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Military life has its ups and downs. Here's how families cope with it.

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When Meredith Lozar's daughter was just 3 and a half years old, her husband, Nick, came home from a tour of combat in Afghanistan.

He had been gone for nine months. During that time, Meredith did everything she could to keep their daughter connected to him — showing her photo albums and even giving her an old shirt of Nick's to sleep with at night.

But when Nick finally came home, instead of the joyful reunion one might expect, Meredith watched her husband freeze with fear.


"He stood at the threshold of her room afraid to go inside … he wasn't sure she would even remember him."

While Nick was afraid he had been forgotten, those fears would quickly turn to joy.

"[Our daughter] recognized him immediately," Meredith remembers. "While she did not go to him, she did kiss him on the cheek and say, 'Hi Daddy.'"

And that meant the world to him; it was a major step forward as their family reunited, got used to being together again, and recovered from the stress of deployment.

Of course, this wasn't Nick's first homecoming nor would it be his last. Over his 17-year career as a Marine, his family lived through eight deployments and five combat tours. And with each reunion, there came new complex emotions, anxieties, fears, pain, and, of course, joy at finally being back together. But that's the reality, Lozar says, of being a military family.

With the Fourth of July approaching, there's never been a better time to learn more about military families and their experiences. That's why we've created this list of 17 things military families want you to know about them.

Photo by Stephanie McCabe/Unsplash.

1. Reunions aren't always picture perfect.

Many of us have an image in our mind of how it plays out. A playful Labrador retriever tackles a man in military uniform, hardly able to contain excitement after months apart. Or a daughter is in tears as her mother, fresh off the plane in her combat boots, rushes to embrace her. After all, most of us have clicked on those emotional homecoming videos as they float across our newsfeeds.

But not every reunion goes down like that.

Photo by Jonathan Tajalle/Unsplash.

"I can tell you that it's not that easy," says Savannah Hewett, whose husband works as a security officer in the military.

Once, for example, she and her husband had been apart for 465 days. She had planned to surprise him at the airport only to find out that his deployment had suddenly been delayed by a week. Then, when that next week came, she had to wait over seven hours in the airport before she could finally embrace him.

2. Many families find ways to help their kids stay connected even while military members are away.

While separation can be difficult, there are creative ways that families stay connected to deployed loved ones. Some military members record a favorite bedtime story for their kids before deployment or create special photo albums. Even an old blanket or shirt can help a child feel comforted while mom or dad is away.

Photo by Bruno Nascimento/Unsplash.

3. Finally coming back home can be an adjustment.

When military members come back home, it can take time for a family to reintegrate after having spent so much time apart.

Hewett describes that separation as living "two separate lives" — hers back at home while she parents and tries to maintain some sense of normalcy and his defending their country overseas. For kids, especially some who might not totally understand why a parent left or were too young to remember, seeing those lives come back together can be challenging.

Thankfully, those transitional times are made easier by organizations like Blue Star Families, which focuses on providing support to military families, including free events for them. Even a day at a planetarium can make all the difference for a family that is newly reunited.

That's why Macy's is making it easy for all of us to support charities like Blue Star Families. As part of their July 4 Give Back campaign, if you donate $3 at checkout in stores or online, you'll receive 25% off your purchase and a portion of your donation goes to helping Blue Star Families with their mission.

Photo by Edward Cisneros/Unsplash.

4. Of course, being reunited isn't the end of the story.

As long as they are enlisted, military members are still at work — and work can mean multiple deployments. Since 2001, more than 900,000 children have experienced the deployment of one or both parents multiple times.

"They're still deploying to every clime and place, as is their job. And the unknowns and uncertainty that come along with that still exist," Lozar says. "We don't know, sometimes, when our service member will be home, and we don't always know what they're supporting. And that's all part of it."

5. Deployment isn't like any normal long distance relationship, either.

It can be easy to try and put yourself in a military spouse's shoes by remembering a time when you and your partner were long distance. It's just not the same thing, though. Spouses not only have to grapple with distance, they also have to cope with the anxiety of not knowing if their spouse will return safely and how an injury or loss could change their family's future.

