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Dad knows lots of things … just not who this Taylor Swift guy is.

There are many traditional staples of fatherhood—love, support, protection, security, providing an example—but there is, of course, that other not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feeling that dads can provoke in their kids at any given moment … sheer, utter embarrassment.

Usually in a father’s humiliation tool belt is the infamous dad joke. These corny puns have been around since 2003, and let’s face it, they’ll never leave. Of course, no dad needs one to make your eyes roll. They can do that most of the time simply by being themselves.

For his well-known #Hashtags segment, Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share “funny, weird, or embarrassing” stories about their dads. Fallon, a father himself, is no stranger to the cringeworthy power of a dad joke. In a 2020 interview with TODAY, Fallon admitted, “I’m starting to get the eye rolls now where Daddy’s not the funniest person in the world.”



Don’t worry Fallon! Clearly you’re not alone, because people replied with some truly hilarious comments. Dads might be silly, but we’ll gladly put up with it for the love they give us.


Enjoy 20 of the very best #DadStories. As usual, Fallon went first:

1.


"Instead of buying a smoker my dad just grills in the garage with the door closed." – @jimmyfallon

2.

"At my aunt’s wedding reception, my dad ran out from the bathroom when he heard You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees play, and proceeded to do John Travolta’s routine from Saturday Night Fever." – @MJ_Rose88

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Kudos to the dads with these sick moves.

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3.

"My Dad will call me sometimes when he wants me to bring him food. He refers to me as 'GrubDash.'" – @FalPalAMF828

4.

"My dad likes to play a very morbid game called 'guess who died', which consists of him gossiping about someone I probably haven't seen in 20+ years and can't remember at all, who died recently. Bonus points for guessing the cause of death." – @jon_jonz

5.

"My dad used to drink his morning coffee with his dentures in his hand while reading the newspaper. When we asked him why, he said his teeth also wanted to read the newspaper." – @FallonHolic_

6.

"When my dad took my sister to her first Jr. HS dance, she asked to be dropped off a block before the school. My dad proceeded to take her all the way up to the main entrance, got out of the car and loudly announced her arrival!" – @77BroncosFan

7.

"Asked my dad if he knew who Taylor Swift was...he said, I don't care who he is!" – @JessyKrupa

jimmy fallon dad stories

That's Mr. Swift to you.

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8.

"My dad whistles really loud. He sticks his head out the window and whistles back to birds. But when the lady next door heard him, she called 911. The cops told her, 'Lady, he didn’t whistle at you. He only flirts with birds.'" – @tostianascripts

9.

"When my dad would leave a message on my answering machine, he would end the message saying, 'This is dad signing off.'" – @RealRobFindor

10.

"We were on vacation and the gift shops selling fudge called plain fudge 'chocolate no nuts.' A guy walked up to my dad with some samples and offered him some saying 'chocolate no nuts?' And my dad said 'what did you just call me?'" – @lauraceciliaOT

11.

"My Dad laid a new floor in my brother's house. It was all finished so we couldn't understand why he was taking up the boards again. Turns out he had seen a spider run underneath and was worried it would be trapped." – @Sohnzie

12.

"Whenever my dad would try to talk us into trying something new to eat he'd state, 'It's so good it'll put hair on your chest.' He had 3 daughters." – @Bookelew

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OMG, DAD WHY?

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13.

"My mom once bought a 6 ft Santa statue at a yard sale without telling dad. When he got home and parked, we heard banging, crashing and swearing. We went to look and the Santa was laying face down on the curb. Dad thought someone was trying to jump him." – @dknessfalls

14.

"My dad couldn’t decide if he wanted to be called 'grandpa' or 'papa' so he just told all of us to call him 'Coach.' He’s not a coach." – @iPopEditor

15.

"My father went to the McDonalds drive thru and asked for a whopper. When they said 'they didn’t have whoppers', He just drove off without placing an order." – @Marisa_Rosie22

16.

"One day we went out to eat at Pizza Hut and sat in front of an empty table with some pizza left on it. My dad, being the penny pincher he is, grabbed some and started eating it. A few minutes later the couple comes back from the bathroom asking 'where’s our pizza?'" – @Alex_Erickson3

17.

"My dad let a bee land on his hand and watched it closely as it stung him because he 'wanted to see the process up close.'" – @TrippyPsycholo1

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Up close? No thanks.

