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Environmentalists call these 12 chemicals the Dirty Dozen. Here's why.

Warning: Abbreviations ahead!

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Seventh Generation

You may have heard of the Dirty Dozen — 12 chemicals that activists have identified as potentially harmful that we regularly come in contact with in our home, health, and beauty products.

Over the past decade, a lot of science and research has gone into figuring out the long- and short-term health effects of products we use in our homes and on our bodies. The jury is still out on most of them, but some of the findings are worth a closer look.

In 2010, Canada's David Suzuki Foundation did a study on the 12 chemicals and compounds they felt consumers should try to avoid. Since the study was published, some governments have banned some of the chemicals and some companies are reformulating their products so they don't contain them.


Are the Dirty Dozen hanging out in your home somewhere? Here's why these ingredients are on the list:

1. BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole) and BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene)

These two preservatives can be found in moisturizers and cream makeups. Image via iStock.

These two synthetic antioxidants are often used as preservatives in cosmetics (mostly lipsticks and moisturizers) and as food preservatives. They're also potentially allergenic, particularly on the skin.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer classifies BHA and BHT as possible human carcinogens, and the European Commission on Endocrine Disruptors lists BHA as a Category 1 priority substance, citing evidence that it interferes with hormone function in mice and rats.

Neither BHA nor BHT are restricted in the United States. California includes BHA on its list of chemicals that must be listed on product ingredient labels as potentially cancer-causing.

2. Coal tar dyes: p-phenylenediamine and colors listed as "CI" followed by a five-digit number

Coal tar (shown above) is a petroleum byproduct mixed with other chemicals. Image via iStock.

Coal tar dyes (chemical name p-phenylenediamine) are very popular in the cosmetic industry — particularly in hair dye — because they provide rich, long-lasting color. But, like a lot of petroleum-based products, some researchers and activists fear there may be health risks from exposure to them.

Research has linked coal tar dyes to tumors in laboratory mice, and other researchers may have found a connection between long-term use of hair dyes and non-Hodgkin lymphoma. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is unconvinced; it's waiting to see more research before making a firm decision on how to classify coal tar dyes.

The European Union (EU), by comparison, has taken a precautionary approach and classifies coal tar dyes as moderately toxic to humans.

Helpful hint: If you're looking at labels, you can tell if a coal tar dye is used in a product by looking for the the name p-phenylenediamine or the abbreviations FD&C or D&C followed by a five-digit color index number.

3. Diethanolamine (DEA), cocamide DEA, and lauramide DEA


Some shampoos get an extra kick from DEA. Image via iStock.

Consumers love creamy or sudsy personal care products. DEA helps with that. For personal care products, it's most common in moisturizers, sunscreens, and shampoos. As a cleaning product additive, it can be found in soaps and cleansers looking for an added bubbly kick.

Activists became concerned about DEA after some research found that DEA can cause skin and eye irritation, and some high doses have caused liver cancers in to laboratory animals. There are no restrictions on the use of DEA in the United States, but the EU does not allow its use in cosmetics, citing the risk of long-term exposure.

4. Dibutyl phthalate (DBP)

Some "no-chip" nail polishes may get their staying power from DBP. Image via iStock.

Dibutyl phthalate has lots of uses. It can keep nail polishes from chipping, help keep PVC flexible, and be a solvent for dyes or fragrances. The reason activists put it on the list of ingredients to keep an eye on is because in a laboratory study, researchers found it absorbs through the skin and can "enhance the capacity of other chemicals to cause mutations." Other research found it interfered with hormone function, maybe even for pregnant women. There's still a lot of research to be done, so the U.S. hasn't put any restrictions on DBP; the EU, though, does not allow it in cosmetic products.

5. Formaldehyde-releasing preservatives

These are medical sutures stored in formaldehyde, but lots of beauty and personal care products use chemicals that may release formaldehyde over time. Image via iStock.