6. Spouses trying to overcome that distance have to find ways to cope, which can mean getting a little creative.

It's not uncommon to go months without hearing from a service member, particularly if they're in active combat or special forces. Even a phone call or a letter home isn't guaranteed to come with any regularity, which means that every time there's breaking news about an attack, many families are left feeling helpless, not knowing if their military members are safe and dreading the worst.

That said, as technology has evolved, many military spouses have found new ways to stay connected. For military members with access to WiFi, virtual dates have become much more common thanks to platforms like Skype. So while the distance can be difficult, when spouses finally reconnect, seeing their loved one's face is priceless.

Photo by Hanny Naibaho/Unsplash.

7. All this time alone though means that some military families can start to feel isolated.

In fact, according to a survey conducted by Blue Star Families, more than half of military families feel they do not belong in their civilian communities.

"The price of war runs so much deeper than what I think most civilians realize," Hewett explains. While trying to lead their own lives and fit into their new communities, they also have to deal with having a loved one at war while parenting alone — and it can take a toll.

That's why Lozar works as Blue Star Families' connected communities manager, helping military families better integrate into their communities.

8. This isolation isn't helped by the fact that they have to move a lot.

According to the Blue Star Families annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey, 72% of military families live in their communities for two years or less before moving, which means they don't get enough time to really form any deep connections with their communities.

It also means that the average military kid will have attended anywhere between six to nine schools by the time they're a senior in high school. If you've ever been the new kid on the block or in class — not knowing where to sit at lunch or how to make new friends — imagine the emotional roller coaster that comes with being that kid every two years.

However, according to Hewett, many military families can be fortunate enough to move together, so families that developed close ties on one base may wind up making the same move to another.

9. But that's just one of many sacrifices military kids make.

All the bedtime stories, birthdays, holidays, graduations, and sports games missed can take their toll. And the very real confusion, fear, and even anger over a parent's absence, however noble that absence might be, means that these kids can struggle with their mental health a lot more than their civilian peers.

That said, with the right support, military kids can thrive. As with any mental health challenge, early intervention is key to ensuring youth have the resources they need to succeed.

Photo by Frank McKenna/Unsplash.

10. Spouses make their own sacrifices too, including professional ones.

The military wife staring wistfully out of a window waiting for her husband to return is a stereotype. Being a military spouse simply isn't a full-time job.

In fact, a second source of income is very important to many military families, who may find that a military income isn't sufficient to support them. Not to mention, spouses often have career aspirations of their own, and those aspirations can sustain them while their partners are away.

11. Unfortunately military spouses can have a tough time getting hired.

The military spouse unemployment rate is estimated to be at least four times higher than the civilian rate. Because they often move frequently, their resumes can look a little different, with positions held for short periods of time or gaps when jobs were difficult to secure. That leads to many spouses remaining unemployed, underemployed, or taking on volunteer roles instead.

"[Employers] know they're going to move in a couple years or a couple months," says Hewett, who knows this issue all too well, having struggled herself to find meaningful work. That's why she decided, after being unable to secure flexible work that fit into her family's unpredictable schedule, to volunteer as the president of New Mexico's Blue Star Families chapter to support families like hers.

Photo by rawpixel/Unsplash.

Luckily, though, this is starting to change. Many companies are starting to make it a priority to hire military members and their spouses.

12. However, securing reliable childcare can be a challenge.

Spouses also struggle to land work because securing childcare can be difficult. "It's very challenging for us because our service member doesn't have [predictable] hours," Hewett explains.

It's difficult to know when you'll need a sitter if your spouse is called to the base at the last minute, deploys with little time to prepare, or picks up an extra shift unexpectedly. "Often times, as the spouse, we are [both parents], at unexpected times and for long periods of times," Hewett says.

And even when you finally figure out a good system, you'll likely be moving again and have to start over. That's why assistance programs and day cares that offer subsidized care for military families are so crucial.