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18.

"My dad once tried to tell a lady she had a Big Bug on her, but accidentally told her she had a Really Big Butt. She was not amused." – @Sallyjo25

19.

"My dad thinks it's funny to introduce my mom as his 'first wife'....my parents have been married for 58 years and are in their late 80's." – @annMcD87

20.

"My dad entered Canada by swimming across the Niagara from the US under the cover of night." – @albertduic

jimmy fallon hashtags, fallon hashtags dad stories

Dads can be mischievous.

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This story originally appeared on 06.17.22

At least you won't be lonely?

Let’s be honest—roommates can be weird. I admit, I was on more than one occasion the weird roommate. I remember in my 20s thinking it would be cool to keep a minifridge in my room … you know, so I’d never have to leave it. That idea became rather short-lived after my roommates angrily showed me the electric bill for the month. Whoops.

As whimsical as sitcoms make it seem, the truth is it can be hard to blend different personalities—one person’s quirk is often another person’s character defect. But still, living with someone else is usually a necessity at some point. If you live in an expensive city, the need could be lifelong. So, learning to embrace it all is probably a good idea. At the very least, some oddball roommates make for some pretty great stories.

“The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon recently asked his Twitter audience to share “something funny, weird or embarrassing” about their roommate as part of his famous #Hashtags segment.



Indeed, the stories people shared were funny, weird and embarrassing (and yes, some were also quite gross), but each relatable in their own way, at least for anyone who has ever had to share their space with a stranger.

Here are a few fun anecdotes that’ll have you laughing … and maybe considering living solo forever.


Sometimes, having a weird roommate can be kind of cool. Their eccentricity can help bring out our own sense of humor…

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What fun.

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“If my roommate and I were going somewhere together and he beat me getting ready, he would play the @Jeopardy theme song at max volume until I walked outside.” – @claydoughrocks

“My roommate would always need to go on a drive to “clear her head” it was actually a couple laps on mario kart.” – @elise_millsssss

… others might instill feelings that are less comedic and more horrific.

funny roommate stories

Congratulate yourself for surviving.

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My roommate would cut her toe nails & put the pieces behind the couch. She’d have to gather up the clippings then physically move the couch away from the wall to do this. I had no idea until 6 mos in when I went to vacuum behind the couch & found 50+ clippings.” – @MeesterLizz


My roommate at college used to wipe his fingerprints away after touching something just in case I was a serial murderer and he would be blamed for it. Needless to say, he wasn't my roommate for very long.” – @FallonHolic_

And even the most chill roommate can have the oddest food habits.

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It's just food...right?

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Had a roomie who ate my pickles one by one, thinkin I wouldn't notice. Every day I'd check the fridge & count pickles. not eating them. just monitoring things. Then the roomie acts like I'm weird for counting pickles, but don't gaslight me bro. Stop eating my pickles.” – @gumgumerson

My roommate would put black olives in a bowl, put milk on them and eat them like cereal.” – @srgraff

Some weird roommates provide a hilarious, yet compelling case proving that our most instinctive, primal urges to mark territory are still deeply ingrained within us … they’re just so repressed that we find the strangest outlets to assert dominance.

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We haven't really evolved all that much.

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“My old roommate did not want anyone sitting in their special comfy chair after they went to bed. Every night they would remove all the cushions and bring them into their bedroom.
” – @PugZLee9

Odds are, there is a lot more going on with whatever peculiar habit you’re witnessing.

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The explanation isn't always uplifting.

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“My roommate at college used to make sculptures from his empty beer cans. He made Stonehenge, the White House and the Colosseum. We only realized there was a problem when he started drinking more to make sure he had enough cans to ‘finish the sculpture.’” – Optimist_Eeyore

And sometimes … there simply is no explanation for why mad people do what they do.

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... yeah ...

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“My roommate used to eat acid with me and the last time I saw him he went to the bathroom and I sat underneath a life sized Mickey mouse stuffy and jumped up when he walked by saying ‘hi everybody!’ In a Mickey Mouse voice. He ran out of the apartment never to be seen again.” – @jakemartinjokes

His face is all of us after that first summer job paycheck.

Call it a rite of passage, a baptism by fire, or simply a necessary evil, but a terrible summer job is pretty much a staple of young adulthood. Those concert tickets aren’t gonna pay for themselves, after all.