Formaldehyde has a lot of uses in personal care, cleaning products, and industrial construction. It is found as a preservative in cosmetics and an active ingredient in some toilet bowl cleaners. It can also be released from a wide range of industrial products including some permanent-press fabrics and vinyl and wood-laminate flooring.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) limits the amount of formaldehyde in some construction materials because on its own, formaldehyde is a carcinogen and is toxic to humans if ingested.

When personal care products or cosmetics are said to contain formaldehyde, what they usually contain are actually formaldehyde-releasers. It's unclear whether they are harmful; the FDA doesn't restrict the use of them in cosmetics or personal care products, preferring to require disclosure on ingredient labels instead. The EU has strongly restricted the use of formaldehyde in industrial and consumer products since 2014, citing its carcinogenic risk.

6. Parabens

Parabens help some cosmetics stay pretty longer. They may also be dangerous. Image via iStock.

If you drink fruit juices or use cosmetics or fragrance products, you likely have encountered parabens, an extremely popular preservative.

Some activists are concerned by parabens, citing research that it potentially has adverse health risks when it's absorbed through the skin. Some studies have shown that parabens can mimic the effects of estrogen, the female sex hormone which could lead to a possible increase to breast cancer risk or potentially interfere with male reproductive function. Despite activists' concerns, more definitive research is needed.

7. Parfum (aka fragrance)

Lots of products use the catch-all terms parfum and fragrance for the proprietary mix of chemicals that make up their signature scents. Image via iStock.

Since there are no regulations requiring companies to disclose the ingredient lists of their signature scents, many of them simply say parfum or fragrance on the label. This can be misleading because the smells that make up a fragrance can come from any number of essential oils or chemical compounds.

For people with chemical sensitivities, these unlisted ingredients can trigger allergic reactions, migraines, or cause asthma. Environment Canada has also found that some synthetic musks used in fragrances can build up in the fatty tissue of fish and other water-bound organisms. Other fragrance additives, like DEP (see #4 above) help scents stay in the air longer, but have been shown in laboratory environments to potentially interrupt hormone functions.

Unfortunately, it is hard to know whether a specific fragrance or parfum contains potentially unsafe ingredients. If companies say their product fragrance is a trade secret, they aren't required to list what's in it on the ingredient label.

8. Polyethylene glycol (PEG)

PEG compounds can be found in some cosmetic cream bases — and laxatives. Image via iStock.

Polyethylene glycols are petroleum compounds most often found helping makeup and face creams deliver moisture. If perfectly pure, they are considered generally safe, though they're not recommended for use on broken skin. In rare cases, polyethylene glycol compounds can become contaminated with ethylene oxide, and that's when activists get concerned. Ethylene oxide is a known carcinogen that has also been shown in some research environments to cause developmental problems. All of this considered, the Environmental Working Group rates the overall hazard of using polyethylene glycols as "low."

9. Petrolatum (aka petroleum jelly or Vaseline)

Some glossy lipsticks get their shine from petrolatum. Image via iStock.

Tyra Banks swears by mineral oil jelly as her holy grail makeup product. It's an excellent moisture barrier to keep skin hydrated and is often added to skin care and hair care products.

But, because it is petroleum-based, there's a risk it could be contaminated with polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons. Research has shown a link between long-term exposure to these petroleum byproducts and cancer. Based on that evidence, the EU classifies petrolatum as a carcinogen and only allows its use "if the full refining history is known and it can be shown that the substance from which it is produced is not a carcinogen." There are no such restrictions in the United States at the moment.

10. Siloxanes

Siloxanes are a group of chemical compounds based on silicone, a popular additive in many cosmetics and personal care products. Image via iStock.

If you like a clean windshield, dry underarms, or a smooth makeup base, you've probably used products containing siloxane. Two siloxanes in particular, cyclotetrasiloxane (D4) and cylcopentasiloxane (D5), have been studied by researchers in Canada and the EU extensively.