13. Housing can be tricky, but it's not all bad.

Obviously if you're moving frequently, you can't really buy a house and expect to live there forever. And with some military bases being very isolated, many families are faced with a difficult decision. They could live on base and take whatever the military is willing to provide, choose a location that isn't near much of anything, or live entirely separate lives from their spouses until they can reunite again.

However, there are great aspects to living on base. Depending on where you're stationed, some bases have campgrounds, community events, dancing, youth centers, arts and crafts centers, libraries, and bowling alleys. What's more, many military families develop close bonds to other families in the area, creating an important sense of camaraderie.

14. There are a lot of misconceptions about their families — and the stereotypes hurt.

Infographic via Upworthy.

15. And that's why, even with support from other military families, veterans need their civilian communities more than ever.

Photo by Benjamin Faust/Unsplash.

Studies are showing that many veterans struggle with loneliness, with vets reporting that their spouses are often their sole confidants.

With social and community support, as well as a little education, the mental health of military families could improve significantly. "Even one connection is all it takes to help a military family feel less isolated," Lozar says.

16. Thankfully, that connection is something any one of us could offer.

Lozar says that being neighborly can make all the difference. "Military families want to be more involved in their neighborhoods," Lozar explains.

"Be a good neighbor and go over and say hello," she continues. "Help that person feel more welcome."

Photo by Brandon Morgan/Unsplash.

Beyond a simple hello, support could look like volunteering with organizations like Blue Star Families, offering free child care to a local military family that's struggling, helping those families connect with sports teams or clubs for their kids, and encouraging schools to reach out to new military families to get them more involved.

17. Even with these sacrifices, it doesn't mean that military families regret their decision.

"There's a lot of hardship, but there's also a lot of good things, too. We have the opportunity to travel. We meet people all over the world," Hewett says. "And somehow [the military becomes] your family."

For families like Hewett's, there is pride in knowing that they've contributed to something bigger than themselves.

"I don't think anybody would regret being a military family," she continues. "[We have] a higher purpose. There is something far greater than us that's going on that we're a part of."

Salute those who serve by donating at Macy's to organizations that support veteran and military families from June 28 to July 8.

Pets

Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.


dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! 🐶❤️Photo credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

Jane Goodall leaves behind hope and survival guide for trying times

Jane Goodall was a wildlife conservationist, zoologist, and anthropologist. Her incredible career spanned multiple decades, resulting in the scientific community and animal lovers alike having a deeper, more thorough understanding of chimpanzees. The conservationist is most famous for living amongst the Gombe National Park (previously Gombe Stream Game Reserve) in Tanzania.

The anthropologist's approach to wildlife conservation was solidified when she founded the Jane Goodall Institute, where she expanded her work to include global advocacy "for human rights, animal welfare, species and environmental protection, and many other crucial issues," according to the institute's website. In their long tribute to Dr. Goodall, the institute reveals that the scientist dreamed about writing books about her work with animals since she was a child. A dream that came true, as the now late conservationist authored over 25 books.


Jane Goodall; hope; surviving trying times; survival guide; chimpanzees; Jane Goodall Institute Smiling woman with grey hair and blue shirt.Nikeush/Wikimedia

Goodall passed away from natural causes in October 2025 while on a speaking tour. She was 91 years old and still extremely involved in the work that has defined her life. While the humanist wrote books for children and adults, her final book, written in 2021 with Douglas Abrams and Gail Hudson, was left behind as a reminder of hope in hard times. The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times just might be one of the most treasured gifts one human can leave for humanity. It's fitting that Goodall helped author it.

Within the pages of the book, Goodall lists four reasons for hope: human intellect, the resilience of nature, the power of young people, and the indomitable human spirit. In the book, Goodall drives home the point that even in the most trying times, hope isn't something that happens blindly.

Jane Goodall; hope; surviving trying times; survival guide; chimpanzees; Jane Goodall Institute Discussion of chimpanzee behavior with an iconic photograph backdrop.World Economic Forum/Flickr

“Hope is often misunderstood. People tend to think that it is simply passive wishful thinking: I hope something will happen but I’m not going to do anything about it. This is indeed the opposite of real hope, which requires action and engagement,” she says.

