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How one man is helping at-risk youth by providing a place to do what they love.

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SoCal Honda Dealers

Nowadays, it feels like skate culture has become synonymous with Long Beach. But it wasn't always that way.

In fact, before the year 2000, Long Beach, California, didn't have a single skate park to its name. But Mike Donelon, a former city councilman, helped change that.

In 1996, Donelon noticed more and more kids around the neighborhood picking up skateboards. But they didn't have a safe — or even legal — place to skate. Kids ended up skating on private property or the streets most of the time, which led to them being ticketed by police or getting into serious accidents.


Donelon knew that if he could provide a proper venue for the kids to skate, they'd take full advantage of it.

All images via ASK, used with permission.

But many members of the community were against the idea. They latched on to negative stereotypes such as kids destroying property and thought more skating would lead to more crime.

"Most of the opposition was the unfounded negative impression of skateboarders," Donelon writes in an email.

But Donelon, who calls himself a "a rebel with a positive mission," had a plan to enlighten the naysayers: have the kids talk to the community themselves to highlight just how important this was to them.

The plan was a success. Says Donelon: "I was blown away by the kids' involvement. We would invite 25 kids to a meeting and 50 would show up."

The city listened. In time, the kids had a skate park they could call their own.

In 2000, Donelon helped open the El Dorado Skate Park to finally give kids a safe and legal place to do their thing. But soon after, Donelon saw that skate parks could have an even bigger effect in the community.

When he noticed kids from all over Long Beach traveling long distances to enjoy El Dorado Skate Park, Donelon realized that expanding the program and building more skate parks across the city — including in under-resourced areas — would engage at-risk youth unlike ever before.

In 2003, the Michael K. Green Skate Park was established.

The best part? After just three years, the city of Long Beach let Donelon know just how effective the skate park was. According to Donelon, drug-related incidents and violent crime have dropped in that neighborhood since the skate park was built.

To keep this incredible momentum rolling, Donelon then founded the Action Sports Kids Foundation (ASK), where he now serves as executive director.

Their main mission is to provide at-risk youth with an alternative to gang life through action sports, education, and community activities. And since day one, they've been flourishing.

Mike Donelon (left) and ASK team co-founder Alberth Mimila.

"Our team started with 8 kids in 2011," writes Donelon. "We now have 180 members with 60 that show up to our monthly meetings."

ASK also regularly invites guest speakers to share their wisdom — from the mayor to the police chief to professional skaters and their official teams. ASK even hosts fun events like best trick contests and field trips to other skate parks in the city.

Since its inception, ASK has undoubtedly played a major role in changing countless lives and establishing eight skate parks across Long Beach.

In fact, legendary pro skater Tony Hawk uses ASK as a model in his own foundation to show cities across the country just how effective a skate park program can really be.

"Skateboarding and skate parks give at risk youth a sense of belonging to something positive," Donelon writes. "It works and we are proof."

Donelon and Tony Hawk with the kids of ASK.

ASK welcomes anyone to come in and join their mission. All you need to do is reach out to them to let them know you're interested, and they'll find the perfect spot in their organization where you can help out. You can also attend any of their upcoming events to see how they're creating change firsthand.

If you're unable to work with them directly, though, there are so many other ways you can make a similar impact in your community. Whether it's becoming a mentor, throwing events to shine a light on important issues, or even reaching out to your local government about starting your own skate park, there are countless ways to follow ASK's incredible example.

At the end of the day, if there's anything that their story shows us, it's how creating lasting change in the community simply starts by listening to the people who make it so special.

Humor

Gen X mom reenacts 'coming home from school in the 80s' and it couldn't be more perfect

"This is why we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

Canva Photos

If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.

Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.

But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.


One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.

Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)

Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.

Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.

In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:

"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."

"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."

"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"

"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor music video 80s GIF Giphy

"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."

Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.

Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.

As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

Maybe it's not just men being lazy.

“I hate giving flowers because of how it makes me feel.”

