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Modern Families

Military mom takes her son's 'battle buddy' on family weekend. Now she's his 'second mom.'

Unconventional families are one of the most important parts of modern military life.

Image via Canva

Mom welcomes son's battle buddy into family.

Military families are a rare breed. The selfless, intimate bond that they share is a unique experience. And for the families that support those in active duty military service, there is plenty of love to go around.

For military mom and TikToker @cocobutter801, that has meant rallying around her son who serves in the United States Army and his 'battle buddy'. When he needed a place to go on family weekend, she didn't hesitate for a second to open her home to him.

Her actions go beyond hospitality. To her, her son's battle buddy is family. "Here's your sign to take in your son's battle buddy on family weekend," she writes in the video's caption.

@cocobutter801

I came here for one son and left with two. #miltary #militarymom #family #son #battlebuddy #hooah #fyp

In the emotional clip that is set to Pearl Clarkin's song "Military Man", the mom can be seen standing next to her car, ready to bring her son home for the weekend. The two share a big hug, and her son is dressed in his fatigues, wearing a backpack and carrying a bag.

Then, she hugs her son's 'battle buddy', who is also dressed in his fatigues with bags in tow, who will be coming home to be part of their family. She added in the caption, "I came here for one son and left with two."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The term battle buddy is unique to the Unites States Military. According to Matt Ward, an Army veteran (who is now a second lieutenant in the US Army Reserves) and YouTuber, explains the meaning and depth of what a battle buddy is. He explains that a battle buddy is anyone going through basic training with you.

"At basic training, you're always going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you talk to a drill sergeant, you're going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you go to the bathroom (latrine), you're going to have a battle buddy with you," he says. "You have to be with someone at all times."

Ward add that while there are a lot of reasons for having a battle buddy, the biggest are accountability and safety.

@cocobutter801

Sometimes I feel like motherhood just keeps getting harder the older they get. 🥹♥️🇺🇸 ##army##militarymom##nationalguard##texas

In the video shared by @cocobutter801, many military families and members commended her on her big, hospitable heart. They also shared about their experiences with battle buddies. "My son told me his battle buddy wasn’t receiving letters so I wrote 2 a week," one shared. Another commented, "People don’t realize how much this means to soldiers that for whatever reason can’t be with their 'blood' family… instead they get welcomed into a new extended family!!!! Much respect!!!"

Another wrote, "one of my best friends let me join him and his family, i cherish those memories. sadly he is no longer with us but 15 years later I still talk to his family. I'm forever grateful for their kindness." And @cocobutter801 replied, "I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure they love you still are in contact with them. I know I would."

In another comment, a viewer shared, "My son just asked for 2 to come home w him in May!! Load the truck up son!! ALWAYS!!" And @cocobutter801 responded, "Always!"

The "sharing struggle" is something every parent can relate to.

There's a swarm of kids on the playground. One comes up to your kid and wants to play with whatever toy they have.

Immediately, we spring into action.


"Share, sweetheart! You have to share!"

But do they have to share? Do they really?

One mom doesn't think so.

Alanya Kolberg recently explained on Facebook why she tells her son that it's OK to say "no."

She recounted a recent visit to the playground when her son, Carson, was bombarded by a group of boys demanding he share his toys.

Instead of simply trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict, Kolberg had a different message for her young son:

"You can tell them no, Carson," I said. "Just say no. You don't have to say anything else."

MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS.As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6...

Posted by Alanya Kolberg on Wednesday, April 19, 2017

"Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing," she wrote.

"I said, 'He doesn't have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.'"

Kolberg wrote that she got plenty of dirty looks from the other parents, but she explained her reasoning:

"If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No! Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again."

"The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults," she wrote. "While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don't know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care."

Saying no to sharing may sound counterintuitive, but when you think about it, Kolberg's message makes perfect sense.

"As an Educator, I completely agree with this. When children are not taught to assert themselves when necessary, it leads to so many situations of bullying," wrote one commenter.

Though not everyone agrees:

"I'm sorry but nothing material is worth a fight. I will share everything and anything I can," responded another.

Of course we want our kids to share. Of course we want them to show affection to grandma and grandpa. But isn't it equally (or more) important that they know their own comfort and happiness matter?

Judging by the viral reaction to Kolberg's post, plenty of parents out there think the answer ought to be yes.

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How a frequent flier's viral post saved Christmas for this father and son.

'I would give anything for him. And I never want him to feel a hole in his life where his father should be.'

Quentin Seyssel has only seen his 5-year-old son, Aiden, four times this year.

Aiden and his mom have been living with her parents in California since March 2015, although she and Quentin didn't officially get divorced until this past summer. Being away from his son is hard, especially since Aiden is on the autism spectrum and has only recently begun to communicate with purpose.

Photo by Quentin Seyssel, used with permission.


Due to financial constraints, Quentin lives a humble life in Colorado and sends as much money as he can to his son every month.

The physical distance between them is difficult, especially this year, because it's the first Christmas the two would've spent apart.

The two communicate most frequently via Skype, but it presents challenges, Quentin explains. "Within the last year, [Aiden] has gotten a lot more used to initiating play and will bring you a puppet to use and mimic a conversation with."

