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upworthy

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Yellowjackets actor Juliette Lewis.

Not that she ever really left the spotlight, but the iconic Juliette Lewis has recently reached a new chapter in her stardom thanks to her role of Natalie in Showtime’s obsession-worthy new series “Yellowjackets.”

Her social media is filled to the brim with excited fan theories, juicy behind-the-scenes questions and enthusiastic character appreciation posts. There’s no question about it; people love her performance as the tough, haunted, shotgun-savvy Nat.

But fun “Yellowjackets” trivia isn’t the only thing Lewis talks about with her following. She recently posted an Instagram Q&A with the caption, “I know some things ‘bout livin, love-ASK ME.”

One fan wrote, “ a lot of times I feel alone and like no one is there for me.”

Lewis’ advice for overcoming loneliness is something I think bears repeating.


“The only cure-all for this feeling- is being there for another,” the actress replied.


In times of helplessness, being there for someone else might feel impossible. Counterintuitive even. But research has repeatedly shown that acts of altruism can help us live longer, lift us from depression and fulfill our very basic psychological need to belong. There’s a reason why loneliness feels so awful, and why generosity is a gift that keeps on giving.

In other words, Juliette Lewis is onto something here.

Lewis really does walk the talk with this. It only took a few seconds of searching on Google to see that she regularly supports charities, including (but not limited to) Little Kids Rock, an organization dedicated to providing music education to disadvantaged schools.

But working with charity organizations isn’t the only avenue. Lewis added that a generous act needn’t be a grand gesture. Your act of kindness could be as simple as “show[ing] up for another in [a way] they’d like–a phone call, give food, give them kindness and show care/interest…chat with them…make them feel less alone…make them feel heard or happier.”

There’s an added benefit of making someone feel heard, too. According to a study published in 2017, by helping others manage difficult emotions, we enhance our own ability to self-regulate and therefore improve our own emotional well-being. Think of it as psychology's way of saying “what goes around comes around.”

As Lewis advises, the person you help can be someone you know or a complete stranger. The only real caveat here is that it should be “a person you are not trying to get something from in return,” to prioritize “connecting without expecting.”

Odds are, those words of affirmation you long to hear … someone else longs to hear them as well. That longing you have to be surprised with a random bag of goodies … someone else feels the same way. Fulfilling another person’s wish opens us up to our own power.

As Lewis writes, “once you know you can give love to another generously I assure you [that] you will open up this energy flow. And might even notice you are not ‘needing’ as much.”

Shifting our perspective to focus on others while at a low point might at first seem like pouring from an empty cup, but maybe the opposite is actually true. Maybe by realizing how we can affect the lives of others, our cups are then filled with the discovery of how influential we really are.

Next time you’re having trouble keeping your chin up, see how it feels to lift someone’s spirit. This article from Mental Health offers some great ideas to start. But odds are your heart already knows what to do.

Thanks Juliette Lewis for the sage wisdom.

… and seriously, what happened to Nat?!

True
State Farm

Sisters Lindsey and Lee Ellen Fulmer were hundreds of miles apart when they came up with the same idea at the exact same time.

Back in 2014, Lindsey was about to begin her internship for a missions ministry in Oklahoma when she started thinking about traveling across the country and volunteering at different nonprofits.

"I didn't mention it to anyone, and I kind of just put it on the back burner," says Lindsey.


Lindsey (left) and Lee Ellen Fulmer. All images via Project Wave, used with permission.

At the same time, Lee Ellen was wrapping up her degree in elementary education in their hometown in South Carolina. She, too, was thinking about traveling the states.

But Lee Ellen didn't want to drive around aimlessly.

"I wanted to put a meaningful purpose behind it," she explains. "I thought it'd be really cool if I could volunteer everywhere I went. ... But I'm kind of a shy and reserved person, so I was like, 'I can't do this alone.'"

Guess who she called?

"[Lindsey] was like, 'This is something I've been thinking about for weeks now! This is the answer!'" Lee Ellen remembers with a laugh.

That's when the Fulmer sisters began to lay the foundation for Project Wave — a mission to volunteer in all 50 states, one week in each.