Environment Canada concluded that both D4 and D5 may build up in fish or other aquatic organisms but did not pose a threat to human health. The European study reached a similar conclusion, rating the chemicals as "high concern" but of no risk to human health.

11. Sodium laureth sulfate

Sodium laureth sulfate helps some shampoos stay foamier for longer. Image via iStock.

If you like lots of bubbles when you wash dishes or use shampoo, you may have sodium laureth sulfate to thank. It's a common foaming agent used in dish soaps, cleansers, and foamy beauty products. But, like polyethylene glycol (#8 on this list), sodium laureth sulfate can — on rare occasions — become contaminated with the known carcinogen ethylene oxide. Fortunately that's very unlikely to happen, so the Environmental Working Group rates the overall hazard of sodium laureth sulfate as "low."

12. Triclosan

Triclosan is an antibacterial chemical sometimes found in alcohol-based hand sanitizers. Image via iStock.

Triclosan is a very effective anti-bacterial chemical found in lots of common consumer products, including toothpaste, hand sanitizers, laundry detergent, and facial tissues, among others.

As we've written before, research has shown that triclosan sticks around in the environment long after we've finished using it, killing helpful algaes and even accumulating in the bodies of other organisms.

Triclosan was banned in personal care products ibanned in personal care products in the EU earlier this year. The EPA currently has it under review, and the FDA is reserving judgment until further research is done.

For a lot of these products, the research into their possible health impacts is still very new. Much is still to be done, and the definitive answers for what's safe and what's not may not be known for years — maybe even decades.

Until there is a scientific consensus, the smartest thing you can do for your health is what you're probably already doing: reading product labels, following warnings, and learning what companies are required to say (and sometimes don't say).

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.


"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

@brunchwithbabs

Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

great depression, the great depression, great depression recipes, great depression food, great depression recipe
Lewis Wickes Hine/Library of Congress, Dorothea Lange/Wikipedia

Recipes from the Great Depression to make today.

The Great Depression, which lasted from 1929-1939, caused economic turmoil worldwide. Families struggled to feed themselves, and went to extreme lengths to stretch food and utilize all available ingredients.

Known as the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their resourcefulness resulted in a number of creative (and delicious) recipes that remain relevant today. Home chefs and bakers shared their Great Depression recipes on Reddit that have been passed down and are still enjoyed today to help others get inventive and save money.


From soups and stews to cakes, these are 17 Great Depression recipes to try.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Soups, Stews and More

Beef and Noodles

"My grandmas go to: Bag of egg noodles 1 can of creamed corn 1 can Campbells chicken noodle soup 1 lb ground beef. Salt and pepper to taste. Brown ground beef, add all other ingredients, add enough water or light chicken stock to cover noodles if needed. Bring to boil, and reduce to a simmer for about 15 minutes, take off the heat and let it rest 10 minutes before serving with buttered white bread. I still make this to this day. My kids loved it too. Basically homemade Hamburger Helper." - -__Doc__-

Hoover Stew

Ingredients

1 box noodles
A can of tomatoes
1 package of hot dogs, or 1 can of sausage or meat
A can of corn, peas or beans
2-4 cups water

Instructions

"Mix all ingredients together in a pot until boiling. Then simmer for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are tender. If you have aromatics, onion and garlic would be a great addition. If not, the recipe is great as is." - Josuaross54

Zaprezna soup

"Depression soup... make a roux, add salt pepper and caraway seeds. Add water to make a thick soup texture. Use an egg or two mixed with flour and salt pepper and mix together to make dumplings.. drop into the soup to cook.. This was called zaprezna soup or depression soup. We ate it often in the 60's after my dad abandoned us. Money was short but this soup was good." - User Unknown

Chipped Beef On Toast

Ingredients

8 oz. dried beef jerky
2 tbsp butter or oil
4 tbsp flour
4 cups milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Sliced homemade bread, for serving

Instructions

"Add jerky and oil to a pan over medium heat. Cook until the meat softens, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in your flour and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add milk and bring to a low boil. Allow sauce to thicken for up to 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper if you have it. Serve over homemade bread, toasted if desired." - Josuaross54