In response to the back-and-forth dialogue between Goodall and Abrams in the book, Abrams explains the zoologist's approach to hope by adding, "She says that people who wonder how you can have hope in seemingly hopeless situations, like a death camp, confuse hope with idealism. Idealism expects everything to be fair or easy or good. She says it's a defense mechanism not unlike denial or delusion. Hope, she says, does not deny the evil but is a response to it. I was beginning to see that hope was not just wishful thinking. It did take the facts and the obstacles into account, but it did not let them overwhelm or stop us. Certainly, this was true in many seemingly hopeless situations.”

Hope is a theme throughout a lot of Goodall's writings and interviews. When speaking to Democracy Now in 2016, she was asked how one person can make a difference, and her response may help others who feel as if they've been working towards change without reward or results.

"Well, the thing is, it's not about one person. Can they make a difference? Everybody, every day, does make a difference. And if we think about the consequences of the choices we make, what we buy, what we eat, what we wear, and we start making the right ethical choices, then when that's multiplied by a thousand, a million, a billion, several billion times, and we see the world moving towards change. So the most important thing is to give people hope."

Photo Credit: Canva

A person stands out in a crowd.

So many of us have the desire to compartmentalize our personality traits into neat little boxes. "Oh, she's such an INFJ. Oh, he's such a Gemini." Some of it is rooted (well sort of) in psychology, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, based loosely on Jungian ideas. Others rely on arguably less scientific data like stars and "rising signs." Humans aren't usually that simple.

That said, there's still value in understanding one's own personality and inclinations. Here's a confession: I've taken countless personality tests because I just couldn't figure out if I was an extrovert or an introvert. Neither description quite fit, and as someone constantly trying to understand what makes me tick, this has been frustrating.


Turns out, there are other options. The term "ambivert" got popularized in the 1930s (after being coined by Edmund S. Conklin in 1923), and it refers to a person "who has features of both an introvert (someone who prefers to spend time alone) and an extrovert (someone who prefers to be with other people) in their personality."

@tedtoks

Replying to @Factura🛄 now knowing what an ambivert is, how would you describe yourself? #ambivert #introvert #extrovert #adamgrant #psychology #TEDTalk #worklife

But for those who still don't quite relate, meet the otrovert. Just recently, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski published The Gift of Not Belonging, in which he discusses his coined term to describe a whole new type of personality. In an Insta-reel captioned "What is an Otrovert?" Kaminski mentions the polarization of introverts and extroverts. "When Jung invented the terms extrovert and introvert, he saw them as two fundamental orientations of the personality. I see the otrovert in the same way. A personality trait that faces away from the group."

He continues, "Extroverts and introverts are inherently communal, while the otrovert is an outsider to the group. In itself, it is not a problem or condition, nor is it a diagnostic label. It simply means that while most people learn to develop a sense of belonging to a specific group through social conditioning, otroverts remain social but not communal."

In writer Sarjna Rai's piece, "Struggle to Fit the Mold? The 'Otrovert' Personality Explains Why" for Business Standard, they write: "Unlike introverts or extroverts, otroverts are not defined by where they draw their social energy. Instead, the concept captures people who constantly feel like outsiders, and tend to look in a different direction altogether, not necessarily aligned with the rest of the group."

While it's impossible to group people into perfect categories, Rai explains that Kaminski claims the main thing that sets otroverts apart is their "reluctance to conform to group norms."

Writer Avery White lists signs one might be an otrovert in the article "7 Signs You Might Be an Otrovert" for VegOut. Among them is preferring "high-signal conversations and low-maintenance relationships." They give this as an example: "You’ll happily spend three hours exploring one idea with one person—and then not speak for weeks without either of you taking it personally. In other words, low pressure, low expectations, high connection.

Another on the list—and this is a big one according to Kaminski—is: "You can look extroverted in public—yet feel fundamentally 'other.'" This is actually the crux of the term, and in fact, what Kaminski formed The Otherness Institute for: as their website says, "those who feel they don't belong."

