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Education

60 Sandy Hook survivors graduate high school, sharing complex feelings about the milestone

"A chunk of our class is missing."

Image by Stacey Kennedy from Pixabay

Graduation is a big milestone that can come with grief for some communities.

It's been nearly 12 years since a young man walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, with an AR-15. rifle and two handguns and opened fire, killing 20 first graders and six faculty members before turning the gun on himself.

Survivors of the Sandy Hook shooting—kids who watched their friends and teachers being murdered in their classrooms—are now graduating from high school, and they have complicated feelings about the milestone and the 20 classmates who aren't joining them.

A private graduation ceremony was held at Newtown High School on June 12, 2024, with 335 graduates including around 60 Sandy Hook survivors. Some of them shared their thoughts with journalists in the days leading up to graduation.

“I think we’re all super excited for the day,” Lilly Wasilnak, 17, shared with the AP. "But I think we can’t forget ... that there is a whole chunk of our class missing. And so going into graduation, we all have very mixed emotions — trying to be excited for ourselves and this accomplishment that we’ve worked so hard for, but also those who aren’t able to share it with us, who should have been able to.”

"The shooter actually came into my classroom," Emma Ehrens, 17, told CBS News. "So I had to, like, watch all my friends and teachers get killed, and I had to run for my life at six years old."

According to the AP, Ehrens was one of 11 kids who survived from Classroom 10. She was able to escape with a group of students when the shooter paused to reload his gun. Five students and both teachers in the room were killed.

“I am definitely going be feeling a lot of mixed emotions,” Ehrens said. “I’m super excited to be, like, done with high school and moving on to the next chapter of my life. But I’m also so ... mournful, I guess, to have to be walking across that stage alone. … I like to think that they’ll be there with us and walking across that stage with us.”

The survivors who are graduating this year are dealing with both the exciting what ifs of their futures and the tragic what ifs of their past as they remember their slain classmates.

"Just growing up with having the fear, and the what ifs of what could have happened if I stayed? Because I was, like, I was going to be next," Ehrens told CBS News.

"So even going to prom, you think, well, what if they were my prom date? Or, you know, what if they were my significant other? What if they were able to walk the stage with me," survivor Ella Seaver added.

“As much as we’ve tried to have that normal, like, childhood and normal high school experience, it wasn’t totally normal,” Grace Fischer, 18, told CBS. “But even though we are missing ... such a big chunk of our class, like Lilly said, we are still graduating. ... We want to be those regular teenagers who walk across the stage that day and feel that, like, celebratory feeling in ourselves, knowing that we’ve come this far.”

That desire for normalcy conflicting with their not normal childhood is part of what makes graduation such a bittersweet experience for these young people. They had so much taken from them at such a young age, and that trauma doesn't just disappear. Some of the students expressed that they are looking forward to moving away from Newtown and building a life in which the school shooting doesn't define them.

Sandy Hook was unique in that the victims were so young and there were so many of them, but the survivors aren't alone in their experience. In the years since the Sandy Hook massacre, the U.S. has seen dozens more school shootings, and there are thousands of school shooting survivors dealing with related traumas. Many of those survivors have become outspoken anti-gun-violence advocates, pressuring officials to enact stronger laws to keep guns out of the wrong hands.

But for now, the Sandy Hook graduates are celebrating a big life milestone, just as they—and their 20 missing classmates—should be.

Watch six of the Sandy Hook survivors share their stories on Good Morning America:


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Education

Texas mom sends daughter to school in a Kevlar dress to start conversations about school safety

'We need to protect our babies.'

via Hawaii DOE

Children hide under their desks during a safety drill.

After the Sandy Hook school shooting in 2012 failed to push legislators to take action to help prevent school shootings, there has been a sense in America that these tragic events have become normalized. Worse, there’s a feeling that far too many people seem to believe that guns are more important than children.

The 2021-2022 school year came to an end with the shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, where 21 people were murdered by a gunman armed with an AR-15-style rifle. The sound of the school bell ringing again for the 2022-2023 year fills many parents with a sense of dread that their kids could be next.

Cassie Arnold, a mother and arts educator who lives in Texas, created a chilling reminder of the danger our kids face in schools by sending her daughter to first grade in a dress sewn together with Kevlar.

Kevlar is the material used to create bulletproof vests.

“My daughter was in kindergarten last year and she knew that her place in ‘lockdown drills’ was by the toilet in the classroom bathroom, and that she had to wait till the administrators banged on the doors, and that she had to be quiet," Arnold told Yahoo Life. "She wasn't fazed by it. She was just like, well, this is what we do.”

The depressing thing is that there are thousands of kids like Arnold’s daughter who’ve lived their entire lives under the threat of deadly violence in their schools.

Arnold’s hope is that the dress will inspire others to push back against the notion that there’s nothing that can be done and we need to live with the threat.

“The biggest hope is that we can keep the conversation going,” Arnold told Yahoo Life. “The dress can create a conversation—not just a nonpartisan conversation—and allow us to come to an equal playing field. We need to protect our babies.”

The piece is also noteworthy because instead of being partisan fingerpointing it asks for people to sit down and talk about what’s happening.

Arnold hoped that her piece would be satirical but, in fact, it accurately depicts reality in Texas. In her Instagram post, she points out that Texas looks to spend tens of millions of dollars on bulletproof police shields and barriers in classrooms. While assault weapons are readily available, the state’s efforts are clearly centered around stopping bullets from hitting people rather than preventing them from being fired in the first place.

“[The dress] was originally designed to be satirical, to be a more extreme response to these tragedies. But, the real responses from some of our leaders were too close for comfort,” Arnold wrote on Instagram.

