National Institutes of Mental Health, over four million Americans suffer from panic attacks, and although they are emotionally debilitating, they can be overcome through cognitive/behavioral therapy. According to Thomas A. Richards, Ph. D, "Today, panic attacks and agoraphobia can be treated successfully with a motivated client and a knowledgeable therapist."


This article originally appeared on 09.26.17

From Your Site Articles
mental health
Family

Therapist shares the 15 ways kids show anxiety that can be easy to miss

Kids are always trying to communicate, even if that communication isn't clear.

@momtherapist/TikTok

Her cheat sheet became a great conversation starter.

Anxiety, jitters, nervousness…it all kinds of comes with the territory of being human, at least to a certain extent. That goes for kiddos too. Only children have the added challenge of not having all the necessary knowledge and tools to clearly express what they’re feeling on the inside.

But rest assured, kids are expressing themselves, in myriad ways.

According to therapist and mom of three Melissa Griffing, there could be as many as 15 different ways kids might be communicating their anxiety that parents are missing. And people are finding her list illuminating, to say the least.

“Did you know kids talk about anxiety in a whole heck of a bunch of different ways that parents often don’t pick up on? Here are 15 different ways that kids say, ‘I’m feeling worried,’” Griffing says in a now-viral clip posted to her TikTok.

Her first one, “my tummy hurts,” was one several could remember saying as kids. One person even shared, “my stomach hurt a lot when I was a kid. It was 1000% my anxiety.”

But that’s not the only bodily ailment that could reveal something about a child’s mental state. Griffing also listed “my legs hurt” and “my arms hurt” as potential markers of distress, although she added the caveat that these could also be growing pains.

And let’s not forget “I’m not hungry,” “I can’t sleep,” “I need to pee again” or “I think I’m getting sick.” These health related ones can be especially tricky to interpret since, of course, sometimes it really could be related to health issues. That’s why Griffing still encourages going to a doctor first to be sure.

Finally, hear are the last few phrases Griffing mentioned:

“I don’t wanna go to school.”

“I hate you.”

Asking “what-if” questions.

“I don’t know.”

“I just wanna stay with you.”

“Nobody wants to talk to me at school.”

“Nobody likes me.”

“I don’t like it.

@momtherapist Helping your kids manage their own anxiety part one. #therapy #childtherapists #tipsfromatherapist #dallastherapist #parenting #thewellcounseling ♬ original sound - Melissa

…and if these sound like completely mundane, everyday expressions, that’s kind of the point. They can indeed be very easy to miss—and many parents showed their surprise in the comments section.

“Damn my daughter has said every single one of these. Especially the sick thing” one parent wrote.

“By the time you hit number 9 I was in tears,” added another.

Understandably, parents who watched the video were eager for solutions. And Griffing was happy to offer some tips in a few follow-up videos. But really, the basis of all her advice is founded on strengthening emotional intelligence. This goes for parents being able to recognize when kids are displaying these difficult feelings, and being able to help kids develop their own ways of identifying and processing those feelings.

Some children’s books that she recommended for this (for the kiddos) are “What to do When You Worry Too Much” by Dawn Huebner and “There’s a Bully in my Brain” by Kristin O’Rourke.

Lastly, Griffing suggests that for the real “overworriers,” parents can teach them to focus a little less on those intrusive thoughts by dedicating 10-15 minutes a day to “worry time,” where parents can listen to all those worries (no solving, just listening).

And for any concerns that might be shared during the day, parent can gently redirect those thoughts towards the set up “worry time,” and distract with a more comforting or pleasant focus for that moment.

This teaches kids that worrisome thoughts do have a place…just not 24/7. A fantastic skill for anyone to develop, no doubt.

For more parenting tips from Griffing, follow her on her TikTok.

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mental health
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