This was a confession recently given by a man (Safe Elghorab) which turned into a very vulnerable, yet very insightful—not to mention very healthy—conversation about the connection between affection and masculinity.

“How does it make you feel? Let's talk about it!” responded his friend Yaqoub Adiver, a content creator who also posted the video.

“Just always ask why,” chimed in the third friend, Chui, from offscreen.

Elghorab then dived in, sharing how it feels “embarrassing” and totally unfamiliar since growing up, he never received flowers as a token of appreciation. Typically speaking, that’s a gift only bestowed upon girls.

“We didn't grow up with that type of love and affection,” Adiver affirmed, adding that now, in adulthood, it feels “out of character” to then go and show love in a way they were never taught exists.

“This ain't love for me,” he said.

Practical, basic necessities, on the other hand, like food, shelter, and clothes, feel “normal” and familiar. Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab discussed how food in particular, especially in POC communities, was a vital love language.

“That's the way of showing love or appreciation to someone coming into your home. Or even, within our cultures, if you're going to someone else's home, you usually bring something to share. That's the way of showing love for us in our culture,” said Chui.

That said, Elghorab didn’t hesitate to hold out a bouquet to Chui and tell his friend, “I got this type of love for you though.”

men, mens health, flowers, psychology, conversations, vulnerability, confessions, relationships A man hold flowersPhoto credit: Canva

It didn’t take long for this video to go viral on TikTok, with tons of people commending Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab for being able to have such an open and honest conversation.

“This is the kind of conversation men need to keep having with each other.”

“This is healthy masculinity 👏🏻”

“THE BOYS ARE HEALING 🥹🥹🥹”

“This is community. THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS. These are the type of relationships I had growing up and they helped shape me into a man and I’ll never forget those relationships ❤️

Another viewer said, “Let’s talk about the fact that there’s a group of young men preparing flowers and talking about it. Not just grabbing a random bouquet from a grocery store and giving it no thought. Appreciate you!!” making a nod to an age-old complaint among women.

However, keeping the previous conversation in mind, maybe it’s not that “no thought is given,” and rather, it’s just unfamiliar territory.

It’s clearly inspiring and refreshing to a lot of people that more and more men are getting vulnerable in this way. Not only because it gets them in touch with their feelings (a practice not commonly encouraged even a generation ago) but also offers the women in their life a new level of insight. Both factors encourage more understanding and compassion, which something the world desperately needs right now.

At a time when so many people raising young men are concerned about "redpilling," toxic masculinity, and reverting back to truly troubling patriarchal views in search of belonging, it’s comforting to know that not all hope is lost.

Pets

Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! 🐶❤️Photo credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

Curtesy of Marcos Alberti

Watch the emotional evolution of people after 1, 2 and, 3 glasses of wine

Having a glass of wine or two isn't uncommon for adults. Casual drinking in social situations acts as a social lubricant or just a tool to help some relax. Many people who partake in a glass of wine socially may not realize the physical changes that happen since it's generally not enough alcohol to cause intoxication. However, Brazilian photographer Marco Alberti begs to differ with his newly updated photography project, which photographs people before drinking and after consuming one, two, and then three glasses of wine.

The results of his "3 Glasses Down" project, which initially started as a joke between his friends, involved the photographer taking the same four sets of photos. The before-and-after pictures, along with the story of "three glasses," went viral, reaching over one million views on Imgur in the first week. That's what inspired Alberti to start taking photos of others.

The "3 Glasses Down" project, now known as "The Wine Project," has brought the photographer success, with his photos appearing across digital and traditional media outlets. Recently, he repeated the photography projects with all new subjects, and the images are just as convincing. One glass of wine does a little more than someone may think, and three glasses of wine cause the subject of the photo and viewers to break out in a smile.

Alberti tells the BBC that when he started the original project with his friends as the subjects, he had only recently discovered wine. "I just started drinking wine a month before this project," he explains to the outlet. "I was not used to drinking wine, so I thought of this project like a tribute. I need to do a tribute to wine because I just discovered how good it is, and the first idea that I have is to take pictures of my friends drinking, so, of course, it was funny to do. It was very nice to do it."