Rivel Soup

"In Ohio…My mom would cook Rivel Soup when I was a kid in 80s and 90s. She still makes it. It’s milk based with flour dough balls in it. I hate it. Sometimes they would fry potatoes and put them in the soup." - Vegetable_Record_855

Potato Soup

Ingredients

4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced (or 2 cans of potatoes)
2 garlic cloves, chopped
One carrot, sliced
A can of meat, sausage, or hot dogs (optional)
3 cups water or stock
3 cups milk
Any herbs you have on-hand
Salt to taste

Instructions

"Slice all your potatoes, garlic, and carrots. Add to a soup pot with the meat, water, and milk. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, keeping the mix at a low simmer. Then, cook for 30 minutes until all veggies are tender. Add herbs and salt, if using. Serve hot." - Josuaross54

Tuna Fish Stew

"My mother's family always made tuna fish stew. It is celery, potatoes, canned tuna fish, milk, and hard boiled eggs. Sautee the celery until half way cooked, throw in some chopped potatoes and water. Cook until the potatoes are done. Thin the stew with some milk. Throw in chopped hard boil eggs. Salt and pepper to taste Serve over stale bread. It was cheap, quick, and really filling." - RoseNoire4

@foodwanderer

Great Depression Cooking Recipe #greatdepression #recipe #cooking #frugalmeals #cookingonabudget #nostalgia #friedpotatoes #hotdogs #foodwanderer #tastetest #SplashSummerVibe

Sides

Baked Beans

Ingredients

1 package soaked dried beans, or 2 cans of beans
One tomato, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp lard
Two tbsp molasses
One cup water

Instructions
"Soak your beans, if using dried, overnight and drain the liquid. Prepare your veggies by chopping. Omit any vegetable that you do not have on-hand. Add lard to a stock pot and cook your vegetables until tender. Add the beans, molasses, and water. Cook all together with a lid on for 2-3 hours or until the beans have your desired consistency. Add more water if needed.

Milk Potatoes

"Milk potatoes. Fry sliced potatoes with salt, pepper and a bit of onion until almost done. Pour milk over potatoes and simmer until potatoes are cooked through." - kms811•6y ago

Ash Cakes

"Ash cakes got their name because different renditions are cooked in the hot white ash of your campfire. These are only 3 ingredients but are filling and have a great texture.

Ingredients

½ cup cornmeal
1 cup meat stock or water
2 tbsp lard or grease

Instructions
Mix both ingredients together in a bowl and allow to sit overnight to hydrate the cornmeal. Pat into a bread pan and refrigerate or add to your cool storage before allowing to set up. The next day, slice into 1-inch slices and fry in melted lard. Serve hot and crispy." - Josuaross54

Sweets

Potato Donuts

"Potato donuts 🍩 from depression era cooking with Dylan Hollis." - BainbridgeBorn

Wacky Cake

"If you have interest in baking, make a wacky cake. It’s a chocolate cake that has no milk, butter, or eggs, because those items were scarce during the Depression, but it is so good! The recipe I linked has more steps, but I’ve known a lot of people to literally just dump and mix everything in the baking dish." - gwhite81218

@bdylanhollis

The cake without butter, eggs or milk #baking #vintage #cooking #cake

Rice Pudding

Ingredients

1 cup rice
2 cups milk
2 tbsp butter
3 tbsp honey, maple syrup, or molasses
Pinch of cinnamon

"Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook over low heat, about 20 minutes, stirring frequently. Taste for doneness and cook an additional 5 minutes, tasting until desired consistency. Serve warm." - Josuaross54

Tomato Soup Cake

"Tomato soup cake." - AxelCanin

Water Pie

"Water pie 😋😍." - AxelCanin

Mock Apple Pie

"There was a thing for 'apple' pie made with Ritz crackers my grandmother made some time ago (she was born 1901 so def Depression life).https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9545/mock-apple-pie/ That recipe looks more complicated than the one grandma made, but there are a number of recipes online for it, including one made by Ritz, on the box." - User Unknown