Helping feed the hungry in Hawaii with Aloha Harvest.

To get started, Lindsey planned out the route so it was both weather- and sightseeing-friendly. From there, they reached out to potential host families who might be willing to take them in for a week.

They also started saving their own money and were fortunate enough to set aside money for food and other necessities (with a bit of help from family and friends through a GoFundMe page).

Once that was all set, they searched for nonprofits within a one-hour radius of where they were staying.

Beyond that, they also had two main criteria: First, they wanted to help people directly. And second, they wanted to help out smaller nonprofits that don't get as much mainstream attention.

Skating with the ladies of Skate Like a Girl in Seattle.

"They don't get as much publicity as larger nonprofits, and they struggle because of that," explains Lee Ellen. "We also wanted to learn as much as possible on this trip. With the smaller nonprofits, you have the opportunity to talk with founders and directors and different department heads and work more closely with them."

Making masterpieces with the OFFCenter Community Arts Project in Albuquerque.

It took almost two years of planning, but eventually, in July 2016, Lindsey and Lee Ellen made their way to Tennessee — the first stop of their 50-week trip.

As of this writing, they're in Wyoming — the 41st state on their itinerary.

Raising awareness for mental health with Red Barn Farms in Utah.

"Voluntourism" can get a bad rap, so the sisters made sure to check their egos at the door and really listen to what each nonprofit needs. Whether it's helping clean facilities or working directly with people, Lindsey and Lee Ellen were sponges when it came to learning about other people's missions.

"When you're helping people of different backgrounds in different regions, you have to go in with an open mind," says Lindsey. "We're going to help you do what you need done."

"We're going to come in and learn about what you're doing or what people are struggling with without any judgment. ... Whatever you need, we make it happen."

Ultimately, the Fulmer sisters are hoping to spread their passion for service to as many people as possible.

Granted, not everyone will be able to take a volunteer trip to all 50 states. And when it comes to giving back, many people feel that donating money over donating time is the way to go. What the Fulmers emphasize is that it's important to understand what works best for you and how you can maximize your own giving potential. They wanted to travel, so they combined that with their dream of helping as many people as possible.

"There are people who are artists or who are good with computers or who just like to work with their hands," says Lee Ellen. "There are opportunities for those people out there. They just have to find them. And so we wanted to bring light to that to show that everyone has the ability to help someone."

All hands in!

She continues, "Our simplest mission is to inspire people of all different talents to get out and use their talents to help their community."

"One of the things we've seen throughout this trip is that organizations, people in need, families, everyone — people are genuinely good at the core of themselves," adds Lindsey. "They want to help people. They just need an opportunity to do that."

Keep spreading that positive message, ladies!

The most amazing thing about Project Wave isn't the miles they racked up — it's the message they've spread along the way: Look in your hearts, find what it is you love, and use that special something to make an impact and pay it forward in your own little way.

The last thing Dawn Miller remembers after coming down with a sudden splitting headache in her Florida condo was calling an ambulance.

Then, it all went dark.

“I must have passed out," she recalls of that terrifying night in 2014. "Because the next thing I remember was three weeks later, waking up in the hospital.” When she came to, confused and with part of her head shaved, Miller learned she'd had an aneurism. She was lucky to be alive.


However, that's about the same time it felt like Miller's luck ran out.

Despite working two jobs, the medical costs Miller accumulated in the hospital were too much for her to handle. Eventually, as a new PSA from the Robin Hood Foundation notes, she became homeless.With the money she had left, Miller left Florida for her hometown of New York, believing there'd be more services for struggling people like her in NYC than in the Sunshine State. It was there, standing in a crowded, overwhelming transit hub asking others for help, when the realities of homelessness really hit her.

“I was in shock,” she said. “Once I got here, standing with my suitcases in Port Authority, I felt like I could break down and cry.”

She lost everything ... well, almost everything.

Throughout her experience being homeless, the one thing Miller never let go of was her college diploma.

She'd gone back to school at the age of 42. She graduated from Pace University with a degree in communications. She knows what it means — and what it takes — to work hard and achieve your goals.

"I graduated with a 3.71 GPA," she says. "I did very well. I was very proud of myself. And every time I look at my degree, I have something to be proud of.”