The site also shares that recognizing aspects of this type in yourself and others (if it applies) will help "balance between your individuality and your function as part of the social matrix that determines your well-being. The experience of otherness in a togetherness-minded world can be emotionally bruising. Often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, otherness may lead individuals to feel strange, lonely, and unwelcome in groups. Left unidentified, otroverts' non-belonging can result in a frustrating, futile lifetime effort of trying to 'fit in.'"

Some Redditors are scrambling to figure out if they fit into this category. In the subreddit r/INTP (referencing one of the Myers-Briggs personality types), the OP asks, "Maybe I am an 'otrovert?'" Under this, they write, "Dr. Kaminski described the otrovert child as 'neurotypical, friendly, curious, well-adjusted, and often popular' yet 'they resist being pressured into group activities.'"

While this can seem inconsequential in childhood, joining the peer group "becomes critically important" in adolescence, said the psychiatrist, and teens "start to gauge their self-worth based on the group’s ranking of popularity (or unpopularity).'

"Membership in a group, no matter how lowly, is better than being an outsider," he added. "Otroverts, however, are comfortable with being outsiders and find it impossible to feel like insiders, regardless of how welcome they are.'

There are a handful of commenters who feel seen, but many push back, claiming the term could easily apply to other personality traits. One writes, "I think it's easy to resonate with this description... but as some warning noted, there aren't enough studies done about this term that people should be running to adopt it. I resonated with it after reading about it... But I have ADHD and persistent depressive disorder... both of which coincide with the descriptions of an otrovert."

Time will tell if this new term sticks, but for now, it's helping a lot of people feel more understood.


Image via Canva/Zinkevych

People share their absolute favorite words.

Without words, communicating with each other would be a lot more difficult. According to Merriam Webster, there are estimated to be about one million words in the English language (although there is no official count).

Some words are simply pure joy to say, like onomatopoeia—words that are a vocal imitation of the sound they are associated with it, such as "buzz" or "hiss." While other words hold special meaning or a silly backstory, some words can make you physically cringe.


Over on Reddit, linguistics lovers and grammar enthusiasts created a rich conversation delving into words that just hit. Here are 43 words that they absolutely adore:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Everybody has a favorite word. I have 2. Falafel & wicker. Just because they're fun to say." - AngelicDaemon420

"Onomatopoeia because of it's cadence and the idea of a word sounding like the thing it describes. It's like poetry in my ears." - MuckleRucker3

"I could never pick just one. There's like a top 10 or top 20. Some of them are starling, decanted, apoplectic, crestfallen, hubris." - rgtgd

"Scallywag and crocodilian are two of my favorite words. Also, the name Talleyrand is also great." - Hoppy_Croaklightly

"Cahoots." - looking4truffle

"Spleen and squeegee. They're both just fun." - scipio0421

"Indubitably and brouhaha." - lucidwrld4

"Mellifluous. Mellifluous means flowing like honey, Latin origin." AshevilleRen, Pristine-Pen-9885

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Petrichor. I just find it so niche and precise." - dreamrock

"Facetious and abstemious because they both have all the vowels, in order. But I also like discombobulated, just because." - Horror_Bake4106

"When I was a teenager, my favorite word was spaghettification (what they believe happens inside a black hole). Now I lean towards onomatopoeia." - illizzilly

"Murmuration and defenestrate, for both the way they sound and their meanings." - jeekle

"Plethora. It means a lot to me." - Fosad

"Entendre, it just flows nicely. Also a fan of juxtaposition for the same reasons. No meaning, simply phonetic." - duh_nom_yar

"Tomfoolery. It's just so old-timey, as in 'what manner of tomfoolery is this?' And it has never become trendy again..." - AuNaturellee

"Skedaddle makes me laugh when I say it. Schadenfreude.... I love German words." - Royal_Ad_6026

skedaddle, skedaddle gif, you better skedaddle, skedaddling, skedaddle funny skedaddle gif Giphy

