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Sophie Grégoire Trudeau shares the big understanding that can make democracies healthy again

In an Upworthy excusive, Canada's "unofficial" first lady shares the root of political dysfunction.

via Pete Souza/Wikimedia Commons

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau at the White House.

Going through a divorce is one of the most psychologically stressful things someone can experience, right after the death of a spouse (and divorce is a sort of death of its own). But for mother of three Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, her split with Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been even more devastating because it happened on the world’s stage.

The 2023 breakup resulted in Grégoire Trudeau experiencing chronic stress, so she turned to the yoga mat and self-regulation to find strength through the painful transition. "I have never been more attuned and caring of my mental health than through this whole process," she told Yahoo Canada. "I have been pushed to dig into my authenticity and to put my attachment issues aside.”

Grégoire Trudeau documented her struggles and triumphs in a recent memoir, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other, where she discusses living with an eating disorder, confronting difficult truths, and finding a deeper connection to herself. Ultimately, it’s a story about overcoming adversity to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Justin Trudeau

 Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, Justin Trudeau, Canada, Prime Minister, Hamburg Justin und Sophie Trudeau at the Global Citizen Festival in Hamburg. via Frank Schwichtenberg/Wikimedia Commons

On June 24, 2025, she shared her journey at Aspen Ideas: Health during a discussion called “Sophie Grégoire Trudeau: A Personal Wellness Journey.” After the talk, she sat down with Upworthy to share a fascinating connection she made between mental health and politics: healthy democracies require citizens who feel safe in their bodies.

How to create healthy democracies

“Feeling safe in our bodies is a primal need. We all want to feel safe in our bodies. So, if you look at Abraham Maslow's pyramid, safety and having food on your table, a roof over your head—if safety is not there, it's game over for everything else. So, physical safety and emotional safety allows for better human connection. Better human connection means healthier democracies,” she told Upworthy.

She adds that when we are in survival mode, we don’t have time for our deeper needs and lack the bandwidth to develop or practice tolerance and empathy towards others. “You will not be thriving, but you'll be in more of a survival state, and when you're in that mode, your body is doing what it needs to save you. So you don't have much more energy and acceptance or tolerance to give to anyone.”

 Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, White House, Melania Trump, Washington DC, first lady Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Melania Trump.The White House/Wikimedia Commons

When we lack the space for empathy, it becomes harder to understand others, which can throw us into an unending loop of negativity. This can lead to constant rumination about how others are making your life miserable. “It goes on and on and on and on, and it never stops, and then you go and consume something on TikTok or on social media that is about how it's others' fault all the time. 'Well, of course you're miserable, it's their fault,' so that reinforces your rumination process.”

Once people stop showing compassion and empathy for one another, the entire democratic process, from how we discuss issues and culture—whether at our kitchen tables or on social media—is affected. The good news, according to Grégoire Trudeau, is that just like negativity can spiral out of control, positivity can do the same. “A negative loop will reinforce a negative loop, but a positive loop will reinforce a positive loop," she told Upworthy. “So, from a psychological perspective, we can help the brain do that by watching what we consume to stop the negative rumination process.”

The connection Grégoire Trudeau makes between politics and safety is a valuable reminder to all of us who wish to engage in the democratic process while promoting healthy discourse. How we engage with the other side in a debate reveals a great deal more about us than it does about them. When we find ourselves engaging in negativity or refusing to listen to another person’s needs, it may be a clear sign that there’s a significant problem we need to address within ourselves.

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Michelle Obama opened up about the racism she endured as first lady. It's heartbreaking.

“The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut."

History will remember Michelle Obama as a bold, resilient, and glass-ceiling-shattering pioneer in the White House. But behind closed doors, Obama silently wrestled with painful, unique hurdles literally no one else on Earth has experienced: being a black first lady of America.

During a candid discussion at the Women's Foundation of Colorado's (WFCO) 30th anniversary fundraiser on July 25, Obama opened up about the eight years of racist attacks she endured as first lady.

When WFCO President and CEO Lauren Casteel asked Obama about which falling glass shard from the ceiling she shattered hurt the most, the former first lady replied that it was the targeted comments — rhetoric referring to her as an "ape" and discussing her body — that were the toughest to shrug off, the Denver Post reported.



“The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut,” Obama said.

“Knowing that after eight years of working really hard for this country, there are still people who won’t see me for what I am because of my skin color.”

Photo by Jason Bahr/Getty Images for The Women's Foundation of Colorado.

While Obama earned relatively high approval ratings among Americans as a whole, she still had to tread through a seemingly unending onslaught of racist dog whistles and overtly bigoted attacks in her eight years as first lady.

There was that eyebrow-raising New Yorker cover depicting her with an Afro and machine gun, the racist (transphobic, misogynistic) comparison to Melania Trump, and the time shortly after taking office that a top Google Images search result for "Michelle Obama" was an image altered so she resembled a monkey.

But the bigotry, however daunting, never kept her from fighting onward.