Since his initial catapulting into the spotlight with his photos of friends, he has refined the project and travels the world to capture the effects on others. His most recent project took place in New York.

On his website, he explains the process, saying, "The first picture was taken right away when our guests have just arrived at the studio to capture the stress and the fatigue after a full day after working all day long and from also facing rush hour traffic to get here. Only then fun time and my project could begin. At the end of every glass of wine, a snapshot, nothing fancy, a face and a wall, 3 times. People from all walks of life, music, art, fashion, dance, architecture, and advertising got together for a couple of nights, and by the end of the third glass, several smiles emerged, and many stories were told."

Once people start drinking, they become a little more chatty, so it's no surprise that Alberti heard some tales from his photography subjects. However, just like anything else, drinking should be done in moderation. While some studies suggest drinking red wine in moderation may have heart and other health benefits, the Mayo Clinic reminds people that more research is needed.

"But there might be other reasons for the lower risk of heart disease in people who drink red wine in moderation. For instance, they might eat a healthier diet and be more active than those who don't drink red wine. And they might have higher incomes and better access to health care as well," says the Mayo Clinic.

They also note that it's believed that the antioxidants in red wine are the main contributing factor to the wine having health benefits. The skin on the grapes contains those antioxidants, so the Mayo Clinic suggests eating grapes in place of wine if you're not a drinker.

Photo Credit: Canva

A young sad girl. A baby shark.

There are moments in time, loud and rowdy as they might be, that are reminders of the joyous, little snippets in life. Which is why it has been extra fun that a video from about five years ago has resurfaced, illustrating the best of humanity.

A young girl was on the metro in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. According to @Kidofthreads's recent viral clip on Threads, she was very upset. The caption reads, "This is boys will be boys" and "A little girl was crying, and some drunk friends cheered her up with Baby Shark" (According to a post on Reddit, they are drunkenly coming from a night at Carnival, circa sometime before COVID).


In the Threads video, a group of men—a few also in dresses, earrings, and one even a short wedding veil—go into full clown mode. In unison, and with total passion, they begin singing the notorious earworm, "Baby shark, Doo doo ta do ta do, Baby shark," over and over again. An enormous grin crosses her face and she even begins to sing along.

This is a less-than-a-minute view into how worlds can collide, bringing happiness to (most) everybody on that train. The men were having the best time making the girl, and many of the passengers, feel their joy, and it spread like wildfire.

The comments on Threads (within one day there were nearly 1,000) are interesting. Many of them note, of course, the pure delight. One beautifully shares, "Proof that kindness doesn’t need to be planned. A group of drunk friends turned a crying kid’s night around with Baby Shark. Sometimes strangers remind us the world still has magic."

A young girl is cheered up by men singing Baby Shark. www.youtube.com, Caters Videos

But quite a few also point out how nurturing these men are, challenging stereotypes. One writes, "When we say 'not all men,' this is who we’re referring to." Another adds, "This is what masculinity looks like when it's not toxic." And this one perfectly states, "‘Boys will be boys’ should refer to stuff like this. This is the goofiest, most wholesome thing I’ve ever watched."

On the Subreddit r/MadeMeSmile, hundreds of people commented on the "Baby Shark Metro" video. Many discuss the "happy drunkenness" of it all, but one Redditor shares a similarly heartwarming story: "I was new in Germany in 2016 when a bunch of FC Köln supporters went onto the tram. I was with my wife and my 2-year-old daughter at that time."

What happens next is adorable: "They were all super drunk and singing like there was no tomorrow. As they see my sleeping daughter in her stroller, they immediately stop shouting, but they keep singing — but in whisper. Just imagine dozens of muscular, tattooed football hooligans, drunk and singing soooo softly. I still remember that thing to this day."

- YouTube www.youtube.com