That's not something he can do over Skype.

Photo by Quentin Seyssel, used with permission.

Though Quentin tries to ask his son questions and engage with him on their calls, he is often left watching Aiden play quietly.

While Quentin would love to see his son in person, "it is financially difficult," he writes. This year, even though he does have holiday time off work, he cannot afford the round-trip ticket.

In a last-ditch effort, Quentin responded to a post online in which a man named Peter Shankman was offering to use his extra airline miles to help people who needed them to get home for the holidays.

In his job as a marketing consultant, Shankman has racked up a significant number of airline miles. For the past four years, he's been gifting them to people — like Quentin — who can't afford trips to see their loved ones around the holidays.

Photo by Peter Shankman, used with permission.

"I get to travel to talk for a living and get paid for it," explains Shankman in an email. "I don't know how much luckier I could be. How could I possibly live in a world that gives me all of that happiness and not find a way to give back?"

So every year, Shankman sets up a post on image-hosting website Imgur asking users to share their story in the Home for the Holidays category. The people whose stories receive the most upvotes from other users get a ticket home with Shankman's miles.

Shankman traveling with his own daughter. Photo by Peter Shankman, used with permission.

This year, Shankman was joined by generous travelers who donated their own miles to the cause, helping to send 10 people home for the holidays.One is a teacher with a rare eye disease who will get to visit her family after years apart; another is an Air Force pilot with HIV who will be able to go home and make amends with his estranged family.

In response to Quentin's story, several other users stepped in, offering to pay for his flight home to Aiden.

Quentin decided to take one of those offers, so that Shankman could use his miles for someone else in need. "He seemed genuine, kind, and never asked for anything in return," writes Quentin of the user whose offer he accepted. "Only the promise to pay it forward."

Photo by Quentin Seyssel. Used with permission.

Quentin wrestled with feeling worthy of the free trip home and thinking about how many others might be more deserving — but then he thought about Aiden.

Photo by Quentin Seyssel, used with permission.

Quentin knows Aiden needs his father around, especially at this crucial stage of development in his life. He's making plans to move to California so they can spend more time together. Until then, he's been writing letters to Aiden every year on his birthday and plans to give them all to Aiden when he turns 21.

"I would give anything for [Aiden]," Quentin writes. "I never want him to feel a hole in his life where his father should be."

Thanks to the generosity of a stranger on the internet, this year's letter will be filled with some extra joy and humility — "a highlight of memories and hope," he says — and memories of a visit home for the holidays.

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There's just something innately special about a hot cup of coffee.

(Or a cold one! Iced lattes are awesome too, if that's more your speed.)


Coffee obviously picks you up when you have a case of the sleepyheads. But if you think about it, it picks you up emotionally as well. I mean, why else are coffee breaks and coffee dates a thing?

And remember that story about the Starbucks employee paying it forward and giving free cups of coffee to Chelsea first responders? Surefire pick-me-up!

Well, one savvy entrepreneur is looking to blend the special something that coffee brings into an amazing app.

It's called Nack and it lets you buy coffee for anyone, anywhere. It's the brainchild of Paul Haun, a Rhode Island native who quit his job in finance to grow his new innovation full-time. He credits his cousin, former NHL player Tom Cavanagh, who sadly passed away in 2011, for inspiring him to pursue his passion.

Interestingly enough, he came up with the idea for Nack thanks to — you guessed it — a coffee run.

All images via Nack, used with permission.

"I would always think to grab a cup of coffee for a friend, assistant, or client, but asking and remembering how they like it is a hassle," says Haun. "By the time someone responds to a text or a quick call, it’s too late."

After noticing this gap in the market, Haun set out to create an app that saves your coffee preferences for those exact kinds of moments. But something was still missing. Haun was looking for a better hook to make Nack a bigger part of anyone's sacred coffee routine.

The idea? Why not offer free coffee? And even better, why not be able to send it toanyone?

Nack is all about spreading kindness and supplying random acts of coffee.

The app allows you to send coffee to a friend, family member, or coworker — all you do is pay for it in the app and the recipient can claim their coffee from select partners. The app also allows you to perform a random act of coffee by purchasing a cup of coffee for any user to claim. Haun describes it as sort of a digital way to buy coffee for the person behind you in line.

"Say you're in the drive-thru and you say, 'Hey, I'll grab this guy's coffee.' Doesn't matter if the guy's driving a Mercedes. You just feel like, 'Hey, this guy doesn't know what's coming. I'm just going to perform this random act of kindness,'" Haun describes.

The best part? You can even include a little message from the heart.

Thanks to tech like this, it's now that much easier to brighten someone else's day.

"We’re going to start to eventually give users some more options where you could say, 'I want to gift a random coffee to a person in this state, a random male or female,'" says Haun.

But Nack isn't stopping there.

"We’re working here now in my hometown in Rhode Island where now users are going to be able to gift a coffee to a random teacher, a random police officer, a fireman. We’re working with the city departments now to make that happen," adds Haun.

"It’s all about sharing random acts of kindness."