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Some summer jobs are heinous by the sheer amount of manual labor involved. Others are just plain weird. I remember one year working as a “live strolling table.” Yep, just walking around attached to an elaborately dressed table offering hors d'oeuvres and champagne. A human-furniture hybrid. How do you put that on a resume?

No matter the role, there is one thing all summer jobs have in common: They teach us humility in one way or another … especially once we see that first paycheck. There’s simply no way to prepare for seeing two weeks worth of hard work equate to a (usually) paltry sum. Hopefully that experience alone makes generous tippers of us all.

Jimmy Fallon recently asked people to share their own “funny, weird, or embarrassing story about a bad summer job” as part of his iconic #hashtags challenge.

Here are 15 that might make your own summer job memory feel a little less dreadful:


1.

“I planted trees for the US Forest Service one summer in HS. Our foreman would go through our lunches, eat our cookies and chips, and take bites out of our sandwiches. We were all about 15 so too afraid to tell.” – @dumpster_diva

2.

3.

“One summer I worked at Taco Bell during lunch and Furr’s cafeteria during dinner. People would see me at both and ask if I was twins.”– @kerrikgray

4.

“As a young comedian I was hired to MC an event for a furniture store. The owner paid me 5 bucks for every time I would fake trip and fall on my way to the mic. He said he was a 3 stooges fan.” – @Brentfo4242

5.

“I applied for a job while in high school at a toy store. I called back days after the interview asking if they had any news for me. They told me I got the job, and they forgot to tell me. They had me scheduled for that day and was told ‘you’re late.’”– @RockerSam91

6.

“In high school, I worked at an insurance agency...let’s just say the bus ride to and from work was the best part of the job.”– @SharonZurcher

7.

“In high school I worked at a bounce house company. My first day working was an elementary school field day and the huge inflatable slide starting deflating and collapsing with kids at the top…angry parents staring at me like I had an answer for this at 16 years old.” – @calamari_carly

8.

“In middle school my friend and I got paid to fill, lick and seal about 500 envelopes with documents for a lawyer - a penny per envelope. 3 hours later, we asked for 2 cans of soda from his cooler. He said sure, and took $2 each from our pay. We made a dollar.”– @CameronFontana

9.

“I worked at a dog kennel. A guy brought in 2 dogs to stay a month. He told me to give a pill every morning to dog #1. So, I did for the month. When he returned, I brought out dog #1 and he said, ‘Hi, dog #2!’ My face turned so red. Oh, well. The dog survived.”– @TheTomeWebster

10.

“I babysat identical twin boys where one constantly screamed and got into mischief but potty trained early while the other was quiet, well behaved but always blowing out diapers. They never did anything ‘identical’. I'm shocked that I still wanted kids after that!” @overbaughs

11.

“Worked at Crumbl in high school. One coworker had the exact same shifts as me, and she was a theater kid. Like MAJOR theater kid, was cracked out 24/7, randomly performing theater at work. I am not proud to say I memorized 10 Shakespeare monologues because of her.”– @itstherealmeboo

12.

“I held human hearts with a white cotton glove during open heart surgeries, so they didn’t ‘slip’.…No pressure! That’s why l am now a planetary medium and asteroid deflector. Much less stress.”– @rosamalvaceae

13.

“I worked for a local sweet corn farm. I had to sort the corn into boxes for their stands around the state or local grocery stores. It came off the truck onto a conveyor belt by the 1000s. I literally saw thousands of corn cobs in my dreams at night.”– @jdianemiller

14.

“In high school my mom got me a job working with the city to clean an island in the local lake that ducks lived on. Everyday I had to fight a duck, and everyday I needed a bandaid after getting bit by a duck. It was a nightmare and I still hate ducks 30 years later.” – @KingSergioS

15

“Hired at an amusement park for the summer, taking summer college classes at the same time…Show up for my 1st day to a supervisor who says ‘Oh, the girl who didn’t show up!’ Proceeds to show me the previous week’s schedule where I had 40 hours during my class time. He rolls his eyes when I explain and gives me every crappy task he can find....

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...I left after the 2nd day, never picked up my check, but kept my employee ID & got in for free all summer!”– @trixiebelle47

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower:


1. 