In some ways, just holding on to the diploma reminded her that she's a fighter. And it helped her find a path to a better life.

Miller is part of a new series called "The Things They Carry," where she appears along with four other people who've experienced homelessness discussing an item they never let go of.

The video is by the Robin Hood Foundation, a poverty-fighting group based in New York City. A man named William held on to a pair of pants he wore every day on the streets. "I keep these jeans here to remind myself of where I come from," he said.

For Hector, it was a wallet his mother gave him years ago. "The wallet saved me," Hector says in the PSA, explaining how just remembering his mother stopped him from killing himself moments before he was about to do so. "I always keep it for myself."

Thanks to a few helping hands, things are looking up for Miller.

She discovered Urban Pathways, a program of Robin Hood's focused on fighting homelessness in New York. Now Miller has a part-time job and expects to be living in a new home in the Bronx, before Christmas.

She hasn't forgotten what it felt like that day in Port Authority, though — that devastating feeling like she'd lost it all. She hopes her story inspires others to see the world a little bit differently too.

“Keep an open mind and an open heart when you’re dealing with someone less fortunate," she says, noting homelessness can come out of nowhere. "It can hit anybody."

Watch Miller's heart-wrenching PSA, part of "The Things They Carry," below:

"This is my college degree. It means to me that I'm a fighter."Dawn is a formerly homeless New Yorker and was helped by a #RHFunded organization.Each week between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we will be sharing the story of a NYer who overcame homelessness. What’s it like to lose everything? What do you fight to keep? How do you choose? These are their stories. These are The Things They Carry. https://bit.ly/2gkhaFl

Posted by Robin Hood Foundation on Thursday, November 24, 2016

Brenda Moore was helping her husband take care of his ailing mother when she noticed a peculiar habit.

Moore's mother-in-law, who had Alzheimer's, constantly picked at her face, a nervous tick of sorts. After some research, Moore learned that restless hands are an extremely common problem for people with dementia, leading to them to fidget with buttons, clothing, small objects, or whatever else is in reach.

In the case of Moore's mother-in-law, the fidgeting led to awful sores and scabs all over her face. Moore knew she had to help.


After lots of research on restless hands, Moore stumbled upon a strange solution she'd never heard of: twiddlemuffs.

They're short, knitted, tube-like creations (imagine a handwarmer made of thick yarn), and they're covered in buttons, ribbons, and other small doodads for people to, well, twiddle with.

A fuzzy purply twiddlemuff! Photo by @nursemaiden/Twitter used with permission.

Twiddlemuffs provide comfort and stimulation for folks with dementia. They also get rave reviews from dementia patients, their families, and health professionals alike because they actually work to calm people's hands. It doesn't hurt that they have an adorable name either.

Unfortunately, Moore never got the chance to knit her mother-in-law a twiddlemuff; she passed away last year at the age of 92. But this year, Moore, who has been knitting since she was 6 years old, challenged herself to create 200 muffs to donate to a local Alzheimer's society. She says they take about two days each to make. But she's up to the task.

All over the world, knitting groups, nursing homes, and lone wolfs like Moore are knitting thousands and thousands of twiddlemuffs for folks with dementia.

It's the biggest movement of the holiday season you've never heard of.

And isn't it just fun to say twiddlemuffs over and over?

Twiddlemuffs are far from a cure for dementia, of course. But anything that provides comfort and warmth to people going through a challenging time is worthwhile.

And the best news is that you can make your own twiddlemuffs at home, either to donate or to give as a gift to a loved one who could use it.

Moore explains, "Twiddlemuffs are made a bit like making a scarf. The first half of the muff is made by using textured wools of every kind for about 11 inches," she says. "You sew the ends together so that you have a long tube."

Then, it's time to decorate! Add on "buttons, zips, pom poms, ribbons, anything of a tactile nature that can be twiddled," she says. Just make sure it's securely attached for safety.

If you're interested, you can download a full set of instructions here.

And if knitting isn't your thing? No worries. Just spread the word to other people who might be able to help. With a word as fun to say as twiddlemuffs, that part should be easy.