Hard Time Pudding

"Batter: 1 cup flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup raisins (Optional, I hate them)
3 tsp Baking powder
1/2 cup water
Syrup: 1 1/2 cup Brown sugar
1 TBSP. butter/marg.
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 - 2 cup water

Mix together flour, sugar, raisins, Baking powder, and water. Pour into a baking dish. In a sauce pan combine brown sugar, butter, water bring to boil then add vanilla and pour over the batter. Bake at 300 º for 1/2 hour." - MsBean18

Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.
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Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.


He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

“Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.


Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

Changing the journey for a new generation

Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

“My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

“Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

“For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

Writing a new ending

After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

“Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

Learning

Communications expert shares 3 simple tricks to stop oversharing during conversations

Say goodbye to staring at your ceiling at 3 a.m. thinking about something embarrassing you said weeks ago.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations

Communication expert says these tricks can help you stop oversharing

People do all sorts of things when they're nervous during a conversation. Some people fidget, others avoid eye contact, and others get red and blotchy on their chest and neck. Then, there are also those who share way too much information at inappropriate times due to stress, nervousness, or simply being neurodivergent. Oversharing often results in feelings of embarrassment, which can result in more nervousness in the moment.

A lot of oversharing is involuntary, leaving people wondering how they can save their sanity by not doing it to begin with. Jefferson Fisher, a communications expert, has the solution for people struggling with chronic oversharing. We've all been there, even if it's not something that happens frequently. There's a moment of awkward silence, and you attempt to fill it, only to tell a story better suited for a group of friends, not a work function.


After oversharing occurs, it's often quickly followed by its best friend—overthinking. Overthinking brings along anxiety, which can drag insomnia into the mix, becoming a party of unwanted guests. But Fisher claims a few of his tricks will stop unwanted words from falling out of your mouth in no time.

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a moment in the sunlit park.Photo credit: Canva

In the brief video uploaded to YouTube, Fisher lists how to combat the inclination to overshare:

1. Balance the conversation

Estimate the amount of time it took for the person you're speaking with to share information with you, then try to match the time when you share. Fisher says, "If you are taking double the amount of time that somebody used, meaning your two to their one, well then the conversation is unbalanced, and you're probably talking too much."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Feeling the stress: A young woman holds her head in frustration.Photo credit: Canva

2. Set a mental word limit

Fisher says to avoid talking too much and subsequently oversharing, practice only using three to four sentences to say what needs to be said. This will help you avoid dominating the conversation or accidentally sharing too much information in the wrong setting. "If the other person wants to know more, well, they can ask," Fisher explains.

3. Watch for cues

"If you're saying too much, the other person is going to start looking disinterested," Fisher says. "They're going to look bored, they're going to have lack of contact, and that's a great place for you to just ask a question, any question. Because it forces you to stop talking."

oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a laugh over coffee at a cozy café.Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to handling the embarrassment or guilt that can come from oversharing, Happiful shares how to help alleviate the vulnerability hangover, writing, "In situations where you begin noticing that pit in your stomach of regret or embarrassment about oversharing, talk about it with the person you just opened up to. It could be as simple as acknowledging it, which can diffuse any tension you feel and resolve any awkwardness."

Using grounding techniques like breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or doing something physical can all help alleviate the feelings that come from oversharing. Writing about your feelings in a journal or even chatting with a friend who understands your oversharing struggle can go a long way when it comes to reducing anxiety from sharing too much information.

No matter the reason for oversharing, using the simple techniques above just might do the trick to reduce the habit.

french, paris, france, love, romance, Eiffel Tower
Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A couple embrace. The Eiffel Tower

Leave it to the French to have the most beautiful, sexy, and sometimes non-translatable terms and phrases of endearment.