"1985 champagne Ford Taurus. Front and back license plates said 'Bernie'. Everyone who rode signed the roof lining. Brittany Spears sticker on the hood. Orange scuff marks lining the side from taking out rows of plastic construction barrels, on purpose." – @StaufferJacob85

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Not sure I see the problem here. Clearly that car was work of art.

2. 

"My car in high school had a hole in the gas tank, but it was near the top, so you only had to worry about it if you put in more than $7 worth of gas." – @jimmyfallon

3. 

"Our son’s first car has electric doors. They often malfunction and open / close at random when he’s parked. He has to time it just right as he dives in and out or he gets stuck!" – @Sohnzie

4. 


"The sunroof blew off of #myworstcar the first time I drove it on the highway. I duct taped a piece of plexiglass over the hole & that was the roof for the next 2 years. The electrical system shorted out from water getting in and the alarm would go off randomly and the radio froze."@hopesstillmedia

5.

"2 months after my Uncle 'got it checked by a mechanic,' the transmission went out. Over the years, the alternator broke down twice, the air conditioner, the serpentine belt, the brakes... I could go on. I think I should get a refund for the $1 gave my uncle."@rednicknack

6.

"The 1st car I drove in the 80s was a Chevy Chevette in high school. It didn’t have 2nd gear so you had to go from 1st to 3rd. The driver’s seat was broken so we had a short 2x4 wedged between the back of the seat and the floor in the back."@englishteacher8

7.

"I drove a 98 ford ranger in high school that could only go 45 mph before it started back firing. When you got up to 46, people thought you were performing a drive by shooting. Got stopped by the cops a few times for it." @amylynnfish

8.

"My mom owned a 1992 Chrysler LeBaron, and its car radio all of a sudden stopped working. So whenever my mom wanted to listen to the 'radio', I had to do all the radio sound effects and static noise, sing random songs and commercial jingles, and recite ad voiceovers."@DulceFloCruz99

9.



"2004 Honda Civic Coup. where to begin? the muffler that would fall off every couple miles, the ac that never worked, break pad that fell into my hand or the fact only one of the vehicle's TWO doors would open?!"@moshimotions

10.

"I learned to drive a stick car in '86 on a '76 VW Rabbit. There was a hole in the floor near the shift. I always felt like Fred Flintstone and if I had a problem I could just use my feet!"@AnnMcD87

new car vs used car for teens

Yabba Dabba drive

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11.

"I had a 91 Acura and it had some alternator problem where it would not start if it was hot (I lived in Pasadena at the time) so it was hot a lot. In my 21 year old mind, I decided to not fix the problem, just park the car on a slope wherever I went so I could start it."@astovesand

12.

"My first car, a maroon Mitsubishi Colt Vista, had a nest of bees living in both the driver and passenger side doors."@BrnSkr

13.

"My car in college always overheated and broke down in the same place going up a mountain. I often had to drive in front of a sign that said 'Kentucky prison ahead, please do not pick up hitchhikers.'”@HancockTraci

14.

"My first car when I was 17 had a hole in the pipe that takes the petrol to the tank, I’d put 30 in but average around 15 that made it to the tank if I was lucky. When I drop into the forecourt I would get the “get the f#c@n sand bucket ready” eye roll of the cashier."@asalllas

15.

"My first car was a 1981 gold Honda civic station wagon called the Jesus-mobile because it had one of those fish stickers on the back and would leak water and make a whine noise."@KyleKerouac

16.

Need they say more?

17.

"My first car was a Corvair. It had many issues, but the worst was when the motor mounts broke without warning and the engine literally fell out into the street while I was driving."@styllpoint

18.

"I stapled a tie die tapestry to the roof of the interior and it fell down while my mom was backing out of the driveway and she hit the mailbox."@JDylanNYC

19.

"I had a Toyota that was 4 different colors. Had replacement parts on it but couldn't afford to get it painted. It had a cracked distributor cap so every time it rained, I had to take it apart to dry it out so the car would start."@kmacassar

20.


"#Myworstcar was an Acura that my dad bought at the police auction. He made me deep clean it and something suspiciously blood-colored came up from the back carpet."@KatieKlauss

21.

"In HS I had a 1970 Ford Maverick. Every time I turned left in the summertime, the AC drain drained into the passenger floorboard. Well-placed coffee cans caught most of the water."@saxmelody

22.

"My Brother and I had to get out and walk to the top of steep hills on family trips because our car was so underpowered."@Sohnzie