"Defenestration! Because of course we need a specific term for being shoved out a window. Also sphygmomanometer, but medical terms seem like cheating." - aequorea-victoria

"Vapid, it just sounds vicious when used. Cacophony is another fun one to say. My all-time favorite to say is French for butterfly- papillon." - Familiar-Year-3454

"Serendipity and tranquil/tranquility. They both sound like exactly what they mean." - nutcracker_78

"Overmorrow. The day after tomorrow." - isobel-foulplay

"Rancor. It always sounds so badass when people say it." User Unknown

"Phosphorescent. It’s a shame you can’t work it into many conversations." - jnadols1

"I like how awkward 'awkward' looks." - Etherbeard

awkward, awkward gif, awkward word, awkward word, awk, awks Awkward Ed Helms GIF by The Office Giphy

"Luxuriate is a great verb with a great vibe :D." - LittleNanaJ

"I love the word 'dialectic'—both pronunciation and meaning." - Jedi_Temple

"Tintinnabulation. I remember learning this in junior high when we read Poe’s The Bells. It’s a great descriptor. His use of words to so clearly describe each type of bell fascinated young me. Tintinnabulation was a word I had never seen before. And since back in the dark ages we had to read aloud in class and memorize poems this word fascinated me. I fell in love with poetry because of this word." - ReadNapRepeat

Maybe it's not just men being lazy.

“I hate giving flowers because of how it makes me feel.”

This was a confession recently given by a man (Safe Elghorab) which turned into a very vulnerable, yet very insightful—not to mention very healthy—conversation about the connection between affection and masculinity.


“How does it make you feel? Let's talk about it!” responded his friend Yaqoub Adiver, a content creator who also posted the video.

“Just always ask why,” chimed in the third friend, Chui, from offscreen.

Elghorab then dived in, sharing how it feels “embarrassing” and totally unfamiliar since growing up, he never received flowers as a token of appreciation. Typically speaking, that’s a gift only bestowed upon girls.

“We didn't grow up with that type of love and affection,” Adiver affirmed, adding that now, in adulthood, it feels “out of character” to then go and show love in a way they were never taught exists.

“This ain't love for me,” he said.

Practical, basic necessities, on the other hand, like food, shelter, and clothes, feel “normal” and familiar. Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab discussed how food in particular, especially in POC communities, was a vital love language.

“That's the way of showing love or appreciation to someone coming into your home. Or even, within our cultures, if you're going to someone else's home, you usually bring something to share. That's the way of showing love for us in our culture,” said Chui.

That said, Elghorab didn’t hesitate to hold out a bouquet to Chui and tell his friend, “I got this type of love for you though.”

men, mens health, flowers, psychology, conversations, vulnerability, confessions, relationships A man hold flowersPhoto credit: Canva

It didn’t take long for this video to go viral on TikTok, with tons of people commending Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab for being able to have such an open and honest conversation.

“This is the kind of conversation men need to keep having with each other.”

“This is healthy masculinity 👏🏻”

“THE BOYS ARE HEALING 🥹🥹🥹”

“This is community. THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS. These are the type of relationships I had growing up and they helped shape me into a man and I’ll never forget those relationships ❤️

Another viewer said, “Let’s talk about the fact that there’s a group of young men preparing flowers and talking about it. Not just grabbing a random bouquet from a grocery store and giving it no thought. Appreciate you!!” making a nod to an age-old complaint among women.

However, keeping the previous conversation in mind, maybe it’s not that “no thought is given,” and rather, it’s just unfamiliar territory.

It’s clearly inspiring and refreshing to a lot of people that more and more men are getting vulnerable in this way. Not only because it gets them in touch with their feelings (a practice not commonly encouraged even a generation ago) but also offers the women in their life a new level of insight. Both factors encourage more understanding and compassion, which something the world desperately needs right now.

At a time when so many people raising young men are concerned about "redpilling," toxic masculinity, and reverting back to truly troubling patriarchal views in search of belonging, it’s comforting to know that not all hope is lost.