The conversation surrounding school shootings in America has been cyclical. A tragedy happens, a lot of things are said, but ultimately no substantial actions are taken by our leaders. Congress did recently pass the first gun control bill in decades in the wake of the Uvalde school shooting, but it took massacre after massacre to get to that bipartisan deal. Arnold's piece is thought-provoking because it gets ahead of the cycle and begs for the conversation to continue before the next shooting. It also asks us to reconsider the idea that the shootings are a normal part of life in America.

“The timing is intentional,” Arnold wrote on Instagram. “School is starting and the elections in November are coming. It’s time to pressure those who have the agency to create changes to do so.”

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Education

Comedian perfectly nails how little 'thoughts and prayers' mean after a mass shooting

Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

Actions speak far louder than words.

It never fails. After a tragic mass shooting, social media is filled with posts offering thoughts and prayers. Politicians give long-winded speeches on the chamber floor or at press conferences asking Americans to do the thing they’ve been repeatedly trained to do after tragedy: offer heartfelt thoughts and prayers. When no real solution or plan of action is put forth to stop these senseless incidents from occurring so frequently in a country that considers itself a world leader, one has to wonder when we will be honest with ourselves about that very intangible automatic phrase.

Comedian Anthony Jeselnik brilliantly summed up what "thoughts and prayers" truly mean. In a 1.5-minute clip, Jeselnik talks about victims' priorities being that of survival and not wondering if they’re trending at that moment. The crowd laughs as he mimics the actions of well-meaning social media users offering thoughts and prayers after another mass shooting. He goes on to explain how the act of performatively offering thoughts and prayers to victims and their families really pulls the focus onto the author of the social media post and away from the event. In the short clip he expertly expresses how being performative on social media doesn’t typically equate to action that will help victims or enact long-term change.

Of course, this isn’t to say that thoughts and prayers aren’t welcomed or shouldn’t be shared. According to Rabbi Jack Moline "prayer without action is just noise." In a world where mass shootings are so common that a video clip from 2015 is still relevant, it's clear that more than thoughts and prayers are needed. It's important to examine what you’re doing outside of offering thoughts and prayers on social media. In another several years, hopefully this video clip won’t be as relevant, but at this rate it’s hard to see it any differently.

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Here are 4 ways you can effect meaningful change as we process yet another mass shooting

It's easy to feel helpless, but here's how to turn that helplessness into action.

Photo by Colin Lloyd on Unsplash

Angry and frustrated? Get outside and make your feelings known.

Two mass shootings in less than two weeks. It sounds like some faraway land where citizens fight for their right to freedom. But it’s not some far off land, it’s here in our own backyard. America has a problem—it’s the only developed country in the world that has more mass shootings a year than there are days. We are 144 days into the year and there has already been more than 200 mass shootings, 27 of which were school shootings. Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas, is the latest to join that growing list with 19 children and two teachers dying in an elementary school designated for second, third and fourth graders.

Parents and other adults who have lost children at the school are reeling from this unspeakable act of violence. And adults raising children in this country are joining those parents in their grief, but know that collective grief is not enough. People are feeling helpless and want to take action to combat those feelings. It gives our hands and minds something to focus on as our hearts heal.

Here are four things you can do if you’re feeling helpless about gun violence in America.

Connect with advocacy groups

Many gun safety advocacy groups have local chapters or you can connect with them online. Everytown for Gun Safety is the largest gun violence prevention organization in America. Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America has chapters in every state and a bunch of resources on their website. Giffords and Brady are two other nonprofits furnishing statistics, resources and ways to get involved. All of these organizations are there to help people have a voice in creating gun laws that make the most sense for the safety of American citizens. No one wants another mass shooting, and joining the fight with one of these organizations can put your anger and frustration to good use.

Run for office

Running for national office may be a privilege reserved for those who can afford to not work for a lengthy period of time leading up to the elections, but that's not so much the case with local elections. And a lot of change is enacted at local and state levels. You don’t have to run to become a member of Congress to elicit change. School boards, county commissioners and other local influential positions can be of great benefit to your community. If you’re interested in finding out more about how to run for an office, look for information on your state's secretary of state website. If you identify as a woman and are unsure of what office to run for, you should check out She Should Run. As well as having a starter kit, trainings and meetings, the organization also has a quiz to help you narrow down the office that would suit you best.

Photo by Rubén Rodriguez on Unsplash

Get involved in other areas of public service

If running for office isn’t your thing, research your local and state candidates and find the ones who support the causes that are important to you and who share your views on preventing gun violence. Your support to their campaign can be in the form of monetary donations, helping with phone banks, texting, canvassing or helping put up signs. Any and every form of support helps for candidates who don't have deep pockets or big donors.

Active participation in politics may be a bit too much for some people. But you can always write your member of Congress or state senator. If you’re computer savvy, you can even create a form letter and share it with others to make it easier for them to contact their representatives. You can also call your state representatives and leave them messages so they know your voice.

Peacefully protest

Something that will help you move from a place of feeling helpless and stuck is to protest. You can organize protests in your area or you can join protests that are already scheduled. You don’t have to be a member of an organization to show up. Grab a piece of poster board and some markers and go exercise your First Amendment right. You have the power to enact change. Every action has a ripple effect and if enough people are speaking up and stepping up, change is bound to happen.

We have to do what we can as adults because active shooter drills should not be part of learning to write your name. Calls from school should be because your child has a tummy ache, not because they’re not coming home. Teachers should only need to worry about correcting minor behaviors and teaching math, not how to teach their classroom to barricade a door. America, we have to do better, and the best way to change outcomes is by putting in the work.

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