Their association with romance makes it extra ironic that the French don't often say "I love you" (or "Je t'aime"). At least according to BBC Features Correspondent Sylvia Sabes in her 2021 article, "Why the French rarely say 'I love you."


Sabes suggests that words this important shouldn't just be thrown around: "The French don't say 'I love you' because they don't have a verb to express heartfelt sentiments for the people they care about. There is only the verb 'aimer,' which means both 'to like' and 'to love.' As a result, a French person is not exaggerating when they conjugate 'aimer' to explain their relationship to rugby, a warm baguette, or the smell of lilacs."

lilacs, flowers, love, amour, beauty Close up of lilac flowers. Photo by Olha Suntsova on Unsplash

For this reason, they don't dilute the words "I love you" as often as one might think. "Naturally, then, it feels trite and rather mundane to use the same word when describing intense feelings of love for one's newborn baby, a childhood friend, or a life partner."

She further notes that the French "show" their love. (In fact, even the very words "flattery," "chivalry," and "romantic" all stem from Old French words— flatterie, chevalerie, and romantique, respectively.)

And this includes finding specific wording to show their romantic love. From literary geniuses like Victor Hugo to everyday romantics, here are some French quotes sure to grab (the right person's) attention:

"Je t’envoie l’éternité dans une minute"

Translation: I’m sending you eternity in a minute.

For the complete context of the sentence, Victor Hugo wrote in an unpublished manuscript Lettre à Léonie Biard:
"Je n'ai qu'un instant. Je t'envoie l'éternité dans une minute, l'infini dans un mot, tout mon cœur dans : je t'aime."

Translation: "I only have a moment. I’m sending you eternity in a minute, infinity in a word, all my heart in: I love you."

This was written to Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet, a woman with whom Hugo had a scandalous affair. Once they were caught, she was arrested and sent to prison.

"Un seul être vous manque, et tout est dépeuplé"

Translation: "Only one person is missing, and the world is depopulated (empty.)"

On the subreddit r/French, someone asks for French "love quotes/sentences" for a letter they're writing for an anniversary. Regarding their boyfriend, they write in part, "Our 9th anniversary is coming next month and I want to write him a letter, but I want to include some cute and/or romantic quotes or sentences in French, no matter how silly or cheesy, so he can try to translate them and I watch him go happy puppy mode again hehe."

Many came through. One suggests this line from poet Alphonse de Lamartine—meaning, "without just one person, the world feels empty."


"Tu m'as manqué dans mes rêves"

Translation: I missed you in my dreams.

I learned this one in high school French class, and what I loved is our teacher taught us we could say it to anyone — romantic partners, puppies, and friends. (Probably best not to say it to our French teachers, however.)


"Je vous aime éperdument et je vous le dis et je vous le répète, mes mots l'expriment, mes baisers le prouvent, et quand j'ai fini… je recommence."

Translation: "I love you madly and I tell you so and I repeat it, my words express it, my kisses prove it, and when I'm done… I start over."

While this is a rather long one to memorize, it would be an excellent quote for a love letter. Victor Hugo's phrasing was so uniquely and devastatingly romantic, I had to quote him twice. Again, he wrote this in Lettre à Léonie Biard to his lover Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet.

"Tu me manques."

Translation: You miss me. (Or more precisely, you are missing from me.)

Again, I remember this expression from school. And the French-to-English translation can be a bit confusing and controversial.

There's an entire Reddit thread dedicated to this one sentence. The OP states, "So this phrase has always blown my mind. I understand that this expression means 'I miss you,' but that it literally translates to what is essentially 'You lack me.' Correct? If so, my first question is, why is this expression set up this way?"

Others explain the exact translation is more "You are missing from me" than "You miss me." One Redditor sums it up nicely: "The 'me' is an indirect object. Manquer is better understood here as 'to be missing' or 'lacking.' So it is more like 'you are missing/lacking/absent to me.' Your confusion is from approaching a French phrase using an English mindset."

In whatever mindset one might find themselves, these French phrases and quotes are sure to elevate the romance. At least, worth a shot!