upworthy

girl dad

Man makes argument to raise sons and daughters the same.

It's a universal consensus that raising kids is difficult no matter what corner of the globe you reside. It's partly difficult because they literally just got here and are learning how to human as they go, and partly because the reality is that you're raising these children to become adults. Preferably good, kind, ethical, functional adults. So, even if you have the easiest child in the world, there's still a lot of pressure to do a good job.

When you factor in a child's gender, parenting can get even trickier given society's influence on gender roles, "norms," and expectations. These things can unintentionally influence how parents interact with their children, and one man is calling out the hypocrisy by sharing how to raise boys to be good men. Mark, who goes by @Scarefacemark on social media, revealed his controversial opinion on how parents should raise their boys.

Often boys are permitted much more leeway while growing up than their girl counterparts. They tend to have fewer rules, or the rules are less strictly enforced. Girls are also given much more responsibility and an earlier age. For example, a boy may only be expected to clean his room and take out the trash while a girl may be expected to clean her room, clean the kitchen, help cook meals, clean the shared bathroom, etc.

parents, father and son, dad, boys, childhoodYou might say boys get to feel like kids for longer. Giphy

Mark makes the argument that if parents start raising their sons like they raise their daughters it would result in their sons growing up to be good men.

"I have an opinion that y'all might disagree with," Mark starts. "I feel like people need to raise their sons the same way they raise their daughters. I'm not talking about the sassy way. I'm talking about with the stuff y'all let them do. With the curfews right, a boy might have a later curfew than the girl or you might let your son bring a girlfriend over but you won't let your daughter bring her boyfriend over. You might tell your son to wear a condom but you tell your daughter don't sleep around at all when all in all you shouldn't tell your son to be sleeping [around] as well."

Mark says that this is something he notices more with fathers. While he does praise the way fathers raise their children, he shares that this is an area where there should be a change. He further explains, saying, "It's basically like you're telling your son that he can be an undisciplined kind of dude, meanwhile your daughter has to be the only disciplined one." He ends by hypothesizing that this the reason there are so many hypersexual young men out there.

This message resonated with a lot of people. One woman, who goes by @Frankieaab stitched Mark's video to add her own thoughts on the issues raising boys differently than girls can lead to as they become adults. One thing she dives deeper into is her observation of the results of teaching girls to be chaste while encouraging (or excusing) boys' promiscuity and how it would change if they were raised like girls.

@frankieaab

Let’s stop with boys with the boys @Scarfacemark #greenscreenvideo #doublestandards #raisinglittleboys

"No one teaches little boys to have respect for their bodies and that's why so many men and young boys don't realize a lot of them have also been sexually assaulted," Frankie says before expanding on having heard men cheer on teen boys for much older women attracted to them. "So, if we gives the same rules and regulations to little boys and teach little boys that their bodies are also sacred, that their bodies should also be treated as a temple, so now you won't have little boys pressuring little girls into doing things that you told those little girls that they should not be doing."

hug, parent, boys and girls, boy, girls, raising kidsseason 1 hug GIF by NBCGiphy

Other people also agree with Mark's theory in the comments, with one person sharing, "People say it’s harder to raise girls, but that’s only because they’re actually raising them."

Another writes, "People let their son turn into the EXACT man they wouldn’t want their daughter to be with."

Someone else chimes in, "Giving sons more freedom than daughters is gone make them harbor resentment and go crazy when they get that freedom in retaliation to their fathers."

child, parent, play, dad, boys, girls, raising kidsFail Fathers Day GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

"That parenting always will create rebellious daughters due to seeing how the sons can live a care free life," one person points out.

Many women in Mark's comment section point out that moms are just as guilty as dads for having different rules depending on the gender of their child. If children were raised with the same rules and expectations regardless of gender, would that impact societies expectations of women and men? Would it impact the equity in division of household labor for married couples or the expected mental load of moms? It's certainly something to consider, and based off of the comments and video responses, it's something that has been on the minds of parents currently raising children for some time now.

Family

Dad gives his young daughter a 'spa day' while mom and sister are out and people are gushing

"This healed a part of me. Thank you for doing this with your daughter."

Mason Smith pampered his baby girl during her "spa day."

Raising kids is no small feat. Just the basic logistics of caring for a human being from their helpless newborn stage to the full-fledged adult stage is a lot, much less doing the countless other things that will actually help that human thrive.

Parents who go above and beyond to create a nurturing environment and build strong core memories with their kids are inspiring examples for us all, and one dad's spa day with his daughter has people positively gushing.

Mason Smith (@thedadsocial) shared a video of a special spa day he gave his young daughter when her mom and older sister were having their own pampered outing. "Mom and sister went to the salon so I couldn't have her feeling left out," he wrote.


The video shows Smith putting his daughter's hair up and gently rubbing a homemade avocado mask on her face. He then appears to attempt to do something with the cucumber slices (which usually go over the eyes but may not feel particularly comfy for the preschool set).

Next comes the moisturizer, which the sweet dad smoothed into his daughter's face and neck, massaging her temples and tickling her ears as he went. She clearly loves it.

Next up: some hairstyling, with spritzes and pigtails, followed by a nice little mani-pedi.

It's as soothing to watch as it must have been to experience:

People in the comments raved about what a simple-yet-special day Smith created for his little girl.

"Every girl deserves a daddy like this, 🥺❤️" wrote one person.

"I really miss my dad, he was a great friend and same like this, even when I was 18, he use to help me straighten my hair, but he's no more, passed away on Feb 10th.. missing you dadaaaa," wrote another.

One commenter said it made them "cry in an incredibly cathartic way" and thanked him for being "this kind of dad" and "sharing it with pride."

"She will never forget her daddy," shared another. "This is fantabulous. She loves what he is doing and she admires and loves him for taking the time to make her feel special like mommy. God Bless."

"This healed a part of me. Thank you for doing this with your daughter," wrote another.

This isn't Smith's first foray into at-home-spa-day-making with his daughter. Another video shows him pampering both of his daughters in this way and it's just as precious.

It doesn't take a lot to let your kids know they are loved, and these kinds of special moments go a long way. Three cheers for good dads.