“I want to live in a world that cares for its women,” Obama said at the fundraiser. “I hope that we can create a world where women are safe. At the core, I want girls to feel safety as they move about the world.”

Obama may no longer be America's first lady, but it's reassuring to know she's still going high — even when they go low.

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The story behind Michelle Obama's state dinner dress makes it even more stunning.

For the very last time, President Obama and the first lady hosted a state dinner in Washington, D.C., on Oct. 18, 2016.

Photo by Shawn Thew - pool/Getty Images.

They graciously welcomed Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and his wife, Agnese Landini, to the White House with open arms.

Photo by Yuri Gripas/AFP/Getty Images.

And the two power couples showed the world why diplomacy is certainly the most fashionable way to go about foreign policy, that's for sure.

Photo by Yuri Gripas/AFP/Getty Images.

Unsurprisingly, however, it was FLOTUS' dress that really got people talking.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

Because, yes, it was downright stunning.

Photo by Shawn Thew/Getty Images.

But the story behind why the first lady chose to wear it makes it an even more beautiful look.

The dress by Donatella Versace — who famously rescued her brother's company and turned it into a thriving Italian brand amid doubts she'd be able to do so — was a nod to the visiting prime minister and his wife. But Michelle Obama's choice to wear the rose gold shimmering waterfall of a gown had an even more underlying feminist message behind it, according to The New York Times.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

Michelle Obama's dress was made of chainmail — metal armor, essentially. And that speaks volumes about the type of message she wanted to send.

The gown was symbolic of female strength — a testament to the resiliency of a woman willing to fight for her beliefs and protect herself from bullies that might come along the way.

"When they go low, we go high," the first lady said on stage at the Democratic National Convention this past summer.

Her dress from Tuesday night summed that message up quite nicely.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

The first lady rocked the Versace gown in the wake of what's being called "the most powerful speech of the 2016 campaign" — an address she gave to voters in New Hampshire about the dire need to respect girls and women.

“I can’t stop thinking about this," she said during her speech, citing Donald Trump's discussion of sexual assault caught on tape. "It has shaken to me to my core in a way that I couldn’t have predicted.”

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

"I have to tell you that I listen to all of this and I feel it so personally, and I’m sure that many of you do too, particularly the women," the first lady said. "The shameful comments about our bodies. The disrespect of our ambitions and intellect. The belief that you can do anything you want to a woman."

“I know it’s a campaign, but this isn’t about politics. It’s about basic human decency. It’s about right and wrong,” she concluded. “And we simply cannot endure this, or expose our children to this any longer — not for another minute, and let alone for four years. Now is the time for all of us to stand up and say enough is enough."

Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images.

Like other first ladies before her, Michelle Obama often wears gowns that send a message above and beyond aesthetics.

Her royal blue dress at the Democratic National Convention, for example, was designed by Christian Siriano, an artist recognized for body positivity and inclusiveness within the fashion industry. Its sentiments fell in line with her powerful speech illustrating the value of national togetherness.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

In 2009, when she wore a white gown by designer Jason Wu to the president's Inaugural Ball, it was chosen as a show of hope and refreshed optimism — turning the page, in a sense, as the country struggled to climb out of the Great Recession.

Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

Michelle Obama's last state dinner is a tough pill to swallow for the many Americans who saw her as so much more than your standard first lady.

Much like her dress for this last state dinner, Obama's time in the White House represents what many of us aspire to be: strong, hopeful, and, even in the face of the most difficult of circumstances, having the ability to stay true to yourself.

Writing for The New York Times magazine, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie perfectly explained how the first lady's grit and resolve in the face of opposition shaped her into nothing short of an icon:

"The insults, those barefaced and those adorned as jokes, the acidic scrutiny, the manufactured scandals, the base questioning of legitimacy, the tone of disrespect, so ubiquitous, so casual. She had faced them, and sometimes she hurt and sometimes she blinked, but throughout, she remained herself."

Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images.

So, yeah. After eight years of being the first lady, chain mail was the perfect choice.

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What the Obamas' guests over the years tell us about the state of our union.

Meet some of the people who've attended the State of the Union as guests.

When it comes to the State of the Union, the first lady has the best seat in the house.

You'll find Michelle Obama enjoying tonight's speech from a balcony to the president's left. It's the same place she has watched each of the president's other six State of the Union addresses (2009's address wasn't technically a State of the Union).

First lady Michelle Obama waves before President Obama's State of the Union speech at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 20, 2015. Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

As has been tradition for nearly 30 years, she'll be joined by some special guests.

It's tradition that the president and first lady invite special guests to the State of the Union, and this year is no different. This year's group, seated around Michelle Obama, includes small-business owners, veterans, college students, state and local politicians, activists, a CEO, a police chief, and a Syrian refugee.

Past presidents have invited similarly diverse subsections of the country to the address, ranging from unsung heroes to individuals who simply represent a common struggle. In 2002, President George W. Bush invited the flight attendants who thwarted the "shoe bomb" attack; in 2000, President Bill Clinton invited baseball legend Hank Aaron.

President Obama blows a kiss to the first lady before delivering his State of the Union address on Feb. 12, 2013. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

No spot is as coveted as the one directly next to the first lady. Traditionally, it's been reserved for some very special guests.

During President Obama's administration, the seat has been filled by loved ones of shooting victims, first responders, a veteran, and others. And as the president makes his strongest push for gun control yet, 2016's won't be any different, with an empty chair left to represent all the victims of gun violence.

Let's take a look back at some of Michelle Obama's past guests and the causes they represented:

2015: Michelle Obama spends time with Rebekah Erler, an embodiment of economic resilience.

At the time of the State of the Union, Rebekah Erler was a 36-year-old accountant, wife, and mother of two boys. Her story was powerful largely because of how unremarkable and relatable it was.

Erler and her husband were hit hard by the Great Recession. Her husband's construction business failed, and the two of them bounced from job to job thereafter, making their way from Seattle to Minneapolis.

After attending her local community college, Erler found accounting work, and together, she and her husband bought their first home. Still, the two found themselves buried under a mountain of bills and expenses. Her invite represented all the hard-working American families who still barely scrape by, stretched thin.

First lady Michelle Obama and Rebekah Erler during the 2015 State of the Union address. Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images.

2014: Sgt. 1st Class Cory Remsburg symbolizes the need for an efficient VA.

The president closed his speech with an anecdote about Sgt. Remsburg, a 10-deployment veteran who was nearly killed when a roadside bomb went off in Afghanistan, leaving shrapnel in his brain. His recovery was long and hard, but after emerging from a coma, Remsburg made a near-full recovery.

"Men and women like Cory remind us that America has never come easy. Our freedom, our democracy, has never been easy," said President Obama. "Sometimes we stumble; we make mistakes; we get frustrated or discouraged. But for more than 200 years, we have put those things aside and placed our collective shoulder to the wheel of progress — to create and build and expand the possibilities of individual achievement; to free other nations from tyranny and fear; to promote justice, and fairness, and equality under the law, so that the words set to paper by our founders are made real for every citizen."

Michelle Obama and Army Ranger Sgt. 1st Class Cory Remsburg before the State of the Union on Jan. 28, 2014. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

2013: Cleopatra Cowley-Pendleton knows true loss.

On Jan. 29, 2013, 15-year-old Hadiya Pendleton was shot and killed on Chicago's South Side. Just two weeks after the King College Prep honor student's death, President Obama was to deliver the annual State of the Union. Hadiya's parents, Cleopatra Cowley-Pendleton and Nathaniel A. Pendleton, attended the speech, sitting next to the first lady.

President Obama referenced the Pendletons while calling on Congress to vote on common-sense gun measures.

"Hadiya’s parents, Nate and Cleo, are in this chamber tonight, along with more than two dozen Americans whose lives have been torn apart by gun violence," said the president. "They deserve a vote. They deserve a vote. Gabby Giffords deserves a vote. The families of Newtown deserve a vote. The families of Aurora deserve a vote. The families of Oak Creek and Tucson and Blacksburg, and the countless other communities ripped open by gun violence — they deserve a simple vote. They deserve a simple vote."

Michelle Obama and Cleopatra Cowley-Pendleton during the State of the Union on Feb. 13, 2013. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

2012: Astronaut Mark Kelly takes a stand against gun violence.

Best-selling author, astronaut, and retired Navy Capt. Mark Kelly joined Michelle Obama for the 2012 State of the Union. His wife, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, survived a January 2011 assassination attempt. Ever since, Kelly and Giffords have advocated on behalf of gun control.

Mark Kelly with Michelle Obama before President Obama's address on Jan. 24, 2012. Photo by Mladen Antonov/AFP/Getty Images.

2011: John and Roxanna Green, whose daughter was killed just days earlier in the assassination attempt on Gabby Giffords' life.

In the immediate aftermath of the Tucson shooting, President Obama invited John and Roxanna Green to be guests at the State of the Union.

Their daughter, Christina-Taylor, was born on Sept. 11, 2001, and her life was cut tragically short in the attack.


Michelle Obama applauds during the president's State of the Union on Jan. 25, 2011. Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images.

2010: Fort Hood first responders demonstrate bravery in the face of terror.

Mark Todd and Kimberly Munley were two first responders at the Nov. 5, 2009, attack at Fort Hood, Texas, that left 13 dead and more than 30 injured. Their fearlessness earned them a spot on the guest list to the annual address.


Police officers Mark Todd and Kimberly Munley of Killeen, Texas, join Michelle Obama before President Obama's first State of the Union on Jan. 27, 2010. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

There's certainly a trend here: gun violence.

The families of gun violence victims have been heavily represented during President Obama's terms in office, and tonight, with an empty chair, is no different.

In a room filled with some of the most powerful people on Earth, it's good to see everyday people get recognition.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

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